Boston Strong

Unless you have been living under a rock, you heard about the horrible bombings at the Boston Marathon last week and likely were following the manhunt for the two suspects.

In what may be a case of the worst timing ever, the boy and I had a vacation pre-scheduled in Boston for last week and we had the extra bad luck of booking a hotel in Watertown - scene of the suspect standoff and eventual capture. Our hotel was, in fact, less than 1/2 mile away from where the suspect was found in the backyard boat, so subsequently we were locked down for most of the day Friday and entertained by a constant symphony of sirens and helicopter noise, tv news vans and reporters outside. Since we only had barely two days in Boston anyway, this meant that over half of our vacation was lost and we came home in a bit of a haze, both from the insanity of the events we witnessed and were smack-dab in the middle of, and due to the fact that most of the previous 4 days were spent either driving or watching the news.

Yes, I am complaining - it sucked! But that's not the point of this post. The point is the experience oddly made me love Boston even more.

This was my third visit to the city. Before this, I could tell you that I loved Boston but could not necessarily pinpoint the exact reasons why. Sure, there is undeniably great history and architecture, parks and museums, restaurants and shopping. In a way, the city reminds me of a large-scale version of my hometown of Halifax - a city with the down-to-earthiness of a small town, a working class/sea-faring past and the character that comes along with that.

However, now I understand. It's the people that make this city great. They are warm and welcoming and will talk to you as if you're an old friend even if it's your first conversation. Many would take the clothes off their back and give them to you if you really needed them. They are there for each other and value hard work. At the same time, they have an edge - they are a down-home, potty-mouthed, hard-drinking lot who, basically, don't take shit (I mean this with love).

Both sides of this mixed character were highlighted during the hysteria of the bombings and the aftermath. The selflessness, support, and strength of the citizens warmed my heart - countless people organized donations and events to show solidarity to the victims and their loved ones, to say 'we are with you and you are in our prayers'. Then the tenacity and ruthlessness that was displayed during the hunt for the suspects left me in awe and made me want to pump my fist in the air and say, 'yeah! You go!'. They were not going to let these men get away with this and I loved that commitment. I loved the fact that they did not 'fuck around' but that they did so in a way that put the safety and well-being of everyone in the city first and foremost.

It's that mix - the hard and soft, the tough and loving - that makes the people of Boston great. Sure, our vacation was kind of ruined, but I never once felt concerned for my safety or that the situation was not under control. Did I hate being cooped up in our hotel room all day and having to miss the Red Sox game (which was scheduled for Friday but subsequently postponed)? Of course! But I appreciated the care and precautions taken. I felt comforted that the job would get done and done right.

There are so many things being written about these incidents - so many opinions and analyses floating around out there, and I don't want to add to that pile. Honestly, I kind of just want to move on from this, as I am sure we all do (although I should reiterate that 'move on' does not mean 'forget'). I just felt compelled, in my own small way, to thank the people of Boston for being, well, them. For being strong and loving and, in true Boston fashion, giving the finger to those that tried to ruin their lives.

Thank you for making great what little vacation we ended up having.

And I Just Can't Hide It

Found here
Sooooo I am excited about a few things right now. Wanna know what?

* The new Sephora store that just opened in Halifax - because the 'Fax is a smaller city, we are not first in line when it comes to getting "cool things", like stores, concerts, etc. However, that is slowly changing - we got H&M last year, and some Targets are coming in the next couple of years, and Sephora is the newest in a line of great chain stores we are FINALLY getting. My mom and I visited last night and were really impressed with the service. I have been in Sephora's elsewhere, including New York City, but there is something about having one at home. I love not having to order awesome makeup and hair stuff ONLINE, and therefore being able to try it before I buy!

* A new blog challenge I am participating in with the Downtown Halifax Business Commission! It is another (not exactly the same but similar) instalment of the Big Day Downtown I did last summer, and I can't wait. I am going to a reception to get the details, and meet some cool local bloggers I haven't had the chance to chat with yet. Stay tuned!

* Further to the above two points, I am excited about another new addition to the Halifax scene - The MiddleSpoon Desserterie & Bar! I have been hearing lots of buzz about it, and will get to visit and see for myself at the DHBC reception! I'm always up for anything dessert-related.

* I am interviewing a local boutique owner tomorrow for a web article I am writing. This boutique is actually one of my favourite in the city, and the article is hopefully the start of a regular collaboration with this website so I'm looking forward to it.

* I am meeting with an editor of a local magazine Friday about an article possibility. It is my first meeting with a major editor, so I'm really nervous, but I really believe in my idea and can't wait to dive into it. I just hope he agrees! Regardless, the meeting is a precedence-setter for my life.

* The boy and I are going hiking and geocaching on McNabs Island this weekend! The island is open to the public for camping and exploring but you are not allowed to have fires and there are no facilities so it's definitely an "off-the-grid" experience even though you are in the middle of one of the busiest harbours in the world. It is officially a provincial park (along with nearby Lawlors Island) but is managed by the Friends of McNabs Island Society - only in Nova Scotia lol.

* I am getting together with a friend tomorrow night who is in town from Alberta. I am hoping we will get to see Horrible Bosses because I have been hearing great things about it. For those of you that don't know, Kevin Spacey is my future husband - feel free to make fun - I will just ignore it and keep on loving my man and working on making him mine.
I'm also going to see The Help with mom next week - I can't wait because I really enjoyed the book and am always curious if the movie can live up to the paper story (this is rare).

* Speaking of books, I am currently reading Little Bee by Chris Cleave and the prose is beautiful! There is still a lot of the story that I am in the dark about because it hasn't unfolded yet, but I am really enjoying it so far. I am constantly fascinated at the vivid, colourful characters that authors can come up with! He has another book called Incendiary that I'm now curious about...anyone read it? If I like an author I always like to read their other works.

What are YOU excited about right now??

Ch-Ch-Ch-Checkin' In

Man, I can't believe we're coming up on mid-June already! It's not even (officially) summer yet and I already feel like it's disappearing so quickly!

There are so many things my boyfriend and I want to do this summer, too, we got to the point where we had to start putting things in a calendar because we realized, if we didn't plan things ahead enough, we were going to wake up in September with nothing to show for it!

It seems kind of sad and slightly ocd to schedule activities for each weekend as though we are running a summer camp, but that's how it goes!

Some of our plans include: Road trip to the US (probably Maine or New Hampshire, since those are close - someone suggested visiting Mount Washington area so that's a possibility), camping a couple of times, U2 + Arcade Fire concert (!!!) in Moncton on July 30th, road trip to Cape Breton to drive the Cabot Trail and participate in a geocaching event, 2 weddings + a bridal shower, various festivals (Halifax Greek Fest is this weekend - can't wait! Also, looking forward to the Halifax Jazz Fest, Canada Day festivities, etc), at least one bbq and one beach bonfire, visit to McNab's Island, hike at Cape Split/Blomidon, possibly visiting Treego in Moncton to try out the ziplines, etc etc...

Do you see why we need the calendar now? What can I say, we're not lazy!

What other plans do I have in mind? Well, funny you should ask because I have many other things running through my mind for the near future (don't I always), in no particular order:

* Going to see Kung Fu Panda 2 tonight! The first one was hilarious, so looking forward to it

* I just finished reading Home by Bill Bryson (my favourite writer!) and have just started Beyond Belfast by Will Ferguson. So far, I am loving it and I am only a few pages in! btw if anyone wants to buy me a Kindle, please feel free!

