New Year, New List

Source

 Ah the first post of the new year - the post where I'm supposed to talk about what an awesome year last year was and how I'm so pumped for this one. And those things are true!

However, I can't help but harbour a tiny wee bit of cynicism for those posts - I don't know why. Perhaps I'm just a wee bit cynical about everything. Maybe it's the overt "cheeriness" and optimism that gets me, not to mention how humorous I find the flurry of "life-fixing" activity that occurs at the beginning of January - everyone jumps on the diet and lifestyle change bandwagon and sets ridiculously lofty goals for themselves, basically setting themselves up for failure.

I do think setting goals is important (I wrote about them here and here, after all), but I tend to be of the non self-disciplined persuasion so I generally need a bit of a kick in the pants to not only make goals, but actually fulfill them. Even so, there is no denying the importance of writing down or at least envisioning where you want to go, even if we're talking only in the next year. I think we all want to grow and improve in some way but this improvement is not likely to ever happen unless we put effort in.

I definitely believe in always improving and growing and trying to get the most out of life that one can. I just don't believe anyone should be a 'slave' to their goals or their lists. It's important to put pressure on yourself but to also cut yourself some slack.

Source

I took a leap with my goal-cynical self and signed up for the 30-Day Push Challenge. The program is run by Chalene Johnson, who is a well-known fitness and lifestyle guru (remember TurboJam?). The idea is that you get an email from Chalene every day with a specific task you have to complete and a link to a video and post that provides some comments and advice regarding how to get the most out of each task. There is also a Facebook group where anyone doing the challenge is encouraged to post their tasks and any other thoughts or questions they have throughout the process.

Generally I am skeptical about "motivational" and "self-help" programs like this, but there was no cost to me, I like Chalene, and I thought perhaps it couldn't hurt to have some support in setting some goals for the year. I have been enjoying the Facebook group - it is definitely motivating to hear others' goals as well as their reservations - it makes you feel like you're not alone in the process.

One of the first tasks was to create a list of top 10 goals, based on your 3 main priorities (i.e. the things in life you will not compromise on). These goals are supposed to be things that, if you accomplished them in the next year, you would be absolutely ecstatic - you're not supposed to think about how realistic each goal is - if you want to see it happen, it goes on the list! Anyway, I thought I would share mine with you:

TOP 3 PRIORITIES: *this is something I think a lot of people don't really take the time to think about - I think many of us just know, but I'd be willing to bet that if asked to write them down, you would have trouble putting them into words! Try it!*
1. Constantly learning and growing
2. Being there for my family
3. Financial security and comfort.

TOP 10 GOALS FOR 2013:
1. Get a new job, ideally in the University where I currently work that pays $10,000+ per year more than I am making now and allows me to use my communication/pr skills
2. Apply for and/or start a Masters Program
3. Gain more PR experience to add to my resume
4. Pay off then get rid of one of my credit cards
5. Take a couple of trips with my boyfriend and/or friends
6. Develop a more regular fitness routine (a minimum of 30 minutes of activity each day)
7. Make an effort to eat more fresh vegetables and eat less sugar
8. Gain at least two more freelance writing clients
9. Push myself to be more outgoing and social at work
10. Reduce stress by developing strategies to worry less, be more patient, more in the moment and use better time-management

In addition to these overall goals, I would also like to spend more time on creative pursuits - more specifically, I'd like to spend a min. of 2 hours per week on something artistic, whether that is a drawing or painting, a craft, or playing the piano. I would also like to get back into going for a hike with my boyfriend once per week - we did really well with this for most of last year, but have been pretty lazy the past few months. These are both items that are stress-relievers, ways to spend quality time (with myself and my boyfriend) and they also tie in with many of my top goals.

Who knows if I'll end up sticking with these goals, but I guess the important thing is that I am putting thought into my future and on improving myself and that never hurts! Really the key to achieving goals (imho) is having a positive attitude and support - I've got the support, so if I can keep the cynicism at bay, I'll be crossing items off this list in no time!

What are your thoughts about goal-setting? What things would you like to accomplish this year?

It Was the Best of Years, It Was the Worst of Years

In many ways this year was very tough - career frustrations and the loss of someone close to me gave me a lot of stress. However, many good things happened this year too, and when it comes right down to it, I think it's best to focus on the positive. So, I thought it would be great to make a list of the 'best of' moments from my year. I hope you all have a few fun and fabulous things to put on your own list!

January

1. First skate on the Canada Games Oval
2. Visiting Sue the T-Rex

February
1. 1st Geocaching event (Fortress Louisbourg)
2. 1st Oscar Party (rosewater whoopie pies!)
3. Free Joel Plaskett concert in Grand Parade, thanks to the Canada Games
4. Brazilian Carnival
5. New job (event planning!)

March
1. Girl's weekend at White Point Beach Lodge (bunnies, board games and beach)

April
1. Learning how to salsa at Club Caliente
2. Easter weekend trip to PEI with the boy (also our 6-month anniversary!)
3. 1st Yelp! Halifax Elite party at the Atlantica (reconnecting with old acquaintences)

May
1. Making my 1st quiche (Mother's Day!)

June
1. 1st Geocaching challenge (Nova Scotia Provincial Parks)
2. Discovering Deadman's Island
3. Greek-fest!
4. Tom Selleck siting in downtown Halifax

July
1. TeamBuy Halifax 'Choose Your Own Adventure' blog challenge
2. Free Jazzfest tickets and discovering Harry Manx and Sisters Euclid
3. Softball tournament fun with the boy's colleagues
4. Riding a bike for the first time in...a LONG time (Bike and Bean!)
5. Wedding of a University friend
6. New cat!

August
1. Wedding of my childhood best friend
2. Halifax Beerfest!
3. Exploring McNab's Island
4. Hike at York Redoubt (1st visit!)

September
1. Long-weekend trip to Cape Breton - Whycocomagh, Highlands National Park, Meat Cove
2. Elton John concert in PEI!
3. 1st visit to Oaklawn Farm Zoo

October
1. Road trip to New England (Maine, New Hampshire, Salem, Boston)
2. Me and the boy's 1 year anniversary
3. Visit to Luckett's Vineyards
4. New job!

November
1. Meeting Nicholas Brendon at Hal-Con Sci-Fi convention

December
1. Visit from my brother and his husband (all the way from New Zealand!)
2. Who knows?! There's still 1.5 days left in the month :)

January 2012 onward...
I guess we'll see :)

Stay Crafty, My Friends

Found here

I have always been a creative person. When I was a kid, I spent an inordinate amount of time in my basement making things - drawing cartoons and fashion sketches, painting rocks, making crafts (don't worry, I did have friends). I was always one of the "artsy" girls in school - always first in line for any artistic extracurriculars like art clubs and fashion shows.

I do not have many regrets in life - I believe we do the best we can with the information we have at the time - but one major thing I am not happy about is the fact that I seem to have lost this part of myself. Well, not lost - I would still say I am creative (I am pursuing a freelance career in writing, so that's something) but just not in the same way.

I don't have the same passion and freedom of expression that I once had. I think a combination of increased life stress and responsibility (and therefore limited time) has doused that creative fire I once had. I have so little spare time sometimes that I often just want to use it to 'veg' and relax, not to sit and paint or make a craft. I hate this. I hate that I have become such a responsible adult that I have lost touch with my creative side.

