Hidden Gems: tommy mcculloch

This post is part of my Hidden Gems series. To read up on what this is all about, check out this post.

For this week's HG, I wanted to highlight a cute little place that I walk by every morning on my way into the office. For those of you that don't know, I work at a large University in my home city and in order to get to my office in the administration building, I have to cut through the Life Sciences Centre.

Tucked into a connector section between the two buildings, enclosed in a glass "box" is the Thomas McCulloch Museum. I never realized this place was here until I started commuting to my current job and I barely noticed its presence during the first few weeks. Well, I did notice it but in kind of a subconscious way. Mainly I just saw the glass display cases holding lots of bizarre things like taxidermy, mushrooms, bones and shells and thought "hm, why is all this stuff here? Weird". Then kept walking. 

One day I decided I needed to learn more about this odd and nondescript place - it seemed so wrong to walk by it every day and not know anything about it (you know in Love Actually when Hugh Grant tells Natalie that he wants her to tell him about herself because working alongside her every day and knowing so little about her feels elitist and wrong? Anyone? Bueller?...just me? Ok, moving on...)

From the Museum website:

Thomas McCulloch was a Scots Presbyterian minister, an educator and a political reformer. He came to Pictou, Nova Scotia in 1803 from Scotland at the age of twenty-seven. His controversial views and opposition of the establishment left a lasting impact on Nova Scotia and eventually on Canada.

-          He arrived in Pictou when the colony was growing and in need of education and change.

-          He became a missionary and a minister of the First Presbyterian Church.

-          The founder and principal of Pictou Academy.

-          He was ordained in the Secessionist Church.

-          The first principal of Dalhousie College in Halifax in 1838.

-          He created the Audubon mounted bird collection in the McCulloch Museum.

-          McCulloch sent a collection of Nova Scotian insects to the University of Glasgow who in recognition of the gift awarded him the degree of Doctor of Divinity in 1822.

-          McCulloch had a profound belief that education should be liberal and available to everyone. Therefore he felt his greatest work was the creation of Pictou Academy which manifested these beliefs. He was met with a lot of opposition from the officials of the time.

 Cool, huh? McCulloch came to Dalhousie in 1883 and taught Logic, Rhetoric and Philosophy for five years. He also developed a series of scientific lectures which he took on tour throughout the Maritime provinces, which supposedly greatly piqued the public's interest in and knowledge of biology.

The highlight of the museum is McCulloch's preserved bird collection - 22 cases altogether! All Nova Scotia birds mounted in natural settings (according to the Audubon style). The museum also includes a mushroom collection, coral and shell collection, and butterfly and insect collections - all contributed to by life science professors at Dalhousie.

You can visit the museum for free daily between 8:30am and 4:30pm and classes are often held here. 

Ok, I know some of you are thinking "This place is just a bunch of dead/stuffed things in cases...how boring is that?". But I think it's fascinating that this man took the time to amass so many specimens and that there is a free space just steps from my office that I can peruse anytime I like and learn about species I have never even heard of. The natural world is so fascinating and complex; there is so much to learn about it and I feel the only way to really have full respect for this world is to educate ourselves as much as we can. That is why I think this museum is cool. 

Plus, it's sort of quirky and a little weird, and I always love things like that. And it's always nice to learn a bit more history about the storied institution where I work (I think it makes me appreciate it more). 

And to think most people just walk right by this museum with barely a second glance. I'm glad I took the time to learn more about this hidden gem. 

Do you know of a person, place or thing that you think is really cool but is not very well-known? Are there little pieces of paradise in your city/province or in cities that you have visited that are off-the-beaten-path, but you think everyone should know about them? Well, I want to post about them on Gathers No Moss! Email me, tweet @KimHumes or leave a comment and I'll share it in an upcoming post! Here's to celebrating the little things! And exploring off-the-path to find them!

damn words...you fine

I was lied to. Or, I should say I was never given the whole story.

Everything I was told, or that I read/heard, in high school basically implied that if I got a University degree that I would be all set. I would graduate, get a job and that would be that. They never told me that so much rides on your first job out of school. They never told me that sometimes that first job that you think is going to set you for life ends up being...well, nothing like you expected. They never told me that sometimes your first job out of school can also be the first job you are let go from and that you can be unemployed for the first time a month into living in your first apartment (and having, you know, actual BILLS to pay).

But this all happened to me (needless to say I would have appreciated a head's up as to the possibility). This experience set off a sequence of events that resulted in finding myself inching closer and closer to 30 while spending my working life jumping between temporary secretary jobs where I am not appreciated and that don't really suit me (setting: present day). Soul-sucking corporate jobs with lots of forms, regulations and people blaming you for things that are out of your hands. Jobs that make you long for 4:30 and give you permanent neck and shoulder pain and tension.

And in between all of this, a job search that is pretty soul-sucking in its own right. A search that after a while appears futile and makes you wonder if you have anything of value to offer, if there was any point in getting that degree after all, and why is it so many of your peers seem to be "getting it right" while you are getting it so...wrong.

Not exactly the rosy image I had in my high-school head about my future.

The one blessing from my unexpected career woes? Realizing what I really love and am really good at. Had I never been forced to do so much self-examination and career research, I may have never realized where my true passion lies and the number of opportunities available within that niche for someone who is willing to reach out and grab them. I am not sure I would have ever looked at a skill that lurked there the entire time - my entire life, to be exact - in my peripheral vision as a potential career path had I not been forced to think of "outside the box" ways of bringing in income, as well as my purpose in life.

I have always been a writer (even though I hate when people say that, and they say it a lot) but never a confident one. I never thought of myself as a writer nor thought of the skill as a "talent" or as something that made me special. As an extremely quiet and shy kid growing up, it was a struggle for me to even raise my hand in class and give a 10 second answer, let alone admit to myself that I was talented or special in any area.

I just knew I liked doing it. It felt good to have my essay chosen to read at my 6th grade graduation (out of all the essays in my class). I actually liked writing papers in English class (if that's not an indication of uniqueness, I don't know what is). My marks were always highest in English and arts-related classes. In Jr High I started writing a movie screenplay (alas it never got finished, but if it did I imagine it would have starred Rachel McAdams).

It felt good that, even though I was too scared to open my mouth and speak my mind, that I could always get my thoughts and opinions out on paper. Even if I couldn't be one of those confident and articulate people that everyone listened to in person, I could at least be that person through my pen or keyboard.

I have learned and grown so much since then, but writing is still an outlet for me. And now that I realize it can not only be an outlet, but a way to earn a living, I think I love it even more. You see, I am of the mind that things happen for a reason - so, I am starting to think that maybe there is a reason that my career trajectory has not gone as I would have liked or expected. Maybe there's a reason that I am not liking these secretarial jobs (and they don't like me back).

Maybe it's because I am following the wrong path, looking in the wrong places. Perhaps I was far too focused on getting a "regular" job where I'm always working to please others and feed others' souls rather than working to fill up my own. Maybe it's time to shake things up, give up on the whole "regular" existence thing and take a chance on something I love.

I have been working a bit towards writing for work for about a year now, but I feel I would benefit from some guidance and some mentorship. I feel like I am finally pointed in the right general direction, but I need someone to lead me from here. I know I want to write for a living, but I don't quite have the confidence or the full range of skills to jump right in with both feet on my own.

