Boston Strong

Unless you have been living under a rock, you heard about the horrible bombings at the Boston Marathon last week and likely were following the manhunt for the two suspects.

In what may be a case of the worst timing ever, the boy and I had a vacation pre-scheduled in Boston for last week and we had the extra bad luck of booking a hotel in Watertown - scene of the suspect standoff and eventual capture. Our hotel was, in fact, less than 1/2 mile away from where the suspect was found in the backyard boat, so subsequently we were locked down for most of the day Friday and entertained by a constant symphony of sirens and helicopter noise, tv news vans and reporters outside. Since we only had barely two days in Boston anyway, this meant that over half of our vacation was lost and we came home in a bit of a haze, both from the insanity of the events we witnessed and were smack-dab in the middle of, and due to the fact that most of the previous 4 days were spent either driving or watching the news.

Yes, I am complaining - it sucked! But that's not the point of this post. The point is the experience oddly made me love Boston even more.

This was my third visit to the city. Before this, I could tell you that I loved Boston but could not necessarily pinpoint the exact reasons why. Sure, there is undeniably great history and architecture, parks and museums, restaurants and shopping. In a way, the city reminds me of a large-scale version of my hometown of Halifax - a city with the down-to-earthiness of a small town, a working class/sea-faring past and the character that comes along with that.

However, now I understand. It's the people that make this city great. They are warm and welcoming and will talk to you as if you're an old friend even if it's your first conversation. Many would take the clothes off their back and give them to you if you really needed them. They are there for each other and value hard work. At the same time, they have an edge - they are a down-home, potty-mouthed, hard-drinking lot who, basically, don't take shit (I mean this with love).

Both sides of this mixed character were highlighted during the hysteria of the bombings and the aftermath. The selflessness, support, and strength of the citizens warmed my heart - countless people organized donations and events to show solidarity to the victims and their loved ones, to say 'we are with you and you are in our prayers'. Then the tenacity and ruthlessness that was displayed during the hunt for the suspects left me in awe and made me want to pump my fist in the air and say, 'yeah! You go!'. They were not going to let these men get away with this and I loved that commitment. I loved the fact that they did not 'fuck around' but that they did so in a way that put the safety and well-being of everyone in the city first and foremost.

It's that mix - the hard and soft, the tough and loving - that makes the people of Boston great. Sure, our vacation was kind of ruined, but I never once felt concerned for my safety or that the situation was not under control. Did I hate being cooped up in our hotel room all day and having to miss the Red Sox game (which was scheduled for Friday but subsequently postponed)? Of course! But I appreciated the care and precautions taken. I felt comforted that the job would get done and done right.

There are so many things being written about these incidents - so many opinions and analyses floating around out there, and I don't want to add to that pile. Honestly, I kind of just want to move on from this, as I am sure we all do (although I should reiterate that 'move on' does not mean 'forget'). I just felt compelled, in my own small way, to thank the people of Boston for being, well, them. For being strong and loving and, in true Boston fashion, giving the finger to those that tried to ruin their lives.

Thank you for making great what little vacation we ended up having.

mad-derision

Well, it seems the Material Girl (although she's far from being a Girl now) is who everyone is talking about this morning. See there was a little football game on last night called the Superbowl...

The grand entrance of Her Royal Empress of the Roman Empire

...don't ask me! I only watched for the anthem (Kelly Clarkson KILLED it), the commercials and the halftime show - I really couldn't tell ya what went down on the field. I can't say I was excited about seeing the halftime show, but I was intrigued. In the end it was only "meh" for me. This is fitting considering I'm basically "meh" about Madonna in general. 

She's a very polarizing person* (at least judging by the live tweets of her show last night) so it's fitting that my opinion of her is also split. I don't dislike Madonna but I don't particularly like her either. 

I think I like the Madonna of the 80's and 90's better than the one of the 2000's. I respect her as a powerful woman who has forged her own way in a fickle industry (partially through a bunch of shrewd business decisions) and as someone who has blazed a trail for a lot of other female pop stars. In a way, she is the original female pop star and she definitely deserves props for that. She was always pushing the envelope and being provocative and I give her props for that too. 

However, it seems like she has either lost that spark of provocation or she is trying too hard to continue to be provocative in a world where provocation is almost mainstream. You have to try pretty darn hard to be provocative nowadays because it has all been done before. Being political and pushing buttons may have caught attention 20 years ago, but it is sort of old news now.

Where is a trailblazer to go when most of the trails have already been blazed? You end up circling back on trails you went down a long time ago and repeating them and suddenly you are behind all the others rather than in front. All of a sudden you are no longer relevant and you actually are kind of a joke. 

Source

This is how I feel about Madonna - I feel like she's almost become a caricature of herself, playing a part.

And I would probably have more respect for her if the music she has produced in the past few years was actually good. So much of it is the same ol' pop/dance tracks we've heard a million times before with guest spots from hot, young artists in an attempt to give them more hipness (almost as if they KNOW the song is not hip otherwise). Nothing special. Madonna's best music? Her 80's and 90's stuff...the songs she produced in her hey-day. Her music has always been pop, but at least her old stuff had some "spice" to it - some uniqueness and substance.

Aside from the music, it seems like she has become more and more egotistical over the years as well - attention-hogging with silly antics like her promotion of Kabbala, parading her daughter as arm candy around the social circuit, and vanity project after vanity project (and continuously going around talking about how great each of these projects is). And don't give me that "oh she's a legend, she's earned the right to brag" crap. Just because you are one of the most famous people in the world and are a pop culture legend doesn't mean you have the RIGHT to act like a jerk. 

I am so sick of the argument about her looking so good for her age too - she absolutely does (there's no denying that) but that is also not an excuse to be BLAH. Just because you are 53 and look 33 doesn't mean you get a free ride to "do whatever you want-ville". I'm sorry but I don't care how old you are or how good you look in thigh-high boots, you still have to bring something more to the table to impress me and make me look up to you.

Anyway, bottom line is I don't dislike Madonna, but I don't particularly like her either. And I thought her Superbowl show was...not bad - again, didn't love it, didn't hate it. I think I would have enjoyed it more if she had just stayed home and let M.I.A., Nicki Minaj, Cee-Lo and LMFAO take over.

Regardless of the Superbowl show, I think if Madonna actually showed more personality, uniqueness, humility and some of the old spark she used to have, maybe I wouldn't be so 'in the middle'. 

*of course, I'm sure she enjoys being polarizing

las vacaciones

A couple of weeks ago, the boy and I attended a travel expo here in Halifax - we had heard about it from friends and had been thinking about booking a trip down south for March, so we thought we would check it out. We weren't expecting to find a deal, but you never know (that's pretty much my motto in life - I think I say it at least a few times every day)!