Since I do feel a little bit of this creative fire still burns, I think I could find that passion again. I think I could find that drive to create again if I just dig hard enough, but sometimes I wonder - is it really possible to get back something that you have lost touch with (seemingly) so long ago? Is is really possible to go back to who you were, grab a little piece of it, and bring it into the present? And even if I can do this, would I be able to produce anything that is actually worthwhile, or am I too out of practice? Sometimes I wonder why I should even bother when it seems to be so much work, but if it is something I feel this disappointed about losing, isn't that a clue that it is something that I truly love?

This is something that I have been thinking a lot about lately, I suppose because the past few months have been particularly stressful ones in my life and I have been searching for relief and emotional therapy wherever I can find it. This, in addition to my issues with obtaining a permanent career forcing me to consider 'alternate' sources of income (hence the push for paying writing jobs) as well HOW exactly I want to bring in money...can I settle for a job that pays the bills, or do I have the confidence to go for a career that is built upon my passions?

I would love to join the ranks of these talented and creative gals with their Etsy shops and their cute, crafty projects. I feel like I could join them but I am not sure how, or if I have it in me. What would I even offer customers? What do I have a talent for that others would be attracted to enough to pay money for? Furthermore, where can I find the time to put the necessary effort into building such a career?

I suppose this post is just sort of a general musing about the state of my life at the moment and my fears and questions surrounding it, but I would love for those of you out there reading this who do own a creative business (full or part-time) to weigh-in! How do YOU do it? Do you think you can re-light a creative fire?

In conclusion, allow me to give kudos to those of you who DO run your own creative business, whether you make a living from it or not. You had a passion and you went for it and that deserves praise. There are so many, like me, who are either too scared or too lost to go for it (or who are not even sure they DO want it!) so you should be really proud of yourself.

Designers, artists, and generally crafty and creative mavens of the world - I salute you.

*Update: Check out this cool contest I just found out about today, related to this post -  'If You Could Start a Crafting Business Tomorrow What Would It Be?' 1 lucky grand-prize winner will be able to discuss their business idea with Ilasco in a 30-minute phone conversation! Plus she/he will receive a copy of Craft Inc. The 4 runners-up will also receive a copy of Craft Inc.

**Read the comments below the contest post to get some amazing business ideas!

Who Do You Think YOU Are?

Wow, I have been gone from the Blog for a bit - sorry blog buddies! I am still here, although just barely. Things have just been a bit crazy the past couple of weeks and (I am not going to lie) I have been feeling overwhelmed. Some things had to be put on the back-burner for a little bit - ah, such is life!

One thing I missed since I was away this past weekend was the Ancestry.ca free search weekend. Normally you have to buy a subscription to access their records, but for this past weekend only you could search around for free!

Found here

Researching my roots is something I have always wanted to do but can never seem to make a priority. And since I'm on a tight budget, buying a subscription to something like this is just not in the cards. I really wish I had been home so that I could take a quick look around - who knows, maybe I would have found something interesting about my family!

My roots are sort of muddled and I really don't know anything about them at all - my mother's mother is my only living grandparent (and I honestly don't get along with her very well), is from Newfoundland originally and has an English maiden name and married name (Clancey/Walton). My mom has no siblings, and I do not even share her name anyway. I have my dad's last name (Humes) but have no contact with my dad or anyone on his side of the family. The only person I would be able to contact (and would feel comfortable doing so) is my aunt in Ontario and she isn't even my dad's biological sister (she was adopted). My dad's dad died when he was a teenager, so I never met him and his mother died when I was a little kid.

See? Where to start?

My mom would know bits and pieces about my dad's side but not much of anything solid to go on. I have a lot of questions about where my name comes from (it's sort of a strange name that you don't hear often, but you do hear "Hume" - no "s" - so there must be some connection there). Some say it's obviously English, others say it's obviously Scottish or Irish. I really have no idea. I have always felt a bit of a disconnect from my origins; no real solid connection to a particular place or people.

Not that I am not a whole person without an awareness of my roots, but it is something that would be nice to know. I have a very small family and I love the little family I have very much, but sometimes I long to know if I have more connections to greater things; important people, places and things in history.

Perhaps one of these days I will get serious about researching my ancestry and find out more about where I come from, but for now I am happy knowing where I was yesterday and where I will be tomorrow (well, most of the time).

Have you ever researched your ancestry? What did you find out? Where are your roots?

FYI there are lots of great genealogy resources for Canadians here. Ever seen the show "Who Do You Think You Are?", where celebs look back through their ancestral records to uncover fascinating connections to world events? Very interesting - check it out! I had actually only seen the American version before now, but will make sure to check out the Canadian one too.

A (belated) Father's Day Wish

Father's Day is  a bittersweet day for me. For the most part, it goes by unnoticed, just another day in my calendar. Because, you see, I don't have a dad to celebrate.

When I was a kid I had a dad - he wasn't he greatest dad ever, but I still thought he was pretty cool. He would spend hours talking to me about planes and various technical things and I would sit fascinated thinking how amazingly smart he was. He was an engineer and a pilot, and he skydived hundreds of times - I mean, rockstar, much?! He would let me play hairdresser with his (very sparse) locks and would take us on fun outings canoeing or to his office, which was like a playground to me at the time.

I still remember the day my mom told me they were getting divorced; like it was yesterday. I was 12 years old, feeling quiet and awkward and I not knowing anyone else whose parents were divorced. As if I didn't feel like enough of an outsider already.

We still saw my dad often at first - we would go to his house every couple of weeks and he even bought my mom a Christmas gift that first year. But things started to change, eventually we didn't go over as often, and then one day he just fell off the face of the earth. He came to my ninth grade graduation and after that I didn't hear from him for two years.

Two years of no phone calls, no cards, no emails. Nothing. He emerged again when I was in 11th grade and my sister and I went to his house. I thought things were going to go back to normal, that we would start to see him regularly again, but alas it didn't happen. I wasn't 13 anymore - I wasn't completely naive, and I started to find things out that I had never known before.

I witnessed the messy court battles that carried on for years between these two people who used to love each other, over various financial issues. I started to learn about the affairs (which, according to my mother, were consistent from the day they were together), the alcoholism and associated drama. Stories of mistresses calling my mother at home, of her dragging my drunken father home from another bender, and of horrible insults hurled. Turns out during his two year "hiatus" as dad, he had moved to Ontario to take a contract engineering job. I was never told about it; I had to hear this from a family friend who worked with him. I heard even later that he came back because he was fired from that job for coming to the site drunk and basically making a scene with his boss.

After his return in my 11th grade year, we only spoke sporadically. I really couldn't tell you how many times I spoke to him or saw him in the next few years, but I could probably count them each on one hand. The veneer had vanished for me - the awe and admiration I had for him when I was a child were replaced with pity and anger. I simultaneously hated him for basically abandoning my sister and I and pitied him for letting drinking take over his life to such a degree.

I still have a mixture of pity and pain towards my father. I have had ZERO contact with him in probably 5+ years, even though he lives right in my city and I could drive to wherever he lives in 10 minutes. That is, I could if I knew where he lived. I have no idea where he works, or if he is even still working (he would be 67 by now). I don't even know his phone number, and even if I did I wouldn't call it. The only indication I have that he is even alive is the occasional call he makes to my mother's place (she still has the same phone number as when they were together, even though she has moved a few times), usually drunk and nonsensical. Sad, sad phone calls where my mother can't bring herself to hang up the phone out of pity.