I feel that your writing course would help give me the confidence boost, practical tools, advice and motivation I need to really make a future out of this. It's time to tell myself it's ok to do what THEY never did - go forth, and follow your passion.

This blog post is an entry into The Damn Fine Words Writing Contest.

There She Goes Again...

What?! It's the weekend again! Yes, I love 4-day weeks. Just when you think it's Thursday - surprise! It's Friday and time for two days of relaxation (ideally)...

Man, have I ever been looking forward to the weekend. I had so much on the go this week, I am physically and mentally exhausted. I feel like I have been spending all my free time trying to check to-do's off my list but I am only accomplishing a fraction of what I would like to! Frustrating. How does time become so fluid sometimes? Just slips through the fingers like water leaving you wondering where it went...

Anyway, some exciting (and slightly scary) things coming up:

Found here

* Tonight the boy and I are having dinner at CUT Steakhouse and I am really excited! It is a pricey place, where I would never normally be able to afford to eat, but because I am doing it as part of my Big Day Downtown promotion, $100 of my bill is covered! The whole idea behind the promotion is to do something new; something you have never done before and I will explain why I chose CUT on the blog next week. So check back for some sure to be mouth-watering photos and prose!

Found here

* Tomorrow I think we are going blueberry picking again in the Valley - the berries from our first trip earlier this summer are all gone and we want some stock to stick in the freezer for the winter. Fresh blueberries all year round FTW! I think we are also going to visit the Oaklawn Farm Zoo and maybe toodle around some other neat events in the Valley if there is anything going on. Any suggestions, NS folks?!

Found here

* I have a job interview (FINALLY!!) for a position at my alma mater - Mount Saint Vincent University. I am really looking forward to it because it has been a while since I have had an interview (I feel like I have been applying to millions of jobs but not getting anywhere), and it sounds like a really interesting job. It's only part-time, which is really not ideal, but I can't afford to be picky at this point. Also, I don't necessarily mind working two part-time jobs, as long as it's not too complicated logistically. And I have been taking on a lot of new, exciting writing projects, so if I can have the time to write part-time and get at least one foot out of the 9-5 game I will be pretty excited! I do still have to eat, however. Stay tuned...

Next Wednesday is my last day at my current job so I am getting a little desperate since I do not have anything else lined up. Not that I don't welcome a little break, but my wallet and I can only handle not working for so long.

* On a happier note re. my last day at work - on Thursday my mom, sister and I will be traveling to Prince Edward Island to see ELTON JOHN in concert! Ah, I'm so excited!! He is one of my favourite musicians - I love all of his music - and I've always wanted to see him live. We had a little glitch with our tickets earlier this week and we thought for a minute we wouldn't be going after all, but all is well now. I will probably do a little recap of that on the blog too, so you can look forward to lots of gloating and gushing from me (not even gonna sugarcoat that).

WORD TO YOUR MOMS. Found here. 

What are you up to this weekend?! Any exciting upcoming plans?!

Think we kissed but I forgot...

Found here

Ok, how the hell is it the weekend again ALREADY? I'm pretty sure I say that often, as do most of us, but still! And it's mid-July?! I feel like the summer just speeds by and I am constantly struggling to fit in everything I want to do before September comes!  *sigh*

The good news is it's FRIDAY and the work-week is therefore closing! Even though I am excited about this, I should say work is good lately - not too busy but not boring, getting work done...also it looks like things might be moving forward a bit towards me being hired permanently. From what I know, they will be doing interviews the week of August 8th for my job, which means I should have an idea if I am going to be ousted by some internal candidate or actually have a shot at taking the job for myself by mid-August. Only another month! I can stick it out another month. However, there is still no guarantee I will get the job so I am continuing to apply for things. I have several applications out there and have not heard from anyone in a WHILE - the waiting is driving me NUTS - but I know from experience that this is a slow time with people on vacations and stuff. Same thing happened to me last year and BOOM! The beginning of August I got a bunch of calls.

Soooo to make a long story short (which is admittedly tough for me) nothing much has changed but things are slowly moving forward. My current plan is to stick it out until mid-August and if it looks like I will be temping a bit longer I think I may take a part-time gig on the side to make a bit of extra money (answering phones or something easy like that). I am really hoping it doesn't get to that point but being tight on money is really stressing me out (it's probably my biggest stressor in life right now) so at least this would help me feel more comfortable financially. I am expanding the range of job types I am applying for in the hopes that this will help my chances of finding something permanent soon, and will just continue to keep my eyes and ears open, follow up, and think positive! On and on it goes...

Anyway, back to the important news - the weekend!!

Things I am excited about right now:
* The boy is playing in a softball tournament this weekend and I am going to their first game tonight. No I will not be wearing a cheerleading outfit or carrying pom-pom's (although I am sure he would like it) I don't want to scare the children.

* I have my mom's car tonight and tomorrow morning because she has been away. Since I don't have my own car, I feel so free when I do have one; like I could take off to wherever I want to go! Endless possibilities! Of course that is not really true because a) my mom would kill me,  b) I am too broke to afford gas to take me anywhere I want to go, and c) most places I would REALLY want to go I would not be able to drive through (except underwater). In any case, it is still nice to have it.

* Getting a proposal done for an article I want to submit to a local magazine. This is something I have no experience in but hope to do more of in the future. I am going to start small and work my way up, see how it goes.

* Beach bonfire Saturday night! Trying to get a group of friends together right now to enjoy the sunset, s'mores, drinks, and relaxation. Bliss.

* I got an offer to participate in an exciting promotion between TeamBuy Halifax and a local PR firm, and I may be completing my activities on Sunday (weather and other plans permitting). If not this Sunday then next. I will definitely do a post on my experience, but that is all I will say for now. Stay tuned!

* I am now a part of the Elite Squad on Yelp! This basically means that I get invited to fun local parties with other squad members, which is pretty sweet. I love writing for this site! I love that there is a site I can write completely honestly and that I can help people (hopefully) with what I write. Next stop: Curing cancer! (hah)

What are you looking forward to this weekend?

Hidden Adventures (and frustrations)

My first blog post for Nova Scotia.com is now live! You can read it here.

As always, any feedback is appreciated! I hope my entries encourage those of you that live here to explore here more, and those of you that don't live here to visit sometime!

Photo taken by me, Five Islands Provincial Park

Unfortunately I am still sick - although I'm feeling better, I'm still not feeling good. Throat is still sore, still have a fever and generally low energy but I'm back to work because I just can't afford to take any more time off. I hate to complain about temping because it's helping me pay the bills while I look for a permanent job, they have been good to me, and ultimately I am the one choosing to do it, but I have to be honest - I am getting really really sick of not having a job that gives me paid sick or vacation time. Or that provides any kind of stability whatsoever.

First, they do not provide direct deposit, so I have to rely on waiting for cheques in the mail or going out of my way to pick them up (which was super-fun during the month-long postal strike). I am not provided any sick or vacation time, so these past two days I had to take off due to illness are a huge hit to my paycheque. Plus, I realized today that I was not paid for Canada Day (last Friday) even though it's a stat holiday because I didn't work the first scheduled day after the holiday (which was Monday in this case). I had remembered you had to work 15 of the previous 30 days in order to qualify for stat holiday pay, but had forgotten this other rule. So, this means TWO weeks of short paycheques in a row (one day short from last week, and next week will be two days short). Great.