* Drafting a freelance writing plan - this is something that I have procrastinated on for too long and it's time to get my butt in gear. I want to start pitching articles to publications and picking up various jobs here and there on the side. Project for the summer! I am working on setting up an interview with someone in the next week so that I can complete a profile on them for a local magazine I recently came on board with - this is a great start, but I want to do more here

* I am having a one-hour massage on Friday evening - my boyfriend got me a TeamBuy gift certificate for Christmas and I still haven't used it!! (did I mention I put things off?) Looking forward to this too because my muscles have been very sore this week and I hold a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders so those areas need to be loosened up BIG TIME

* Continuing to apply for jobs as they come up (see neck/shoulder tension pain above) - hopefully I will either hear from my old boss in the next month or so about the  job she recommended me for, or that something will move forward in terms of making my current position more permanent. Getting tired of waiting (and not being able to go to the dentist)!

* This weekend I am participating in the Weight Watchers 5k Walk-It event in Halifax (Sunday). I am looking forward to getting out, maybe meeting some other local WW ladies, and getting some exercise in the fresh air. I walk and hike every week, but there is something about the energy of a communal walk that is exciting *

* Speaking of fitness, I am hoping to sign up for either a weekly yoga or Zumba class. These are both activities I really enjoy, however I am on a tight budget so I have to search around for what I feel is the best deal, and for what is in the most convenient location since I don't have a car. I walk every day and hike on weekends (see below) but it's not enough to keep fit so I want to add something more to my routine. Also, part of what I want to work on in the near future is branching out my friends circle, and I am hoping that taking a fitness class will help me meet some people. A girl I work with takes a weekly yoga class, so I am looking into possibly joining that because it would be nice to go with her and get to know her better (which would strengthen both my personal AND work social ties)

* Continuing with weekly hikes with the boy on weekends, and cooking a new recipe every week are two things I want to keep focusing on - we are slowly making our way through some great trails in Halifax, and in other places we visit. I have come to really enjoy it - I just love the fresh air, seeing nature up close, and the physical challenge. In terms of cooking, I find I am also liking that more and more. I made a pretty awesome lasagna on Sunday that I'm quite proud of and will cover my suppers the entire week. This goes hand-in-hand with the fitness goals, and with my overall attempt at keeping up a healthier lifestyle and continuing to lose weight (it's a process, as I have said before).

So, what about YOU? 

What have you been up to lately? 

Do you have any plans or goals for the near future that you want to work on? 

What are your summer plans/hopes? 

Can you relate to any of the things that I write about above, or are you involved in any of these things too? 

I'd love to hear what's going on with YOU!

*My Weight Watchers membership runs out the end of this month, and honestly I don't think I am going to renew. I have nothing against it, and I have really enjoyed the program - it has definitely helped me develop better eating habits and I love the community that the online program cultivates. That being said, I am at the point where I am really tired of recording everything I eat and I don't feel that I need to anymore (at least for now). Also, I felt that (for me and my lifestyle) there were some limitations to the online system that I found frustrating - mainly the lack of variety in the food catalogue. There were a lot of foods that I could not find, and either had to go through a lot of work to find the nutritional info elsewhere, or estimate based on something similar with no way of knowing how accurate the points calculation was. Also, now that I have developed more positive eating habits, I want to turn my focus more to fitness for a little bit.  I have heard rave reviews about My Fitness Pal, and it's FREE (again, I am on a tight budget) so I think I am going to give that a try. NOTHING against WW whatsoever, and I would actually strongly recommend it for anyone who is trying to live a healthier lifestyle and lose some weight because it's really helpful, but I'm just ready to try something else.

TGIF

Let's call this post Thinking Gratefully going Into Friday (aka TGIF - catchy, right? I know, you can say, I'm a genius with the wordsmithing). Though, technically we are going into the weekend, not Friday....ah well, whatevs!

Just a few things that I'm loving this week & this weekend:

* Mocha Coconut Fraps from Starbucks
* My friend Lauren's new wicked awesome blog!
* Realizing there is a Zara and  Forever 21 within walking distance of our hotel in Montreal - WIN!
* Trip planning with the boy (oh so many emails back and forth, but we got some wicked deals on our hotels thanks to his awesomely big brain...ok not writing awesome again)
* It's not raining today!
* Games Night and Retro Dance Party on Saturday!
* Getting back on track with eating and walking
* Getting summer clothes out of storage!
* New writing opportunities (stay tuned!)
* Mentally listing new books I want at Chapters
* Long overdue call with the bestie on Sunday!
* Finding a super cute dress for my friend's wedding at H&M
* Bringing delish homemade chili for lunch every day
* Random dance party to Usher in the car with my sister

Hope your weekend is full of lovely things! Remember to thank and hug your mother!
(Mothers are awes....dammit)

This I Know For Sure

On this Friday, I felt I should share some of the important lessons I have learned in my few years on this earth (this isn't counting the years I was on my home planet, of course). Expect your mind to blown all over the entire room after reading these little nuggets of wisdom (don't say I didn't warn you).

A few things I know for sure (or that I'm at least pretty sure about):
* They don't make movies or music like they used to (at least not the ones that are mainstream)
* I honestly have no idea what I did before Internet (but I'm pretty sure I lived in a cave and rubbed sticks together to make fire)
* Cat love never fails to cheer me up (and I want to adopt another cat right now so bad I can taste it! Well, not taste the cat I mean. It's an expression. Can you imagine? Blech)
* Being short is actually kind of awesome - I never have to worry about leg or head room! WORD!
* Whoever invented dessert was an extremely smart person whom I love unconditionally (diddo for those that invented coffeemakers, rice cookers, shoe racks, coloured pencils, firefighter calendars, and BLOGGING!)
* Women make amazing bosses and mentors (I should know, I've only had female bosses, including my mom - though in reality she's not my boss, I just let her think she is)
* You get back what you put in (and that goes for EVERYTHING in life), no matter how bad things get there is ALWAYS someone who is worse off, and things always eventually work themselves out
* I am a very lucky person in many ways and should remember that more often
* I hate winter. And running. And running in winter.
* Politics is essentially playground mud-slinging transferred to adults in suits (with egos the size of Antarctica)
* I can watch the same Friends episodes about 5,467 times and still laugh out loud at the jokes
*I will never marry Kevin Spacey, except in my dreams (still holding out hope for Prince Harry though!!)
* Speaking of the Prince, Will and Kate are a very cute couple but if I hear one.more.effing.word. about their wedding I'm going to go over to England and bomb Westminster Abbey (I think this gem was the last straw for me)
* There are a lot of beautiful things happening in the world, we just have to look for them
* I think there is a significant hole in the ozone just from the Post-Its and pieces of note paper that I use on a daily basis
*I like washing dishes. There, I said it. And, yes, I know I'm weird but thanks for reminding me
* I can't wait to visit Ottawa and Montreal in May - wanderlust is killing me!

And last but not least...
*...I can't wait for the weekend!! I have my mom's car all weekend since she's out of town, which is awesome! Tonight I'll be having a relaxing supper with my sister than going out to a club with some friends and the boy, tomorrow brings laundry, hopefully a call with my bff in Alberta, hiking, dropping my sister at a dance, and having a movie night with the boy. Sunday probably brings more laundry and some other "housekeeping". Not super exciting, but not too shabby either!

What do YOU know for sure? What are you up to this WEEKEND? (it's ok if you have to gather the pieces of your blown brain and put them back in before you answer)

And if it hurts to be so blind, why don't you try bein' kind?

This video (discovered on this site this morning) made my day:



Isn't that heartwarming? I know, some of you are probably barfing from the cheese-overload, but I admit it, I can't get enough of this kind of thing. These random acts of kindness and fun that you occasionally see in our over-sexed, over-violent, over-isolated world.

