In The 'Hood

For those not living in Halifax (or if you live in Halifax, but under a rock), we are having a municipal election right now so naturally it's all anyone can talk about. It's quite heated this time around because (in a nutshell) our mayor and city council absolutely SUCK and need to be all thrown out. A "do-over" is in order, and that's what all we citizens are hoping for, including me.

With this "election fever" sweeping the city lately, I have been trying to learn a bit more about my new District. I say 'new' because I only moved here six months ago (I lived in another District at the time of the last election). Not to mention it's a neighbourhood I was not very familiar with previously and (honestly) it was not my first-choice area to live in when the boy and I first planned moving in together. That being said, the area is relatively central and rent is cheap, so here we are! And I am becoming more and more acquainted with the area over time and it's starting to grow on me.

*Did I mention that we live in District 12? When I found that out, I couldn't help but picture me in a ring fighting the guy across the hall to the death*

Anyway, in an effort to become more acquainted with my new neighbourhood, I have been trying to frequent businesses in the area as much as possible. One plus about our location is that we are very central in Clayton Park West - we are basically halfway between two major shopping strips so pretty much any shop or restaurant or clinic or bank we could possibly want is within a 10 minute walk. 

Here are a few of my District 12 favs (so far):

1. Keshen Goodman Library
Before I moved to Clayton Park, I am ashamed to say I had not visited the Library in several years and had developed a bit of an unhealthy addiction to Chapters. Well, considering this Library is literally across the street from my apartment building, and that I am on a tight budget (new books are expensive, y'all) I decided I needed to be a good citizen and start visiting the Library more. 

First of all, isn't the architecture of this place cool?!

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Almost all the walls are lined with windows, which makes for a bit of a hot interior on a sunny day, but still cool to look at. Walking around a library is so soothing, don't you think? It's so quiet and just full of people either reading or browsing books. I love that they have a self check-out here, and they often have neat speakers or events happening in their event room. I particularly love that I can borrow books from here for my Kobo (in case, you know, I'm so lazy that I can't even make it across the road).

2. Canada Games Centre
This building is also directly across the street from my apartment (did I say good location?), and is another new building of modern design. It was built to host the aquatic events of the 2012 Canada Games, so as you can imagine the pool area is pretty bangin'.

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Check out that water slide!

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Ok, so I have to admit - I have never actually visited this place before. However, I plan to take my sister swimming there soon! They have community swims every Tuesday and Thursday night that anyone can attend - it only costs $3! Personally, I can't wait to get my butt in the hot tub with a cocktail (they won't mind if I keep gin in my locker, right?). And I do just like looking at the place, if nothing else; it's nice to see some interesting architecture in a suburban area (breaks up the big box store haze).

3. Restaurants
If I had one major complaint about my new area it's that there are not ANY interesting local restaurants (think Applebee's and East Side Marios and their look alikes). The choices out here are pretty homogeneous, which is something that bugs me and I hope changes. Suburban areas can have fun, fresh food choices too! Here are a few that I like:

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Not to say that burgers and fries are anything special, but although Flipburger is a chain, it at least has a fun, modern vibe and meals that actually use fresh ingredients instead of bites made blah from heat lamps. They actually include local ingredients, such as Oulton's bacon on their menu too, which is also refreshing.

I have written about Happy Sushi on the blog before, but I will say it again - whoever thought up the concept of "All You Can Eat Sushi" AND putting it 2 minutes away from my apartment is a frickin' genius and I want to kiss them.

A big fav is Mexico Lindo, which isn't exactly in my own backyard but it's close enough. It's HANDS DOWN the most authentic Mexican food in the city, everything is really fresh and the prices are reasonable - what more could you ask for?! Don't believe me - check out my review on Yelp. This is a definite "go-to" when we want a fresh but delicious meal.

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Thanks for taking a tour of some of my "so-far" favourites in my new 'hood. Now get out there and explore yours!

Do you like your neighbourhood? What do you like about it? What would you change? Do you try and get out and explore yours or do you prefer to visit other areas?

Radio Two

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 I have had a special treat for the past couple of weeks. And it has nothing to do with chocolate.

I know. I'll just give you a moment to collect your jaw off the floor.

I have been driving my mom's car - when she or her boyfriend are away, I get to borrow her car and this gives me a much-needed break from taking public transport back and forth to work each day (kill me). The best part of it is, I get all the benefits of having a car to drive, without all of the responsibility. Sort of like babysitting your grandkids - you get to have all this fun with them and pump them full of sugar, then you get to hand them over right when they become irritable and say 'here you go!'.

One of the treats that comes along with driving back and forth to work every day is getting to listen to the radio. This may not sound very exciting, but when you take the bus every day, you really don't get to listen to the radio, like ever. This isn't a huge deal to me either until I hear my friends (my friends with cars) talk about a current song, and I have never heard of it. Makes me feel kinda silly. I do feel a little out of the loop regarding news and current pop culture when I don't listen to the radio.

I have gotten in the habit of listening to CBC Radio 2 during my commute (102.7fm in Halifax), which is surprising because I was not happy with this station a few years back when they completely changed all the programming. Specifically, I was unhappy that they got rid of a great classical music morning show, hosted by Tom Allen, that my mother and I would devour happily every morning on our blah drive over the bridge to work and school respectively (when I still lived at home).

Tom always told the most delightful anecdotes about each piece of music before playing it, so it was very educational and interesting to listen to. We ALL need a perk during that morning drive surrounded by traffic and drowsiness (am I right?) and this was ours. Suffice to say all these changes to programming caused a bit of an uproar amongst CBC R2 fans, and I stopped listening to the station almost altogether.

I suppose part of the reason I started listening again was because of a lack of quality and unique music elsewhere on the airwaves. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for an upbeat, catchy pop song once in a while - I like me some Lady Gaga, Pink and Nikki Minaj once in a while, so I'm certainly not one to completely denounce popular music, but that doesn't mean I respect all popular music. Frankly, a lot of it sounds the same and a lot of it is so massively overproduced that I am convinced many of the artists have no real talent at all. Sometimes I just want to hear something different, ya know? Something with lyrics about deeper and more emotional subjects than getting drunk and humping on a dance floor (so sue me).