Maybe I'm being a baby about this, but I don't really get why it's ok to doc me money because I physically COULD NOT work the first shift after the holiday. I can't help that I was sick - if I could have gone into work, I would have, but I couldn't. Besides, I shouldn't have to go into work if I feel it's endangering my health - it's not fair to me, and it's not fair to my coworkers. There is something wrong with a system that means people are dragging themselves into work half-dead simply to put in time to meet archaic and ridiculous rules. I had to borrow money from my mother in order to get a prescription and bus tickets because I have been so short the last couple of weeks. I HATE borrowing money from my mother, even though she doesn't mind and I appreciate it.

I am just getting so sick of temping. It's keeping my head above water and I appreciate that, and I certainly make more money doing it than I would if I took a retail job. But I barely make enough to get by and I am so tempted to just say "screw it" to finding a job in my field and just look for something that is easy to get but at least allows me a stable paycheque and benefits, like a secretary or receptionist somewhere. I feel like I have my foot in the door (finally) to a permanent career in a field I actually enjoy, so I am reluctant to pull that foot out, but I am just getting so sick of the unpredictability and stress that temporary work is giving me.

Sorry to rant - opening my cheque this morning just put me in a bad mood and I felt I needed to write it out.

Am I wrong? I know I should just quit complaining and do something about it, but I'm sort of at the point where I don't know WHAT to do. I feel like I'm damned if I do something, damned if I don't. Thoughts? Anyway, I'll figure it out - I'm just cranky today and need a nap. Or a giant cupcake.

Thanks for listening, internet.

Follow-up Post: Job-Search Tips

As a follow-up to my last post I thought I would share some job-searching tips:

* Always write a cover letter when applying for a job (even if they don't ask for one - and it doesn't have to be long and in-depth, before you start whining)

* In fact, make sure your cover letter is NOT too long - you don't want to be vague, but you don't want to be too verbose either (fit on one page if you can!). And PLEASE GOD people PROOF-READ, or better yet proof yourself then have someone else do a 2nd proof for you! If the spelling and grammar in your cover letter is a mess, you might as well write "please throw this out" at the top, because that is exactly what employers will do with it.

* Make sure your cover letter is personalized to the position you are applying for - pull out specific requirements they mention in the job posting and talk about how your experience lends itself to those things. Sure, using a generic cover letter for every job and just changing out the address/name/date at the top is easy, but it's also boring and lazy. Personalizing your resume can't hurt either - I have a section at the top of the 1st page of my resume that acts as a kind of "intro" or "summary" that outlines the position I am applying for, and my general skill sets. Not saying employers ever notice this, but you should never assume. 

* Make sure your cover letter uses positive tone  and highlight what YOU can do for THEM, don't just talk up your skills or use "I" constantly as you can easily come off as arrogant and self-absorbed. Employers want to know what you would bring to the position, not how awesome you are.

* If you have not heard from anyone about the position 2 weeks after the closing date, follow up. I would recommend calling rather than emailing (email is super easy to ignore or overlook). I would also recommend doing some research to find the name of the actual HR manager at the company/organization before you call, because:
A) if you just call and ask the 1st person who answers the phone about the status of a job, they will most likely not know because they are likely to be a receptionist or some other front-line person, and...
B) even if that person does know what the job status is, the person who counts will likely not hear about your call and therefore will have no discerning information about you when they actually see your resume in the pile.
(This is a tricky one though because you want to show interest, but you don't want to be a pest, so use your judgment. Also, pay attention to the job posting because some companies will ask specifically for candidates NOT to call, and if they do you really should wait for them to get in touch with you. You want to show initiative, but you don't want to piss people off or make them think you don't know how to read or follow instructions).

* Speaking of job postings, always save a copy of the posting for all jobs you apply to. I usually just copy and paste into Word (easy-peasy). This may sound like a no-brainer, but I have forgotten to do this many times, only to be scheduled for an interview then have no way of tracking down the job posting to refresh my memory because it was deleted from the web. This saves a lot of heartache and hair-pulling later, as it is good to be well-versed in the expectations of the position before you go into an interview (don't forget to review the cover letter and resume you sent them so you know what exactly you told them about yourself, too!).

* If a job posting intrigues you, but it is not necessarily in your preferred field or location, has a salary that is a bit lower than you were hoping for, or has some responsibilities listed that you are not sure about, apply anyway. It is nice that you have a "Dream Job" in your head and want to hold out for that, but frankly that is an unrealistic notion. Finding your "Dream Job" is an extremely unlikely scenario and most people who are working in their DJ's are there because they paid their dues at jobs they didn't necessarily like and were open to experiences. You SHOULD want to do something you enjoy and that is suited to your personality and skills, however you never know where something will take you - you may discover a passion for something you didn't even know about, make a great contact or two, or gain some really valuable experience to put on your resume. No job is permanent - you can always leave if you don't like it - and there is no shame in working a job that is less-than-glamorous for a while either because you can't find anything else or just to build your portfolio. I always say that as long as there is a POINT to what you are doing, than you will be fine. Besides, the worse thing that will happen if you apply is that they won't call you, and then you will no worse/better off than you were before, but if you don't apply you will never know if you possibly missed out on a great opportunity.

*Expand your job search methods beyond the traditional job listing websites (CareerBeacon, Monster, Workopolis, etc). Think about what organizations or companies you might like to work for and go directly to their websites - most companies/organizations have Careers sections where you can peruse postings, or if they don't, it can't hurt to email them with your resume and ask about possible opportunities. Chances are you won't hear back, but you might. Many companies will take your resume and put it "on file" for the future or may even be open to meeting with you if they are intrigued by your skills and initiative.

If you are not sure what specific companies or organizations you would like to work with, think about what fields or industries you might be interested in and Google companies/organizations within those fields. Put a notice out on your Twitter or Facebook or Blog about what you are looking for and ask for any leads anyone might have. Go out to networking events and career centres and talk to others about what you are looking for, again you NEVER KNOW (my motto) who you are going to meet and who they might know.
Or consider temping! Temp agencies often have access to job postings that do not necessarily go public and there is always a possibility of being hired on permanently - I found a mat leave job through my agency that ended up being a job I really enjoyed a lot and, even though they couldn't hire me permanently, I gained more than a year's awesome experience to put on my resume. And actually, the boss I had there recently recommended me for a position at another related organization. See? YOU NEVER KNOW.
Sites like CareerBeacon are really great, but there may be postings out there that you are missing by focusing ONLY on those forums, and great companies maybe be missing out on YOU because you are being lost in the shuffle.

Don't be a "sheep". Make yourself stand out. 

Anyway, I could go on and on, but those are just some of the main tips I would recommend. Now, these are tips I would give based on MY experience - you can agree or not, but I think I have enough job-searching experience (8 jobs in 8 years) that I know at least somewhat what I am talking about.

What are your tips for job-searching? What have you found works/doesn't work for you?

Work It

I had an interesting conversation with a friend on Saturday night.

She is in the middle of a job search because she is not able to find enough work as a substitute teacher, and it is really tough for new teachers to get a permanent contract (at least where I live it is). She is thinking maybe she needs to change fields altogether.

She is not exactly sure what type of work she wants to do, but has been applying for a bunch of different things just to see what happens. She was complaining about how she has not heard back from any of them, and I asked her if she follows up with any of the companies she is applying to, and her answer was...

"Oh I don't know".

??? Okaaaaay......