From what I can tell, he is alone now - no girlfriend (or so I've heard), and certainly no contact with his children (he has two children from a previous marriage to my mother that I am pretty sure do not talk to him either) - and spends the majority of his days drunk.

It makes me sad that such an intelligent, accomplished person could just take their life and completely flush it down the toilet. That someone could be so averse to asking for help and admitting they have a problem, that he continues to blame his misfortunes on others. It makes me sad that I won't have a "father-daughter" dance at my wedding, and I can't help but feel a twinge in my heart when I see dad's and daughters sharing a touching moment - a look or a laugh. I like to joke that the only thing my dad gave me was his nose, and it's not even his best feature.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to rag on Father's Day or be depressing or whine. Honestly I debated whether or not to even post this because I didn't want to give the wrong impression. It's just that all the talk of Father's Day the last week or two compelled me to share my story, even though it's not the rainbows-and-roses type of tale that people like to hear.

I can't lie - hearing all the 'happy dad stories' made me a bit jealous, even though I also felt happiness for the celebration. Sort of like when my best friend got married last year and I felt a mixture of happiness for them, and depression because I was no where near that point in my life.

I just felt that maybe I could add something new and alternative to the mix. I'm sure there are others out there who have not had good dad's, and that can relate to my story.

And perhaps there is a lesson here. I am extremely blessed, and I recognize that. But there is no question that there is a small "hole" in my soul because I didn't have the full support and presence of two, stable, loving parents. I am not sure I will ever be able to forgive my father or if I will ever even get the chance to do this and there are residual affects of his abandonment that I am not sure I will ever be able to shake off completely. My life is fulfilled without him in it, and I am actually grateful for the experience because it made me who I am today, but it doesn't mean I do not mourn for what could have been - for the relationship we could have had, if he had only been there.

So, to those of you that have dads that are supportive of you, are encouraging, show you love and compassion, and are just THERE for you - hold onto them for dear life. Tell them and show them that you appreciate them, because there are lots of people that would love to have what you have. Nobody is perfect, but they should at least get points for trying.

Because dad's like mine exist is all the more reason to celebrate the GOOD dad's out there - the ones who are there for their kids, who support and encourage them, who fulfill their duties.

To all those dad's, I happily and whole-heartedly wish you a Happy (belated) Father's Day. YOU actually deserve it, even if mine doesn't.

Spread the Love

I really liked the idea I read about on this blog, and decided to participate.

I don't know about you, but I tend to be one of those people who is really hard on themselves. I tend to set the bar high and rag on myself if I don't meet it. But this is something I have been working hard to change. I have been trying to cut myself a break once in a while, and I think this is something that is important for everyone.

It is really important to focus on the positives as well as the negatives - sure, you made some mistakes and did some stupid things, but what are the things you have ACCOMPLISHED today/this week/this month? What goals did you set that you DID meet? What are the things you LIKE about how you look and act and think?

Everyone has gifts, qualities to be proud of, and it is important to celebrate these. That goes for physically as well as emotionally - many of us, women especially, are far too negative about their looks and spend more time comparing to non-realistic ideals then celebrating our own unique beauty. This just creates a vicious cycle of negativity and pretty soon that's all you focus on - and you begin to wonder why you are not attracting positive things in life (positive attracts positive = true story, although cheesy).

Look, you are human. You ARE going to make mistakes. You ARE going to mess things up. You are going to have a blond moment or two. It's just a matter of when. And it's ok! Everyone else does it too! And it doesn't mean you are a bad person, it means you are normal. The sooner you accept the fact that you are going to mess up, the sooner you will be able to embrace who you are.

Again, I am far from being an expert here, but I am working on it. I figured this challenge would help with that.

I hope that you will participate too, and link up here with Victoria with me. Lets spread some positivity!

I love myself because...I am open-minded and adventurous. I care about my friends and family and make an effort to be there for them whenever I can. I am creative - I am great at thinking up concepts for events, decorating, putting outfits together, thinking of cute plays-on-words, I play piano and write. I am constantly thinking about how I can improve and grow -  I have a thirst for learning and knowledge. I have great hair and teeth. I may be short, but I like my small but curvy frame! I have the ability to empathize and feel compassion. My attitude - I never give up, I never show if I am stressed, I am flexible and adaptable, I always try my best, I am level-headed and down-to-earth. I am self-aware and have a goofy sense of humour (don't take things too seriously). I value honesty and try to use it whenever I can. I like to support anyone and anything that is "different" or outside the norm - I like to give people a chance. I do not hold a grudge - I get over stuff very quickly and always look for what I can learn from an experience.

Please make sure you focus on the positive this weekend -

I can almost guarantee you will be happier come Monday!

An Update on "My Journey"

I have officially been a member of Weight Watchers now for approx. 6 weeks and I thought it would be great to give a quick update of my triumphs, frustrations and impressions to date:

*Bad news: My average weight loss is 1lb a week - though actually it's less than that bc the first week I lost 2.6lbs. This is disappointing as I would like to be losing a min. of 1.5lbs a week. I realize any weight loss is good, but I had one week (this one actually) where I didn't lose at all, and one where I gained a lb. (although it's important to note that I've lost 6lbs overall, which is the most I've ever been able to lose on dieting!).

*Good news: I have learned SO much about my eating habits, it's been enormously eye-opening.

- I have realized I'm a snacker, I tend to get hungry every couple of hours, I tend to eat when I'm bored, I tend to eat even when I'm full in order to clean my plate  (seriously, I hate leaving food on my plate for some reason! What is that about?! I'm sure there is some deep psychological stuff going on there, but don't even wanna go there)

- I have learned to tailor my diet TO my habits rather than the other way around (e.g. packing each item in my lunch with a specific purpose since I get hungry every few hrs; learning some simple recipes so that I'm more motivated to cook at home, etc).

- I have learned that, even if you are not losing a ton of weight, making changes in your diet WILL change your body and what it is used to. I ate a box of Reese's pieces the other night at a movie and felt "icky" after. I also felt icky for much of Saturday morning after having pizza for supper the night before (well, no proof that the two are correlated, but that's my suspicion). It used to be that I could eat a small popcorn AND candy, and go for a greasy dinner afterward, and not feel sick but here I was feeling sick after ONE box of candy! That was a real "WOW" moment for me, and it made me not want to eat sweet snacks like that very often.

- I have learned to plan ahead - there are ways to indulge yourself while still staying within your points target (this is one of my fav things about the WW plan - flexibility). For example, I like eating out so if I know I'm going to be eating out that night, I will make sure I eat in such a way that I use as few points as possible (not STARVE myself, just eat mostly low point/zero point items) in the rest of the day, that way when I go to the restaurant I have like 20 points at my disposal and can pretty much order whatever I want. I also have been more disciplined with my grocery shopping - if I don't have junk in the house I won't eat it, simple as that!

- I have learned that I thrive on routine - I find the easiest time to stick to dieting is during the week when I'm at work because I have a regular schedule, I only have a small supply of food to last me the day (I find the expense of buying food keeps me from indulging in treats, and makes me stick to ONLY my lunch bag), and I'm usually busy (especially right now) and so my mind wanders less. When I'm prone to snacking is when I don't have the structure of the regular schedule, hence the next point...