Perhaps that's why they warm my heart so much - because sometimes it seems you don't hear about or see them happening very often. Well, I think the truth is that they happen all the time but we just need to pay attention to them more and give them more value.

When was the last time you did something kind for a stranger? I'm sorry to say I can't even remember when the last time was for me. It's funny though because anytime a stranger has done something nice for ME, I remember it ALWAYS (and I have a terrible memory, so that's saying something). For example, I still remember the time a few years ago when my mom and I pulled up to the drive-thru window at a local coffee shop and were informed that the woman in the car in front of us had paid for our entire order! We were both completely dumb-founded, and to this day thinking about that small, tiny gesture makes me grin like an idiot.

Or that time my car got stuck on a hill while driving home in a huge snowstorm, and a man walking by (as well as one from the car behind me) pushed on my bumper until the tires were freed.
These are all incredibly SMALL acts in terms of effort and time. They were not sweeping acts of society-altering reform, but things that only took a few minutes and affected only me. But look at the lasting impact these small acts have had on me! The fact that I still think and smile about them years after they have occurred just goes to show how much gestures of kindness can mean to another person.

It can be so easy to get caught up in our own "stuff" and in the negative occurances that happen in the run of a day, that we often forget that there are other people around us and that they are dealing with their own negative "stuff". Everyone has a story, everyone has something weighing on their mind and everyone needs a pick-me-up now and then.

I don't mean to lecture about how we should all treat each other better, because trust me, I'm very guilty of not engaging with others as much as I could. I tend to be shy and keep to myself and rarely engage with strangers in any case, let alone to do something nice for them. I'm just saying that watching the video above and reading the linked post opened my eyes to the fact that I (and human beings in general) close myself off an awful lot and that is not always necessary. It made me want to go out and do something nice for someone I've never met, and I think this is something we should all consider doing at some time or another.

Who knows if I will actually do this; chances are I'll forget all about this video and lesson in a few days, caught up in those errands I have to run, that car that cut me off, or that cashier that barely looked at me. That's usually what happens with these kinds of lessons, of course; they become overshadowed by life and its everyday annoyances.

But, hey, I still remember that lady at Tim Hortons, don't I? So, perhaps there IS a chance I'll remember this lesson too and do something nice for someone this week. And perhaps you will remember to do this too. Chances are if you and I go through with it, someone else will pass it on, then that person will pass it on, etc, etc, etc. And if that happens, think about how much more love will be out in the world.

Who knows, you might just make someone's day. And isn't that enough of a reason?

For more on how to make someone's day (and yours), visit the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation website (oh yes, it exists).  Or check out this song.

Right Here, Right Now

Currently I am...

...wearing my multi-coloured print, slightly kooky silk skirt (going out for dinner tonight - it's fun to dress up sometimes, isn't it?)
...loving my friends and family (one of my bff's threw me a surprise bday party last weekend! What a sweetheart - makes me feel like an ass complaining about birthdays)
...figuring out what to do for New Years Eve (NO clue what to do/where to go...what are you doing?)
...thinking about all the things I have to get done (ugh - clean, mail cards, send job applications, shop, make a dip for a pot luck next week, wrap gifts, etc)
...reading Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls (loved her first book, The Glass Castle, so had to see what this one was all about)
...craving movie theatre popcorn with lots of butter and dill pickle seasoning (*drool*)
...listening to Christmas music (DUH!), namely Glee and various on Grooveshark. This is one of my new favs.
...discovering my love for making art again (I painted a lovely bday gift for my mom that I hope she likes!)
...watching Dexter (this season's almost over, wah!), Grey's (I'm behind!), hopefully Christmas movies soon (Muppet Christmas Carol and Christmas Vacation are two personal favs)
...playing with my hair. A LOT (it's bugging me, but getting it done on Saturday and can't wait - need a trim and gonna dye it a wicked red colour - tee hee)
...learning to never give up because you never know when things are going to get better

I should note that this post idea was stolen from Hope Dies Last and I cannot take creative credit (though I'd like to).

What are YOU doing right now?

fear.less

I had to post this story, as it really spoke to me (and I also felt it related to my discussion of fear in my post yesterday).

I subscribe to regular emails from an online magazine called fear.less, and this is my email from today:

We're anxious, fearful, insecure people. These parts have a lot of pull over us and even when we fight against our own wretchedness and try to improve, we still lose. We begin to believe that no matter how much we do, we just can't change. Hopelessness is created and sustained by self-bullying.

What if instead of exhausting ourselves with doubt, we listened to the parts of us that encourage?

You know the ones. We forget them because it takes quiet and safety for them to come out, and bullying ourselves doesn't make us feel safe.

But these parts do (very much) exist. And when they are heard and heeded, they're powerful.

They give you energy rather than you spending it. You feel nourished, not judged.

Sustained, not drained. They show you that you're all right, maybe even good. You're comfortable, at ease, able to pause instead of quickly react. They show you that you may even be mostly kind and honest.

You may have felt these parts when you've:
-supported a friend even if he's disagreed with you
-expressed patience with a challenging colleague at work or school
-allowed yourself to smile at someone despite your angry, defensive mood
-laughed so hard at a joke that you remembered it all day and it made you laugh every time
-asked someone else how they were feeling even though you felt extremely sad
-paused and noticed if you were about to create unnecessary personal drama
-had a good idea for a project that you didn't care if others approved of
-written something - a line, an article, a blog post, a note to a friend that made you smile
-held back and given guidance only when your child asked for it
-pushed yourself to learn something small you didn't think you could learn
-felt the sincere kindness of a stranger that made you feel super grateful
-went to a meeting even though you felt nervous to contribute
-walked outside in the cold in a big puffy coat alone or with your dog and felt cozy
-completed a task that weighed heavy on your mind for weeks prior
-remembered a memory of someone you once loved who taught you something about yourself
-done the dishes or made dinner even though you really didn't want to
-stayed calm for even a minute during an intense situation or conversation
-felt lonesome and sad and instead of drinking beer, you ate carrots
-shared your second idea even though everyone hated your first one

Sometimes you really make an effort and things work out great. Other times things turn out only okay. That's just fine. Even though you may feel like a hopeless, sleepwalking, nervous fool, these parts show you otherwise. They have proof.

"You're more than just your hungry, habitual parts. Remember that one time you did that one thing?You were super strong then, so we know what you're made of."

These parts show you the fresh reserves of strength, tact, creativity, and gratitude hidden behind your fear.

Before we go deaf listening to the noise, let's realize the power in listening beyond it to the parts of ourselves that matter.
This weekend, take some time to pause and listen to your special, good parts since they're there. If you don't listen, who will?

(fearlessstories.com)

The thing about fear is that it doesn't discriminate - every single person in every single country, every colour, race, gender, age and sexual orientation - EVERYONE experiences it. There's nothing WRONG with being afraid. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you human.

And most of us experience it more than we let on and let it get in the way of us doing many amazing things, and that's too bad. I think if we were all more open about our fears and insecurities that the world (ironically) would be a much less scary place. Next time I feel scared, I'll take solace in the fact that I'm not the only one.

You've Come a Long Way, Baby

Guess what, faithful readers?! Today is a very important day. Why, you ask? Well, today is.....

MY 100th BLOG POST

(cue the orchestra!!!)

Ok, I realize that this day is probably only exciting for me, but throw me a bone here. I'm not going to lie, when I first started this blog and set the goal of building it into at least a productive hobby, I didn't think I would stick to it. Generally I don't stick to things for very long as I get bored and moody very easily. So I'm quite proud that I've reached this point! It's taken almost a year to get here, but except for a few gaps here and there I've kept up with a schedule quite well!