Well, it turned out to be a great plan, because we did (unexpectedly) get a great deal and booked a trip to Mexico!! We got our preferred week, preferred area, and preferred star rating - ALL within our preferred budget! How amazing is that? (See? You never know).

So, from March 16th to 23rd we will be enjoying the sun, sand and beautiful culture and history of Mexico at the Occidental Grand Xcaret resort!

 

To say we are excited is an understatement - we both love to travel, and have done quite a bit of traveling together already, but have never flown anywhere together (and the furthest out of the country we have been together is New England). This trip is particularly special also because the boy is half Mexican (his father - who he has never met - is Mexican) and he lived in Mexico for a few years when he was a kid. It will be neat to visit a place that he has personal ties to.

Bonus: He is fluent in Spanish, so I am slowly learning some words and phrases that I can use while down there (in addition to the few I remember from my University intro Spanish class). My pronunciation is good, but my accent is horrible - we Maritimers and our hard R's are not a good match to the fluidity and softness of the Spanish consonant. Ah well, at least I'm trying, right?

For those of you that follow the news, you may be aware that there have been a lot of instances of violence against tourists in Mexico in the past few years. There is a lot of negative talk surrounding travel to the country because of these incidents, and many people don't understand why we would ever want to go there. Normally I don't feel the need to justify my decisions to anyone else, but the fact that many of the complaints out there are either extremely ignorant (i.e. not based on any actual personal experience or research) and broad-based, frustrates me. So, I just feel the need to address some of this negativity:

- 75% of the violence in Mexico occurs in the Northern states (this is where most of the drug/gang activity is and many of the cities in this area are on travel advisory lists - translation: you are risking your life going there). I would never visit the Northern states for that reason. The area we are going to - Playa del Carmen, which is on the eastern coast and many many miles away from the Northern region - is one of the safest areas in the whole country. I have a friend who backpacked with her boyfriend in this region for 3 weeks and never had any problems.

- The onus for personal safety is just that: personal. It falls to each and every traveler to "travel smart" - and that goes for EVERY location you travel. When traveling in a foreign place you should never do things like: visit remote areas at night or alone (don't wander anywhere alone or at night, more to that), get involved in confrontations, accept rides from people you don't know, or walk around carrying lots of cash or wearing expensive jewelry or clothing. I'm sorry but if you do any of these things, you are basically asking to be robbed or attacked. I'm not saying that anyone who has been robbed or attacked deserves for that to happen (that is OF COURSE not true); I'm just saying that we each have a responsibility to be safe and smart when we travel and if you choose not to do this, you are putting yourself at risk.

- Further to the above point, the onus is also on the traveler to educate themselves about where they are going. DO YOUR RESEARCH before visiting a place - I really can't stress that point enough. Read reviews and news online both about the region you are visiting, and the specific hotels and sites and if there are consistent warnings about a particular place, don't go there.

**Even if you prepare, is there still a possibility that something may happen to you? Of course. But the possibility of something bad happening exists everywhere at every moment of the day - the point is, how LIKELY is it to happen? Most things are possible, but this doesn't mean they are probable. You can't completely eliminate the possibility of anything happening, but the more you prepare yourself and the more safety precautions you take, the lower your chances of getting into trouble.

- It isn't fair to paint one entire country with a bad brush because of the issues caused by a few - the boy and I have seen comments all over the internet talking about how Mexico is a dirty, disgusting place that should be bombed, etc, and these kind of comments are completely unwarranted. Mexico may have its problems, but so does every country. And I'm not saying that there are not places in Mexico that are in dire need of a "clean-up", but for every area like this there is a beautiful place that is a perfect tourist destination. Any Mexican people I have met are completely lovely, and I am sure many of them are not happy about or proud of the negative incidents occurring in their own backyard. Most of them are honest people, just trying to make a living - like you and me - and this can be said about any country. 

I try not to get too "ranty" on this blog very often, but if it's one thing I can't stand it's ignorance. I can respect comments based on research or first-hand experience, but not those based on only rumour or gossip. I am very sorry that there are people that have had bad experiences traveling in Mexico, and I hope that they find peace and compensation from their experiences. But I am also very sorry that the negative press seems to be the main and constant focus within dialogues about the country (and many other countries). There is so much wonderfully vibrant history and culture there so it pains me to see such a fixation on its flaws.

I just hope that they can find a way to fix the problems that they have and make the entire country safe again - for everyone. In the meantime, I will gladly visit (albeit only certain areas) and encourage others to do so. 

Viva las vacaciones!

Keeping Up With the NYRs

Found here

New Year's Resolutions (aka NYR's) are overrated. Lets be honest - the ones most of us set for ourselves are so lofty and unrealistic (both in general and in relation to our own lifestyles) that we are basically setting ourselves up to fail. When is the last time you set a NYR and actually stuck to it (for more than a week), let alone actually accomplished it fully? In addition to being unrealistic, most NYR's are fairly broad as well (lose weight, be more patient) so sometimes it's hard to know if you have actually accomplished it or not!

I am certainly speaking for myself here. In the past I have shot myself in the foot by setting major goals for myself in the wake of the post-new-year/holiday push of energy and self-examination many times (remember this WAY long-winded post from last January?*).

I am so over that.

Don't get me wrong, I am not over setting goals for yourself or pushing yourself to be better. I will always be a huge proponent of that. It's important to examine your life on a regular basis and "clean house", i.e. eliminate or improve on the things that are holding you back. However, I will never be a proponent of pressuring yourself by setting expectations that are so high that it's only a matter of time before I throw them out the window and decide that I am lazy and flawed.

I have realized (the hard way) over time that setting manageable goals is the key. Be honest with yourself about your habits, your inclinations, your personality and what you tend to prioritize in life. Only you can know how much you can manage and what will work for your life/what won't so it's time to get real about that. Who cares what Suzie Underpants over there can manage (or can SEEM to manage - KEY!) - what can YOU manage? What works best for YOU?

So, what works for me? Setting a short list of specific, short-term, realistic goals - ones that are not so specific that I feel restricted, but not so broad that I do not have any clue as to where to start. Activities that are focused around jump-starting new habits, that will hopefully (eventually - no timeline) lead to achieving greater goals (rather than going for the greater goal right out of the gate and ending up trampled by it) is what works for me.

With all this in mind, here are some things I am going to work on in coming weeks:

1. Eat smaller portions and replace carbs with protein/vitamins whenever possible

2. Spend one hour per week on a creative or artistic activity 

(non-writing, e.g. painting, drawing, craft)

3. Go on a hike with the boy once per week

4. Continue to work on getting better quality freelance writing work (I realize this is rather broad, but I have various tactics I plan on trying out to help work toward this goal - including some changes to how and what I write on this blog - stay tuned! - don't need to go into more detail here)

That's it. Sure, I have lots of plans for the year, lots of things I would like to accomplish that are bigger and broader, but those are things that I can tackle when the time is right. They are not urgent priorities (and, in fact, I have to wait for some other things to fall into place before tackling them) and can be kept in the back of my mind until they are. The goals that will be at the front of my mind are only the above. If I can more-or-less stick with them for a few months until they become habit, then I will be happy. When that happens, perhaps I will choose five different primary goals to work on. Or maybe I'll take these ones one step further. 