*Bad news: I have realized that I tend to really slack off on the weekends - I tend to not record my food (out of a combination of laziness, forgetfulness, irregular schedule which means I'm not always near a computer, and just being sick of doing it all week and wanting a break), and I also tend to eat more often and eat more fattening foods. Because I am often "out-and-about" on weekends and not recording what I'm taking in, it's much easier to just grab whatever food is within reach and ignore the calories. Unfortunately, this means that a lot of the "good behaviour" I practiced during the week is virtually flushed down the drain.

- Also, most of my social engagements tend to be relegated to the weekend, so I often find myself eating out or doing some kind of group social activity and lets face it, these often involve fattening food. I find it extremely hard to go out to a restaurant or to a friend's house where there is fattening food within easy reach and on the plates of people directly in front of you, and order something healthy or not eat at all. It is disappointing (obviously) to see others enjoying delicious food that you can't have, plus there is a kind of "subliminal" peer pressure that exists that urges to you order what your friends or ordering (as silly as that sounds). I really, really need to get better at paying more attention to what I eat and how much on the weekends.

*Good news: I have fallen in love with hiking! My boyfriend and I have actually been taking 2-3 hour hikes every weekend almost since we started dating 5 months ago, and I really look forward to these now. It has been a great way to get out and get some fresh air, explore the many awesome trails that exist right on our doorstep (there are literally hundreds!), pick up some geocaches, and of course contribute to my weight loss. A 3 hour hike gives you around 14 activity points in Weight Watchers, which is amazing! Even if I haven't been losing weight at the rate I would prefer, I know I have at least toned up and I definitely have more energy and stamina. I'm looking forward to continuing this tradition now that the weather is warming up.

So, that is where I stand in my journey!

Journey is a good name for my weight loss experience because that's probably the biggest thing I've learned - weight loss is a PROCESS. It is actually a lifelong/long-term commitment, not something that can happen overnight or that you can quit once you have reached your goals. And it's not just about the number on the scale - it's about making a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. I truly believe you cannot move forward until you come to terms with this. Sometimes I get frustrated that the process is so slow - I just want to get to my first 10lb goal already! But you can't do that. You can't focus on how long it's taking and what is NOT happening - you MUST focus on the GOOD things.

As hard as it is sometimes, you HAVE to keep focusing on the positive because that is the only way you will stick with it. A defeatist attitude  will only serve to set you back on the journey and it's not fair to you. That is why I haven't stuck with diets before - when I fell off the wagon I never got back on. I let the feeling of hopelessness take over and would give up.

I keep telling myself that the important thing is that I have recognized the need for a change, and I am making efforts to make that change happen. I definitely feel more positive about this "try" than I ever have about previous ones. So, those of you that are struggling with weight loss and shifting to a healthier lifestyle, please remember these points - and know that you are not alone. Give yourself a break.

Weight loss to date: 6lbs
Next goal: Lose 5% of body weight (9.2lbs) by April 30th
Next long-term goal: Lose 15lbs by May 21st (Victoria Day weekend)

Life is Good. That is All.

Life is good right now. I don't mean to brag, and I also don't mean to sound like a hippy-dippy tree-hugger or something. I just feel good about my life right now.

Here are some of the reasons why:

* I've been a member of Weight Watchers for approx. 2.5 weeks now and I've lost a total of 4lbs. Now 4 lbs isn't a huge amount of weight, but it's great for only 2 weeks. Plus, the thing that I love the most about this program is how accountable it has made me. It has completely changed my mindset in terms of what I eat and when. Once I started recording my food, it's like someone propped my eyes open with toothpicks because I realized up until that point I was eating WAY more and of WAY worse stuff than I realized! It boggled my mind how much of a mindless eater I am, and how few nutrients I was actually getting on a daily basis. I have also realized that the IDEA of a healthy lifestyle is scarier than actually living a healthy lifestyle - I was so worried before I started that I'd be starving all the time, would never be able to eat out or treat myself, and that I would generally be miserable and want to naw my own arm off after 4 days. However it's the complete opposite! I CAN have that cookie or that piece of pizza; I CAN go out with friends. It's all about moderation and portions and planning. Anyway, I won't go on and on (because I could, trust me) but suffice to say I'm finding this new healthy eating plan really great for me and I'm already feeling better about how my body feels and looks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed to meet my 1st goal (5% of my weight, or approx. 9lbs) by the end of this month!

* I'm really enjoying my new job - I'm not sure if I have explained my recent career change on this blog, but basically I've been temping since September while I try to find a permanent position and it's been a tough slog. I won't go into all the details here, but suffice to say I worked an admin assistant position that I really didn't like (but unfortunately was my only/best choice at the time), that is I worked there until about mid-February when I was let go because they filled my position permanently. However, it worked out for the best because my temp agency (which is amazing by the way!!) found me another position at the University in a different department and doing work which is actually related to my degree and activities that I really enjoy. I'm still temping for now, but the job will be reposted in the next few months and I'll have the opportunity to apply. For now, I'm just trying my darndest to work really hard and prove myself because this is a really great opportunity I don't want to miss! So, I've been here now approx. 3 weeks and I can already see myself working here long-term. I'm currently assisting with planning a major Conference taking place the end of April so I'm quite busy with that (and slightly stressed!) but I'm learning SO much. I'm really excited to see where this opportunity takes me in the next few months...stay tuned!

* I have been spending more and more time with my lovely boy. I don't like to get too personal on here, but what I will say is that we have a lot of fun together and he is very sweet. We love to go on little adventures, like road trips and taking in events around town. He's great for my weight loss too because he really enjoys hiking as well so we've been going on hikes every weekend for at least 2 hours! Now that it's warming up here, we are able to stay out longer and go on more trails since they are not all snowed in. He has also turned me onto Geocaching, which I'm sort of becoming addicted to. If you have never heard of it or tried it, check out the website - it's a lot of fun and a great way to get outside for some fresh air and to explore the city/town/province/state where you live. We have found so many little hidden gems around Nova Scotia and Halifax that I had no idea existed (and I've lived here my whole life! Hello!). It's a HUGE pastime - I had no idea how many people were into it and that they are so serious about it. If you like to travel and explore and be outdoors, give it a try! If you do, add me as a friend (my username is shortfuuse).

* I've been generally trying to focus more on myself and my personal life lately - I gave up some extracurriculars in order to have more time, both to spend with myself and with others. I have been trying to spend more "me" time, either just relaxing, or doing activities I enjoy like painting and drawing (I've been trying to tap into my creative side more as it's been neglected a lot in recent years and I really miss it). I've also been making an effort to spend more time with my sister and keeping in touch with friends. This has been quite successful and I know it's made me feel more positive and fulfilled. This is still a work-in-progress, but my efforts so far have really made a difference.

So, that's what I've been up to. Like I said, life is good! I think it's important for all of us to re-evaluate our lives once in a while ; to ask ourselves what's working and what's not and try our best to weed out the things that aren't working and replace them with other things that would benefit more from our time and efforts. We are all guilty of spreading ourselves to thin at times, and over the wrong things. Having a million hobbies and obligations doesn't necessarily mean you're a more accomplished and happier person. Sometimes having less external "projects" on your plate is better because it allows you to focus on more important things (like relationships).