I've also kept up with my goals of building a presence and starting conversations on Twitter, and on blogging forums such as 20-Something-Bloggers and She Writes. I feel that my writing has become stronger, and I've met a few great people through my writings. There is still so much I want to do with this blog and I still have a long way to go, but I'm most concerned with just enjoying the process. I have not only enjoyed writing my own blog, but I have stumbled upon some other blogs that are just AWESOME, written by strong, independent, quirky and creative women who are carving their own path in life and whose posts constantly make me think, inform me and make me laugh and smile. I couldn't imagine not keeping up with their writings now that I've done it for several months.

Anyhoo, to go with the whole "yay 100 is an awesome number!" theme, here's a list of 100-related things I think are cool (why not, right?!):

* The 100 Thing Challenge
* 100 Things To Do When Ordering a Pizza by Phone (because apparently, just ordering the pizza isn't enough activity)
* 100 Things To Do Before You Die, aka Creating a Bucket List (or you could be stupidly ambitious like me and create a 30 B4 30 list!)
* 100 Favourite Canadian Things (ummm whose the moron who voted for "our changing seasons?! That's certainly not one of my favs)
* 100 Jobs in 100 Days - such a cool project (and a creative solution to unemployment)
* 100 Things To Do in an Elevator (good for when the elevator is actually working; because if not I'm only doing one thing - FREAKING THE F$%K OUT!)
* The 100th Monkey Theory (oh yes, Virginia, there is such a thing)
* Billboard's Hot 100 songs for this week
* 100 Skills Every Man Should Know (because apparently women are so helpless that we have to rely on men to know these things *rolls eyes* (Yo, PM, hows about we change "man" to "person" in this title considering we live in the 21st century?! Are you with me?)

I wish you 100 happy thoughts and moments this week!

I soooo hope this is me in 75 years! Well, minus the cigarette...though I gotta be honest, she does look pretty bad ass

Closer to the Heart

If I can be frank, which I usually am on this blog, I don't have much to say today (I know, shocking right, considering most of my posts are about as long as a novel).

I'm also in a bit of a dreamy, looking-at-beautiful-photos-mindlessly sort of mood, so I thought I'd share some of my current favs on We Heart It as opposed to writing words. I just LOVE this website - it's dangerous though as you could easily spend hours perusing photos and neglect more important things like, say, eating and showering.

Didn't I say something about not having anything to say today?? Ok shutting up now...enjoy!

I seem to have an awful lot of photos of either food or animals...not sure what that says about me but anyways...

This whole NaBloPoMo thing isn't looking good if I already have nothing to say on Day FOUR. *sigh* Ah well, I must keep on rolling per my moniker though, mustn't I??

(Don't) Stop Til You Get Enough

I'm not a party animal. I'm also not a homebody. I'm somewhere in between (a tyan? a mebo?).

I like to have balance in my life, and that means making time for relaxing as well as working, watching tv as well as cleaning the house, hanging out with friends and spending time alone. I go a little nuts if I have too much of either side, i.e. too much time at home or by myself, or too much time out with other people. I need to temper each side with a little of the other to stay sane.

There are times when I wish I were a party animal, or that I was one of those people that can go and go and go and never (seemingly) take a break. I see people like that and I think "how the bleep do they do that?!"

But when it comes right down to it, balance is something I feel everyone needs. Maybe not as much as I do but in some measure. The fact is, those people that seem to be "doing it all" with so much ease will burn out eventually. It may not happen right away and they might not see it coming, but it will happen.

I've been in that place, feeling burned out, and it's not fun. It's also not healthy and makes you feel and look like crap, not to mention affects your performance and threatens the quality of time and effort you give to all those activities you are (ironically) racing around trying to get done. I also have friends that do this and they are some of the most unreliable, hard-to-get-a-hold of people I've ever met (although I love them). What good is it checking off all those things on your "to-do" list if you only talk to or see your friends (or have fun) once in a while, read: when all your to-do's are completed.

On the other hand, I know people who are "all play and no work", that never seem to do anything productive with their time (except drink and maybe stalk people on facebook...oh and eat all their parent's food) and I don't agree with this either. You know you can never rely on them for anything, except maybe relying on you for something.

I sympathize with both sides, but never want to be too much of either. Hence the need for balance.

This all being said, I would categorize myself as a "busy" person who likes to have her hands in many pots, To be honest I'm always doing something even when I'm doing nothing, if that makes any sense, and I get bored very very easily especially if I'm stuck inside or away from people for an extended period of time with nothing to read, watch, or listen to. However I've gotten a lot better at saying "no" to things I know I won't have time to contribute to. Nothing is worse than committing to something and then not being able to follow through, you almost always let someone down and feel shitty about yourself.

I also recognize that not only am I full of contradictions, I'm not perfect (I know, I was as shocked as you). I get lazy and procrastinate as much as the next person and I'm the WORST at starting things! It sometimes can take me forever to get to things that are not immediate priorities. I just try my best and recognize when I need to get things done and when I need down time.

Putting this into practice, I literally try to plan down time and "do stuff" time into my week - if I know I'm going to be out Tues and Wed night, I make sure I keep Thurs night as a "night in". Even if I haven't scheduled a relaxing evening or day, I pay attention to how I feel and if I get a portion of my tasks done and I'm feeling tired, I take a break. Even if it just means sitting and reading a magazine for 20 minutes, or grabbing a glass of water, it's still helpful to inject that little bit of tranquilizer into the moment and sloooow things down.

Obviously, there are some tasks and responsibilities that can't wait; they need to be done when they NEED to be done, not when I feel like it. Also, don't think I'm some kind of neurotic, OCD nutjob that schedules every minute of every day of her life (my condition is getting a lot better thanks to my new meds *I kid, I kid!*). However, it's important to realize that some things CAN wait, and you're not some kind of failure if you don't check every item off your list all at once. Give yourself a break.

I don't always practice what I preach but I try to give myself a break whenever I can. For the most part, this is how I try to live my life - with balance. And you should too - unless you have a questionable past, I'm assuming you are human (like me) and we humans can't do it all. It's ok to rest and relax once in a while - in fact, we need it.

Some of the things I do when I have a lot of energy are: housekeeping, blog or write articles, take a workout class (have tried Zumba a couple of times and love it!) or go for a walk, go shopping, put on funky music and dance my butt off and/or sing at the top of my lungs, go dancing/to the movies/out for supper, lunch, or coffee/to a fun event/on a quick roadtrip (with friends), make plans and lists, etc.

Some of the things I do when I don't have so much energy and want to relax: read (books and magazines - currently reading The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver and the latest issues of Vogue and Lucky - and the Saturday Globe and Mail if I happen to get a donation from mom), watch tv (current favs include Dexter, Project Runway, ANTM, Grey's Anatomy, Big Bang Theory, and Oprah once in a while - judge me all you want but her Farewell Season shows have been amazing so far!) or movies, take a yoga class (this could also go in the above category), kick around on the interwebs, grab a coffee at Chapters and wander around, call or email a friend, paint my nails, listen to jazz or classical music, etc.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to lay on the couch and watch tv. Yesterday I worked a long day, completed a writing test for a job opportunity, and went to choir last night so I've earned it!

What do you do to keep balance in your life? Are you someone who likes balance or not?

Who Are You? (I Really Wanna Know)

I applied for a job yesterday that recommended I list my "Myers Briggs Type" in my application, since it is a position that requires writing/editing/research skills. I was intrigued, both because I had never been asked to submit such a thing for a job application, and also because I have always wondered what my type is and this would be a good excuse to find out!