Who knows. I'll see what happens and how I feel. After all, the power is in my hands, not in theirs.

What do you think of NYRs? Did you make any for this year?

*Speaking of which, related to #  above, I am going to work on being more concise this year. No, seriously.

It's Only the R-Word

Retard (as defined here): noun, a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: e.g. a hopeless social retard.

I had an entirely different blog topic lined up for discussion today, and I threw it out the window the minute I read this post.

Rob's post further stewed thoughts that were already in my brain about the same subject ever since I caught the above PSA on tv last week (featuring Jane Lynch and Lauren Potter from Glee). The campaign is called Spread the Word to End the Word and I think it is one that everyone should be discussing. As the campaign website states:

"When they were originally introduced, the terms “mental retardation” or “mentally retarded” were medical terms with a specifically clinical connotation; however, the pejorative forms, “retard” and “retarded” have been used widely in today’s society to degrade and insult people with intellectual disabilities. Additionally, when “retard” and “retarded” are used as synonyms for “dumb” or “stupid” by people without disabilities, it only reinforces painful stereotypes of people with intellectual disabilities being less valued members of humanity." (from here)

I think it is safe to say that we have all, at one time or another, used the word "retard" or "retarded", either to describe a person or circumstance. I admit it - I have certainly used it in the past as a way to describe something as ridiculous. I am not proud of that. It is never a word I have been proud to use - I have always stopped myself briefly when I felt it getting ready to leave my mouth and sometimes would adjust my speech. But sometimes I would let it slip out anyway. It's not like I ever received retribution from anyone for using the word. It has become such a normal descriptor in our language that even I, someone who is intimately connected to a person with an intellectual disability, can say use it with barely a second thought.

That's right - I have a family member with an intellectual disability. My sister to be exact, and she has Down's Syndrome. Since my sister is five years older than me, there has never been a time that she has not been in my life, so to say that I am comfortable and supportive of people with disabilities is an understatement.

However, even if you are accustomed to living with Down's or a similar condition that closely there is this sense of discomfort. A sense that you are different from other people with "normal" siblings. That when you tell people about your situation, there inevitably arises a wall between you and them; a wall of misunderstanding, maybe mixed with a pinch of pity or perhaps even respect.

I don't want pity or extra respect because of my situation and neither does she. I just want to be seen like every other family. I want my sister to be seen as a person - a sister, a daughter, an employee, a human being - not just a condition. Not just a face or body shape, a voice or an attitude. Not an IQ level or a community services charity case.

When we go out to the mall or out to eat, I want the people (kids AND adults) who see that she is different but are not sure why to stop staring at her (newsflash: she notices and it makes her uncomfortable). I want to live in a world where she can have the things she so desperately wants - to get married, to have kids, to go to University - things that my mother and I know she will never have, but can't bring ourselves to admit as such. I want to live in a world where she isn't relegated to "special" groups (even though these groups provide wonderful support and resources for her that I am very grateful for), special times, special places, special tasks. A world where she isn't "special", she's just normal.

Sometimes I even want to live in a world where my sister is not so high functioning, so that she wouldn't know that she is different.

But we don't live in that kind of world. We live in a world where my sister is considered "different" and is treated as such by those who don't understand. We live in a world where the word "retard" is used for Hollywood punchlines that make entire theatres erupt into snorts of laughter. Racial slurs are no longer considered acceptable, so why is this? As Sue and Becky say in the video, it is hate speech no matter who it is directed to. It is just as shameful to refer to someone as "retard" as it is to refer to someone as "nigger".

This isn't a perfect world, and it won't be anytime soon. I don't necessarily want it to be either. But, we can make small changes. We can start to think about the context and true meaning of words before they leave our mouth. We can take a moment to stop and wonder whether or not the word we want to use is appropriate and change our language accordingly. I know that I am going to start doing this more, and I will encourage others to as well.

Think about it. A word may be a small thing to you, but it could be a very big thing to someone else.

I know one thing - I will NOT be going to see The Change-Up. Now, I am not some close-minded person who cringes at offensive movies - I am actually very open-minded, believe in pushing the envelope in culture, and am not very easily offended. But I also feel it is possible to go too far. It's too bad because the movie looked funny from the previews and I really like the actors in it, but call me crazy - I would prefer to not hear the comment "this one looks a little Downsy" in person (reading it offended me enough).

I also am not suggesting that you don't go see it - I am not about to start a "Boycott The Change Up" campaign or anything. But if you must, I will encourage you to do one thing - when you hear Ryan's character's comment about the baby, please don't laugh. I realize that might be tough, but think about how tough it is for someone who actually lives with Down's every single day. Then you might not think the comment is so funny.

As Rob says in his post: "'Downsy'"? That's vile. If you laughed at that, please go live in a hut somewhere, far far away from actual human people."

Learn more about the STWTETW campaign at r-word.org. Support the campaign by following them on Twitter or liking their Facebook page.

It's a TeamBuyer Life for Me: Part 2

Missed Part 1? Read up here! I was really looking forward to Part 2 of my adventure because it involved something I have always wanted to do: whale watching. Yes, I grew up in Nova Scotia and have never been whale watching. I know, crazy right? What can I say, just never had the opportunity!


Anyway, the boy and I finally did and we headed down to the waterfront on a Sunday morning armed with our TeamBuy coupon! Luckily, the weather was beautiful - bright and sunny - and really, that is half of the enjoyment of the experience. This is one activity you do NOT want to do on a foggy day.  

Me and Theodore Tugboat! Views from the boat as we sailed out, and me and the boy

I was really impressed with the staff on the boat - from the moment we left the wharf they provided friendly commentary about Halifax and its marine heritage. They told us facts I didn't even know about (yes, as I already said I grew up here)! The whole trip really made me look at my city with new eyes - literally, because it is rare to see it from that view in the water, and figuratively through all the little-known information I picked up. 

For example, I had no idea that George's Island was the home to a variety of snake species, including one that cannot be found anywhere in the world! Weird, huh? Especially considering it is an island...I mean, how did the snakes get there? Maybe I'm a dummy, but that was my first thought. (For those of you that have no idea what George's Island is, you can find out here). They also told us that the largest lobster ever caught was found just off our coast in the 1970's - he weighed in at a whopping 44 lbs! Eek. They also brought up a lobster trap at one point and told us interesting facts and stories about lobsters and their history in NS, and fed some seagulls on the way back. 

