Stay Crafty, My Friends

Found here

I have always been a creative person. When I was a kid, I spent an inordinate amount of time in my basement making things - drawing cartoons and fashion sketches, painting rocks, making crafts (don't worry, I did have friends). I was always one of the "artsy" girls in school - always first in line for any artistic extracurriculars like art clubs and fashion shows.

I do not have many regrets in life - I believe we do the best we can with the information we have at the time - but one major thing I am not happy about is the fact that I seem to have lost this part of myself. Well, not lost - I would still say I am creative (I am pursuing a freelance career in writing, so that's something) but just not in the same way.

I don't have the same passion and freedom of expression that I once had. I think a combination of increased life stress and responsibility (and therefore limited time) has doused that creative fire I once had. I have so little spare time sometimes that I often just want to use it to 'veg' and relax, not to sit and paint or make a craft. I hate this. I hate that I have become such a responsible adult that I have lost touch with my creative side.

Since I do feel a little bit of this creative fire still burns, I think I could find that passion again. I think I could find that drive to create again if I just dig hard enough, but sometimes I wonder - is it really possible to get back something that you have lost touch with (seemingly) so long ago? Is is really possible to go back to who you were, grab a little piece of it, and bring it into the present? And even if I can do this, would I be able to produce anything that is actually worthwhile, or am I too out of practice? Sometimes I wonder why I should even bother when it seems to be so much work, but if it is something I feel this disappointed about losing, isn't that a clue that it is something that I truly love?

This is something that I have been thinking a lot about lately, I suppose because the past few months have been particularly stressful ones in my life and I have been searching for relief and emotional therapy wherever I can find it. This, in addition to my issues with obtaining a permanent career forcing me to consider 'alternate' sources of income (hence the push for paying writing jobs) as well HOW exactly I want to bring in money...can I settle for a job that pays the bills, or do I have the confidence to go for a career that is built upon my passions?

I would love to join the ranks of these talented and creative gals with their Etsy shops and their cute, crafty projects. I feel like I could join them but I am not sure how, or if I have it in me. What would I even offer customers? What do I have a talent for that others would be attracted to enough to pay money for? Furthermore, where can I find the time to put the necessary effort into building such a career?

I suppose this post is just sort of a general musing about the state of my life at the moment and my fears and questions surrounding it, but I would love for those of you out there reading this who do own a creative business (full or part-time) to weigh-in! How do YOU do it? Do you think you can re-light a creative fire?

In conclusion, allow me to give kudos to those of you who DO run your own creative business, whether you make a living from it or not. You had a passion and you went for it and that deserves praise. There are so many, like me, who are either too scared or too lost to go for it (or who are not even sure they DO want it!) so you should be really proud of yourself.

Designers, artists, and generally crafty and creative mavens of the world - I salute you.

*Update: Check out this cool contest I just found out about today, related to this post -  'If You Could Start a Crafting Business Tomorrow What Would It Be?' 1 lucky grand-prize winner will be able to discuss their business idea with Ilasco in a 30-minute phone conversation! Plus she/he will receive a copy of Craft Inc. The 4 runners-up will also receive a copy of Craft Inc.

**Read the comments below the contest post to get some amazing business ideas!

Insane in the Membrane

Coincidence? I think not.

I have to be honest - I have been feeling anxious and stressed this past week or so. I'm not sure exactly why, but I think I can attribute it to various factors - generally speaking, I have been taking on a lot of new things, which is great and is something I love to do! But I think I spread myself a little too thin and exhausted my brain a bit.

Do you ever have phases like that? Where you feel mentally exhausted? I think we all do - really, it's a part of life - but it's important to pay attention to these times. Listen to what your body and mind are telling you - you will know in your gut if you are burned out and need to take a breather. I think my brain and body were giving me that message loud and clear Saturday night because I was up for hours just pacing restlessly, anxious and unable to sleep, with a sore throat and ear.

So, what did I do? I pulled out of a volunteer commitment that I made for early Sunday morning (I wasn't proud of this, but again, you have to listen to your body sometimes), slept in and spent the first part of the day just relaxing (i.e. watching a movie and laying down). I felt much better by the afternoon and definitely feel I was better equipped to tackle the week because of it.