Thanks for sticking with me, y'all! I told you I'd be back didn't I? I never make a promise I can't keep! **

What is new in your life??


*Seriously, if you are trying to lose weight and can't find anything to work for you (and you haven't tried it already), TRY Weight Watchers! Know what the best part is? If you sign up for the Online option, you get a whole online profile that's similar to Facebook and a Blog! I'm blogging about my experience here (not sure if the link will work for non-members but give it a try and let me know). LOVE IT!!

**I have to say I've missed this little ol' blog of mine. I have been keeping up with others' posts and reading their blogs has made me nostalgic for mine. I miss having it as an outlet for my opinions and thoughts, and I miss connecting with other writers through my comments and discussions on places such as 20-Something-Bloggers. 
I guess I felt weird about coming back all of a sudden after being gone so long, but then I realized it's my blog and I can do what I want with it. Besides, that's one of the great things about blogging - you can do it as much or as little as you want! Since I've missed it and I've cleared out some of the mental clutter I discussed here, I decided it's a good time to get back into it. I'm just going to post when I feel like it and not put too much pressure on myself. This is kind of the way I'm living my whole life right now - I'm feeling very easygoing and positive - I've made a dent in some positive changes I've been meaning to tackle, and I'm feeling good about that and that good feeling is permeating throughout my life. I still have plans for this space that I may or may not tackle in the near future, but for now I'm just concerned with what makes me feel good, and no matter the format or agenda, it feels good to blog! So, that's what I'm gonna do!

Fashion Fridays: Baby, It's Cold Outside

That's right, Fashion Fridays are back, baby! Back in November I decided to start doing weekly fashion posts on Friday featuring my fav outfit from the week, as well as some favs from the webs and general discussions about fashion, etc. Well, I did that exactlyyyyyy once. I hate to use the usual excuse but I just got busy and I found it too time-consuming to take outfit photos. Plus, I did not really have proper equipment to take decent outfit photos in the first place.

But it's a new year and I have a new attitude (read: I now don't give a crap about the above things). I thought 'who cares?!'. I wanna do fashion posts so I'm gonna do fashion posts! Lack of time and equipment be damned! This isn't freaking Vogue - no one expects magazine-quality photos from you! It's my blog, I like fashion, so I'm going to blog about fashion. Period. I'm excited to bring it back! (can't ya tell?!)

I was soooo not feeling motivated to look nice this week - it's only a 4-day week and it is post-11-day-vacation. However, it seemed as the week went on I woke up a little bit more, which meant that by the time Friday came, I actually felt like putting effort in! Hence my fav outfit of the week being from Friday! There's just something about Fridays anyway, isn't there? I don't know about you but I always feel more laid-back and upbeat on Fridays and I think that translates into what I wear those days.

Why, yes, that IS my closet behind me hence the closed doors. Trust me, you don't want to see in there. You will have nightmares for a week and I can't live with that on my conscience (besides, the clash of clothing would distract from my ugly mug, and that would just be tragic *rolls eyes*).

I have had most of these pieces for a while and tend to fall back on them when I'm not sure what to wear. I think I've said this before but I freaking love these jeggings. Yes, that's right, I wear jeggings. I'm one of THOSE girls. Now, don't judge! They can be cute and flattering if you wear them the right way! Plus, they actually look quite polished (as long as you don't wear them with a giant sweatshirt) and they are really comfortable. I was feeling a bit girly and artsy today, hence the necklace and shoes.

I LOVE these shoes! They are so comfy, and lets face it, super cute! Plus they go with everything, and you can throw them on with any outfit and it instantly looks more cute, girly and polished.

I'm not feeling the most motivated to put outfits together lately also because it's FREAKING COLD!! Have I mentioned I hate winter and cold? Well, I do. The only good thing about the cold in terms of fashion is you can create visual interest with cozy layers and I do love winter accessories. One of my current favourites is hats. Like this one I just got on Boxing Day:

I LOVE this colour. For some reason I just love the look of these slouchy berets; I have no idea why. Maybe they make me feel french or something. I also just bought this little number:

I just love the feathers on this hat! So cute! And this hat is like the shoes above, it goes with everything and makes any outfit look instantly polished. Not to sound conceited, but I'm one of those people that looks good in hats, but I just never used to wear them often because they made my hair a staticky-frizzy mess. I'm embracing them more and more over time though (especially since they are great for days you don't want to wash or style your hair, but don't wish to look like a homeless person!). My 2nd favourite winter accessory is definitely scarves, and I have WAY too many of them.

I realize cold is something I should be used to since I'm Canadian and have lived with half a year of winter since birth, but I'm sorry you just NEVER get used to it, I don't care what anyone says. I'm always shocked when I run into tourists or see license plates from places like California and Florida around here - I always want to go up to those people and just ask "what the bleep are you doing here?! I mean it's a great place to visit, but do you realize you have summer year-round?! A) why would you want to leave that behind and, B) would it have KILLED you to bring some of that shiz up here with you?! Gawd!!

Anyway, I'm always fascinated by ladies who can manage to look great in the winter because it's really tough. Case in point:

Glamorous, right? Here are some ladies who actually do cold-weather dressing well:

OMG her hat looks just like mine! I guess it does make me look French!

I really want to stroke her hat like a kitty...is that wrong?

Ahhhh I really really want her cape! Alas I lack money, but if I had any I would probably buy this one.



Have a fashionable (and toasty) weekend!

 

Don't You Forget About Me (NaBloPoMo)

I wanted to copy this recent post by one of my favourite bloggers because I thought it was a really neat concept. She took her very first Facebook profile photo and her current Facebook profile photo, put them side by side and compared to examine the ways that her life has changed in that time. I couldn't wait to try it myself!

Here is my FIRST Facebook profile photo from January 2007:

Ugh, this is a horrid photo of me in my opinion, but in the spirit of the post I'll still put it up (I hope you appreciate me humiliating myself for the integrity of the blog, y'all!!)

So, at that time I was only about a month into age 22, approx. 3 years into University, just following my third and last co-op work term, and I believe the photo was taken in a bar somewhere in downtown Halifax (at that time, my friends and I would go out dancing fairly often). I believe I was dying my hair darker then (more of a dark brown shade - which in retrospect was NOT a good colour for me) and playing around with how to wear my bangs a lot (I'm still doing that!). What's actually more interesting to me is not the place in my life at the time this photo was taken, but the place in my life I would be in within the next 6 months. Approximately 4 months from this photo, I would be living and studying on an International Public Relations course in London, England with 18 other University students (3 from my Uni, the rest from various Uni's in the USA). That trip would be a defining moment in my life in more ways then one - it was the fulfillment of a long-time dream of living/studying abroad and meeting amazing people, but it also involved one of the worst losses of my entire life (the death of someone very close to myself and my family) and the subsequent emotional struggle. I took my first solo trip just after I heard the news, and it remains one of my proudest moments.

And, my current photo is:

Well, fast-forward 3.5 years and I'm now 25 (will be 26 in December), smack-dab in the middle of a Quarter-Life Crisis and feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place in my career and personal life, grappling with many worries, questions, insecurities and reflections.  You can't really see my hair, but it's actually similar in style to the above photo (though oddly enough I think my hair has thickened), but an auburn colour instead of dark brown (much more flattering to my skin tone, if you ask me). My outfit is certainly more colourful and creative and shows how I've become more creative and daring with my style. I have definitely gained weight, but working on that every day as hard as I can (hey, I'm human right? I blame Thanksgiving...and Halloween). I hardly ever go dancing now (more because I don't really have anyone to go with than not having the desire to), and my friends circle has entirely changed.