It was nice that they offered distractions other than the whales because we did not actually see any. Not one. This was disappointing, but honestly I had heard from a couple of friends that they had not seen any whales either so I expected it. However, considering other people told me they did not see whales either, I am guessing actual whale sightings are few and far between on these tours and that is pretty bad considering that's the whole point of the tour.

We did see the backs of a few porpoises, so the watching was not entirely wasted, but the periods where the staff were not providing commentary or activities were sort of boring. If it were not for the beautiful day, which allowed us lovely views of the shore and other boats to enjoy during staff breaks, this boat ride would not have been worth the cost. I realize you can't conjure creatures from the deeps at will, and whether or not whales show themselves is completely up to luck for the most part, but for $40 I would be expecting to see more than I did.

Various views of the land from the boat

It was cool to see the city from the water, and the entire coast outward to the sea. It was a new perspective, which is sometimes nice. The top photo in the collage below is the main part of the Halifax waterfront (and probably the view you see most on postcards for the city - you can see part of the MacDonald Bridge on the right side). The glass-front building in the middle photo is our new Farmer's Market, which is a beautiful building! The whole Seaport area is great for shopping and walking. As you can see in the bottom photo, there was a huge cruise ship in dock the day we went to sea - since Halifax is such a major port, we get a lot of cruise ships visiting here.

The sky looked beautiful with big fluffy white clouds and bright, vivid blue. I took lots of photos of the sky!

Even though we didn't see any whales, it was still an enjoyable boat ride for a summer afternoon.  I would recommend Murphy's for the great staff alone. Just don't take this tour expecting to see whales because you will probably end up disappointed.


*All photos by me

It's a TeamBuyer Life for Me: Part 1

I was recently asked to participate in a fun promotion to celebrate the one-year anniversary of TeamBuy in my home city of Halifax. Nicknamed, "Choose Your Own Adventure", the idea behind the promotion was to spend a "day in the life of a TeamBuyer" by visiting two local TeamBuy partnering businesses using a special coupon, and report back on the experience. There were some great options for food and fun, but I narrowed it down to two things I had never done before but have been intrigued by for a while. 

The first part of my adventure included waffles with fruit and drinks at Ray's Haus cafe. I am not going to lie, even though TeamBuy pretty much had me at "waffles", I did not have high hopes for this place because it is only a few months old and I heard less-than-stellar reports from others who had visited. However, I still tried to go in with an open mind.

I visited Ray's on a Saturday morning around 11am, not sure if they would even be open (could not find any hours for them online, including on their facebook page - I wrote on their wall asking but no one got back to me - NOTE to businesses - don't use social media if you're not going to USE it, know what I mean?)

*endrant*

Anyway, the entrance to Ray's looked a little weird - you have to walk up a cement ramp, which makes you feel like you are heading into a parking garage, and the cement patio area outside looked a tad messy with various pieces of furniture and wood strewn around. This was disappointing, because the patio area is huge and (I think) has great potential. The way it is now, the potential is being wasted, especially since it is mid-summer and therefore prime patio weather. Their location sort of works against them in a few different ways (not in a main cafe district, placed between apartment buildings and an office building above a concrete parking area, a bit tucked away from the front of the street, right down the street from another German-style cafe) but sprucing up the outside to make it more inviting might help counteract that.

I was pleasantly surprised when we entered, as the inside looked much better. The decor has a warm and cozy feeling to it - one corner with a couple of couches looked like a particularly great place to sit and read with a coffee. 

Check out his page here. 

The place was deserted and we were momentarily confused, but someone soon appeared and apologized. He was very friendly and took our orders promptly. We had a coupon for waffles and drinks so we didn't have to choose from the menu and frankly I was sort of glad. The "menu" consists of vague items written on poster board pieces pasted over the counter, and I hate to be mean but it was not very professional looking. The writing was small and hard to read - I realize professionally made signs are expensive, but what about a chalkboard? I know I am nitpicking, but with today's readily available technology, I really don't understand why businesses use handwritten signs. Type something up, for goodness sake! It doesn't have to be art-school-worthy! Just readable and clear.

*again with the ranting - I'll shut up now and get to the waffles

The waffles we had were...not bad. The presentation was good, and the whipped cream with bits of chocolate sauce on the side added a nice sweetness. They were nothing to write home about, but not bad either. They were a bit heavy for me because I felt quite full after only one, and the texture was a bit tough. Not sure if that is due to the batter or the way they were made. It felt more like dessert than breakfast, and I think given the time of day I was looking more for the latter. My coffee, however, was quite good and had a very intriguing name - Highlander Grogg. I was impressed that they had their own House Blend.

The whole experience was...nice, but kind of lackluster. The guy was really friendly and we felt welcome, but there was something missing in the food department. My opinion is pretty matched by others I have talked to about Ray's and from these collected thoughts I have concluded that it could be very much improved either with time or by making some small changes. Improving their cooking techniques, and changing their focus from waffles/food to coffee are a couple of changes I might suggest. I definitely see it as more of a coffee shop/gathering place than a german waffle place, so marketing themselves more in that direction could be beneficial. I feel it might even do well with a license (The Wired Monk is a place I think does this really well here), especially considering the potential patio space.

I'm not a business-person, but that is just the "vibe" I get. I think they have a great start but need a little more tweaking. I always like to cut new places some slack because sometimes it can take trial and error to get the "kinks" worked out. I will try Ray's again in the future and hope that they have polished up a bit.

Thank you so much TeamBuy! Stay tuned for Part 2 of our adventure...whale watching!

I wish I could say I took this photo on our trip, but alas it is from here. Come back later for the whole story!

No, I'm a Weather-Girl

I have heard a lot of chatter lately about high school reunions - a couple of bloggers I follow have attended theirs, and I heard an ad on the radio the other day for the 30 year reunion of a high school in my area.

This got me thinking about my own high school reunion, which could potentially be coming up somewhat soon, considering my 10-year mark will be in 2013 (wow, hard to believe). I am really torn about whether or not I would want to go, as I assume most people are.

On the one hand, it would be really fun to see what everyone looks like, find out what happened to people that were such a big part of your life at one time, and reminisce about the past. It would be like taking a little temporary time-warp back to a time when life seemed really complicated, but was actually quite simple and carefree compared to post-high school standards.

However, in the age of Facebook and Twitter, I feel like I AM up to date about the lives of many people I went to high school with. Even though I don't talk  to them often (or at all - shameful, I know), I can hear about their major life events through status updates and photo albums.