CBC Radio not only plays music by lesser-known artists - particularly songwriters (you know, people who actually can sing, play instruments, and write songs) - but they also highlight mostly Canadian content, which is also refreshing when the airwaves are clogged with homogenous American acts.

Here are a couple of songs that have caught my ear in the last week or so - so much so that I had to Shazam them (as best I could while driving...shhhh, don't tell my mother), and email myself a reminder to download them. I figure a song must speak to you if you're willing to go through that kind of effort to ensure it gets on your iTunes. I thought I would share them with you as well, in case you are looking for some musical inspiration right now (see below).

Ok, ok, Radio 2, I admit it - you have brought me back into your fold. I guess changes can turn out for the best.

(By the way, if you are looking for some new music, how 'about changing your usual radio station and listening to something different? Give it a try today - you may hear some songs that you can't wait to Shazam, too!).

I don't know about you, but I was NOT expecting this singer to be a woman! Love her deep, gravely voice!

One of the best voices in music today, IMHO

Recognize this one? ;)

Discovered any great music lately? What radio stations do you like to listen to?

Falling in Love

One of the things I hate about Nova Scotia weather is the seasons always seem to change so abruptly. One minute it's 30 degrees and hot and sunny, and the next you are wearing 4 layers just to go to sleep in your tent Labour Day weekend (this is not hypothetical - this was my LD weekend).

This was the week of 'the shift' and I am still a bit depressed about it. It's still warm enough to wear sandals during the day and the calendar doesn't officially shift for another couple of weeks, but there is definitely a new crisp chill to the air and just a general movement towards a more Fall-like mood.

That being said, I do LOVE Fall. I love me some sunshine, sand and swimming, but there is just something so romantic and heartwarming about this season. It sort of feels like a new start but a lead-up to hibernation at the same time - you are getting 'back to the grind' while also looking ahead to the colder weather and shorter days. I love...

...that it's cool enough to wear a couple of layers but warm enough that you don't need to bundle up.

I love cozy layers - sweaters and scarves - leggings and boots - cute hats and fingerless gloves - ponchos - rich, warm colours - cute braids and hair twists. I love fall fashion.

 

*all photos can be found here*

...the spicy, fragrant, flavours of Fall.

I love pumpkin (anything) - cinnamon, ginger and spice - apple pie - hot soups and stews - warm, aromatic drinks - sweet potato and squash - Thanksgiving dinner. I love Fall flavours.

*All photos can be found here*

I can't wait to go apple picking, drive and hike through vibrant yellow and red trees, cook up a comforting giant crock-pot meal, (hopefully) cook and host my 1st Thanksgiving dinner, wearing printed scarves with all my outfits, decorate my apartment with Fall colours and scents, etc. Sure, I'm sad to see summer go, but I'm also excited for what's to come.

 

What do you love (or not love) about Fall? Are you excited or apprehensive about the change of seasons? Any fun plans for the next two months?

getting hairy

I am very moody when it comes to my hair (ok, so perhaps I am moody in general, but that's another blog post). I find I keep a style for a few months, then I get sick of it and want to change it up. I used to change up the colour a lot more too, until I decided I didn't want to fry my hair anymore. For the past couple of years I have been different variations on red/auburn - I know, I know, still damaging but not as "frying" as blond, which I sported for almost all of high school and University (and I did go a couple of years completely natural with NO dying whatsoever).

I seem to be satisfied long-term with the colour now, but I still yo-yo all the time with the cut. Just in the past year I have had it long and layered, an asymmetrical bob (both with a long side-bang), and now I have a basic shoulder-length cut with blunt bangs. I liked the asymmetrical shorter cut, but after a couple of months I longed for...well, long. I so missed being able to put my hair in fun, different styles like braids and buns. The short cut barely allowed me to pull my hair back at all. All in all, it was a fun change but my heart truly belongs to long hair.

So, I'm yet again in the position where I am growing it out - is it just me, or does hair seem to take FOREVER to grow out when you are itching for it to be long?? We are going to Mexico in March (oh yeah, baby) and I want my hair to be long enough by then to try out some fun new styles!

It's (slowly) getting there - it's actually long enough to pull back now, but not as long as I'd like - but until it gets to where I want it, I'll at least have the dream of length and versatility. I can always look up photos of styles (such as the ones below) and dream of the day when I can try them out on my own long locks.

What about you - do you wear your hair short or long? Are you satisfied with your current look or are you itching to change it up?

(Need some hair inspiration? Check out Pinterest. That's where I found all these photos, and let me tell ya' - it was tough to narrow it down to a few, there are so many beautiful ones!)

Love that this looks sort of messy and undone, but still pretty. And I love the headband - really into the headband look right now, and looking forward to a time when I can wear them in a cool, thrown-on way like this.

Great wedding hairstyle (maybe not so much for everyday - but a variation on this would still be good for the office)

Pretty sure I could never pull this style off, no matter how long my hair gets, but hey - we are talking about daydreaming here!

Coolest thing ever? I think so!

Keeping Up With the NYRs

Found here

New Year's Resolutions (aka NYR's) are overrated. Lets be honest - the ones most of us set for ourselves are so lofty and unrealistic (both in general and in relation to our own lifestyles) that we are basically setting ourselves up to fail. When is the last time you set a NYR and actually stuck to it (for more than a week), let alone actually accomplished it fully? In addition to being unrealistic, most NYR's are fairly broad as well (lose weight, be more patient) so sometimes it's hard to know if you have actually accomplished it or not!

I am certainly speaking for myself here. In the past I have shot myself in the foot by setting major goals for myself in the wake of the post-new-year/holiday push of energy and self-examination many times (remember this WAY long-winded post from last January?*).

I am so over that.

Don't get me wrong, I am not over setting goals for yourself or pushing yourself to be better. I will always be a huge proponent of that. It's important to examine your life on a regular basis and "clean house", i.e. eliminate or improve on the things that are holding you back. However, I will never be a proponent of pressuring yourself by setting expectations that are so high that it's only a matter of time before I throw them out the window and decide that I am lazy and flawed.