Her answer was clearly defensive, almost as if she was aware of how silly it was that she HADN'T followed up on any of these jobs, but just didn't do it anyway for whatever reason. And really I can't blame her. Following up with potential employers is annoying, and it can be embarrassing, too. And, there is no guarantee that following up on a job application will even do anything to help your chances.

Still. I couldn't help but wonder if she is going about her job search in the right way. If there is anything I have learned in the past "Year of Magical Temping" (as I very sarcastically like to call it), it's that you HAVE to set yourself apart from the competition. If you are not offering a potential employer something unique, why would they want to hire you?

The answer is, they won't. Not because you are a bad person or not qualified (necessarily) but because they will forget about you. In a stack of hundreds of resumes, and in an age where managers are more and more limited for time, yours will be passed over. Or if you are lucky enough to have them pick yours out and contact you for an interview, you STILL have to set yourself apart in some way or you will lose your place in the race at that stage instead.

In any case, the fact is there is a lot of competition out there for jobs and many employers have their pick of great people to hire, so anything you can do to make them notice you and remember you is important.

In talking to my friend, I was surprised at both the lack of effort on her part to find a job, and the long list of "requirements" she said she is looking for in a position. I feel bad saying this because there is nothing wrong with having standards, but you have to be realistic. You can't expect a job to fall in your lap just because you apply and you have the qualifications. Sending cover letters and resumes out into the void and leaving it up to chance is simply not enough anymore in today's job market. You have to work hard - it's like anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it, and if you are putting very little effort in, well...

This fact really sucks, but it's also true. And the sooner you accept the fact that it IS true and you can't change it, the sooner you will find a job. You can't control what a potential employer does, but what you CAN control is your own behaviour. You can choose to let the suckiness of the job search get your down, throw your hands up in the air and proclaim "I'm just never going to find a job!", or you can change your tactics. You can grab the job search by the balls and make it come to you.

I mean, why do you think I'm temping?! I'm certainly not doing it because the money is good (HA!!). In fact, I hate temping - I make just enough to get by, I have no health plan or vacation/sick time, and can be fired at any time with no just cause. But the reason I am temping is because I tried (to no avail) to find permanent work, needed something to pay the rent, and recognized that temping was a way to get my foot in the door of some notoriously hard-to-get-hired-into companies quickly (e.g. unionized organizations, such as the University I currently temp at, are very picky about their hiring and often have a ton of competition for any positions they post bc of the job security, high salaries, etc). I am temping because I know if I work my butt off in this position and really show what I can do, when the time comes for them to fill this position permanently, I will be at the top of their choice list. Bottom line is, I am willing to deal with some short-term frustration for long-term gain.

I'm not trying to be preachy here, or act like a know-it-all. I sure as HELL don't have all the answers (if I did, I would be super-rich by now). I can only speak from my own experience, and what has worked for me may not work for others. But I hope that my advice at least helps people who are job-searching realize they are not alone and that they might, in fact, be just steps away from success and just need to change their tactics or way of thinking a little bit.

There is nothing wrong with you. There is just something wrong with your strategy.

And that, in a nutshell, is the most important thing to keep in mind as you conduct your job-search.

I would love to hear about your job searching experiences! Please share your own experiences in the comments!

Practical vs. Passionate?

Considering all of the hurdles I've experienced in my professional life since I graduated from University (almost) 3 years ago, career and lifestyle is something that I think (and talk) about a lot. It hasn't been on my mind as much lately since I have been experiencing a tad more stability the past month. However, after talking with my old boss about a possible new permanent job opportunity coming up, and reading this blog post, and various discussions with friends and family has brought the issue to the forefront of my mind again.

I think the eternal struggle (I say eternal because I think it's something most of us struggle with at some point or another and there is no easy answer to it so it won't really ever be "solved") when it comes to career is whether or not to choose a "practical" path or a "passionate" path. Should I base my career goals around obtaining employment that is stable, secure and predictable? Or should I base my career goals around pursuing a passion, i.e. building a career around an activity that fulfills me?

I have struggled with this as well. I've had moments when I have experienced regrets over the path(s) I chose and wonder how my life would be different today if I had taken different directions. I have always loved writing, but in a way I feel like sort of a "late-bloomer" - I didn't really realize how fully I enjoyed it, or that I even had any kind of talent for it, until I was in my 20's. I don't think I even fully realized that I could write AS a career! I didn't know you could make a living from writing blogs and articles, and offering copywriting and editing services! I sometimes wonder, if I had this knowledge back then, maybe I would be doing all or some of these things full-time now. Maybe I wouldn't have had the career struggles I have experienced. Not to mention wondering whether or not I'd actually have "what it takes" to be a full-time writer, or something else artistic.

But then I remember some of the other lessons that I've learned in the past few years. I have learned how much of a struggle it can be to run your own business, to work for yourself, to even get started. I have learned the value of job security (of knowing where you paycheque is coming from and knowing that it will come like clockwork every two weeks and it will be the same amount), of health benefits, of vacation and sick time. I have learned that I am not a very self-discplined person, and because of that I need to be accountable to someone else (a manager or team members) in order to meet deadlines in a productive manner. I have learned I enjoy having somewhere to "go" every day and a team to contribute to/collaborate with. I enjoy having a separate work and home life - I value my personal time and freedom, time with family and friends, and time to just "goof off", relax or go on little adventures - and I like knowing when exactly I can fit these things in.

Is the 9-5 routine boring sometimes? Of course. Is it sometimes frustrating not having complete control over your projects and dealing with the complicated bureaucracy that you have no control over? Of course. But the fact is, there are complications, bureaucracy and frustrations to any job whether you are your own boss or not. Whether you work for yourself or someone else, it's still a job. You are still working. To put it metaphorically, sure you could move to an exotic, exciting, faraway place (Paris, anyone?), but in the end you still need to pay bills, go grocery shopping and pay taxes.

In any case, a 9-5 job doesn't have to be boring. I have been fulfilled in some way by all of the jobs I've had and I have had some really fun, interesting experiences, projects to work on, and I've met amazing people. Sure, there have been things I haven't enjoyed too, but when it comes right down to it a job is what you make of it, and (as I mention in the previous paragraph) generally you cannot avoid the "shitty" side of working.

And when I really think about it, would I want to do something that I see as  a "fun hobby" for my job 24-7? I'm not so sure I would. I think what I like most about my creative hobbies is that I can indulge in them as much or as little as I want, and that I don't depend on them for anything other than personal pleasure. I like that I can submit 10 articles a month to publications, produce 20 drawings or paintings, or I can do NONE. It's all up to me and what makes me feel good. I think if I made my hobbies my "job", it would start to feel like just that to me - a "job". It would feel like work, not fun.

Further to that (according to another thing I've learned about myself), I don't really feel that I am passionate ENOUGH about any ONE thing to make it my full-time career. I have many passions -  or more specifically I have a little bit of passion for a bunch of different things, so it would be really tough for me to pick one thing, or to organize the motley bunch of passions that I have into some semblance of a career wherein I can actually pay my bills. I would end up working 5 little jobs, and that would stress me out even more than working one large one!

I'm not naive - I certainly see the benefits to being your own boss and doing what you love every day. Despite my caution about that type of lifestyle, there is still part of me that hasn't completely written off working for myself someDAY, or that isn't jealous of the bloggers I follow and their super-successful businesses. But the fact is, you never see the whole story of someone's life, only the parts they choose to share, and for that reason you should never use others' success and passion as a meter stick for your own.