Also, I would not say that high school was necessarily a completely enjoyable experience for me. I enjoyed it, for sure, and I had some great times but I also have painful memories associated with particularly the last couple of years because of some emotional problems I was going through. I would be lying if I said I didn't have regrets about that time - part of me feels that if I could go back in time and make different choices that I might be in a very different place in my life right now. Also, I was not one of the most popular people - I had friends and was involved in lots of activities, but I was also very shy and got good marks so most of the popular kids thought I was a goody-goody, if they even noticed me at all. I had a few core friends, but was sort of friends with various people in different groups, plus I tended to be friends with people no one else would be friends with because I felt bad for them. All of this worked together to make me a bit of an outsider.

But I have taken enough life experience under my belt in the last 8 years that I know that regrets are not really worth it, and there are no guarantees in life no matter what choices you make. Besides, even though I was a very shy, self-conscious person, there was also this streak in me that didn't give a shit about what the popular kids thought of me. Obviously I DID care to an extent, but for the most part I accepted and was happy with my position.

So, I guess in that way, part of me really doesn't CARE about my reunion. What point is there REALLY in getting together with these people for one night and then going back to our respective lives, nothing changed?

I feel like, in a way, reunions are way overrated. I feel like a lot of people go so that they can prove to people that used to make fun of them or that once said or did something mean to them that they are really awesome people now. I feel like a lot of people see it as a competition in general - Who is married and who is single (or *egads* divorced)? Who has the coolest job? Who is the richest? Who has the hottest spouse? Who has visited the most countries? Lets be honest - other people's misfortunes often make us feel better about our own lives.

All of that is SOOOOO lame and proof that regressing back to high school is not necessarily a good thing. So much about high school is drama and status and I feel like getting together with people you went to high school with could possibly transport you back to that environment again, wherein you all sort of morph into the roles you once played.

This all being said, I will likely go to my reunion (if they have one) if for no other reason than curiosity. And I am sure most people go to their reunions in a mature frame of mind and see it only as a chance to catch up, nothing more, and my wonderings above about the negatives of these events are completely silly. I wonder if it depends on the type of reunion it is - for example, I feel like the 10-year reunion is far enough away from the high school experience that you all have grown a lot, but at the same time it is still close enough that some of the insecurities are more likely to reappear (or still be there)? I don't know! What do you think?

Would you go to your high school reunion? Or, on the other hand, HAVE you gone to one? What was it like? What do you think about high school reunions in general? I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this subject...

Happy Hump Day!

PS: Have you seen Romy and Michele's High School Reunion? It's really dumb but funny. I love Lisa Kudrow so much - she's so good at playing the 'flake'. AAAAND did you know that they made a follow-up in 2005 called "Romy and Michele: In the Beginning", starring Katherine Heigl?! That's right, they went there. The funniest thing is they made it for ABC Family (? Yes, because I would want my young children watching scantily-clad, ditzy women stumble around?). I would love to watch that sometime just to see how BAD it really is (oh, you know it's bad). 

This is one of my favourite parts of the movie. I love two things very much about this clip: #1) That the girl in the peach suit standing next to annoying-weather-girl-that-I-want-to-punch-in-the-face  is Pam from True Blood, and #2) Michele's explanation of her Post-It glue recipe. Genius. 

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Well, I'm back from vacation! Well, I was actually back yesterday but considering yesterday was a holiday in Canada and we had been driving since the previous morning, I was pretty zonked yesterday and not up for doing much of anything productive. Today is the 1st official day back to "real-life"...

I had a lovely vacation though! It was just so nice to get away, have a change of scenery and make our own schedule for a few days. This trip was an interesting one in many ways* - of course, the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of the places we visited were all interesting - but it was also a milestone of sorts because it was the first extended trip that the boy and I took together.

I always say that if you really want to get to know someone and learn whether or not you are truly compatible with each other, you should take a trip with them. When traveling, you can see sides of a person that you might never see interacting with them on a day-to-day basis. You could know someone for decades, talk to them on the phone or see them every single day, and exchange many deep, dark secrets and still be surprised at how they act and how you get along when you travel together.

Generally when you travel, the full gambit of emotions tends to come out at one time or another. Travel is tiring and it dehydrates you, plus you are eating, getting up, going to sleep and doing other things at different times (and sometimes in different ways or in a different order) than you normally would, meeting new people, being thrust into completely new situations and generally experiencing unfamiliarity wherever you turn.

This, of course, is one of the great things about travel (and one of my favourite things about it) but it can also wreak havoc on your disposition. Regardless of where you are going and when, the actual "traveling" part of the travel is not the most enjoyable - it's normally very tiring and tedious (being squeezed into a tiny airplane seat or standing in endless line-ups when flying? Sitting in traffic and staring down seemingly endless stretches of highway, dealing with reckless morons and countless detours when driving? Anyone?). I personally hate the actual "traveling" part, and just can't wait to GET to where I'm going. It depends of course, but generally I wish I could just teleport myself to wherever I want to go and skip all the bull.

Given the fact the traveling can often be tiring and tedious, it often means that either you, your traveling companion or both end up cranky, irritable, moody, stressed and frustrated at some point or another and this means that one or both of you gets to see the other in a light that is not necessarily the most flattering.

Aside from the conditions of traveling, different people have different traveling "styles", meaning that they like to structure their trip in different ways. Some people prefer to be uber-organized and have every hour of every day planned ahead of time, and like to cram in as many sights as possible during their time in that place. Some people prefer to be laid-back and not plan anything, just go out and wander and see where the day takes them. Some people like to visit every museum and read every plaque, while some people are content with a quick look at one or two things, or prefer to skip the tourist attractions altogether in favour of exploring back alleys.

I would say I am somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. I DO like to make the most of my time somewhere, so I try to figure out what main things I want to see before I go and at least come up with a basic plan for what to do and when. I also like to try and get up as early as I can so that half the day is not wasted. However, I DO NOT like to schedule my day so tightly that I have no wiggle room and I am exhausted after only a few hours. I like to keep my schedule flexible and I always like to take time to just wander and explore and visit some lesser known sights.

Given my middle-of-the-road traveling style, chances are I would go nuts traveling with someone whose style is closer to either extreme end (hyper-organized or super-laid-back) or has completely different interests. For example, my mom and I travel great together because we tend to want to visit the same sort of attractions (we both love anything arts-related, interesting museums, historical places, shopping/markets, etc) and we have a similar attitude to travel. On the other end of things, when I visited Amsterdam a few years ago with a group of girls from a University in the US (we were all living in London at the time taking a course at Regent's College), one of the gals and I ended up breaking off on the second day because all the other 3 wanted to do was sit in "koffee houses" (for those of you that are not familiar with Amsterdam's well-known attractions, it should be noted that these places do not actually serve coffee) all day long. BOR-ING. And lets be honest, if I really wanted to smoke weed all day long I could do that at home.