Here is my result: I am INFJ - Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging

I am sometimes skeptical of these "personality tests"; you have to wonder how accurate they really are and more to that what the point is. Googling my Type yielded various definitions, with different titles (including Counselor, Protector, etc) so it's hard to say what the exact definition of my Type is. However, generally I found the main traits listed for my Type match my actual personality quite accurately. I was pleasantly surprised.

Here are some of the traits that I felt were most accurate (taken from this profile which puts me in the category "The Protectors"):

* take things in primarily via intuition; know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand; put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions
* protective of their inner selves; deep, complex, quite private and typically difficult to understand; hold back part of themselves, can be secretive.
* perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential; rarely at complete peace with themselves; believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments; have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families
* place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world; constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives; not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities (that's not true - I'm good at spending money! I'm also good at eating, which is a very practical daily necessity!)
* are usually right, and they usually know it (hah! Well, not going to argue with that!)
* gentle, caring, artistic, creative; genuinely warm; good listener
* hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring; concerned for people's feelings, try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone; very sensitive to conflict, which may drive them into a state of agitation or charged anger; tend to internalize conflict and experience health problems as a result; don't believe in compromising their ideals; take commitments seriously; seek long-term relationships but can easily move on after a relationship is ended.
* usually works in areas where they can be creative and independent; natural affinity for art, not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks.

Obviously, it can be hard to be objective when it comes to your own personality, but for the most part I feel I'm a very self-aware person who is accepting of both her strengths and weaknesses and I would say all of the above is BANG ON.

I find this so interesting! I also think it's interesting that these types of tests are not used more often. WHY have I never been asked to submit this information in a job application before? If you think about it, these standardized tests can be a more accurate portrait of a person and their strengths/weaknesses than a cover letter and resume because they are more objective.

Obviously, these tests are not completely unbiased because there is no guarantee the "testee" (tee hee) is answering the questions honestly, but at the same time, the questions are in such a format that it would be hard for the applicant to manipulate their answers in order to come out with a specific result, i.e. the type that the employer is most looking for. For one, the test is made up of "yes" and "no" questions that give no indication of what category your answer will place you in (unlike other tests, such as multiple choice, which I would say are easier to predict), and secondly there is no way of  knowing what Type the employer is even looking for, if they are in fact looking for a particular one.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that all employers should be requiring applicants to complete the Myers Briggs test. All I'm saying is the test could be an easy and interesting way to find out more about a person's character and to remove some of the bias that exists in the hiring process (on both sides).

Human beings are obviously much more complex than a 72-question test can reveal - a lot of how we act depends on the circumstances and mood of individual situations. But I also feel that sometimes 'who we are' is staring us right in the face but we don't see it until it's revealed in an honestly answered questionnaire.

Fun factoid: Only about 1% of the population are the INFJ type! How cool is that?! So, either I'm really special or really "special", if you know what I mean.

Have you ever taken the Myers Briggs test? What is your Type? Is it accurate? How would you feel about including your Type in a job application?

If you wish to take the test, you can do so here - give it a try; you might learn something about yourself!

The Best Day of My Life

I've seen a lot of buzz around the Blog and Twitter-sphere lately about what different people consider their "ideal day", i.e. if they had a day off with no obligations, what would they do? I've seen this discussed on some blogs I follow and have even recently learned of a local blogger challenge along these lines, and it got me thinking about what my "ideal day" would look like.

In this case, I'm NOT assuming that money is no object, because (though this is also fun to think about) I feel it makes the parameters WAY to broad; essentially it means you could do anything you want, and I want to keep things a little more realistic. Call me boring if you want, but I think it's possible to have an "ideal" or close-to-it day without venturing too far!

Well to start with it would be sunny outside with a slight breeze (around 20-25 degrees would work - NO rain or fog, Halifax - I mean it! I know that will be tough for you, but work with me here). I would rise not too early but not too late (maybe around 8am), feed the cat and such and head out into the sunshine.

I would hop in my car (yes, there would be a car sitting in my driveway just for this one day to make things easier), blast some 60's or 70's rock music with the window rolled down and head to Coastal Coffee for an awesome breakfast - cappuccino, yummy food (perhaps the Deee-Loxx or Eggs McCoastal?), perhaps a yummy, fresh, warm muffin (best thing about daydreams is calories don't count). I'd take my time nursing my caffeine, and digesting not only the food but a stack of fashion magazines and the latest issue of The Coast.

Once I had my fill of reading and food, I'd hop back in the car and drive to the beach (any beach will do). There, of course, would be no other people there (except maybe a cute single guy to chat with). I'd lay on the sand in the sun for a while, reading and snacking on gummy candy, maybe going swimming and for a walk. I would get a great tan (not a burn).

After the beach I'd head to downtown Halifax for some shopping (most likely at Biscuit) and definitely refresh my candy supply at either Sweet Jane's or Freak Lunchbox. I'd take my time trying clothes on and finding cute gifts for friends and family (and me, of course). I'd definitely pick up a cupcake at Susie's (she would have a few "E.T. Phone Home" on hand just for me, which are "chocolate cake swirled w/ peanut butter chips, topped with chocolate peanut butter buttercream and E.T.'s favourite candies - Reese's Pieces". Ummm, ya I know) and a Tim Horton's iced coffee then take a walk through the Public Gardens, sit on a bench and people-watch.

From there I would go home to change, clean up and put on one of my new smoking outfits then meet friends for dinner at one of the awesome Greek restaurants around town and have some great wine and great laughs. After dinner we would go to Pacifico or Taboo for a night of dancing and flirting. We would dance until our feet hurt or the lights came on (though I'm willing to bet the former would happen first), then take a walk in the moonlight (or sunrise?!) along the waterfront (most likely with pizza or an ice cream from Cows - can you tell I place a lot of importance on food in this scenario?). We would nonchalantly watch the boats go by, listen to the water lapping and the light over the waves, have some deep discussions, then head home.

Upon returning home I would crawl into comfy, soft sweats with a cup of tea and watch a few Sex and the City, Friends, Glee, True Blood or Dexter re-runs, then curl up with the cat and go to sleep.

Hmm. I mentioned something at the start about wanting to be "realistic", didn't I? Well, think that went out the window right around "cute single guy". Ah well, this is all in good fun, and in any case this day could actually be achieveable so I'm not reaching TOO far.

It sounds cheesy but when it comes right down to it, any day could be great for me as long as it involves a little bit of good food, laughter, travel, the outdoors and some alone time/relaxation thrown in for good measure. It's funny how, no matter how lofty and exotic the dreams in our head might be, in reality most of us don't need that much to be truly happy; and often it's the least expensive and/or free things closest to home that can bring us the most joy. Sure, it would be nice to hop on a plane to Thailand tomorrow, but since there's no way in hell that will happen, I have to settle for what's right here. And sure, on some level that sucks, but in most cases once you really open your eyes and look, you will see that there are tons of "ideal" things right on your doorstep! And what's REALLY great is...well, exactly that - they are right on your doorstep. You don't have to fly for 15 hours and spend $5,000 to get it.

Considering my priorities (that have clearly showed themselves in this post) I could be happy pretty much anywhere where there's food (particularly cupcakes).

*Come to think of it, dancing and singing on a float ala. Ferris Bueller would be pretty sweet too! Perhaps I could fit that in somewhere....hmmm, note to self: will definitely have to edit the above to include more dance breaks*

Get On Your Boots

I have something like 50 pairs of shoes. Mind you, I've never actually been dorky enough to sit there and count every one, but that would be my estimate. When I moved into my apartment, a friend was helping me unpack and started on my shoes. Once she saw how many pairs I actually had she let out various exclamations of surprise and shock, and in her gobsmacked state proceeded to count them. At that time, the count was 40. That was over a year and a half ago and I've definitely bought 10 pairs or so since then.