What works for one person may not work for you - and I'm slowly coming to the realization that, for me, that's OK. I don't have to turn my writing or my art into a full-time career in order to feel accomplished. 9-5 may  not be for everyone, but for me the benefits far outweigh the frustrations. It's not about being "superwoman" or being "like

Who knows what the future will bring (yet another lesson I have learned), so who knows if I'll feel this way forever, or have the luxury of a secure 9-5 forever (probably not). But this is what I want right now. I'm quite happy with my practical career choice, and leaving my hobbies to indulge in at home when I have time. The fact is, if you are living the life that you want right now and that works best for you right now, you ARE living your passion - whether you are doing it in a cubicle in an office tower, or on a computer in your home.

Grab that cash with both hands, and make a stash

I hate money. And I don't really understand it.

Well, I think what I don't really understand is how people use it.

I've noticed a trend in the blogosphere along these lines lately. There are many bloggers that I follow who seem to have an endless supply of money. I say "seem" to because I really have no idea if they actually do have an endless supply of money, and in fact, most of these people are ones I'd assume would NOT have such a thing.

Yet, here they are, discussing the new clothes, house, pet, car, computer, ipad, or whatever they have just bought. Some of them seem to be out shopping and buying hundreds of dollars of new things EACH WEEK.

If they are not talking about buying "things", they are taking trips to faraway places (seemingly) every few months - jetting off to New York for fashion week, jetting to San Fransisco to visit a friend, taking shopping trips to Paris (then proceeding to post all their purchases from Louis Vuitton in enviable photo montages).

It just makes me wonder - WHERE DO THEY GET THE MONEY FOR THIS?! I certainly can't afford to jet off wherever I want on a trip once a year or buy new clothes and electronics every week. Mind you, I'm working a temp's wage right now but that's not even the point (there are certainly enough examples in the world of people who are living the lives they want, while on a tight budget).

How am I SO different from these people? Do they just make enough money that they have enough disposable income to buy these extra things? Are they spending money they don't have? Do they get "income boosts" from other sources (i.e. spouse, parents, inheritance, small side-business, etc)? I'm sure depending on the person, it could be any of the above, and if it is, I can more clearly see how they are able to spend money every other week on new stuff.

But, with some of them you have to wonder - I still can't help thinking to myself, "this person is a blogger/employee at a non-profit/insert other non-well-paying job here...how can they realistically have that much to spend?". I mean, these people must all have bills, same as me! They must have rent/mortgage to pay, just like me!

Am I just horrible at budgeting? Am I just more financially irresponsible than these people? I somehow doubt it; I'm certainly not the Queen of Budgeting but for the most part I'm financially responsible and careful about where my money goes (even more so since dealing with a huge pay cut the past 3 or so months). And, everyone knows that in our "credit-hog" culture it is all too easy to spend money without thinking about it or dealing with the consequences. But I still don't understand how it's possible sometimes. And there is just something that irks me about seeing post after post of "look at all the beautiful, expensive designer things I own and how cool they make me look".

I should say that I realize it's not any of my business how other people spend their money, and I want to make it clear that if you earn your money in an honourable way and you want to reward yourself once in a while, that is totally and completely understandable. I'm not knocking anyone for buying themselves things. Trust me, if I had more disposable income I would be doing the same thing! I also realize it's a no-brainer that what we see from the outside looking in on a person's life is nowhere near the whole story. Many of these people probably ARE spending more than they should and are in dire financial straights.

So, maybe I'm just jealous or being too critical or something, I dunno. I'm probably being too harsh because I wish I didn't have to stress about money so much. I'm sure most of these people I'm wailing on are just resourceful and good at saving money, and I should just get better at it. But I just can't help but wonder if I missed the memo.

Am I totally alone here? Has anyone else noticed this trend in blogs or IRL? Do you sometimes wonder how others do it?

The Middle

People of the Internet - lend me your advice!! (would'ya?). I'm trying to make a major decision, and in true me fashion, I'm having trouble with it. I've talked to friends and family members already, but sometimes it's good to get points of view from completely objective people who don't really know you, who have nothing to gain or lose and have no emotions tied up in the decision (though even if you know me personally, I still welcome your opinion).

I have contemplated going back to school for a while now. My struggle finding a job in Public Relations (which is what I actually have a degree in) has opened my eyes to the fact that I'm not sure the field is entirely for me, and I'm also in the crappy position of not having enough experience, but no one willing to GIVE me the experience I need. I'm stuck. So, I feel like I need a change and that I need to upgrade my skills; switch gears a bit or maybe start over. It's a good time to do it as I'm single and don't really have any obligations tying me down (no mortgage, car or kids). I also am still young enough that going back to school won't be an enormous adjustment and when I get out I'll still have a good 30 years of career-building to look forward to.

However, I'm very torn as to what kind of education I should get. At this moment, I'm torn between two completely different possibilities - two possibilities that each have their own merits and their own disadvantages.

On the one hand, I could go back to college (not University) and take a 2 year diploma in Graphic Design, which is something I already have experience in, is related to my existing degree, and is something I think I could be really good at (it's already been proven that I have the basic skills and talent to do well in such a field). This is the main possibility I've been considering up until now. On the other hand, I could take a more ambitious route and take a Bachelors degree in Nursing, which is a field I don't have as much experience in, but do think it would be a rewarding field that could open up a lot of interesting doors for me. My current temp job is actually at a local University in the School of Nursing, funnily enough, and I guess interacting with the students and faculty and doing some research into the field has sort of opened my eyes to this possibility (and perhaps it's not a coincidence that I ended up working there??? Hmmm...)

I have gone over and over and over this in my mind and I'm just not getting anywhere. This is where you come in - I would really appreciate any advice, comments or insights that any of you can provide in the comments below. I realize many of you may not have any experience or insight into EITHER field, but you still may have a unique perspective or remind me of some points I'm not considering! One option I've considered is applying to one and if that doesn't work out then pursuing the other option (for example, attempting to get into Nursing - the more competitive of the two - and if I don't get in, then pursuing GD), but I just don't know.

Here I will list the positive and negative points for each option that I'm currently considering:

GRAPHIC DESIGN: *smaller risk*
- shorter program (would be out by age 29, less investment)
- less expensive (but depends on what program and expenses - may have to get a new laptop, buy software, etc, and this could all add up; plus it could generally be harder to get work in the field, and chances are starting salaries would be medicore - could be harder to pay off debt)
- already have a base of skills and experience; would be fairly easy to apply and get in
- passion for the field (doing something creative professionally really appeals to me, as well as eventually cutting myself off from "the man" and working for myself); and could combine with other passions - writing, blogging, fashion - to develop some interesting projects or offer some valuable services; plus I like the idea of working//collaborating with other creative people
- could complete program away or at home
- no opportunities to study/volunteer abroad, which is something I'd like to do