I have mixed feelings about this comparison - it was definitely a fun and thought-provoking exercise, however it was also a tad disconcerting. In many ways, my life was much simpler back then and I was a lot less jaded. Life was more fun and carefree in many ways too, and part of me would love to go back to that simpler existence. But life is also different in positive ways, namely that I'm ten times more self-aware, self-sufficient, street-smart and realistic now than I was then. My life isn't really worse or better when it comes right down to it; it's just DIFFERENT. And I guess in a way that's sort of comforting because I think if my life hadn't changed much in 3.5 years I would be really, really depressed! One thing's for sure, I have more ideas and projects brewing in my brain than ever, and in a way the sky is the limit on where I can go next and how I can push myself. And that's a change I can really get behind.

(Don't) Stop Til You Get Enough

I'm not a party animal. I'm also not a homebody. I'm somewhere in between (a tyan? a mebo?).

I like to have balance in my life, and that means making time for relaxing as well as working, watching tv as well as cleaning the house, hanging out with friends and spending time alone. I go a little nuts if I have too much of either side, i.e. too much time at home or by myself, or too much time out with other people. I need to temper each side with a little of the other to stay sane.

There are times when I wish I were a party animal, or that I was one of those people that can go and go and go and never (seemingly) take a break. I see people like that and I think "how the bleep do they do that?!"

But when it comes right down to it, balance is something I feel everyone needs. Maybe not as much as I do but in some measure. The fact is, those people that seem to be "doing it all" with so much ease will burn out eventually. It may not happen right away and they might not see it coming, but it will happen.

I've been in that place, feeling burned out, and it's not fun. It's also not healthy and makes you feel and look like crap, not to mention affects your performance and threatens the quality of time and effort you give to all those activities you are (ironically) racing around trying to get done. I also have friends that do this and they are some of the most unreliable, hard-to-get-a-hold of people I've ever met (although I love them). What good is it checking off all those things on your "to-do" list if you only talk to or see your friends (or have fun) once in a while, read: when all your to-do's are completed.

On the other hand, I know people who are "all play and no work", that never seem to do anything productive with their time (except drink and maybe stalk people on facebook...oh and eat all their parent's food) and I don't agree with this either. You know you can never rely on them for anything, except maybe relying on you for something.

I sympathize with both sides, but never want to be too much of either. Hence the need for balance.

This all being said, I would categorize myself as a "busy" person who likes to have her hands in many pots, To be honest I'm always doing something even when I'm doing nothing, if that makes any sense, and I get bored very very easily especially if I'm stuck inside or away from people for an extended period of time with nothing to read, watch, or listen to. However I've gotten a lot better at saying "no" to things I know I won't have time to contribute to. Nothing is worse than committing to something and then not being able to follow through, you almost always let someone down and feel shitty about yourself.

I also recognize that not only am I full of contradictions, I'm not perfect (I know, I was as shocked as you). I get lazy and procrastinate as much as the next person and I'm the WORST at starting things! It sometimes can take me forever to get to things that are not immediate priorities. I just try my best and recognize when I need to get things done and when I need down time.

Putting this into practice, I literally try to plan down time and "do stuff" time into my week - if I know I'm going to be out Tues and Wed night, I make sure I keep Thurs night as a "night in". Even if I haven't scheduled a relaxing evening or day, I pay attention to how I feel and if I get a portion of my tasks done and I'm feeling tired, I take a break. Even if it just means sitting and reading a magazine for 20 minutes, or grabbing a glass of water, it's still helpful to inject that little bit of tranquilizer into the moment and sloooow things down.

Obviously, there are some tasks and responsibilities that can't wait; they need to be done when they NEED to be done, not when I feel like it. Also, don't think I'm some kind of neurotic, OCD nutjob that schedules every minute of every day of her life (my condition is getting a lot better thanks to my new meds *I kid, I kid!*). However, it's important to realize that some things CAN wait, and you're not some kind of failure if you don't check every item off your list all at once. Give yourself a break.

I don't always practice what I preach but I try to give myself a break whenever I can. For the most part, this is how I try to live my life - with balance. And you should too - unless you have a questionable past, I'm assuming you are human (like me) and we humans can't do it all. It's ok to rest and relax once in a while - in fact, we need it.

Some of the things I do when I have a lot of energy are: housekeeping, blog or write articles, take a workout class (have tried Zumba a couple of times and love it!) or go for a walk, go shopping, put on funky music and dance my butt off and/or sing at the top of my lungs, go dancing/to the movies/out for supper, lunch, or coffee/to a fun event/on a quick roadtrip (with friends), make plans and lists, etc.

Some of the things I do when I don't have so much energy and want to relax: read (books and magazines - currently reading The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver and the latest issues of Vogue and Lucky - and the Saturday Globe and Mail if I happen to get a donation from mom), watch tv (current favs include Dexter, Project Runway, ANTM, Grey's Anatomy, Big Bang Theory, and Oprah once in a while - judge me all you want but her Farewell Season shows have been amazing so far!) or movies, take a yoga class (this could also go in the above category), kick around on the interwebs, grab a coffee at Chapters and wander around, call or email a friend, paint my nails, listen to jazz or classical music, etc.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to lay on the couch and watch tv. Yesterday I worked a long day, completed a writing test for a job opportunity, and went to choir last night so I've earned it!

What do you do to keep balance in your life? Are you someone who likes balance or not?

Summer Lovin (had me a blast)

As a "conscientious" person (I don't like the word "over-achiever as it has a negative connotation, conjuring images of this and I'm NOTHING like that...I don't think), I often feel like I haven't done enough, haven't seen enough, haven't used my time in an effective enough manner.

This, combined with the fact that I have a terrible memory, means that my knee-jerk reaction at the end of a season is to look back and think, "I didn't really do anything exciting this ! I didn't do anything cool like backpack through Europe or start a new business like !". So, when I first reflected upon my summer and what I did with it, my mind immediately went here. However, once I thought longer and harder about it (and reviewed my photos), I realized I had a pretty full season!