I know. Shopping is a sickness for which there is no cure.

The thing is (probably like most other people) I don't even wear like half of those pairs on a regular basis. Especially in the summer - I LOVE sandals and hate socks (I basically just wear them because I have to) so when the temperature rises and the sun comes out, I tend to live in the same 4 or 5 pairs of sandals. I also have odd-shaped feet that don't agree with most dressier styles of shoes (my feet are basically shaped like triangles - slim at the heel and wide at the toe. Like a duck) so it's just not realistic, or in any way comfortable, to wear those pairs on a daily basis.

Besides I take public transit and walk everywhere so I'm sorry but I need to be comfy! I have certain pairs of heels that I've worn around enough to know that they are comfortable (it's not as if I wear flip-flops or flats ALL the time) and I will wear those to work, but mostly I wear flat or mostly flat shoes. Most people find this wierd because I'm practically a midget (I top out at 5 ft nothing, on the dot) so technically of all people I "should" be wearing heels (according to the ever-elusive "they").

The thing is I actually (get ready for it) don't really mind being short. I like blending in. Plus, people tend to take pity on you and help you reach things, which can be rather handy while grocery shopping (which makes me think: WHY exactly do stores display some of their merch so freakin high up anyway?! Seriously, is it really necessary to have shirts hanging just under the ceiling so that they require a forklift to get down? I mean, really).

Anyway, getting off-topic here. See, I got to thinking about shoes (deep, I know) after reading a post on one of my favourite blogs yesterday contemplating why women love their shoes so much. I thought it was an interesting question-why the heck DO we love our shoes so much?! I mean, they're just SHOES. As "Mel" says in the post, "their purpose is to protect us from stepping on gross stuff and messing up our feet", not to adorn or make a statement. Shoes have simply morphed into more than protection over time.

I suppose everyone likes their shoes for different reasons and, hey, I'm sure there are some women out there who don't give two shits for shoes and have like 2 pairs.  But I think we've clearly established that I don't fit into that category; and I've thought about why this is and I think hit the nail on the head as to why. It's not because I want attention, or I want to be taller. Sure, I just LIKE fashion and shoes are a part of that, and I just like putting outfits together so part of my love for shoes comes from that.

However, to go even deeper, I see shoes as a vehicle for me to get where I want/need to go. Shoes get me places. They allow me to walk, jump and dance and they carry me along as I do those things. Can you really say that about your clothes? Not really. Clothes can transport you in an emotional sense, but they can't literally transport you somewhere like shoes can.

Think about how important shoes are in travelling - what you put on your feet can make or break your trip. And they not only travel WITH you, but in a way they do the travelling FOR you. Once you travel a few hundred miles in a pair, they become not only associated with particular outfits and weather, but also with the places you have travelled while wearing them. They become memory-keepers for your journeys and your journeys are literally imprinted on the shoes in dirt stains and scratches from the roads you have walked.

Just look at the photo above - seeing their worn, dirty state doesn't your imagination run wild with the adventurious scenarios the wearer must have gone through for the shoes to look like they do?

I know you're probably thinking, "Really, Kim? The Philosophy of Shoes? Little dry on the blog ideas today were ya?" *cue eye roll* And I know it's kinda silly to wax poetic about an accessory, but I don't care. That's the great thing about fashion - everyone has their own interpretation and derives pleasure from it for different reasons. Whether it's silly or not, no one can deny that shoes have become much more than practical protectors; we all have emotional connections to what we wear for one reason or another and that's human.

Shoes take me places; I'm constantly going places; therefore shoes are important to me. And considering the number of pairs I have, it's clear I've been around!

Dream On

As you may or may not know, I'm currently looking for a job. Well, I have a job, but since I was filling in for someone while they were on mat leave and they are now back, it's sort of imperative that I get my butt out the door at least sometime soon. However, it's easier said than done. As you also may or may not know, I've been looking for a job for about 4 months now. This sucks. Especially for someone such as me who is not good at waiting.

Luckily my current boss is like, THE BEST BOSS EVER, so she's being very accommodating while I look for work. I'm basically allowed to stay until I find something else, which at the rate I'm going could be at least another month (ugh). So, thank goodness I'm not in the position I was last year in that I'm actually able to pay my rent (huzzah!). However it is taking longer than I would prefer.

So, as you might imagine, I kind of have jobs on the brain right now. Pretty anything job-related is on my mind. It's there right now, and probably will be another dozen or so times before I head home. My mind wandered the other day as it often does, and I started to think about "dream" jobs. Honestly I think "dream jobs" are not really realistic for most of us, and are frankly overrated. Ultimately I don't care where I work or what job I do as long as I enjoy it, have enough responsibility that I feel useful and productive, have freedom but also opportunities to collaborate with others, and have mobility. Obviously it's nice to make good money, too, though "good" in my case translates to being able to pay my bills in full and still have money left over to put some in savings, enjoy a trip here and there and being able to buy myself something if I really want it.

Still, it's fun to think about - what jobs would I love to do, if money and practicality were no object? With these factors eliminated, I would be doing a job purely out of a passion for it, and for the adventure and fun it brought me. Here's a few jobs that I think would be just awesome (in no particular order except in which they tumble from my brain, and thoughts rarely tumble from my brain in order so there you go):

1. Host of a travel tv show - ok, I'm guessing this would be at the top of the list for many people. And why wouldn't it?! How amazing would it be to stay in hotels, eat amazing food, get spa treatments, lounge by some of the best pools and beaches, and drink some of the best wine ALL FREAKING DAY! And all with VIP treatment...need I go on? (personally, I had me at "food"). Another job that would be very cool (and would fit in this category as well) would be a "hotel reviewer" - I'm pretty sure sites like Hotels.com and the like employ people to go stay in hotels around the world and then report back. I'd be quite happy to do this.

2. Pet-sitter - this might not be one that many others would choose, but I think it would be great. I love animals so getting to walk them and play and cuddle with them all day would be so much fun. I would even love to be a combination house-pet sitter professionally - I love houses, don't mind minor cleaning (and I'm good at it), plus there's the whole adventure and escapage of staying in someone else's home for a while and not having to worry about your own. Sure, it could be fairly thankless, taxing work at times (plus you could very easily be taken advantage of or be put in a hairy situation with some more 'exotic' pets) but you could certainly set boundaries for your work so it would only have to be as strenuous as you want it to be. Professional dog-walker could also be placed in this category (picking up poop is not fun, but let's be honest, pretty dogs are date magnets).

3. Butler - ok, I know you probably think I'm crazy for picking this one, but hear me out! I actually read an article recently in the Globe and Mail about a Canadian Butler "academy" and how real-life butlers are not so much considered "servants" as confidante's, companions and nurturers. As the article mentioned, at "butler school" nowadays you learn about "garment care and laundry, cigars and coffee, wine and mixology, event planning and first aid, even household mechanicals (that's fixing appliances) and private-aircraft management." Call me crazy but these are all skills I think would be interesting and handy to learn (minus the cigar thing)! I would feel a very smug about being able to install an airplane engine (can you install an engine? Is that the right word?) and put on a dinner party for 100 people, all in a day's work. Also, I'd feel ten times more intelligent and cultured than everyone else - I could speak in a hoity-toity English accent and say things like "quite" and people would think I'm quite charming. Plus, everyone knows butlers are privy to all of their employers nasty secrets and exploits, and who wouldn't want to (literally) be a fly on the wall in the home of rich people?