NURSING: *bigger risk*
- longer program (4 years vs. 2 - would be age 31 when completed)
- more expensive (but pretty much guaranteed a job with a good salary upon graduation, and this is a field that will only grow and create more jobs)
- no previous experience (I've barely been in a hospital my entire life)
- could be very hard to get into the program (haven't taken science courses since high school and even then they weren't my favourite, there would most likely be an interview so I'd have to prove why I should be chosen over others; plus there are limited spots available so could end up on a wait list)
- not sure I have the passion for it or would be "cut out" for it (like that I would be able to help people and would be positively contributing to society, but don't feel it's a "calling" for me - also it's a tough job (could involve shift work, on your feet all day, dealing with emotional issues like death and serious illness, not to mention gross things like "bodily fluids", touching total strangers, etc) *I do feel, however, that I could develop a passion for this field (but there's of course the worry that this wouldn't happen and I'd end up hating it)*
- could complete the program anywhere and work anywhere upon graduation; also like the idea of being able to volunteer/study abroad (e.g. health initiatives in Africa, research projects); further to this my mom is a nurse, so she could be a great resource/contact, and my brother/sister-in-law could as well (they both work at the BC Cancer Agency - sister-in-law as Assistant to the Nursing Director), and I could talk to profs/staff through my work to gain insight into whether it would be a good choice for me
- could be an interesting lifelong career (don't necessarily have to work in a hospital - could do research, admin work, combine with current PR degree, start my own business, write books - lots of opportunity to grow)

That's all I can think of so far. I think the crux of this debate is whether I should take a smaller risk (i.e. choose the "safer" option) and avoid a lot of extra work and stress (though there's no guarantee of that), or take a bigger risk and (possibly) get bigger rewards? Or maybe there are other fields related to the above that might be a good fit for me but I'm just not aware of them or thinking of them? Have at it in the comments!

So, which one would you pick if you were me??

(very much appreciate the comments in advance)

*Not sure if you noticed, but I didn't post yesterday - and frankly, this posting every day thing is just too much for me, so I'm not gonna do it anymore. I'm still participating in NaBloPoMo, but will only post when I have something of value to say. This makes much more sense, and really who cares as long as you're blogging?*

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

So, officially have two days down at the new (temp) job, and honestly it's not going the best so far. The gals in the office are nice, walking to work has been awesome, and I finally have at least a little bit of money coming in.

However, my brain is also ready to explode from all the information it has taken in, I'm feeling very stupid and frustrated because I can't answer any questions and I don't know where the bleep anything is.

Overall the best way to describe the way I'm feeling is this: lost.

I'm feeling lost right now.

I realize I just started the new job and this feeling will pass with time - lord knows I've been the "new" person enough times to know this - but that's cold comfort when you're in the "newbie" state of mind (not New York, New-Bie).

And to tell you the truth, I'm not just feeling lost in this job, I'm feeling lost in life. Period. I've been keeping my eye out on marketing/communications jobs listings in my area and making note of ones that sound interesting, since as of now I'm not planning on staying where I am forever. But nothing has really caught my eye. No jobs have jumped out at me from the screen and made me think, "wow! That sounds perfect for me!" or "that sounds really fun/rewarding/interesting, etc". There has been a few that have made me think, "that sounds...ok/pretty good/not bad, etc", but no "wow's".

Now, I'm a realist. I realize it's hard to find a "wow/perfect" job, and most people never find it. I know I should be content with having any job. I also realize I'm only 25 and have "lots" of time to figure this out (or at least that's what other people tell me all the time). But the fact is I'm not content with "just having a job" anymore. And sure, right now I'm only 25, but this is the time in my life when I should be cultivating a career and laying the groundwork for future success. And that's just not happening.

And the more I think about it, the more jobs I peruse, and the more people I talk to, the more I realize that the issue is not the jobs.

The issue is not that there are no good jobs out there right now for me, or no good jobs period. The issue is I HAVE NO SWEET CLUE WHAT JOB I REALLY WANT OR WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

This is nothing new; I've never claimed to have my life all figured out or to have a plan for what dreams to follow. I have NEVER really known what I want to do. But by the time I finished my Public Relations degree, I thought it was a field I could see myself in. I thought I could make a career out of it, and that maybe (just maybe) I had found my niche (or at least close enough to it that I could be satisfied). But now I'm not so sure. Now I'm faced with feeling lukewarm about any job in this field that I stumble upon, being close to 26 years old and not really having any concrete experience in the field, and therefore being denied access to opportunities that could potentially give me more experience...because I don't have enough experience.

Capiche?

Anyway, the point is I JUST DON'T KNOW. In a way, I'm glad I am doing temp work right now because I'm thinking this is maybe a good time for me to reexamine my professional life. Maybe it's time for a change. I've been focusing on a field because that's what my degree is in (basically) and it's not working; so perhaps it's a sign that it's not right for me.

The trouble is I have no clue what IS right for me. I know what I like - I like to write, I like blogging and connecting with people through social media, I like mobility and freedom, I like helping people and feeling valuable/dependable, I like challenges, I like to try new things, I like to be creative and to use new, unique methods for completing tasks. I also know what I don't like - I don't like monotony, I don't like people looking over my shoulder while I work, I don't like close-mindedness or rigidness, I don't like manipulation or secrecy, and I don't like bureaucracy or hierarchy.

It's pretty much impossible to find a job that allows all of the above. And even if it were possible, I would have no idea what the actual job would look like, what it would be called or where it would be. The more I think about it, the more I think I should and could go into business for myself. I'm very attracted to the freedom of this option, being my own boss and being able to control what work I do and when, and being able to have a more personal connection to my clients or whomever I "serve".

However, working for yourself also means saying "bye bye" to financial stability and probably having a lot of doors slammed in your face before any are opened widely. The fear of failure is terrifying. Besides, aside from the fears, if you are going to start a business or start a new career period, you have to know WHAT kind of business or new career you want to start. Knowing what you like and don't like, and what your strengths and weaknesses are isn't enough. You have to know what shape and title should be attached to your personal set of strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. You have to know how to combine your desires and your qualities into a particular vocation. And (I hate to sound like a broken record, but) I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I don't mean to complain or whine about how hard my life is and WAH WAH WAH. I have a very good life and for the most part I am happy that I have ANY job. But I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing. That there are opportunities out there for me if I only knew where to look and what to look for. When it comes right down to it, I don't just want a JOB. I want a CAREER. I want a PASSIONATE PROFESSIONAL LIFE. I know it's silly and completely counterintuitive to the inate unfairness of life, but I just want to feel like I'm doing something important with my time and that I'm making enough money to be comfortable, but that I'm doing it for some valuable reason.

I'm basically just venting here; sending my worries and thoughts into the "void", but I would also love some feedback. Any advice, thoughts, suggestions you might have about how to get out of this funk, things I can try to get a better idea of what jobs I might be good at or what skills I can cultivate further and eventually develop into a career...anything really! Please share. I need direction. If nothing else, it's helpful to hear I'm not alone and hopeless.

THIS is why I have a sore throat. And in case you didn't know, there are no paid sick days with temp work.

Who Are You? (I Really Wanna Know)

I applied for a job yesterday that recommended I list my "Myers Briggs Type" in my application, since it is a position that requires writing/editing/research skills. I was intrigued, both because I had never been asked to submit such a thing for a job application, and also because I have always wondered what my type is and this would be a good excuse to find out!

Here is my result: I am INFJ - Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging

I am sometimes skeptical of these "personality tests"; you have to wonder how accurate they really are and more to that what the point is. Googling my Type yielded various definitions, with different titles (including Counselor, Protector, etc) so it's hard to say what the exact definition of my Type is. However, generally I found the main traits listed for my Type match my actual personality quite accurately. I was pleasantly surprised.