I have realized (the hard way) over time that setting manageable goals is the key. Be honest with yourself about your habits, your inclinations, your personality and what you tend to prioritize in life. Only you can know how much you can manage and what will work for your life/what won't so it's time to get real about that. Who cares what Suzie Underpants over there can manage (or can SEEM to manage - KEY!) - what can YOU manage? What works best for YOU?

So, what works for me? Setting a short list of specific, short-term, realistic goals - ones that are not so specific that I feel restricted, but not so broad that I do not have any clue as to where to start. Activities that are focused around jump-starting new habits, that will hopefully (eventually - no timeline) lead to achieving greater goals (rather than going for the greater goal right out of the gate and ending up trampled by it) is what works for me.

With all this in mind, here are some things I am going to work on in coming weeks:

1. Eat smaller portions and replace carbs with protein/vitamins whenever possible

2. Spend one hour per week on a creative or artistic activity 

(non-writing, e.g. painting, drawing, craft)

3. Go on a hike with the boy once per week

4. Continue to work on getting better quality freelance writing work (I realize this is rather broad, but I have various tactics I plan on trying out to help work toward this goal - including some changes to how and what I write on this blog - stay tuned! - don't need to go into more detail here)

That's it. Sure, I have lots of plans for the year, lots of things I would like to accomplish that are bigger and broader, but those are things that I can tackle when the time is right. They are not urgent priorities (and, in fact, I have to wait for some other things to fall into place before tackling them) and can be kept in the back of my mind until they are. The goals that will be at the front of my mind are only the above. If I can more-or-less stick with them for a few months until they become habit, then I will be happy. When that happens, perhaps I will choose five different primary goals to work on. Or maybe I'll take these ones one step further. 

Who knows. I'll see what happens and how I feel. After all, the power is in my hands, not in theirs.

What do you think of NYRs? Did you make any for this year?

*Speaking of which, related to #  above, I am going to work on being more concise this year. No, seriously.

Short Week for a Short Chick

Well, it's a short week here in Canada since it's a holiday tomorrow (Happy Birthday to my lovely country!). So, even though today is Thursday, it's technically my Friday.

Take a minute to let that sink in. I know, it's a mind-twister.

The best thing about this long weekend is that they are predicting SUN ALL WEEKEND! Trust me, we are lucky to get that here in Halifax, especially lately when the heavens have apparently deemed us to be experiencing a drought and decided to drop the entire Nile River on top of us. Thanks for nothing, Gods; you would think we would deserve better treatment for worshipping you all day long...
...

Anyhoo, suffice to say I am excited about the long weekend. Here are some other things I am excited about right now:

> The Canada Post strike is over, which means I am FINALLY receiving things in the mail I have been waiting on for at least a month. I got my heart necklace from Heart of Haiti, that I received for my participation in this blog promotion. It is really cute (see!) and I can see myself wearing it all summer with many different ensembles. I am still waiting on a book I ordered on Amazon, and a fun gift bag I won through a blog giveaway. It also means I won't have to go a half hour out of my way on the way home to pick up my paycheques anymore (usually they are mailed to me, but obviously with the postal strike - no mail, so I had to go to the office in person which is an annoying chore when you don't have a car and your city's bus system sucks balls).

That's right, the temp agency I work for does not have direct deposit. Apparently they are living in 1911 and not 2011. Though can't complain too much, because without them I'd pretty much be living in a box at the Dockyards.

> My boyfriend and I are planning on visiting Thomas Raddall Park down the south shore of Nova Scotia tomorrow to pick up the 3rd geocache in a series I wrote about here (post may not be up yet because they have a backlog). I'm looking forward to a little road trip and getting some fresh air and exercise. Friday night is bringing a free concert back in the city for Canada Day, featuring The Trews and The Stanfields (which are awesome local bands that have made it pretty big, at least in Canada)*. And, of course, fireworks. It wouldn't be Canada's birthday without fireworks.

> On Saturday we are hoping to go on a bike ride. My boyfriend bought a bike recently and really wants to get back into biking regularly. I have not been on a bike in, oh, 10 years I would say and even when I was skinny and fit enough to ride one I didn't do it that often. It will be interesting to see how this goes. Looking forward to it though, despite what you might think. Not looking forward to the wiping out part, but maybe that won't happen. More than twice.

> On Sunday, I will be getting a new roomie! She's part ginger, has a great personality and is apparently really funny and entertaining. Here she is:

Isn't she cute?? via Twin Bridges Photography

Meet Bella! She is actually my friend's mom's cat. Her poor mom has to find a home for the cat because she has a new little grandchild running around plus another on the way, and the cat does not get along well with the kids. She needs to be in a home with no kids and no other pets, and it just so happens that I have been really wanting to get another kitty (I have been so missing have a pet since I had to put my Nutty down last Fall) and have a quiet home with no other pets or kids (just me!). I'm taking her in for a trial for a few weeks starting Sunday. We will see how we click and if we are living well together than I will keep her! I'm really excited to get to know her. I will be back with an update in a few weeks, I'm sure. (side thought - wouldn't it be cool if you could do "trial runs" with people roomies? If after 2 weeks, they are not picking up their dirty clothes or washing their dishes, you can boot them out the door! Sweet, huh? I think I'm onto something...)

Other places I have been this week:
* Check out my first True Blood mini-recap on You Know You Love Fashion!
* I posted a couple reviews on Yelp this week - one for a local Irish pub, and one for a new favourite cafe in my neighbourhood that serves amazing gelato
* I went to see Bad Teacher on Tuesday and it was really funny. I have to say, even though Cameron Diaz's character is a jerk, it's refreshing to see female characters in movies that have sass, independence and a little bit of crude. Women need to see characters beyond the scope of the sickly sweet rom-com heroines that are constantly shoved down our throats (IMHO) *endrant*

What are you excited about this week? What are your weekend plans?

*ok, all the bands I really like seem to start with "The" - what is that about? I'm sure there is a Freudian theory of some kind to explain such things...