If there is anything I have learned about myself as I've gotten older it is the importance of taking care of myself. I have discovered that - even though I am generally an active person who has to be "on-the-go" and have things to look forward to in order to be content - I am not someone who can go-go-go non-stop. I have to have balance in my life and I try to structure my time to ensure that I have this. Obviously this is sometimes easier said than done, but I try my best.

I have learned to place "quality" over "quantity" in terms of the activities I pursue in my life. What good is having 50 things on your plate if you only feel luke-warm about each one? Why not have 5 things that you feel really good about? Does that not make more sense? To me it does, but for some reason our culture (and I would say this is particularly a North American affliction) has this focus on doing MORE - like the more busy you are, the more productive you are, the more you contribute to society.  It's like we are all competing to have the fullest resume or the most experiences to brag about so we are pressured to just keep running on to the next thing.

There is this implication that if you take time for yourself and time to relax that you are somehow lazy or selfish, and I just don't get it. Taking time for yourself does not make you a bad person. If you sincerely feel you cannot follow through with something 100%, then it's ok to say so. Obviously I would never advocate making a habit of pulling out of commitments or dropping plans with friends at the last minute (that's just rude), but there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first once in a while.

If rushing around makes you happy then, by all means, do it! But it sure doesn't make me happy. It makes me stressed. I would love to be one of those people who can "do it all", never rest and seem ever-content, but I just can't. I am an anxious person by nature, so it takes conscious effort on my part to slow my brain down and "eat the elephant one bite at a time", as my mother says.

The thing with relieving stress is, it doesn't have to be a lot of work. There are a lot of small steps you can take to bring a little more balance, peace and calm into your life.

Here are some of the ways I like to relieve stress:

* Schedule at least one night per week to stay home and either relax or get things done around the house. Also, schedule at least one night per week for a social engagement - doing something fun with a friend, family member or the boy. If I have a day that I know will be rushed and busy, I try to keep the next day for relaxation and rest. This seems like a simple thing, but I think a lot of people forget that THEY are the ones that control their schedule - their schedule doesn't control them. It is your choice how much free time you have when it comes right down to it (obviously if you are a parent or have a high-profile job, this doesn't really apply to you, but free will still comes into it on some scale).

* Read a fashion magazine or book

* Sit outside and "people-watch"

* Cross something off my "to-do" list that I have procrastinated on for a while (it can sometimes take some extra motivation for this one, but if you can muster it up you will feel really good afterwards)

* Make something - a craft, paint or draw something, etc

* Go outside - a walk around the block, a hike, a road trip - something unstructured with no particular schedule or agenda except to move and take in the scenery

* Go see a movie I have been looking forward to, or watch one at home (some fav pick-me-up films: You've Got Mail, Julie & Julia, Juno, Yes Man, Kung Fu Panda). Or watch a fun tv show (some favs: Friends, Sex and the City, Glee, currently watching Season 1 of Angel with the boy-never seen it!-and enjoying it very much)

* Put music on and dance around my apartment

* Cuddle an animal

* Visit a funny and cute website and browse the videos and photos. These are a few of my current favourites (be careful - this could easily end up wasting several hours)

* Bake or a cook - this can be very therapeutic - especially if you are doing it for no other reason than to eat something tasty

* Write a blog post!

What I do to relieve stress really depends on my mood, the weather, and circumstances, of course, but these are a few things I try to incorporate into my week, every week. Everyone should have times where they don't HAVE to be anywhere or do anything, and they are not obligated to another person so that they can just enjoy their own company and renew their spirit and mind.

Obviously, different people need different amounts of stress-relief and "down-time" but I do think it's something that everyone needs at some point or another (a lot of people just don't realize just how much they need it).

What about you - what do you do to relieve stress or relax? Do you find that you like being constantly busy, or do you like to try your best to find balance like I do? Any stress-relief tips?

Spread the Love

I really liked the idea I read about on this blog, and decided to participate.

I don't know about you, but I tend to be one of those people who is really hard on themselves. I tend to set the bar high and rag on myself if I don't meet it. But this is something I have been working hard to change. I have been trying to cut myself a break once in a while, and I think this is something that is important for everyone.