Here are some of the traits that I felt were most accurate (taken from this profile which puts me in the category "The Protectors"):

* take things in primarily via intuition; know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand; put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions
* protective of their inner selves; deep, complex, quite private and typically difficult to understand; hold back part of themselves, can be secretive.
* perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential; rarely at complete peace with themselves; believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments; have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families
* place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world; constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives; not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities (that's not true - I'm good at spending money! I'm also good at eating, which is a very practical daily necessity!)
* are usually right, and they usually know it (hah! Well, not going to argue with that!)
* gentle, caring, artistic, creative; genuinely warm; good listener
* hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring; concerned for people's feelings, try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone; very sensitive to conflict, which may drive them into a state of agitation or charged anger; tend to internalize conflict and experience health problems as a result; don't believe in compromising their ideals; take commitments seriously; seek long-term relationships but can easily move on after a relationship is ended.
* usually works in areas where they can be creative and independent; natural affinity for art, not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks.

Obviously, it can be hard to be objective when it comes to your own personality, but for the most part I feel I'm a very self-aware person who is accepting of both her strengths and weaknesses and I would say all of the above is BANG ON.

I find this so interesting! I also think it's interesting that these types of tests are not used more often. WHY have I never been asked to submit this information in a job application before? If you think about it, these standardized tests can be a more accurate portrait of a person and their strengths/weaknesses than a cover letter and resume because they are more objective.

Obviously, these tests are not completely unbiased because there is no guarantee the "testee" (tee hee) is answering the questions honestly, but at the same time, the questions are in such a format that it would be hard for the applicant to manipulate their answers in order to come out with a specific result, i.e. the type that the employer is most looking for. For one, the test is made up of "yes" and "no" questions that give no indication of what category your answer will place you in (unlike other tests, such as multiple choice, which I would say are easier to predict), and secondly there is no way of  knowing what Type the employer is even looking for, if they are in fact looking for a particular one.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that all employers should be requiring applicants to complete the Myers Briggs test. All I'm saying is the test could be an easy and interesting way to find out more about a person's character and to remove some of the bias that exists in the hiring process (on both sides).

Human beings are obviously much more complex than a 72-question test can reveal - a lot of how we act depends on the circumstances and mood of individual situations. But I also feel that sometimes 'who we are' is staring us right in the face but we don't see it until it's revealed in an honestly answered questionnaire.

Fun factoid: Only about 1% of the population are the INFJ type! How cool is that?! So, either I'm really special or really "special", if you know what I mean.

Have you ever taken the Myers Briggs test? What is your Type? Is it accurate? How would you feel about including your Type in a job application?

If you wish to take the test, you can do so here - give it a try; you might learn something about yourself!

It's My Party, and I'll Cry If I Want To

Today is sort of my last day at work. I say sort of because next Friday (Sept 3rd) is my last day in the office, but tonight is my "Goodbye Party". Yes, my boss wanted to have a party for me to say goodbye (and not because she's just THAT happy to see me finally leave...though actually I don't know that 100%...hmm....)

Anyway...

This is why I'm going to miss working here - because I work with the kind of people who want to throw a PARTY for me. ME! I've never had this happen before - heck at my last job I was barely given the space/time to clean out my desk. Generally, I hate being the centre of attention so at first the suggestion of having a party just for me made me cringe, but for the most part it made me all warm and fuzzy inside. I felt like having a Sally Field moment and yelling "You like me! You really like me!" (but I didn't - at least not out loud).

I feel very lucky that I even have a job, let alone one that has allowed me the freedom, support and genuine caring that I've experienced here. Of course, I don't technically HAVE a job anymore, which doesn't make me feel so lucky, but I'm still grateful for the experience I have had here. Honestly I wasn't that drawn to this job when it first fell into my lap about 15 months ago - frankly, I took it because I was unemployed and desperately broke so I really only saw it as a way to pay the bills. Little did I know how much I would learn about myself (my strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, etc), how openly the "family" would welcome me into the fold, how patient everyone would be while I attempted to fill some large shoes (whose owner had gone on mat leave), and how many fun, creative projects I would have the chance to work on.

In addition, I had no idea that my boss would turn out to be the best I've ever had. She has always made me feel valued, cared for, productive, and trusted, not to mention has always put my quality of life at the top of the list and in that vein has given me free time and space when I need it, no questions asked.

So, needless to say this party will be bittersweet for me. I'm not looking forward to leaving and I'll be sad to not be a part of this group anymore (I'll be sad to no longer have a job, period). However, I will still be helping them out on a contract basis here and there, so my foot will be kept in the door. And for the most part, I feel very positive about the whole thing because I'm very grateful I at least had this experience. I know first-hand how tough it is to find any job, let alone one that you enjoy and that allows you to work with people you enjoy as well. This is rare, and I'm privileged to have found it, even for a short time.

I've been feeling down lately about my job situation (or lack thereof), among other things and I'm very unsure of the future at the moment. But I'm determined to not to let this get me down. I have decided I'm going to try and stay positive no matter what. The drive for this comes from the gratefulness I feel re. the above, but also from a desire to come out on the other side rather than be mowed down.

I've been using various tactics to stay positive and one activity I've started doing that I would recommend to anyone is writing a list of "Affirmations" at the end of each day. This is a list of 10 positive things that happened that day and it's as simple as that. I started it as a way to train my brain to focus on the positive rather than the negative (which is tough for me as I tend to be naturally cynical and pessimistic). At first, I was worried it would be really hard to come up with 10 things every time and I decided I'd settle for coming up with more than one, but each day I have been able to draft a list quite quickly; I've found that once I start, the affirmations literally SPILL from my brain and out the pen! Even yesterday when I was feeling probably the most down I've felt all week and thought to myself "ugh, it's going to be tough to come up with 10 things tonight", I had 10 things listed in the blink of an eye! I was, and am, shocked at how such a small action can help so much.

It's sort of silly and there's no way of knowing whether it will actually help in the long run, but I truly think that if I keep it up, eventually my brain's thoughts will conform automatically to positive thinking, at least most of the time. If anything, it ends my day on a high note and allows me to go to sleep content and ready to tackle the morning, and that can never be a bad thing. I need all the positive thinking I can muster right now, and I am sure it will only come back to me in the long run.

Even if it doesn't, I will be satisfied just knowing I tried to fight the blues and had wonderful people behind me the entire time.

(This all being said, I'm still not looking forward to the "goodbye" part of the party. Ah well, at least there will be booze)

Money (it's a crime)

Money is a funny thing (at least that's what ABBA says). Funny is an appropriate descriptor because money is a good thing, but it's also bad; it exists in this kind of grey-limbo area in life where it brings everyone joy and pain in equal measure. Funny is also an appropriate descriptor because what I think of money is impossible to define - I both love and hate it all at the same time.

I got to thinking about money lately because, in the midst of the "epic of epic epicness" that is my job search, I finally came across a job that sounds perfect for me, is in line with my career goals, and I think I'd love to do. So, I'm sure you're thinking the same thing I am - there's gotta be a catch, right? I mean that's how life generally works. And you got it! The catch would be that the salary is approx. $6,000 less than what I'm making at my current job, and what I've become accustomed to making over the past 15 mths. Doesn't sound like a huge decrease? Do the math - it means bringing in approx. $500 less per month.

I had to think really hard - is this salary cut worth it to me? I did the number-crunching and there's no question that this pay cut would be tough and would mean cutting out a few expenses. This obviously is not ideal, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I would be very disappointed to give up the chance at a great job just because of the salary. Ultimately I decided that I can better handle a more frugal lifestyle than another random, crappy job that has nothing whatsoever to do with what I'm passionate about.