An Update on "My Journey"

I have officially been a member of Weight Watchers now for approx. 6 weeks and I thought it would be great to give a quick update of my triumphs, frustrations and impressions to date:

*Bad news: My average weight loss is 1lb a week - though actually it's less than that bc the first week I lost 2.6lbs. This is disappointing as I would like to be losing a min. of 1.5lbs a week. I realize any weight loss is good, but I had one week (this one actually) where I didn't lose at all, and one where I gained a lb. (although it's important to note that I've lost 6lbs overall, which is the most I've ever been able to lose on dieting!).

*Good news: I have learned SO much about my eating habits, it's been enormously eye-opening.

- I have realized I'm a snacker, I tend to get hungry every couple of hours, I tend to eat when I'm bored, I tend to eat even when I'm full in order to clean my plate  (seriously, I hate leaving food on my plate for some reason! What is that about?! I'm sure there is some deep psychological stuff going on there, but don't even wanna go there)

- I have learned to tailor my diet TO my habits rather than the other way around (e.g. packing each item in my lunch with a specific purpose since I get hungry every few hrs; learning some simple recipes so that I'm more motivated to cook at home, etc).

- I have learned that, even if you are not losing a ton of weight, making changes in your diet WILL change your body and what it is used to. I ate a box of Reese's pieces the other night at a movie and felt "icky" after. I also felt icky for much of Saturday morning after having pizza for supper the night before (well, no proof that the two are correlated, but that's my suspicion). It used to be that I could eat a small popcorn AND candy, and go for a greasy dinner afterward, and not feel sick but here I was feeling sick after ONE box of candy! That was a real "WOW" moment for me, and it made me not want to eat sweet snacks like that very often.

- I have learned to plan ahead - there are ways to indulge yourself while still staying within your points target (this is one of my fav things about the WW plan - flexibility). For example, I like eating out so if I know I'm going to be eating out that night, I will make sure I eat in such a way that I use as few points as possible (not STARVE myself, just eat mostly low point/zero point items) in the rest of the day, that way when I go to the restaurant I have like 20 points at my disposal and can pretty much order whatever I want. I also have been more disciplined with my grocery shopping - if I don't have junk in the house I won't eat it, simple as that!

- I have learned that I thrive on routine - I find the easiest time to stick to dieting is during the week when I'm at work because I have a regular schedule, I only have a small supply of food to last me the day (I find the expense of buying food keeps me from indulging in treats, and makes me stick to ONLY my lunch bag), and I'm usually busy (especially right now) and so my mind wanders less. When I'm prone to snacking is when I don't have the structure of the regular schedule, hence the next point...

*Bad news: I have realized that I tend to really slack off on the weekends - I tend to not record my food (out of a combination of laziness, forgetfulness, irregular schedule which means I'm not always near a computer, and just being sick of doing it all week and wanting a break), and I also tend to eat more often and eat more fattening foods. Because I am often "out-and-about" on weekends and not recording what I'm taking in, it's much easier to just grab whatever food is within reach and ignore the calories. Unfortunately, this means that a lot of the "good behaviour" I practiced during the week is virtually flushed down the drain.

- Also, most of my social engagements tend to be relegated to the weekend, so I often find myself eating out or doing some kind of group social activity and lets face it, these often involve fattening food. I find it extremely hard to go out to a restaurant or to a friend's house where there is fattening food within easy reach and on the plates of people directly in front of you, and order something healthy or not eat at all. It is disappointing (obviously) to see others enjoying delicious food that you can't have, plus there is a kind of "subliminal" peer pressure that exists that urges to you order what your friends or ordering (as silly as that sounds). I really, really need to get better at paying more attention to what I eat and how much on the weekends.

*Good news: I have fallen in love with hiking! My boyfriend and I have actually been taking 2-3 hour hikes every weekend almost since we started dating 5 months ago, and I really look forward to these now. It has been a great way to get out and get some fresh air, explore the many awesome trails that exist right on our doorstep (there are literally hundreds!), pick up some geocaches, and of course contribute to my weight loss. A 3 hour hike gives you around 14 activity points in Weight Watchers, which is amazing! Even if I haven't been losing weight at the rate I would prefer, I know I have at least toned up and I definitely have more energy and stamina. I'm looking forward to continuing this tradition now that the weather is warming up.

So, that is where I stand in my journey!

Journey is a good name for my weight loss experience because that's probably the biggest thing I've learned - weight loss is a PROCESS. It is actually a lifelong/long-term commitment, not something that can happen overnight or that you can quit once you have reached your goals. And it's not just about the number on the scale - it's about making a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. I truly believe you cannot move forward until you come to terms with this. Sometimes I get frustrated that the process is so slow - I just want to get to my first 10lb goal already! But you can't do that. You can't focus on how long it's taking and what is NOT happening - you MUST focus on the GOOD things.

As hard as it is sometimes, you HAVE to keep focusing on the positive because that is the only way you will stick with it. A defeatist attitude  will only serve to set you back on the journey and it's not fair to you. That is why I haven't stuck with diets before - when I fell off the wagon I never got back on. I let the feeling of hopelessness take over and would give up.

I keep telling myself that the important thing is that I have recognized the need for a change, and I am making efforts to make that change happen. I definitely feel more positive about this "try" than I ever have about previous ones. So, those of you that are struggling with weight loss and shifting to a healthier lifestyle, please remember these points - and know that you are not alone. Give yourself a break.

Weight loss to date: 6lbs
Next goal: Lose 5% of body weight (9.2lbs) by April 30th
Next long-term goal: Lose 15lbs by May 21st (Victoria Day weekend)

Life is Good. That is All.

Life is good right now. I don't mean to brag, and I also don't mean to sound like a hippy-dippy tree-hugger or something. I just feel good about my life right now.