It is really important to focus on the positives as well as the negatives - sure, you made some mistakes and did some stupid things, but what are the things you have ACCOMPLISHED today/this week/this month? What goals did you set that you DID meet? What are the things you LIKE about how you look and act and think?

Everyone has gifts, qualities to be proud of, and it is important to celebrate these. That goes for physically as well as emotionally - many of us, women especially, are far too negative about their looks and spend more time comparing to non-realistic ideals then celebrating our own unique beauty. This just creates a vicious cycle of negativity and pretty soon that's all you focus on - and you begin to wonder why you are not attracting positive things in life (positive attracts positive = true story, although cheesy).

Look, you are human. You ARE going to make mistakes. You ARE going to mess things up. You are going to have a blond moment or two. It's just a matter of when. And it's ok! Everyone else does it too! And it doesn't mean you are a bad person, it means you are normal. The sooner you accept the fact that you are going to mess up, the sooner you will be able to embrace who you are.

Again, I am far from being an expert here, but I am working on it. I figured this challenge would help with that.

I hope that you will participate too, and link up here with Victoria with me. Lets spread some positivity!

I love myself because...I am open-minded and adventurous. I care about my friends and family and make an effort to be there for them whenever I can. I am creative - I am great at thinking up concepts for events, decorating, putting outfits together, thinking of cute plays-on-words, I play piano and write. I am constantly thinking about how I can improve and grow -  I have a thirst for learning and knowledge. I have great hair and teeth. I may be short, but I like my small but curvy frame! I have the ability to empathize and feel compassion. My attitude - I never give up, I never show if I am stressed, I am flexible and adaptable, I always try my best, I am level-headed and down-to-earth. I am self-aware and have a goofy sense of humour (don't take things too seriously). I value honesty and try to use it whenever I can. I like to support anyone and anything that is "different" or outside the norm - I like to give people a chance. I do not hold a grudge - I get over stuff very quickly and always look for what I can learn from an experience.

Please make sure you focus on the positive this weekend -

I can almost guarantee you will be happier come Monday!

Practical vs. Passionate?

Considering all of the hurdles I've experienced in my professional life since I graduated from University (almost) 3 years ago, career and lifestyle is something that I think (and talk) about a lot. It hasn't been on my mind as much lately since I have been experiencing a tad more stability the past month. However, after talking with my old boss about a possible new permanent job opportunity coming up, and reading this blog post, and various discussions with friends and family has brought the issue to the forefront of my mind again.

I think the eternal struggle (I say eternal because I think it's something most of us struggle with at some point or another and there is no easy answer to it so it won't really ever be "solved") when it comes to career is whether or not to choose a "practical" path or a "passionate" path. Should I base my career goals around obtaining employment that is stable, secure and predictable? Or should I base my career goals around pursuing a passion, i.e. building a career around an activity that fulfills me?

I have struggled with this as well. I've had moments when I have experienced regrets over the path(s) I chose and wonder how my life would be different today if I had taken different directions. I have always loved writing, but in a way I feel like sort of a "late-bloomer" - I didn't really realize how fully I enjoyed it, or that I even had any kind of talent for it, until I was in my 20's. I don't think I even fully realized that I could write AS a career! I didn't know you could make a living from writing blogs and articles, and offering copywriting and editing services! I sometimes wonder, if I had this knowledge back then, maybe I would be doing all or some of these things full-time now. Maybe I wouldn't have had the career struggles I have experienced. Not to mention wondering whether or not I'd actually have "what it takes" to be a full-time writer, or something else artistic.

But then I remember some of the other lessons that I've learned in the past few years. I have learned how much of a struggle it can be to run your own business, to work for yourself, to even get started. I have learned the value of job security (of knowing where you paycheque is coming from and knowing that it will come like clockwork every two weeks and it will be the same amount), of health benefits, of vacation and sick time. I have learned that I am not a very self-discplined person, and because of that I need to be accountable to someone else (a manager or team members) in order to meet deadlines in a productive manner. I have learned I enjoy having somewhere to "go" every day and a team to contribute to/collaborate with. I enjoy having a separate work and home life - I value my personal time and freedom, time with family and friends, and time to just "goof off", relax or go on little adventures - and I like knowing when exactly I can fit these things in.

