Friday, May 14, 2010
I wanted to discuss something that I'm working on, in conjunction with this blog, that I haven't really explained before.
Those of you that have visited this here blog might have noticed my little list I keep in the right-hand column, entitled "30 B4 30". We've all heard of bucket lists, and this is sort of like that, but I got the original idea from Sandy B and her Birthday List.
I think we all have at least mental lists of things we would like to accomplish "someday", and I think most of us fail to ever accomplish even half of those things - mostly because these lists often STAY in our heads, and that "someday" always stays on our lips. This is certainly an issue I have, but reading up on Sandy's list and her reasoning behind the project reminded me that putting something in writing right in front of your face not only holds you more accountable, but also makes your goals seem more "real" and tangible - they are within closer reach than you realize!
I just started this list about 3 months ago and in that time have not had the pleasure to cross anything off. This has been frustrating - I worry that, since I'm not good at finishing things, I'll never get complete this list in time. Sure, I'm only 25 so I've got almost 5 years to get them all done, but it's also a fact that some of the things on my list are complicated and will take much more planning (and money!) than others.
BUT! I'm happy to say that, as of Sunday, I can now CROSS THE FIRST THING OFF MY LIST!! It's a small thing on the grand scheme, but for me it's a big thing as it's something I've never done before. Which one, you ask?! Behold:
#11 Ask a guy out
Yes, that's right. How sad is that, that I've never done this in my entire life? When you think about it, it seems like such a simple, everyday thing in theory; but in practice it's much more nervewracking than that for most people. And I think for me it's even more nervewracking than it is for the average person.
If you knew me in real life from way back, you would understand why this is on my list. I was always a shy person by nature - don't get me wrong I always had friends, and guys liked me, but in groups and with people I didnt know I was really shy, and the guys that liked me tended to be of the dorky, unpopular variety. I was particularly shy around guys, however. I never grew up with guys around (my dad hasn't been in my life since I was 15 and also thanks to this dysfunctionality, I developed a deep distrust for men in addition to the mere shyness) so I never had guy friends. I was always quiet, got good marks, and didn't have a big rack or long legs so I wasn't exactly a heartbreaker.
Now, I am 120 times more confident than I used to be, and now consider myself a social person. However, that shyness is still there under the surface and it still comes out when I'm in a large group or with people I don't know, depending on the situation. But it's something I'm always working on. Being shy was never something I liked about myself, and STILL don't like, so I'm always trying to work against it.
SO, needless to say asking a guy out is a big step for me in many ways. I won't go into every little detail but he's a friend of a friend that I met at a party said friend threw about a month ago. I thought he was cute and nice at the time but didn't think much about because I was seeing someone then. However, since that time the guy I was seeing has left the picture and I noticed party-guy on Facebook last week, remembered my initial attraction, added him as a friend, and sent him a (dorky) message on there asking him out! Aaaaand the important thing is that we went out last night! And had a good time! Whaddya know.
Ok, so I asked him out through a facebook message and not in person, but it's still a big step for me! I was proud of myself that I took the chance. Even if he had said no, I wouldn't have been completely heartbroken because I'm proud. I'm slowly realizing I need to take more chances in life, not be so afraid of the outcome so I consider this to be a point for me to put towards that high score. Kim: 1, Shyness: 0
Even if things aren't being crossed off right and left, there are usually a few things on my list that I am currently working on, or looking forward to working on in the near future. These currently include: #6, #17, #20 and #25.
I will likely add/delete items over time, as I'm known to be finicky and I may realize a goal I want to accomplish that I wasn't aware of before. Also, some of the things on my list are silly while some are impossible, and many of the things on my list involve travel/trips. But that's the fun thing about dreams - they can be as crazy or as tame as you want, some of the smallest, silliest things can be the most rewarding, and variety is the spice of life! Besides, if I really want to challenge myself with this list, it makes no sense to put all ordinary-ish things on it!
This list isn't something I expect to transform my entire life or anything or something I'm going to revolve this entire blog around, or something I'm going to bawl for days over not accomplishing. It's merely a way to push myself into being more adventurous and go for those things I've always dreamed of going for. What's the fun in talking about doing things when you can actually DO them?
Make your own list! Turn those "somedays" into "todays" and "tomorrows"! Or, heck, maybe even "yesterdays"!
Do you have a similar List? What are the big things on it? What do you think of this phenomenon?