4. Taste-tester - I read a book recently that mentions a chocolate institute in the Caribbean that actually studies chocolate flavours, and they employ people to taste CHOCOLATE! Umm, so where do I sign up?! I'm sure they use similar testers at pretty much all food companies to make sure they are turning out a quality product. I love food and eating, so this would be the perfect job for me. Sure, I'd probably end up weighing about 300lbs, but I'd be happy. Call me, Cadbury!

I've always thought on some level that it would also be pretty cool to be a professional blogger or writer - to get up every day and not go into an office, but merely spend 10 minutes thinking up some mindless drivel and somehow forming it into a readable post (much like I do now), then go out the rest of the day and walk, eat, sit in Starbucks reading magazines, suntan, and shop. But I don't think either of us want that - I'd be forced to come up with constantly witty and engaging material, and you would be expected to...well, read it. What a nightmare.

If you had complete freedom of choice and money was no object, what job would YOU like to do?

Curious Tuesday: Un-birthday's, star signs and cities

Yet another outing of Gala Darling's Curious Tuesday series. Wasn't planning on posting today, but thought the questions were so interesting I had to explore them!

1. If it was your birthday tomorrow, what would be on your wishlist? I would really love a vespa...they are just so darn cute! (Though I don't actually have my license or the money to pay for gas and insurance, a girl can dream right?). A puppy (though this is also not realistic - not enough time or money to care for one; will have to settle for cute YouTube vids of other people's dogs for now). A new pair of glasses (mine are great, but I'd love to have a second pair in case something happens to these - really if that happens, I couldn't move from the couch. I'm that blind. For reals). A tent (I've had camping on the brain lately but realized I have next to no gear). Symphony Nova Scotia season tickets.

2. Do you look after your nails? Do you paint them? If so, do you have a colour that you keep returning to again & again? I HAVE to wear nail polish or my nails break and peel. Also, I bite them to death, stupid me! It's funny, when I was younger I used to bite them right down and they'd be sore all the time, then one day I just stopped..until 2 or 3 years ago and I started doing it again. I know there must be something psychological to that but don't have the brain energy to figure that one out. Right now I switch between a pale pink nail colour and a dark purple (depends on my mood-can't remember the brands, though Sally Hansen is a fav of mine). Generally I'm not a fan of big, fancy, loud nails.

3. What star sign are you, & do you think it is accurate? I'm a Sagittarius (bday: Dec 11th) and I SO fit the description for them it's scary. I'm actually really into astrology and have some books on it at home. I like to visit psychics and read my horoscope and stuff. I was born pretty much in the middle of the date range for my sign, and it seems in those cases your personality fits more closely to your horoscope (though I could just be full of malarky here, it's happened before). Here's a choice reading: Inquisitive and energetic, the Sagittarius is the traveler of the Zodiac. Their philosophical, broad-minded approach to life motivates them to wander far and wide in the search for the meaning of life. Extroverted, optimistic, and enthusiastic, it can be almost impossible to keep the Sagittarius down. They love change. In fact, change is essential for this sign to feel their best. (yup, pretty much me in a nutshell!)

4. What is something you have recently learned to appreciate? Being patient - this is something I'm working on lately as a kind of life philosophy. I realized that I tend to rush and try to make things happen (now!) and it's not good for my mental or physical health. Not to mention that if you push things (in my experience) they tend to move the other way. Life happens as it happens and not how you plan it. So, I've just been focusing on enjoying the present, looking days and weeks ahead instead of months and years, and learning to move and think more slowly. It's going well so far. I've also learned to appreciate my own company - living alone and being single, though I complain about it at times, is great for me right now. I also appreciate my friends more and more because I've had many of them move away in the past year or two and have realized good ones are hard to find! (but I firmly believe when it comes to friends it's about quality and NOT quantity).

5. What is your favourite city in the world, & why? London England is awesome - I've been lucky enough to visit 3 separate times, once for about a month 3 years ago, and I've liked it more and more each time. There's just so much energy, so much history and always lots going on. British culture is similar to Canadian too, so it feels familiar, and it's slightly quirky and makes me laugh. I would love to live there longer than a month someday.

What are YOU curious about this Tuesday??

Yes, I'm Still Alive (in case anyone was wondering)

Well, it's been a while since I've posted! As you can imagine from this, the past couple of weeks have been really busy - away for work a few times plus planning/executing my best friend's bachelorette party - so posting has just been like LAST on the priority list. I have to make sure I don't do this often though because I found once I broke the routine I also started to lose the drive to blog. Well, not entirely, but my motivation definitely went down, and only in a week! That's how it is with me for most things - I have to make it routine in order for me to stick with it; once it's routine, I've got it down, but it's making it routine that's the tough thing.

Anyway, yadda yadda yadda. Back to the usual (sort of) schedule now. Though I'm sort of torn about what to write about - I feel I've sort of lost the focus of this blog since I started doing my Motivation Monday posts, and the occasional Mama Kat's writer's workshops and Curious Tuesdays - I started this blog as an outlet for my thoughts and opinions, and as a way to practice writing, in more of an essay-style format. But it's sort of become an amalgam of frivolous posts borrowed from others and with no real "content" (NOT knocking blogs that have a more "fun", everyday life focus, I think to each his own, but it's just not really what I had in mind for mine, at least not for ALL posts). I just feel I need to re-focus.

Actually I feel I need to re-focus my entire life right about now to be honest. I'm at a very contemplative time in my life right now for several reasons: I'm still not at ALL happy with how I look - my diet and exercise plan has gone completely out the window. The past couple of weeks with travelling and just plain stress I've eaten nothing but crappy food and haven't been exercising as much as I should. I'm back up to 170 lbs, which I can't say I'm surprised about, but certainly not happy. I'm going to get right back on the horse again because that's what I do but it's with a heavy heart. All I could think of looking at the bachelorette photos was how fat I look, as sad as that is.

I've just had a lot going on this month, and a lot of worries so I've been doing a lot of thinking and trying to figure some things out. Maybe once I do that I'll get back on the diet bandwagon with more gusto, but I just can only seem to manage so much motivation right now. Well, I do feel I'm doing a good job of appearing motivated, sometimes SO good that I even convince myself briefly that I really am feeling upbeat, but when it comes right down to it underneath I'm just not feeling it; my mind is otherwise preoccupied with many decisions.

I don't mean to get all boo-hoo, poor me but I'm just venting - sending my thoughts out into the void, if you will. If for no reason than to get them out of my head! Speaking of getting them out of my head, I bought a journal today - yes, apparently they make them with real paper that you can write on with a thing called a pen; cool, eh? - because I thought maybe writing down what's on my mind, and just ideas I have randomly might help me order my thoughts a little, not to mention record any writing ideas I have and provide inspiration. A way to bring order to my brain in a way. We'll see if I actually stick with it considering my track record with other things, but we'll see!

I'd be curious to hear from anyone reading this who keeps a journal and your thoughts on it - do you find it helpful? How often do you write? What kinds of things do you write? Do you have a formula, or are your notes very random and disorderly?

I highly doubt anyone's reading this anyway since it's such a downer, but regardless, I'm glad to say I'm back to blogging! I'm confident I'll have some more upbeat things to discuss in coming days, once I figure some things out. For now, Happy Weekend (well, what's left of it)!

Curious Tuesday: Crushes, guilty pleasures and sentimentality - oh my!

*This is being posted late bc I was interrupted mid-write yesterday. Just pretend it's Tuesday*
This is my second try at Gala Darling's Curious Tuesday. I think these "meme" things are way overdone (I don't want to be one of those bloggers who revolves all of her blog content around them either) but her questions are always lots of fun and get you thinking about past fun memories and such. I tend to be always looking ahead and focusing on moving forward, so it's nice to look behind me sometimes and remember not just the bad stuff, but the goofy things!