Here are some of the highlights:
* Visited a maple syrup farm with friends (and discovered the wonder of maple syrup poured in snow and wrapped on a stick - mmmmm).
* Fundraised and participated in the Nova Scotia SPCA Alley Cat Bowl with two of my co-workers. We realized we suck at bowling, but we had tons of fun anyway!
* Attended a Workplace Wellness Conference in New Brunswick with another co-worker, where I met some great people from the Heart & Stroke Foundation of NB, and learned some interesting ways to promote teamwork and job satisfaction in our office. I also had supper with an ex-boyfriend and realized just how different we've both become (surreal experience).
* Planned and attended four training sessions as a representative from my office (go me! And trust me, it was not always fun - oh, and along with this also took a plane to Cape Breton, which was sort of silly yet fun in equal measure...those of you that don't live in Nova Scotia won't get this, but just trust me).
* Hiked Victoria Park in Truro with some old and new friends - crossed a place off my list that I'd always wanted to visit and got a fun road trip out of it too.
* Hiked Cape Split (we did it up and back + a 20 minute break in just under 4 hours!) with my two best friends (crossed another "alwayswantedtodo" off my list and got a great workout).
* FINALLY watched my best friend and her fiance get married, and from my very special position as Maid of Honour. Also got to plan her Bridal Shower and Bachelorette party, both of which were successful!
* Attended the Halifax Greek Fest for the first time (another thing to check off the list!).
* Had a bonfire on the beach...well, attempted to have one until we were caught by a "forest ranger" (in a bulletproof vest!) and told to put it out. It was an amazing fire while it lasted though, and a fun adventure (blatantly breaking the law - just a regular Saturday night for us).
* Participated in my 5th NS International Tattoo as a member of the adult choir, and probably had my funnest year yet. New group of ladies to hang out with, seemingly more cute guys in uniform than ever (though honestly I probably just noticed them more in my horny free and single state ), root beer popsicles and ice cream sandwiches, funny hats, Parisian fire-fighters...sigh, is it June 2011 yet??
* Was hit on randomly in the street for the first time in...well, a LOOOONG time. Perhaps for the first time ever. Sad, I know, but this was a great ego boost in any case (and he wasn't ugly or smelly! Win!).
* Visited the Halifax Jazz Fest (also for the first time - another check!) and saw an amazing concert by locals Gypsophilia and Israeli group Boom Pam. Sooooo much fun - it was so freeing to dance up a sweat in front of the stage with a crowd with only the music and the summer air floating around....awesome.
* Got to see my friend's baby for the first time when they visited from Edmonton.
* Visited with my brother and his wife from BC for two whole weeks - I hadn't seen my sister-in-law in 6 years and my brother in 2 so it was about time we got together. Yummy seafood dinners, walking the waterfront shopping and taking in Natal Day festivities, lots of beer and wine...
* Participated in the Dog Days of Summer bloggers challenge, where I donated a trunk-full of pet supplies to my local shelter. This was so rewarding and my 1st blogging challenge (1st of many I hope!). You can read about it here.
* Had a lovely vacation in Prince Edward Island with my family (as per usual).
* Participated in my 2nd blogging challenge! Big Day Downtown.
* Took in the Clam Harbour Beach Sandcastle contest (another first and a PERFECT beach day).
* Went Tidal Bore rafting - soooo much fun and soooo sore for the next four days (however, another check off my list! Huzzah!).
* Left my job, which I have really enjoyed and learned a lot from, and jumped back into the world of temping while I keep trying to find my niche (still have no idea what that is).

I also made some new friends, dated a couple of guys, saw a bunch of great movies, ate a bunch of great food, got a lot of sun, and became more active online by blogging on a regular twice-weekly schedule, Tweeting more, and talking to people more on various online forums (had my first online interview re. the blog!). I really feel I'm connecting with some amazing people and organizations through these activities and I hope it only continues to grow.

Generally, this year I've been trying to get out and DO things. You know those things that we all say "I'd love to do that sometime" and never seem to get to? I've been trying my best to actually GET to them. As you can see above, I crossed a whole bunch of things off this list in my head this summer, and I'm really proud of that. I've generally learned to be more adventurous, and more laid back and patient. I'm still working on this obviously, but got a good start!

I had some bad times too, but who wants to dwell on those?!

So, see I did a lot of great stuff! My initial thoughts of unproductivity were obviously baseless. I'm still attached to summer (thank goodness we're still having summer weather here...mostly) but I must say I'm starting to look forward to Fall, to the sweaters and tights and pumpkin goodies.

I hope to have a Fall re-cap in a couple of months that is just as full, varied, and positive as the one above.

Happy Fall, y'all!

(By the by: I'm still not happy with my blog design and so expect continued changes in that department while I try and find a look I DO like. Thanks!)

Who Are You? (I Really Wanna Know)

I applied for a job yesterday that recommended I list my "Myers Briggs Type" in my application, since it is a position that requires writing/editing/research skills. I was intrigued, both because I had never been asked to submit such a thing for a job application, and also because I have always wondered what my type is and this would be a good excuse to find out!

Here is my result: I am INFJ - Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging

I am sometimes skeptical of these "personality tests"; you have to wonder how accurate they really are and more to that what the point is. Googling my Type yielded various definitions, with different titles (including Counselor, Protector, etc) so it's hard to say what the exact definition of my Type is. However, generally I found the main traits listed for my Type match my actual personality quite accurately. I was pleasantly surprised.

Here are some of the traits that I felt were most accurate (taken from this profile which puts me in the category "The Protectors"):

* take things in primarily via intuition; know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand; put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions
* protective of their inner selves; deep, complex, quite private and typically difficult to understand; hold back part of themselves, can be secretive.
* perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential; rarely at complete peace with themselves; believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments; have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families
* place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world; constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives; not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities (that's not true - I'm good at spending money! I'm also good at eating, which is a very practical daily necessity!)
* are usually right, and they usually know it (hah! Well, not going to argue with that!)
* gentle, caring, artistic, creative; genuinely warm; good listener
* hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring; concerned for people's feelings, try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone; very sensitive to conflict, which may drive them into a state of agitation or charged anger; tend to internalize conflict and experience health problems as a result; don't believe in compromising their ideals; take commitments seriously; seek long-term relationships but can easily move on after a relationship is ended.
* usually works in areas where they can be creative and independent; natural affinity for art, not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks.

Obviously, it can be hard to be objective when it comes to your own personality, but for the most part I feel I'm a very self-aware person who is accepting of both her strengths and weaknesses and I would say all of the above is BANG ON.

I find this so interesting! I also think it's interesting that these types of tests are not used more often. WHY have I never been asked to submit this information in a job application before? If you think about it, these standardized tests can be a more accurate portrait of a person and their strengths/weaknesses than a cover letter and resume because they are more objective.

Obviously, these tests are not completely unbiased because there is no guarantee the "testee" (tee hee) is answering the questions honestly, but at the same time, the questions are in such a format that it would be hard for the applicant to manipulate their answers in order to come out with a specific result, i.e. the type that the employer is most looking for. For one, the test is made up of "yes" and "no" questions that give no indication of what category your answer will place you in (unlike other tests, such as multiple choice, which I would say are easier to predict), and secondly there is no way of  knowing what Type the employer is even looking for, if they are in fact looking for a particular one.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that all employers should be requiring applicants to complete the Myers Briggs test. All I'm saying is the test could be an easy and interesting way to find out more about a person's character and to remove some of the bias that exists in the hiring process (on both sides).

Human beings are obviously much more complex than a 72-question test can reveal - a lot of how we act depends on the circumstances and mood of individual situations. But I also feel that sometimes 'who we are' is staring us right in the face but we don't see it until it's revealed in an honestly answered questionnaire.

Fun factoid: Only about 1% of the population are the INFJ type! How cool is that?! So, either I'm really special or really "special", if you know what I mean.

Have you ever taken the Myers Briggs test? What is your Type? Is it accurate? How would you feel about including your Type in a job application?

If you wish to take the test, you can do so here - give it a try; you might learn something about yourself!

Kick Off My Sunday Shoes

Yes, I'm still alive. I've been in a wonderful little land called "vacation" for the past 10 days or so, hence the lack of posting. I went on my annual cottage trip to PEI with my mom and sister, with a few extra days off before and after. I had a really stressful week leading up to going away so I wanted to make it a point to abstain from a lot of computering while away and focus on enjoying the sunshine, beach, food and reading.