Luckily, I have discovered that the boy and I have similar travel styles as well because we traveled quite well together this vacation. I would definitely say I am more of a "planner" than he is, but generally we wanted to visit the same things and were open to suggestion from the other person.**

Which brings me to another point about traveling companions - you also need to remember that it is your COMPANION's trip too. You should try and compromise and do your best to ensure that you BOTH get the most of the trip. Don't throw a tantrum because you do not get to do exactly what you want when you want. Guess what, kid?! That's life. I'm not saying you should compromise all the time as you are guaranteed to not have any fun and I do not think you should miss things you really want to take in just because your companion doesn't want to, but you should be flexible, considerate and open-minded. If you can't manage to do that, you should probably travel alone. Or if you and your companion really cannot agree on a compromise, than go your separate ways for a few hours! Hello, you are not attached at the hip! And trust me, you will regret it forever if you come home having followed someone else around the entire week when you really didn't want to.

Anyway, my point is you may not be a good traveling companion for everyone in your life, even for people that you see on a daily basis and love very much, and not everyone in your life will necessarily be a good traveling companion for you. And that's ok! But if you can find someone that you can travel with, it is certainly a nice thing and I think it's a tougher thing to find than a lot of people realize. I am happy that the boy and I made it through this trip without murdering each other (as you can see, I am clearly still here and I can assure you he is, too - you will just have to trust me on this one, unfortunately). I see many more trips in our future and that makes me really happy. Traveling is something I really enjoy and will always really enjoy, and it is so nice to have someone in my life that shares my passion. We are already planning our NEXT road trip!

Who do you like to travel with and why? What is YOUR traveling style?

*this trip was also awesome because it means I get to cross another item off my 30 B4 30 list!! (see left sidebar) That would be #20: Take a Road Trip - DONE! Bazinga!
**of course, it helps that my boy is very laid-back and easy to please - I have to admit I would not necessarily say I am "laid-back" (I tend to be high-strung and a "worrier") but he is helping me do this more and I am becoming more so over time when it comes to travel

Work It

I had an interesting conversation with a friend on Saturday night.

She is in the middle of a job search because she is not able to find enough work as a substitute teacher, and it is really tough for new teachers to get a permanent contract (at least where I live it is). She is thinking maybe she needs to change fields altogether.

She is not exactly sure what type of work she wants to do, but has been applying for a bunch of different things just to see what happens. She was complaining about how she has not heard back from any of them, and I asked her if she follows up with any of the companies she is applying to, and her answer was...

"Oh I don't know".

??? Okaaaaay......

Her answer was clearly defensive, almost as if she was aware of how silly it was that she HADN'T followed up on any of these jobs, but just didn't do it anyway for whatever reason. And really I can't blame her. Following up with potential employers is annoying, and it can be embarrassing, too. And, there is no guarantee that following up on a job application will even do anything to help your chances.

Still. I couldn't help but wonder if she is going about her job search in the right way. If there is anything I have learned in the past "Year of Magical Temping" (as I very sarcastically like to call it), it's that you HAVE to set yourself apart from the competition. If you are not offering a potential employer something unique, why would they want to hire you?

The answer is, they won't. Not because you are a bad person or not qualified (necessarily) but because they will forget about you. In a stack of hundreds of resumes, and in an age where managers are more and more limited for time, yours will be passed over. Or if you are lucky enough to have them pick yours out and contact you for an interview, you STILL have to set yourself apart in some way or you will lose your place in the race at that stage instead.

In any case, the fact is there is a lot of competition out there for jobs and many employers have their pick of great people to hire, so anything you can do to make them notice you and remember you is important.

In talking to my friend, I was surprised at both the lack of effort on her part to find a job, and the long list of "requirements" she said she is looking for in a position. I feel bad saying this because there is nothing wrong with having standards, but you have to be realistic. You can't expect a job to fall in your lap just because you apply and you have the qualifications. Sending cover letters and resumes out into the void and leaving it up to chance is simply not enough anymore in today's job market. You have to work hard - it's like anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it, and if you are putting very little effort in, well...

This fact really sucks, but it's also true. And the sooner you accept the fact that it IS true and you can't change it, the sooner you will find a job. You can't control what a potential employer does, but what you CAN control is your own behaviour. You can choose to let the suckiness of the job search get your down, throw your hands up in the air and proclaim "I'm just never going to find a job!", or you can change your tactics. You can grab the job search by the balls and make it come to you.

I mean, why do you think I'm temping?! I'm certainly not doing it because the money is good (HA!!). In fact, I hate temping - I make just enough to get by, I have no health plan or vacation/sick time, and can be fired at any time with no just cause. But the reason I am temping is because I tried (to no avail) to find permanent work, needed something to pay the rent, and recognized that temping was a way to get my foot in the door of some notoriously hard-to-get-hired-into companies quickly (e.g. unionized organizations, such as the University I currently temp at, are very picky about their hiring and often have a ton of competition for any positions they post bc of the job security, high salaries, etc). I am temping because I know if I work my butt off in this position and really show what I can do, when the time comes for them to fill this position permanently, I will be at the top of their choice list. Bottom line is, I am willing to deal with some short-term frustration for long-term gain.

I'm not trying to be preachy here, or act like a know-it-all. I sure as HELL don't have all the answers (if I did, I would be super-rich by now). I can only speak from my own experience, and what has worked for me may not work for others. But I hope that my advice at least helps people who are job-searching realize they are not alone and that they might, in fact, be just steps away from success and just need to change their tactics or way of thinking a little bit.

There is nothing wrong with you. There is just something wrong with your strategy.

And that, in a nutshell, is the most important thing to keep in mind as you conduct your job-search.

I would love to hear about your job searching experiences! Please share your own experiences in the comments!

Your Cheatin' Heart

I have been thinking a lot about cheating the last couple of days.

...ok, allow me to rephrase: I have been thinking a lot about why people cheat and what is considered cheating (not actually committing the ACT of cheating).

I watched a show last night where someone cheated on their gf a few months before, then tried (in vain) to make her take them back. I watched another show where two characters were in an "open relationship" and therefore (basically) cheated on each other on a regular basis. I also watched the first part of The Kennedy's miniseries, and one scene really stuck with me, where Joe Kennedy (John F and Bobby's father) is kissing his former mistress before she leaves his home for the night (after working there all day on John F's campaign) and the camera cuts to his wife watching the whole thing. His wife (Rose) then tells the girl it's probably chilly and asks if she needs to borrow a coat, not even acknowledging what she just witnessed.

Seeing these various displays of cheating and its aftermath is what originally got my mind rolling, but of course I think it's safe to say it's a universal issue that affects pretty much everyone at one time or another (and it's, therefore, probably something we all ponder at one time or another).

Now, I (thankfully) have never been cheated on (as far as I know), nor have I ever cheated on a partner so I can't really speak from experience on this one. But what I do know is that I would NEVER cheat on someone. EVER. And I really don't understand why someone would do it to another person.