Obviously, the job isn't mine yet and maybe I won't even get it, but in any case it was an excuse to think about money and how I value it. It was eye-opening to actually write down the amounts I pay out and to what each month and add it all up. I would consider myself to be smart with money and I'm in pretty good shape financially compared to others my age - I'm not perfect but I don't have any student loan debt, don't own a car or a house, I live alone and therefore spend less on groceries and power, etc, I always pay my bills on time or early, and always pay more than the minimum payment on my credit cards (and pay on them twice per month rather than just once). But I've never really had a budget - I've kind of just paid things without recording or thinking much about the amounts - and the total of my monthly expenses surprised me once it stared me in the face.

If I do happen to be offered the aforementioned job*, I'm not going to lie, I would not be happy about having to make changes to my lifestyle and budget. I know it would be tough to get used to and I would most likely have to skip out on things I want to do because I wouldn't be able to afford them. However, I also think it would be liberating and educational - having less money would force me to look more closely at cash flow and be more responsible with it. It would force me to get more creative with "cutting corners" and ways to make extra cash on the side. It would force me to get real with the amount of debt I have, get more serious about paying off what I have before adding more, and get more serious about the future - savings, RRSP's, etc.

I guess money is a case of quality over quantity - it's not so much how much money you make, but how you spend it that counts. There's nothing wrong with spending money on a new top or magazine, as long as you prepare for that and don't do it all the time. Just like in dieting, spending is all about moderation. When it comes right down to it, I don't need much. And I'm guessing that buying fewer things will ultimately make me appreciate each thing all the more...

...though more than likely all of this is a bunch of bull, I'm completely delusional and/or overly optimistic, and will be crying into my food stamps about how broke I am in another month or two. I guess we'll see.

So, what are your thoughts? What financial challenges do you have? Do you keep a budget? How do you cut corners or work on the side to keep/make extra cash?

I think these song lyrics perfectly encapsulates my complex feelings/thoughts about money, so I thought I'd share:

'Money' - Pink Floyd
Money, get away
Get a good job with more pay
And your O.K.
Money, it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands
And make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream
Think I'll buy me a football team
Money get back
I'm all right Jack
Keep your hands off my stack
Money, it's a hit
Don't give me that
Do goody good bullshit
I'm in the hi-fidelity
First class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet
Money, it's a crime
Share it fairly
But don't take a slice of my pie
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil
Today
But if you ask for a raise
It's no surprise that they're
Giving none away
Away
Away
Away
Away...
*I guess we will see what happens! Don't worry - if I hear anything, you will too! I'll be shouting it from the rooftops*

Dream On

As you may or may not know, I'm currently looking for a job. Well, I have a job, but since I was filling in for someone while they were on mat leave and they are now back, it's sort of imperative that I get my butt out the door at least sometime soon. However, it's easier said than done. As you also may or may not know, I've been looking for a job for about 4 months now. This sucks. Especially for someone such as me who is not good at waiting.

Luckily my current boss is like, THE BEST BOSS EVER, so she's being very accommodating while I look for work. I'm basically allowed to stay until I find something else, which at the rate I'm going could be at least another month (ugh). So, thank goodness I'm not in the position I was last year in that I'm actually able to pay my rent (huzzah!). However it is taking longer than I would prefer.

So, as you might imagine, I kind of have jobs on the brain right now. Pretty anything job-related is on my mind. It's there right now, and probably will be another dozen or so times before I head home. My mind wandered the other day as it often does, and I started to think about "dream" jobs. Honestly I think "dream jobs" are not really realistic for most of us, and are frankly overrated. Ultimately I don't care where I work or what job I do as long as I enjoy it, have enough responsibility that I feel useful and productive, have freedom but also opportunities to collaborate with others, and have mobility. Obviously it's nice to make good money, too, though "good" in my case translates to being able to pay my bills in full and still have money left over to put some in savings, enjoy a trip here and there and being able to buy myself something if I really want it.

Still, it's fun to think about - what jobs would I love to do, if money and practicality were no object? With these factors eliminated, I would be doing a job purely out of a passion for it, and for the adventure and fun it brought me. Here's a few jobs that I think would be just awesome (in no particular order except in which they tumble from my brain, and thoughts rarely tumble from my brain in order so there you go):

1. Host of a travel tv show - ok, I'm guessing this would be at the top of the list for many people. And why wouldn't it?! How amazing would it be to stay in hotels, eat amazing food, get spa treatments, lounge by some of the best pools and beaches, and drink some of the best wine ALL FREAKING DAY! And all with VIP treatment...need I go on? (personally, I had me at "food"). Another job that would be very cool (and would fit in this category as well) would be a "hotel reviewer" - I'm pretty sure sites like Hotels.com and the like employ people to go stay in hotels around the world and then report back. I'd be quite happy to do this.

2. Pet-sitter - this might not be one that many others would choose, but I think it would be great. I love animals so getting to walk them and play and cuddle with them all day would be so much fun. I would even love to be a combination house-pet sitter professionally - I love houses, don't mind minor cleaning (and I'm good at it), plus there's the whole adventure and escapage of staying in someone else's home for a while and not having to worry about your own. Sure, it could be fairly thankless, taxing work at times (plus you could very easily be taken advantage of or be put in a hairy situation with some more 'exotic' pets) but you could certainly set boundaries for your work so it would only have to be as strenuous as you want it to be. Professional dog-walker could also be placed in this category (picking up poop is not fun, but let's be honest, pretty dogs are date magnets).

3. Butler - ok, I know you probably think I'm crazy for picking this one, but hear me out! I actually read an article recently in the Globe and Mail about a Canadian Butler "academy" and how real-life butlers are not so much considered "servants" as confidante's, companions and nurturers. As the article mentioned, at "butler school" nowadays you learn about "garment care and laundry, cigars and coffee, wine and mixology, event planning and first aid, even household mechanicals (that's fixing appliances) and private-aircraft management." Call me crazy but these are all skills I think would be interesting and handy to learn (minus the cigar thing)! I would feel a very smug about being able to install an airplane engine (can you install an engine? Is that the right word?) and put on a dinner party for 100 people, all in a day's work. Also, I'd feel ten times more intelligent and cultured than everyone else - I could speak in a hoity-toity English accent and say things like "quite" and people would think I'm quite charming. Plus, everyone knows butlers are privy to all of their employers nasty secrets and exploits, and who wouldn't want to (literally) be a fly on the wall in the home of rich people?

4. Taste-tester - I read a book recently that mentions a chocolate institute in the Caribbean that actually studies chocolate flavours, and they employ people to taste CHOCOLATE! Umm, so where do I sign up?! I'm sure they use similar testers at pretty much all food companies to make sure they are turning out a quality product. I love food and eating, so this would be the perfect job for me. Sure, I'd probably end up weighing about 300lbs, but I'd be happy. Call me, Cadbury!

I've always thought on some level that it would also be pretty cool to be a professional blogger or writer - to get up every day and not go into an office, but merely spend 10 minutes thinking up some mindless drivel and somehow forming it into a readable post (much like I do now), then go out the rest of the day and walk, eat, sit in Starbucks reading magazines, suntan, and shop. But I don't think either of us want that - I'd be forced to come up with constantly witty and engaging material, and you would be expected to...well, read it. What a nightmare.

If you had complete freedom of choice and money was no object, what job would YOU like to do?