So, not much more to say about that except that it was good! And I'm back to real life and to the regular grind!

The bad news is that I'm behind on things I've been meaning to post! Before I left for vacation, I did an interview for the new blog for Mephisto shoes. A lovely lady contacted me a few weeks ago, after I posted here about shoes, saying that she liked my blog and wondered if I'd mind being featured. You can read the interview here.

I say this every time, but I'm so blown away when I get messages like that and I hear that people actually read this little blog and enjoy it! It feels so great! And not just anyone but someone from a well-established company who wants to get my insights?! Seriously?! It's very humbling, especially since most of the time I feel like I just ramble on about very trivial, opinionated things in these posts of mine and probably don't even make sense. Actually when I re-read my answers to the interview questions, I cringed at my long-windedness in some responses! However, that's me, and as I say in one of my answers, the great thing about blogging is you have the freedom to be yourself, and to write however and about whatever you want. As long as it makes sense to you, that's the important thing (occasional cringe-worthy editing aside).

This is going to be a regular feature on Mephisto's new blog - interviews with bloggers that they enjoy - so I'll certainly be giving my contact there the names of a few blogs that I think are pretty great. What good is love if you can't spread it around a little?

I had a lot of fun perusing the shoes on GoMephisto.com (um, who wouldn't?!) and have several favourite pairs. At the time of my interview, I picked the Cataron style as my favourite, but I'm also a fan of Algie, Catiena, Abbie, and Bella (on another note, I don't know who comes up with the names of these styles, but I love them). These shoes really marry style to function and comfort, which I love. I'm always on the go, so it's important that my feet feel good!

Thanks so much to Pat at the blog for contacting me (and liking the blog!), and thanks to everyone who reads my stuff. It really means a lot. Even though this blog is ultimately for me and about me, I still love being able to connect with others through my words and pictures.

Keep up the great work, Blogsphere! xo Stay tuned for my post for the #bigdaydowntown project, that I'm completing this weekend (wherein I take downtown Halifax by storm), and an upcoming travelogue I'm entering in a contest over at Trazzler, plus some other fun goodies I haven't come up with yet but am sure I will soon, not to mention the continued saga of "the job search". It's good to be back.

Temporary One

Well, dear blogsphere, I have been away from you a long time but I have a good excuse - I've been very busy for the past couple of weeks. Even though I was off work last week, I still managed to cram my time with housekeeping, continued job searching, nights/afternoons out with friends, and good old-fashioned relaxing. It was great not to have to rush and be completely sleep-deprived for the first time in five Tattoo's! Can't believe I didn't take vacation in other years - what was I thinking?! It is still continuing until the end of this week, but I'm at least back to normal life in some ways (as "normal" as life can be, right?).

I've also been busy in the mental sense - my brain has been on overdrive thinking about my next steps. I know, I know, nothing new with me. My career and personal life frustrations continue, as I've discussed before on this blog. You see, I've been searching for work now for over four months and have yet to find anything. It is slim pickin's here in Nova Scotia I'm afraid. Luckily, I'm able to stay on at my current job until the end of the month or so, so I'm not quite desperate, but I'm getting there. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to have to go back to the temp agency and see if I can find work through them while I keep looking, but I REALLY don't want to do that.

I'm TIRED of the temp thing. All the jobs I've worked - three work terms during school 2004-2007 and two full-time's since graduation in 2008 - have been contracts of a year TOPS. When you're a starving student or just trying to get some work (ANY work!) under your belt, contracts aren't so bad. I've had some interesting experiences and considering I'm such a "rolling stone" who thrives on change, this switching has kept things fresh and exciting.

However, it also means you're always the new person, that just when you get to know your coworkers and your job you have to leave so it's tough to build relationships, seniority and confidence, and what you end up with is a little bit of experience in a lot of areas rather than any concrete, measurable expertise. It also gives one the sense of constant floatation - a lack of bearings and a lack of knowledge as to your own strengths and accomplishments. This is very frustrating. Now that I have two years of job-searching under my belt, I realize that many companies and organizations are looking for three-five years experience in a particular area rather than four-12 mths experience in four different areas. Not to mention that as a contract employee you're often not eligible for benefits such as healthcare, vacation, bonuses, overtime pay and any other long-term affiliations that other permanent employees enjoy. It's much easier to drag a young, eager contractee through the dirt, as sad as that is to say.

I'm not saying I want to settle into a job and work there the next 20 years of my life, then retire quietly. All I want is to stay in a job MORE THAN ONE YEAR! I want to build up my skills in a particular area, build sustained relationships, and work on climbing the ladder in one place, rather than jumping between rocks trying my best not to fall into the stream, if you will. I want to be able to plan for the future and not have to live paycheck to paycheck forever. I'm only 25 but I'll be 26 in December and I'm not getting any younger. I'd like to do things like buy a house and, oh I dunno, be WORTH something someday (monetarily speaking).

Anyway, the whole point of what I'm saying is not even really about my job worries; it's about what I want for my life in general. My point is that I've come back to a plan I had previously contemplated and later put aside - that of moving to another city. I wrote on this blog back in March about my decision to move to Vancouver (for many reasons), but soon after decided that it wasn't the right time. For one, planning the shower and stagette for my best friend took up most of my time and money for the entire month of May, then before I knew it the gal I was filling in for at work returned from her mat leave and I was faced with finding a job ASAP to ensure I could continue paying those pesky things called bills.

However, I realize now that I also let the opinions of others, and my own fear, bring me down and discourage me from taking that step. Certain people in my life (who will remain nameless), though they were supportive of me making a change, planted worries and guilt in my head that ultimately ate away at my resolve. I've always been someone who cares deeply about gaining the approval of others. I hate that about myself, and I hate that I let this deter me from a potential adventure and positive change.

Of course, there is no question that it's a major decision and one that should not be taken lightly; all details need to be considered, positive and negative. Maybe I won't be happy! Maybe I'll hate it there! But the bottom line is, that's my decision to make. And even if it turns out badly, I'll at least have the satisfaction that I tried; pride in myself for taking that leap. I have an itch that needs scratching; an itch to see other places and spread my wings; an itch that has only gotten stronger in the four-or-so months since I resigned myself to move the first time. Imagine how itchy that need will be in another four months if I don't hurry up and scratch it??

I know a lot of this is really repetitive, as I've talked a lot before about my frustrations re. career and my personal life, my place. But I can't help that it's a huge weight on my mind at this stage of my life. It's one of those things that I thought was maybe just a phase and that might fade as time goes on and I "come to my senses". But I now realize that the reason it's been a weight on me is because I've failed to do anything concrete about it. I've been waiting for answers to come and for other people to tell me what I should do when I'm the one that needs to decide for myself. The time has come to be brave, to follow my gut, get out of my own way, and take that leap of faith; to stop talking and thinking about doing it, and just DO IT.

Anyway, I realize I'm rambling. And who knows if I'll actually make a decision and stick with it considering my track record, but I'm going to do my best not to let fear and doubt get me down. I intend to live up to the title of this blog and keep on rollin' somewhere very soon; or at least that's my hope. Anyone who gets in my way (including me) had better watch out or they'll get flattened! Rolling stone coming through, people (and I don't mean this kind)!

*updates to come (I hope positive ones)*