To me, cheating is the ultimate betrayal and hurtful act in a relationship. And cheating is not only a betrayal - it involves lying and sneaking around behind your partner's back in some way - but it is also a way of saying (without actually using the words), any one or more of the following: You are not enough for me. You don't give me what I need. I am not satisfied being with you. I don't have any respect for you or your feelings. I am self-absorbed.

This may sound harsh, but I just don't understand how you could cheat on someone if you really care about them. If you really care about someone, you care about their happiness and their feelings. I don't see how you could betray someone whose happiness and feelings mean that much to you, so if you cheat on someone it must mean that their happiness and feelings really don't mean as much to you as you (or they) think.

I realize that not all situation are as black and white as that - sometimes you and your partner have problems. Sometimes the person being cheated ON does not treat you the way you should be treated. Sometimes people come into your life or situations happen to you that sweep you off your feet, compromise your judgment, and persuade you to make a bad decision.
However, I firmly believe that this is still not an excuse for cheating. If you are having problems in your relationship, the solution is to sit down with your partner and discuss them like adults. Chances are, if one or both of you are feeling that your needs are not met, talking this out, putting it out in the open can help solve these issues. If your partner is not willing to listen to you, change or discuss anything then that is the time to make your exit (and I mean completely out of the relationship, not to the bed of some other guy/girl).

And, if a situation presents itself to you that encourages you to cheat, it doesn't mean that you have to. We are all capable of self-control and we all (generally) know in our guts when we should not go through with something (when it's wrong), so if you give in to the "temptation" than the only person you have to blame is yourself. There are many people (myself included) who are tempted at one time or another, but have had the sense (and respect for myself and my partner) not to act on it.

Cheating does not make problems disappear or shrink, it only adds more problems that didn't need to be there in the first place. It complicates. Have enough respect for your partner to be honest with them and give them the benefit of the doubt, and have enough respect for yourself to not run to someone else's arms to make yourself feel better or to get "revenge".

In terms of how I would react if cheated on, I can see why some people take cheaters back, but I think I would have a lot of trouble doing this. I have trust issues with men anyway (not going there right now), so if someone cheated on me I think that would kill the little bit of trust I've managed to build into myself. And even if I could take that person back, the act would always be there - like the white elephant in the room, it would be hanging over your relationship like a fog. Forgiving is fairly easy to accomplish, but forgetting? Not so much...

It's a tough situation though, and I acknowledge how complicated most situations are that involve cheating. I suppose there are people out there who would not feel as betrayed and hurt as I would. I'm sure there are people out there who don't see cheating as such a bad thing, and that it depends on the circumstances. And that's fine - to each his own! However, I think it's important that both partners are on the same page - if one partner has an open view on cheating and does not believe in defining it so strictly, then they had better make sure their partner feels the same way. It is not fair for someone who is open about cheating to date someone who is not, just as it is not fair for someone who is NOT open about cheating to expect a partner who IS to stay faithful (don't hold your breath for that to happen).

Anyway, when it comes right down to it, I personally feel that cheating is never justified and I vow to never do it to someone nor date someone who has a history of doing this or an open opinion about it in general. Because, in the end, you're not just cheating on them - you're also cheating yourself, and that's just not 'me'.

Thoughts? What is your stance on cheating? Have you ever been cheated on/cheated on someone? How did it make you feel? Did you stay with that person? What do you consider "cheating"? Discuss!

War...what is it good for?

It was quite the scene on America's Next Top Model last night. I for one was shocked at Brittany's behaviour on the set of the Ford photo shoot, and I found the wheels in my head turning like crazy with my opinions about the incident - so much so that I felt I had to share.

(unfortunately I couldn't find a good video, so those of you that didn't see it may be a tad lost as to what I'm talking about, but sorry it's too much to explain)

I also felt I had to share because I feel there is a good lesson here that can be applied to everyday life. The models and the setting can serve as a metaphor for something everyone (in my opinion) should keep in mind.

Look, I dislike Alexandria as much as everyone else does - she is bossy, full of herself and sucks up to the judges - and I certainly understand the urge to call people like that out (I think we all have known people we would like to punch in the face). But the fact is, no matter what your feelings are about somebody, there is a time and place for voicing those opinions. The time and place is NOT your place of work or in any kind of setting where you are being closely analyzed and watched. And the time and place is CERTAINLY not in front of your boss, supervisor, or other important person (which, in this case, was photographer and judge, Nigel Barker). In fact, that is the last person you should be having immature yelling matches in front of. If you feel that you must confront the person that you have issues with, at least do it in private.

You know what happens when you have an angry confrontation with someone in front of other people? It doesn't call that person out so much as it makes YOU look like an idiot. It makes you look like an impulsive, crazy, irrational person. Instead of making you look like the bigger person, it stoops you down to the other person's level. I'm not saying that a confrontation like this does NOT make the other person look bad, but it also makes YOU look bad, and why would you want that?

I am probably not a good person to judge others when it comes to confrontation and the proper way of doing it because I'm the most non-confrontational person ever. I am very shy about calling people out and in most cases will not say anything, even if I really want to. However, part of the reason I do not confront people even if I want to is because I do not necessarily feel that confrontation is helpful in all situations. And I feel that even if confrontation will be helpful in a situation, that there is a certain way it should be done.

Aside from it being done in private, I think it helps if a confrontation is done civilly. In fact, I don't really like the word "confrontation" for that reason - if a situation is "confrontational" it inherently implies anger and aggression. It conjures up the image of a pair of guests on an episode of Jerry Springer - faces inches apart, mouths wide open and flapping rapidly, wild eyes, arms flapping up and down and fingers wagging. I don't know about you, but I find that to be a rather scary and intimidating image.

You know what Microsoft Word lists as synonyms for "confrontation"? Argument, disagreement, quarrel, altercation, war of words, conflict, row, opposition, resistance, defiance. I prefer the word "discussion", whose synonyms are listed as follows: conversation, debate, argument, dialogue, talk, chat. Now, do those synonyms not sound less scary to you?!

My point is, discussing a problem you have with another person does not have to be angry. There is a way to discuss such things in a way that is straightforward and lets them know that you are frustrated, while also staying calm. You can state your case in a clear, articulate way and ultimately get your point across more clearly and avoid a lot of misunderstanding. The thing is, yelling and anger only invites more yelling and more anger and it is pretty tough to bring an angry yelling match to a happy conclusion. However, the same is true for calm and rationale - they invite more calm and more rationale. Obviously, some people are going to get angry with what you say whether you say it calmly or not, but the difference there is that it will only be THEM making an ass of themselves instead of both of you. You will look positively saintly next to their volatility. Either that or the other person is not going to change anyway or even care about your opinion of them. Either way, you will have made your point and kept your dignity intact at the same time.

Plus, lets be honest you will get a great laugh from seeing their face turn bright red and their spit fly.