Is the 9-5 routine boring sometimes? Of course. Is it sometimes frustrating not having complete control over your projects and dealing with the complicated bureaucracy that you have no control over? Of course. But the fact is, there are complications, bureaucracy and frustrations to any job whether you are your own boss or not. Whether you work for yourself or someone else, it's still a job. You are still working. To put it metaphorically, sure you could move to an exotic, exciting, faraway place (Paris, anyone?), but in the end you still need to pay bills, go grocery shopping and pay taxes.

In any case, a 9-5 job doesn't have to be boring. I have been fulfilled in some way by all of the jobs I've had and I have had some really fun, interesting experiences, projects to work on, and I've met amazing people. Sure, there have been things I haven't enjoyed too, but when it comes right down to it a job is what you make of it, and (as I mention in the previous paragraph) generally you cannot avoid the "shitty" side of working.

And when I really think about it, would I want to do something that I see as  a "fun hobby" for my job 24-7? I'm not so sure I would. I think what I like most about my creative hobbies is that I can indulge in them as much or as little as I want, and that I don't depend on them for anything other than personal pleasure. I like that I can submit 10 articles a month to publications, produce 20 drawings or paintings, or I can do NONE. It's all up to me and what makes me feel good. I think if I made my hobbies my "job", it would start to feel like just that to me - a "job". It would feel like work, not fun.

Further to that (according to another thing I've learned about myself), I don't really feel that I am passionate ENOUGH about any ONE thing to make it my full-time career. I have many passions -  or more specifically I have a little bit of passion for a bunch of different things, so it would be really tough for me to pick one thing, or to organize the motley bunch of passions that I have into some semblance of a career wherein I can actually pay my bills. I would end up working 5 little jobs, and that would stress me out even more than working one large one!

I'm not naive - I certainly see the benefits to being your own boss and doing what you love every day. Despite my caution about that type of lifestyle, there is still part of me that hasn't completely written off working for myself someDAY, or that isn't jealous of the bloggers I follow and their super-successful businesses. But the fact is, you never see the whole story of someone's life, only the parts they choose to share, and for that reason you should never use others' success and passion as a meter stick for your own.

What works for one person may not work for you - and I'm slowly coming to the realization that, for me, that's OK. I don't have to turn my writing or my art into a full-time career in order to feel accomplished. 9-5 may  not be for everyone, but for me the benefits far outweigh the frustrations. It's not about being "superwoman" or being "like

Who knows what the future will bring (yet another lesson I have learned), so who knows if I'll feel this way forever, or have the luxury of a secure 9-5 forever (probably not). But this is what I want right now. I'm quite happy with my practical career choice, and leaving my hobbies to indulge in at home when I have time. The fact is, if you are living the life that you want right now and that works best for you right now, you ARE living your passion - whether you are doing it in a cubicle in an office tower, or on a computer in your home.

I'm an "inextrovert"! What about you?

Man, I hate Mondays. I hate them even more after staying up until midnight to watch the Golden Globes. I always say I'm not going to stay up and watch the whole thing ("ok, next commerical break, I'm going to bed...") but I always end up doing it. I live-tweeted throughout the whole evening, which was actually fun! It was like sitting around chatting about the show in real time with your friends. Plus, making fun of celebrities is always a good time. I love how Ricky Gervais can make them squirm! Mwahaha.

Anyhoo, one thing I do like about Monday's is that it means the "Monday Morning Motivator" will be in my email inbox! I signed up for this weekly email a while back when I was researching career coaching. It's sort of an email "newsletter" sent out on Mondays by CareerJoy, a "Canadian Career Coaching Company", and it always contains a short headliner advice article that is usually an interesting read.

This week's email headliner, entitled "Yes, but I'm an introvert...", caught my eye. The article states:

"Are you an introvert or an extrovert? If you are in introvert you are in good company. Introverts make up around 25% of the population. Some famous introverts include, Barbara Walters, Warren Buffet & Pierre Trudeau. Carl Jung defined introverts as "inward turning" and extroverts as "outward turning." Introverts are more energized alone, extroverts are energized by people. The classic myth is introverts are not as good with people, as extroverts are. We are all social beings, introverts can in many ways be better with people, they tend to be better listeners, more creative and more analytical. There are many advantages to being "inward turning" I would argue that it has never been a better time to be an introvert. With the rise of social media tools like, blogging. Linkedin, twitter and Facebook, great platforms for the person who is more introverted by nature. Social media is an "introverts" paradise."