Here are some of the reasons why:

* I've been a member of Weight Watchers for approx. 2.5 weeks now and I've lost a total of 4lbs. Now 4 lbs isn't a huge amount of weight, but it's great for only 2 weeks. Plus, the thing that I love the most about this program is how accountable it has made me. It has completely changed my mindset in terms of what I eat and when. Once I started recording my food, it's like someone propped my eyes open with toothpicks because I realized up until that point I was eating WAY more and of WAY worse stuff than I realized! It boggled my mind how much of a mindless eater I am, and how few nutrients I was actually getting on a daily basis. I have also realized that the IDEA of a healthy lifestyle is scarier than actually living a healthy lifestyle - I was so worried before I started that I'd be starving all the time, would never be able to eat out or treat myself, and that I would generally be miserable and want to naw my own arm off after 4 days. However it's the complete opposite! I CAN have that cookie or that piece of pizza; I CAN go out with friends. It's all about moderation and portions and planning. Anyway, I won't go on and on (because I could, trust me) but suffice to say I'm finding this new healthy eating plan really great for me and I'm already feeling better about how my body feels and looks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed to meet my 1st goal (5% of my weight, or approx. 9lbs) by the end of this month!

* I'm really enjoying my new job - I'm not sure if I have explained my recent career change on this blog, but basically I've been temping since September while I try to find a permanent position and it's been a tough slog. I won't go into all the details here, but suffice to say I worked an admin assistant position that I really didn't like (but unfortunately was my only/best choice at the time), that is I worked there until about mid-February when I was let go because they filled my position permanently. However, it worked out for the best because my temp agency (which is amazing by the way!!) found me another position at the University in a different department and doing work which is actually related to my degree and activities that I really enjoy. I'm still temping for now, but the job will be reposted in the next few months and I'll have the opportunity to apply. For now, I'm just trying my darndest to work really hard and prove myself because this is a really great opportunity I don't want to miss! So, I've been here now approx. 3 weeks and I can already see myself working here long-term. I'm currently assisting with planning a major Conference taking place the end of April so I'm quite busy with that (and slightly stressed!) but I'm learning SO much. I'm really excited to see where this opportunity takes me in the next few months...stay tuned!

* I have been spending more and more time with my lovely boy. I don't like to get too personal on here, but what I will say is that we have a lot of fun together and he is very sweet. We love to go on little adventures, like road trips and taking in events around town. He's great for my weight loss too because he really enjoys hiking as well so we've been going on hikes every weekend for at least 2 hours! Now that it's warming up here, we are able to stay out longer and go on more trails since they are not all snowed in. He has also turned me onto Geocaching, which I'm sort of becoming addicted to. If you have never heard of it or tried it, check out the website - it's a lot of fun and a great way to get outside for some fresh air and to explore the city/town/province/state where you live. We have found so many little hidden gems around Nova Scotia and Halifax that I had no idea existed (and I've lived here my whole life! Hello!). It's a HUGE pastime - I had no idea how many people were into it and that they are so serious about it. If you like to travel and explore and be outdoors, give it a try! If you do, add me as a friend (my username is shortfuuse).

* I've been generally trying to focus more on myself and my personal life lately - I gave up some extracurriculars in order to have more time, both to spend with myself and with others. I have been trying to spend more "me" time, either just relaxing, or doing activities I enjoy like painting and drawing (I've been trying to tap into my creative side more as it's been neglected a lot in recent years and I really miss it). I've also been making an effort to spend more time with my sister and keeping in touch with friends. This has been quite successful and I know it's made me feel more positive and fulfilled. This is still a work-in-progress, but my efforts so far have really made a difference.

So, that's what I've been up to. Like I said, life is good! I think it's important for all of us to re-evaluate our lives once in a while ; to ask ourselves what's working and what's not and try our best to weed out the things that aren't working and replace them with other things that would benefit more from our time and efforts. We are all guilty of spreading ourselves to thin at times, and over the wrong things. Having a million hobbies and obligations doesn't necessarily mean you're a more accomplished and happier person. Sometimes having less external "projects" on your plate is better because it allows you to focus on more important things (like relationships).

Thanks for sticking with me, y'all! I told you I'd be back didn't I? I never make a promise I can't keep! **

What is new in your life??


*Seriously, if you are trying to lose weight and can't find anything to work for you (and you haven't tried it already), TRY Weight Watchers! Know what the best part is? If you sign up for the Online option, you get a whole online profile that's similar to Facebook and a Blog! I'm blogging about my experience here (not sure if the link will work for non-members but give it a try and let me know). LOVE IT!!

**I have to say I've missed this little ol' blog of mine. I have been keeping up with others' posts and reading their blogs has made me nostalgic for mine. I miss having it as an outlet for my opinions and thoughts, and I miss connecting with other writers through my comments and discussions on places such as 20-Something-Bloggers. 
I guess I felt weird about coming back all of a sudden after being gone so long, but then I realized it's my blog and I can do what I want with it. Besides, that's one of the great things about blogging - you can do it as much or as little as you want! Since I've missed it and I've cleared out some of the mental clutter I discussed here, I decided it's a good time to get back into it. I'm just going to post when I feel like it and not put too much pressure on myself. This is kind of the way I'm living my whole life right now - I'm feeling very easygoing and positive - I've made a dent in some positive changes I've been meaning to tackle, and I'm feeling good about that and that good feeling is permeating throughout my life. I still have plans for this space that I may or may not tackle in the near future, but for now I'm just concerned with what makes me feel good, and no matter the format or agenda, it feels good to blog! So, that's what I'm gonna do!

Auld Lang Syne

Ok, so this post is rather "late" compared to most of the blogosphere. But what do you want from me, my brain got into major "vacation mode" and I was not into doing much other than eating, sleeping and watching movies. Actually my brain is still in that mode, but unfortunately I was forced to come back to work today against my will. Anyhoo, I must say it was rather nice not to follow any blogs or any such thing for 10 days. It's good to "unplug" and give your brain a break once in a while...

But back to reality! New Year - New You. That is the current refrain on everyone's lips right now.

To be honest, I have mixed feelings about New Years resolutions - I think it's great to set goals for yourself and this is as good a time as any to do so, however I think many people put unnecessary pressure on themselves to meet very high, unrealistic expectations (trust me, I know; I have a lot of practice in this area). I think a lot of it is setting yourself up for failure, and what's the point in that? Also I think it's important to be constantly thinking about what you want to achieve and reevaluating that based on circumstances rather than painting yourself into a corner once a year because you feel like you should (but don't really want to).