1. Who is your #1 crush? I'm so embarassed to say this, but I've had a crush on Kevin Spacey for years. I just love his voice and he's not conventionally sexy, but there's something oddly sexy about him at the same time. I remember when I was like 16, he came to Halifax (my city - Nova Scotia) to film "The Shipping News" and the papers would report where he went everyday. I seriously went to some of those places later just because he had been there and I got this wierd sense of excitement from it. Don't judge me! At least I didn't stalk him while he was here! Though that would have been really fun...too bad I was such a wimp. I harbour this secret hope that I'll meet him someday (dear god, I'm a loser lol). Aside from this craziness, I am quite in love with Nutty (my kitty-witty).

2. Have you ever tried online dating? How did it go? Any tips? Oh lord, I could write a book on this (a really bitter one), so let's just keep it short - yes, I've tried it (on and off for a few years in fact), it hasn't gone that great (never had much of a relationship materialize from it), and my main tip is to have no expectations. It's easy to have a great deal of expectation placed on meeting someone, but if you do that you're just setting yourself up. I'm really not a fan of online dating anymore and personally don't understand how people find actual normal relationship on there, so I'll just leave it at that!

3. Are you sentimental? Do you keep the things other people give you? I definitely keep things, I'm a huge packrat, but I wouldn't say I'm particularly sentimental. I find I'm either really sentimental about an item or I'm not at all and won't think twice about getting rid of it. There's really no gray area there. This is a tough question to answer though because I'm not really sure what the answer is! lol. I guess the answer is it depends on the item, where and who it came from. In general though, I have lots of stuff and tend to keep things.

4. As a child, what were your primary interests? I was a quiet kid and when not outside playing with my friends (yes, kids used to play outside back then and GASP we didn't have computers and ipods and cell phones so we had to make our own amusement - making up games, playing dress-up, building forts with the entire contents of my mom's linen closet, hide-and-seek, etc. Wow, we had fun) I was usually in my basement creating something - I was always either drawing or painting or making some kind of craft. As I got older I moved into making fashion drawings and more graphic designs. I had a wild imagination and sometimes I miss that - I still have a bit of that creativity but the spark is gone and that makes me sad. It's on my LIST to try and bring that spark back into my life.

5. What are your top 3 guilty pleasures? Coffee (must have one in the morning or I'm like a zombie!), chocolate and sweets in general (I can't resist anything sweet, it's my downfall), and shopping (I don't shop as much as I used to but I find I either buy nothing or a whole load of stuff - again, no middle ground - but my main shopping vice is clothes; well, clothes and purses and shoes. This is what I spend most of my money on, aside from rent of course!)

Now you try!

I Say a Little Prayer for You

Wow, I've been slacking with the blogging this week. I have an excuse though - I was in New Brunswick for work all day Wednesday and Thursday and Friday was crazy busy between dropping stuff at work, taking the rental car back, blah blah blah. Went on another "so-so" date last night and wondered why I keep putting myself through meeting guys from these dating websites when none of them ever seem to go anywhere and tell myself to quit it and just sit back and let myself meet someone "organically" except don't really want to when it comes right down to it because then I figure I'll be alone a really long time. Ya know, the usual.

Anyway, time to get back into it! I've had a good weekend so far - had a meeting today about my best friend's bachelorette party, which is 4 weeks from today (man, where the eff does the time go?! Seriously, someone needs to find where it goes, fill up a ginormous truck and bring it back to me!). Not sure if I've mentioned it before but my best friend is getting married on June 5th and I'm her Maid of Honour and as such am responsible for planning the shower and stagette (ok, who uses the term 'stagette' and who says 'bachelorette'? I use both interchangeably but some have looked at me like an alien when I use the former so I don't think it's as common - is that what the British use? Just curious if anyone else says 'stagette').

I'm really excited because I think Nicole and Brad are a great couple, and even though she's young (24 next week) she's mature and level-headed. They have been together for 5 years, and because she was in school full-time out of the city, and he was in the military, they have been long-distance for a huge chunk of that time. I honestly don't know how they deal with being apart for such long periods of time. I could never do it! They are definitely committed and are one of those couples that's going to last (and I'm her best friend, so if I didn't think he was good for her, I would say so! Ya feel me, ladies??).

Nicole and I have been friends since we were 5-6 years old and grew up across the street from each other, so it's so wierd to see her getting married, and becoming a teacher - things we've talked about doing someday for, like, forever! I love her to bits. Though when I say love, I mean in a purely platonic way. But if I were a lesbian I would totally tap that...

What?

Anyhoo......

Seriously though, I can't wait. Though this wedding is rather bittersweet for me, both because she will be moving to Alberta within two days of the wedding so I have no idea when I'll see her again, and also because helping plan a wedding does (on some level) serve to remind you that you AREN'T getting married, and are in fact, ALONE. I mean I'm not one of those that sits at home and cries into her Cheetos about being single and stays at home every night wearing sweats and talking to her cat - I have a very busy, happy and fulfilling life without a man. Plus, in the words of Jamie Foxx, I can "buy my own bottles", thank you very much. But let's be honest here, the only real purpose that weddings serve for single people are to remind them that they are, in fact, single. I'm not looking forward to Nicole's grandmothers/great aunts asking me "how my love life is" and giving my sympathetic looks when I answer something to the affect of "I don't have one at the moment" as if they are looking down at a helpless little puppy shivering in the rain on the sidewalk. You poor thing; don't worry you will find someone someday too. Mm hm, yeah. Because, of course, there's something wrong with me if I don't. It doesn't help that I'm about a year and a half OLDER than Nicole is.

But I'm not bitter.

Seriously though, I can't wait....
I already said that didn't I?

Really though, I can't. It's going to be a great wedding, and I'm really proud to be in her wedding party and to be able to share her special day so close to her. Plus, I know the reception is going to be one rocking, East-Coast, drunken party (with an extra side of drunkenness) and who wouldn't be looking forward to that?! ALSO, since it's my best friend's wedding, I have complete artistic license to pull a Rupert Everett at the rehearsal dinner:



"Someday I knew it would end up like this...like some glittering Rock Hudson, Doris Day extravaganza". Haha, oh Rupert, how I love you. Perhaps he will show up unexpectedly at the reception just to surprise me?! Rupert, are you listening?!

Anyway, plans are mostly in place for the shower and bachelorette, plus I took my dress in for my first fitting today (had to have it taken out at the sides...depressing) so it's really starting to feel real. I can't BELIEVE it's only like 6 weeks away! We've been talking about it for 3 years and it seemed so far off, and now it's like, here! I really wonder where the time goes - I know I said that already too, but it's because I REALLY REALLY wonder it!

In other news, I'm on the job hunt yet again since my contract is up in June. Have a job interview this coming week for a job I really want, so fingers crossed. I also bought some hair dye that I'm going to try out today. Observe:

It's not really the best photo, but you get the idea. It's "medium golden mahogany brown", which is quite the mixture. I had been itching to dye my hair auburn for a while, and finally did in February, but it turned out darker and less red than I was hoping. This one has a bit more red in it, so I'm hoping it will be more what I was going for. Hey, as long as I don't come out looking like barney, I'm cool. I really should be cleaning, but I'm going to do this instead, just because I'm feeling productive.

Going to see Girl With The Dragon Tattoo tonight - hoping it's good! I've heard the story is kinda brutal in spots (including a brutal rape scene?!) but also heard good reviews. My dating habits would suggest that I'm a masochist, so perhaps this will be just my kind of movie!

Happy Weekend, all!