This article mainly caught my eye because I've always considered myself to be an introvert. But on the other hand, I would consider myself to be an extrovert in some situations. Generally, I'm a shy person who is really uncomfortable approaching strangers and it takes me a while to warm up to people. However, I also enjoy socializing, meeting new people and having conversations. Which side of me predominates really depends on the dynamics and circumstances of each individual situation. I cannot be around people all the time (I have to have alone time and some social situations give me major anxiety) but I also can't be alone all the time either (I start to go stir-crazy if I don't socialize for a while and I love just being "out" with people where things are happening).

I know this is a complete contradiction but I'm willing to bet that the majority of people are this way, i.e. a mixture of intro and extroversion.

The thing that really gets me is that being introverted in our society is sort of seen as a negative thing. As Alan says above, "The classic myth is introverts are not as good with people, as extroverts are", and as someone who has been  classified as "introverted" pretty much her entire life, this stereotype is frustrating. (this post sort of relates to this one, where I discuss my Myers-Briggs personality type).

In our society, introversion is generally associated with anti-socialness (or at least poor social skills), being uptight and conservative, risk-averse, and agoraphobic, whereas extroversion is associated with being fun, talkative, adventurous and charismatic. For some reason, if you have a quieter personality and are a listener or thinker rather than a talker, than you are seen as wierd, mysterious, or as an outsider. Someone who doesn't like people and isn't open to new ideas and experiences. Just try Googling "introvert" and check out the image results (lets just say many of them are depressing).

I have struggled with shyness and self-consciousness my entire life, and I still struggle with it. I've come a long way and I become more and more ok with it as I get older but this is probably something I will always have with me. I'm becoming more and more ok with the fact that it's part of who I am but I can't lie, it's frustrating not being one of those people who (seemingly) feels comfortable talking to anyone about anything.

Much of the frustration that comes from being a "quiet" person stems not so much from wanting to change this about myself but from the judgments that people make because of it. I've had so many people assume that I just don't like people, that I have nothing important to say, that I'm a "goody-goody" who is timid and weak and obviously those things are completely off-base. I have had people even assume that shyness is something that I chose, that I can just snap my fingers and magically be outgoing all the time. Trust me, if it were that easy I would have done it by now. I do agree that my shyness is something I can work on overcoming by putting myself outside my comfort zone (and I try to do that as much as possible), but it's a lot easier said than done.

I just think there is something to be said for being quiet at times. I think there is something to be said for holding some things back, for thinking and listening before talking, for observing rather than interacting, for taking time to recharge and reflect, for having fewer, closer friends rather than a humongous social circle. It doesn't mean I won't chew you out or stand up for myself/loved ones if I feel the need. And you might find this hard to believe, but I actually love going on adventures, having opinionated heated debates, and I've partied too hard many times (hey I've got "skydiving" on my "30 B4 30" list, ok?)

I'm sorry if this sounds sort of "rant-y" as I didn't intend it to be. I'm not trying to get on a soap-box here and rant about how no one understands me. I just wanted to say that (as a traditionally "introverted" person) I have had many people make assumptions about me based on that alone. I may be an introvert, but that's not all I am. And extroverts are much more than their general personalities, too. Human beings are extremely complex creatures and it's not as simple as sticking a label on someone's shoulder and calling it a day.
In any case, regardless of what categories you do or don't fit into, it's not about the cards you are dealt it's how you play them.

Just remember, in games of chance (like life) it is often the quiet, unassuming ones you have to watch out for! (mwahaha) *wink*

(Don't) Stop Til You Get Enough

I'm not a party animal. I'm also not a homebody. I'm somewhere in between (a tyan? a mebo?).

I like to have balance in my life, and that means making time for relaxing as well as working, watching tv as well as cleaning the house, hanging out with friends and spending time alone. I go a little nuts if I have too much of either side, i.e. too much time at home or by myself, or too much time out with other people. I need to temper each side with a little of the other to stay sane.