It's possible to take stock and set goals for yourself without going overboard. It's important to be realistic about your personality and lifestyle, and what you can reasonably accomplish within those parameters. It's also important to place importance on small victories and not just huge, sweeping changes; you don't have to completely turn your life and who you are around in order to grow and challenge yourself.

Before the holidays when I was in a "gung-ho" mood, I made a huge list of resolutions I wanted to follow in the new year, complete with sub-goals and headings (dork alert!). But something shifted over the holidays so that when I looked at the list again a few days ago (keeping in mind that copious amounts of chocolate, gin and laying around could have something to do with my new apathetic attitude) I balked at the ambition of it. Again, nothing wrong with ambition, but there comes a point when ambition becomes crazy and goals become completely overwhelming and therefore, unachieveable.

I decided 'screw that' and decided to severely edit my list of goals.

Don't get me wrong, I still want to meet all of the goals on my original list at some point and they have not all been completely taken off the table. I just felt there were particular goals that were more immediately important than others. I can always revisit the others at another time, but I think it would foolish to put them all over my head right NOW. I am opting to "generalize" the list, both to leave wiggle-room and to not make my brain explode with pressure. I think this is more fair to me, and as a result I feel I'll be more likely to actually ACHIEVE these goals (and at a gradual pace, not overnight). I mean, that's the whole point of them, isn't it?

Some of these goals are ongoing and are things I'd like to work on over several years not just one, but I at least want to get the ball rolling on them. I have specific tactics in mind for some of these goals, but for many I'm leaving the specifics open; I have various ideas about how to achieve/work on them, but have yet to decide for sure which are best. Just as I am a work-in-progress, it is only fair to look at my goal-meeting as such.

In this spirit, I hereby present my (general) list of goals for 2011:

1. To relax - Generally speaking, I'm a worry-wart. I mull things over and over, look way too far ahead, obsess about silly details like what the people around me are thinking about me, what is going to happen with this or that, etc. I carry a lot of tension in my neck, jaw and shoulders and tie my stomach into indigestive knots. I can be a very anxious person and can actually make myself so nervous that my chest tightens, heart beats fast, breathing becomes laboured and my head hurts. Furthermore, I'm very impatient and can sometimes have a short fuse (e.g. I snap at my sister more than I should) so I need to work on stopping and checking myself before reacting.

The thing with my anxiety is, it's ALL in my head. It's how I REACT to the things around me rather than what is actually happening around me that causes this. And most of the time it's completely unwarranted. I want to learn to take things as they come, only worry about things when they happen (not before or after), be more spontaneous, laugh more, and think more positively.

Tactics to start: Contemplating giving meditation a try (someone turned me onto a 6 week workshop online that could be easy/good intro). Other than this, no specific tactics aside from practicing more positive/relaxed thinking. This is obviously something that will be tough to change but a mind-set IS something you can control if you really try and are patient, so those are two things I plan on doing (trying/being patient). This is an ongoing goal.

2. To lose weight - I know, I know EVERYONE wants to do this at the beginning of a new year, but this is an issue I've struggled with for a few years now. It's nothing new; I attempted to kick myself in the butt last year but only lost about 5lbs and completely fell off the wagon after about a month. This, of course, is the constant dance for overweight people - one step forward, two steps back. All you can do is pick yourself up, run after that wagon and get back on as many times as it takes. I'm certainly not excited about this goal and who really knows if I will stick with it this time either, but I have to try and a new year seems as good a time as any to start. Besides, I have a couple of things in my favour: One, I'm actually a fairly healthy person - I don't have any chronic health problems, food allergies or medications that add fuel to the fire. Two, I have a small frame, which means I can lose less weight and make a bigger difference to my physique (compared to taller, larger framed people). I don't need to make a HUGE life change in order to look and feel better - I just need to make some small daily changes, and stick with them beyond a few weeks.

Tactics to start: I would like to focus on losing 10 lbs to start, as I feel this will make a huge difference in how I look and feel and meeting this goal will motivate me to go further (though I should note it's not so much about the number on the scale as how I feel and how my clothes fit). To start, I'm simply going to limit my sugar and carb intake (I eat A LOT of this kind of stuff), focus on eating more veggies and protein, and get more regular exercise (I currently walk to work, but I also need to build muscle by working with weights a few times a week and doing more consistent activity (e.g. I sit all day at work so need to make more effort to get up and move outside work hours). I would like to get back into yoga (once p. week) if I can find an inexpensive, convenient class or some other workout class (I took Zumba a couple of times in the Fall and it was really fun). Until a get a new job (see 3rd goal below), I will be limited to exercise options that are either free or close to free, but I can always take walks or hikes, and watch workout dvd's or videos online. One thing I know I need is variety and flexibilty so I will most likely change up my workout routine each week/month depending on my schedule and options. Other tactics include: family friends are doing a weight loss challenge I am thinking of participating in. I would also like to become better at cooking and this will relate because I will be (ideally) eating more home-cooked meals. Other small daily gestures such as taking the stairs, drinking lots of water, and not buying junk when I get groceries will also help keep healthy eating habits going. This is an ongoing goal.

3. To make strides in my professional life - 2010 was an extremely frustrating and demeaning year in this area. Long story short is I have been struggling to find a job since last March with no luck and with constant refrains of "you don't have enough experience". Basically, my career is non-existent. The last half of 2010 I did a lot of reflecting, thinking, researching, talking to people, etc, to attempt to figure out what I want from this part of my life in the long-term, while conducting a job search in the background. So, technically this is a goal that has already been put into motion and I simply want to continue building on it in 2011. I have two job possibilities that I'm currently waiting on, so a lot depends on what happens with those. In any case this is something I really hope to make progress on in 2011 because having a good career is really important to me and I feel I've paid my dues.