I admit, I respect people who can confront others in an assertive yet articulate way because I have a lot of trouble with that, and that's another part of the reason why I generally don't confront people - when I do, my emotions start to well up and I start rambling, turning red and sputtering as a result. In most cases, it's just better for me to not get into it. However, I will never respect people who choose to unload their frustrations in an angry and public way - I will just continue to shake my head in disbelief at their behaviour and be convinced that they are starved for attention and/or extremely conceited.

This is pretty much what I was doing all last night while watching the antics on ANTM unfold. The crappy thing is, I like Brittany a lot and she is one of my favourite girls on the show this year. However, I lost a lot of respect for her because of this incident, and it's clear that the judges and the other girls did too (did anyone else notice how NO ONE backed Brittany up when she finally did confront Alexandria? Funny how that happens-the other girls obviously know how to keep their feelings to themselves). That is HUGE, especially when it comes to a career like modelling which is based in large part on reputation. And HELLO?! You are supposed to be a role model! What kind of message are you sending to young girls who watch you? It's bad enough that models make young girls feel fat and ugly, lets not add to that by justifying unprofessional behaviour too.

I totally agree with everything Tyra told her (even though Tyra frankly annoys me a lot of the time), but I also agree that she should be given a second chance because another thing I believe is that someone should not be judged on one decision or incident, but by their overall "body of work".

We make mistakes - we get angry and don't think rationally, we use poor judgment and say things we don't mean, that's part of being a human being. Lord knows I have gotten upset over silly things millions of times before, put my foot in my mouth only to feel like a huge douche and/or moron later. But the key is to learn from these mistakes and not make poor decisions like this a trend. Freaking out angrily and publicly once is one thing - doing it on the daily is a whole other issue. I just hope Brittany learned a lesson from all of this.

The  bottom line is: The way I see it, when in doubt, keep your mouth shut.

Practical vs. Passionate?

Considering all of the hurdles I've experienced in my professional life since I graduated from University (almost) 3 years ago, career and lifestyle is something that I think (and talk) about a lot. It hasn't been on my mind as much lately since I have been experiencing a tad more stability the past month. However, after talking with my old boss about a possible new permanent job opportunity coming up, and reading this blog post, and various discussions with friends and family has brought the issue to the forefront of my mind again.

I think the eternal struggle (I say eternal because I think it's something most of us struggle with at some point or another and there is no easy answer to it so it won't really ever be "solved") when it comes to career is whether or not to choose a "practical" path or a "passionate" path. Should I base my career goals around obtaining employment that is stable, secure and predictable? Or should I base my career goals around pursuing a passion, i.e. building a career around an activity that fulfills me?

I have struggled with this as well. I've had moments when I have experienced regrets over the path(s) I chose and wonder how my life would be different today if I had taken different directions. I have always loved writing, but in a way I feel like sort of a "late-bloomer" - I didn't really realize how fully I enjoyed it, or that I even had any kind of talent for it, until I was in my 20's. I don't think I even fully realized that I could write AS a career! I didn't know you could make a living from writing blogs and articles, and offering copywriting and editing services! I sometimes wonder, if I had this knowledge back then, maybe I would be doing all or some of these things full-time now. Maybe I wouldn't have had the career struggles I have experienced. Not to mention wondering whether or not I'd actually have "what it takes" to be a full-time writer, or something else artistic.

But then I remember some of the other lessons that I've learned in the past few years. I have learned how much of a struggle it can be to run your own business, to work for yourself, to even get started. I have learned the value of job security (of knowing where you paycheque is coming from and knowing that it will come like clockwork every two weeks and it will be the same amount), of health benefits, of vacation and sick time. I have learned that I am not a very self-discplined person, and because of that I need to be accountable to someone else (a manager or team members) in order to meet deadlines in a productive manner. I have learned I enjoy having somewhere to "go" every day and a team to contribute to/collaborate with. I enjoy having a separate work and home life - I value my personal time and freedom, time with family and friends, and time to just "goof off", relax or go on little adventures - and I like knowing when exactly I can fit these things in.

Is the 9-5 routine boring sometimes? Of course. Is it sometimes frustrating not having complete control over your projects and dealing with the complicated bureaucracy that you have no control over? Of course. But the fact is, there are complications, bureaucracy and frustrations to any job whether you are your own boss or not. Whether you work for yourself or someone else, it's still a job. You are still working. To put it metaphorically, sure you could move to an exotic, exciting, faraway place (Paris, anyone?), but in the end you still need to pay bills, go grocery shopping and pay taxes.

In any case, a 9-5 job doesn't have to be boring. I have been fulfilled in some way by all of the jobs I've had and I have had some really fun, interesting experiences, projects to work on, and I've met amazing people. Sure, there have been things I haven't enjoyed too, but when it comes right down to it a job is what you make of it, and (as I mention in the previous paragraph) generally you cannot avoid the "shitty" side of working.

And when I really think about it, would I want to do something that I see as  a "fun hobby" for my job 24-7? I'm not so sure I would. I think what I like most about my creative hobbies is that I can indulge in them as much or as little as I want, and that I don't depend on them for anything other than personal pleasure. I like that I can submit 10 articles a month to publications, produce 20 drawings or paintings, or I can do NONE. It's all up to me and what makes me feel good. I think if I made my hobbies my "job", it would start to feel like just that to me - a "job". It would feel like work, not fun.

Further to that (according to another thing I've learned about myself), I don't really feel that I am passionate ENOUGH about any ONE thing to make it my full-time career. I have many passions -  or more specifically I have a little bit of passion for a bunch of different things, so it would be really tough for me to pick one thing, or to organize the motley bunch of passions that I have into some semblance of a career wherein I can actually pay my bills. I would end up working 5 little jobs, and that would stress me out even more than working one large one!

I'm not naive - I certainly see the benefits to being your own boss and doing what you love every day. Despite my caution about that type of lifestyle, there is still part of me that hasn't completely written off working for myself someDAY, or that isn't jealous of the bloggers I follow and their super-successful businesses. But the fact is, you never see the whole story of someone's life, only the parts they choose to share, and for that reason you should never use others' success and passion as a meter stick for your own.

What works for one person may not work for you - and I'm slowly coming to the realization that, for me, that's OK. I don't have to turn my writing or my art into a full-time career in order to feel accomplished. 9-5 may  not be for everyone, but for me the benefits far outweigh the frustrations. It's not about being "superwoman" or being "like

Who knows what the future will bring (yet another lesson I have learned), so who knows if I'll feel this way forever, or have the luxury of a secure 9-5 forever (probably not). But this is what I want right now. I'm quite happy with my practical career choice, and leaving my hobbies to indulge in at home when I have time. The fact is, if you are living the life that you want right now and that works best for you right now, you ARE living your passion - whether you are doing it in a cubicle in an office tower, or on a computer in your home.