There are times when I wish I were a party animal, or that I was one of those people that can go and go and go and never (seemingly) take a break. I see people like that and I think "how the bleep do they do that?!"

But when it comes right down to it, balance is something I feel everyone needs. Maybe not as much as I do but in some measure. The fact is, those people that seem to be "doing it all" with so much ease will burn out eventually. It may not happen right away and they might not see it coming, but it will happen.

I've been in that place, feeling burned out, and it's not fun. It's also not healthy and makes you feel and look like crap, not to mention affects your performance and threatens the quality of time and effort you give to all those activities you are (ironically) racing around trying to get done. I also have friends that do this and they are some of the most unreliable, hard-to-get-a-hold of people I've ever met (although I love them). What good is it checking off all those things on your "to-do" list if you only talk to or see your friends (or have fun) once in a while, read: when all your to-do's are completed.

On the other hand, I know people who are "all play and no work", that never seem to do anything productive with their time (except drink and maybe stalk people on facebook...oh and eat all their parent's food) and I don't agree with this either. You know you can never rely on them for anything, except maybe relying on you for something.

I sympathize with both sides, but never want to be too much of either. Hence the need for balance.

This all being said, I would categorize myself as a "busy" person who likes to have her hands in many pots, To be honest I'm always doing something even when I'm doing nothing, if that makes any sense, and I get bored very very easily especially if I'm stuck inside or away from people for an extended period of time with nothing to read, watch, or listen to. However I've gotten a lot better at saying "no" to things I know I won't have time to contribute to. Nothing is worse than committing to something and then not being able to follow through, you almost always let someone down and feel shitty about yourself.

I also recognize that not only am I full of contradictions, I'm not perfect (I know, I was as shocked as you). I get lazy and procrastinate as much as the next person and I'm the WORST at starting things! It sometimes can take me forever to get to things that are not immediate priorities. I just try my best and recognize when I need to get things done and when I need down time.

Putting this into practice, I literally try to plan down time and "do stuff" time into my week - if I know I'm going to be out Tues and Wed night, I make sure I keep Thurs night as a "night in". Even if I haven't scheduled a relaxing evening or day, I pay attention to how I feel and if I get a portion of my tasks done and I'm feeling tired, I take a break. Even if it just means sitting and reading a magazine for 20 minutes, or grabbing a glass of water, it's still helpful to inject that little bit of tranquilizer into the moment and sloooow things down.

Obviously, there are some tasks and responsibilities that can't wait; they need to be done when they NEED to be done, not when I feel like it. Also, don't think I'm some kind of neurotic, OCD nutjob that schedules every minute of every day of her life (my condition is getting a lot better thanks to my new meds *I kid, I kid!*). However, it's important to realize that some things CAN wait, and you're not some kind of failure if you don't check every item off your list all at once. Give yourself a break.

I don't always practice what I preach but I try to give myself a break whenever I can. For the most part, this is how I try to live my life - with balance. And you should too - unless you have a questionable past, I'm assuming you are human (like me) and we humans can't do it all. It's ok to rest and relax once in a while - in fact, we need it.

Some of the things I do when I have a lot of energy are: housekeeping, blog or write articles, take a workout class (have tried Zumba a couple of times and love it!) or go for a walk, go shopping, put on funky music and dance my butt off and/or sing at the top of my lungs, go dancing/to the movies/out for supper, lunch, or coffee/to a fun event/on a quick roadtrip (with friends), make plans and lists, etc.

Some of the things I do when I don't have so much energy and want to relax: read (books and magazines - currently reading The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver and the latest issues of Vogue and Lucky - and the Saturday Globe and Mail if I happen to get a donation from mom), watch tv (current favs include Dexter, Project Runway, ANTM, Grey's Anatomy, Big Bang Theory, and Oprah once in a while - judge me all you want but her Farewell Season shows have been amazing so far!) or movies, take a yoga class (this could also go in the above category), kick around on the interwebs, grab a coffee at Chapters and wander around, call or email a friend, paint my nails, listen to jazz or classical music, etc.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to lay on the couch and watch tv. Yesterday I worked a long day, completed a writing test for a job opportunity, and went to choir last night so I've earned it!

What do you do to keep balance in your life? Are you someone who likes balance or not?