Tactics to start: First order of business is to find a new full-time job (my current temp position does not pay enough - I'm struggling financially - not to mention it's completely devoid of challenge, creativity or flexibility, which are all things I need in a career). Once this happens, I will go from there, but I know one of the first things I will want to do is improve my financial stability (buy an RRSP, pay off debt, develop a strict budget, start putting money into savings). In addition, I haven't taken the possibility of further education off the table. I have a couple of options in mind (I wrote about my explorations in this area here and the advice really helped me come to some realizations), but am leaning towards a program I can complete part-time and through self-study so that I will be able to continue working full-time during completion. I would simply like to expand my skill-set and have a service I can begin offering on the side to make extra money and keep my career options open. This is an ongoing goal that will continue to morph based on developments over the next couple of months.

I have many other goals, both large and small, that I would love to achieve this year (paint and draw  more regularly, work harder at cultivating new friendships, build the blog), but I figured these three were enough to focus on, at least for now. Again, it's all about being realistic and not putting too much pressure on myself. Also, I know that if I improve in these three areas that the empowerment, increased self-esteem and improved physical/mental well-being I will (hopefully) experience will reverberate throughout all areas of my life and therefore make achieving some of the other smaller, more specific goals easier.

*EEK! Sorry for the long-windedness! Perhaps that's something I should work on in 2011 too...*

Here's to challenging yourself and always striving to grow and live fully!

What are your goals for 2011? Do you make new years resolutions?

Objects in Mirror are Closer than They Appear

I can't believe I've posted 110 times on this blog! I laid out a goal for myself to blog at least twice a week, and I stuck with the whole year! This is amazing for me because I never stick with anything so...go me!

As everyone, I've been taking these last few days of the year and doing some reflecting about where I've been and where I want to go. One thing I would like to work on in 2011 is this blog. To be honest, I'm not entirely happy with where the blog is now and I have a lot of plans to sort of "re-vamp" it. I feel like it grew consistently the first part of the year, but in the past few months growth has slowed down. I have a feeling a big reason for this is that I've had a lot of worries weighing on my mind since September and have been struggling with self-esteem issues on various fronts so I just haven't been as motivated and my mind has been a bit stifled creatively. In any case, I have plans to change this in the new year and I'm excited to make new commitments to this hobby in coming months (more on that later).

I don't know about anyone else, but I don't revisit my old blogs too often and it occured to me that's not really a good thing. It's important to go back and read past posts both to see how you have evolved in your writing, but also to remember some interesting thoughts and experiences you had (as it's very easy to forget about these in the rush to forge ahead).

So, in this spirit, and in the spirit of the end of 2010, I thought it would be fun to revisit my 2010 posts and pick out some of my favourites:

1. Turning over a new...stone (my first official post on my "new" blog!)
2. Today on the Crazy Files... (wherein I dissect the horrifying phenomenon that was Lindsay Lohan + Ungaro...sigh, poor thing. This post also heralded my first official comment!)
3. The Road is Long, with Many a Winding Turn (my post about a trip I booked to teach English in China, a trip I would have departed on in August but alas did not end up taking. Long story on why I didn't go and part of me is still disappointed, however part of me also feels it was the right decision; you can read up on my reasoning here. If you follow the blog at all, you will know that career has been a huge thorn in my side this past year. After I decided against China, I decided on Vancouver, then decided NOT to do that either, then went back and forth various times. Needless to say it's been a confusing and overwhelming year in terms of career decisions. I have felt very "stuck", particularly in the last half of the year, in what is commonly called the Quarter-Life Crisis. I'm still feeling this but on the bright side, I have learned a lot about myself and what I want through all this reflection. I'm getting closer and closer to realizing what I should do. Career is something that is really important to me, and so it will always be something I discuss on the blog. I'm just hoping that 2011 will be a better year for me and I'll finally find a career that has some longevity and gives me financial and emotional comfort. I'm really hoping to find my niche this year. I guess we will see...
4. Don't Worry, Be Happy (the story of Roger Ebert overcoming personal tragedy really spoke to me and amazed me, so I felt compelled to write about it; just goes to show that one shouldn't complain about trivial things because there are always people worse off than you).
5. The Shape of Things (this post touches on an issue that I feel very strongly about - body image, and particularly in the media, more specifically in the fashion industry. I'm a huge fashion fanatic, but this is one part of the industry that just really makes me angry, as you can see by the rant here and a subsequent one I wrote in response to an extremely vindictive Marie Claire article here.)
6. Trip to Boston (this was so great - Boston is somewhere I'd always wanted to visit, and this trip wasn't really planned; it was very spur of the moment because my mom was going for work and I decided to tag along - free hotel, woohoo! I was only there for 3 days but saw quite a bit and it just felt good to be traveling somewhere again. I really needed to get away from life at that point and just move, so it was really good for me. That's one of my favourite things about blogging too, that you have an "account" of your activities that you can go back and review, which is handy for someone like me with a bad memory!).
7. Motivation Mondays (remember how I said earlier that I never stick to things? Well, case in point with these posts, which were meant to record my attempt to lose weight and get more fit. I did a total of five MM posts, which is pretty good, but I only ended up losing about 5 lbs. I think I completely fell off the wagon when I took a weekend trip for work and just ate junk the entire time. Never went back to it, and I think I'm probably slightly bigger than I was then. Sigh. I have been doing better in the fitness department since September because I've been walking to work, but my diet is still pretty bad and I'm really self-conscious about my body. This is something I hope to continue working on in the new year {again, more on that later}. This is a major struggle that can't be tackled overnight, but I know for me a huge part of it is "mental" so if I can discipline myself in that way, I know I can find a plan that works for me).
8. I will gladly bow down to Candybear's cuteness (I know, wierd title, but read it and you'll get it. This was an exciting moment for me because it was the occasion of my first blog award! I know it doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things - it's not an Oscar or anything - and I certainly don't blog to get awards and recognition, but it just meant a lot that someone felt like my writing was good enough to think of me. It made me realize that this whole blog thing really isn't a waste of time and that you can actually motivate people and connect with them if you blog with integrity).
9. Blog Challenges (another exciting moment for me on the blog this year was getting to participate in a couple of great blog challenges - the first concerned a global movement called Be The Change for Pets. I donated a large box of supplies to a local shelter and blogged about it, and it was very rewarding. I can't wait for them to do more challenges so I can help out more! In fact, I'm always on the look-out for animal-related blog activities to participate in as it's an issue that is really important to me. The second challenge was one put on by the Downtown Halifax Business Commission right here in my own city. I was given a $100 Visa card to spend anywhere I wished in downtown Halifax then blogged about it here. Wow, what a fun challenge! I mean free money is always great, but I'm also a big proponent of buying and supporting local businesses so it felt great to be a part of promoting my community and what it has to offer. Plus, I got to meet a bunch of local bloggers that I wasn't aware of, and with whom I hope to continue building relationships with).
10. Canada is Cooler Than You (I was really excited when Alison asked me to guest post on this series, writing from an East Coast point of view. Even though I talk a lot about living and visiting other places, I am a very proud Canadian, and I'm specifically a very proud East Coast Canadian. Non-Canadians won't really understand the "regionalism" that exists here and how profound it is, but the different areas of our country are extremely diverse {which is one of the things I love about it}. It was fun to reflect on why I love my home province/region, and hear reflections from other areas. Plus, it was the first time someone asked me to guest post, and I felt very privelaged to be given the opportunity by such a great blogger).

Wow, lots of posts I enjoyed this year so it was hard to narrow it down! But I think these best capture the scope of my year and the more profound issues that affected my life. I recommend going back and reviewing your old posts, if you haven't already, as it can be very eye-opening! It has definitely reminded me how far I've come in some ways, and in what areas I need to go further.

I can't believe this year is almost over!

It's No Surprise to Me, I'm My Own Worst Enemy

I've been thinking a lot lately about fear and what holds me back. This year has been a real struggle for me on a personal level - I've learned a lot but I've also felt the most lost and overwhelmed that I've ever felt in my life. When I was younger, I always felt like I had some sort of direction and trajectory in life and I always seemed to know what path would be a good one for me to take. However, I feel that sometime in the past 6 months or so, the rug got pulled out from under me and I was left on my back, gasping for air and disoriented. I dropped my compass somewhere along the way and have been desperately digging through the brush to try and find it with no luck (got stabbed by a lot of thorns though).

And the thing is, though the main precursor to this personal struggle is career, this loss of direction is not really rooted in any particular event or experience. No one "did" anything to me and no major tragedy occured in my life per se. No one SNATCHED the compass from my hand and threw it out of my reach. I dropped it. I lost it (albeit unintentionally).

And somehow, somewhere I let the disorientation and feelings of failure take over and hold me back from going as far as I can go.

I've never been a confident person - in fact, I've always struggled with shyness and self-consciousness and I've always been a slave to my fears that I wouldn't be good enough or that I don't have enough to offer. I've never been what I would call a "fighter". I've always tried and pushed myself, but most of the time only so far. It's not often that I've pushed farther than is comfortable or farther than others around me who I perceived as more this and better at that than me.

I have come a long way in the self-respect department in the past few years, and as such my confidence has certainly improved, but I'm still not as brave as I'd like to be.

Luckily I always had opportunities come my way and enough people to believe in me that it always seemed I'd be going places. This is no longer the case. This year I either found myself with no one to believe in me and give me a chance or people to believe in me a LITTLE bit but not as much as they do in someone else. All of a sudden I was (and am) in the position of having to believe in myself that much more in order to fight to make others believe in me.

And I realized I don't necessarily have that in me. Or if I do, it's buried too far down for me to see and grasp clearly. I started out fighting but as the rejections piled up and rewards for my efforts seemed further and further afield I didn't want to fight anymore. I curled up into a ball, pulled the blankets over my head and decided if I wasn't going to get anywhere than why bother trying?!

So, now here I sit.

This isn't a sob story; this isn't meant to be a treatise entitled "oh poor me" to incite pity. This is meant to illustrate what my mind-set was up until about a week ago. You see, sometime in the past week between reflecting and talking to people and reading and researching, I realized that for at least a couple of months I have settled into a passive state. Subconsciously, I became so fed up with trying and not getting anywhere and thinking and coming up with no logical conclusions (at least not ones that lasted) that I decided to give up. I said "screw it" to life and have been settling for less than I deserve and want.

Well that stops RIGHT NOW.

The real issue is (and one that has affected me my entire life) that I'm my own worst enemy. No one holds me back from going as far as I can go except ME. Sure, opinions and words of others can affect my self-confidence, but for the most part it's my OWN opinions and thoughts that affect me the most. I am the one that lets the feelings of doubt and drowning take over and I am the one that expects the most from me.

And I guess that's what it all comes down to, isn't it? Expectations. I (and I think probably lots of others too) place ones on myself that are very very high; higher than anyone else will ever place them. So, I guess I'm feeling so lost and frustrated, not because I disappointed other people and didn't live up to their standards, but because I disappointed myself. I'm disappointed that I gave up and that I let a few roadblocks stump me and prevent me from moving forward. I may not be the bravest or most confident, but I still pride myself on being a tough, perserverant, mature, level-headed person so I'm not happy that I fell through on these character strengths.

So what if I got a little lost? So what if no one sees what I can offer and won't give me a chance to prove what I can do? I can prove my worth to myself by just DECIDING on a plan, forging a new path and striding along it confidently. At least I'll be doing something - I won't be sitting back anymore and letting life happen to me and strike me down. I'll be moving forward, which is something I've always been good at.

I still feel lost and overwhelmed, and being brave is something I still need a lot of practice in but I feel a lot less lost and overwhelmed having come to these realizations, and having come up with a short-term plan. I feel I have grabbed back a bit more control (and really this is appropriate because aren't WE the ones that have the most control in our lives?!). Each time I am brave and conquer my fear I feel less afraid.

I am slowly finding bearings again - they weren't the same bearings I had before (seems as though I found someone else's compass in the dirt) but at least they are bearings. I have a new direction, and one that I chose myself, FOR myself.

Now that I'm out of my own way, the path is clear (or at least a hell of a lot clearer than it was!)

What is holding you back from moving forward? Are you YOUR own worst enemy? How do you move forward when you're feeling "stuck" and lost?