Gifts Engraved With Love

I have wedding gifts on the brain. One of my closest friends is getting married this summer, so in addition to the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid, I have been doing a lot of thinking about what to get them as a wedding gift.

Oddly, I find buying gifts for close friends can be easier and more difficult in equal measure – you know them well, so you would think it would be easier to pick something out that they would like, BUT the trick is getting them something personal. You want their gift to be something useful, something that will help them remember this special day and that speaks to them as a couple. Somehow a gift card to Walmart just doesn’t seem to quite cut it, know what I mean?

One idea that I keep coming back to is engraved or personalized gifts. What’s more personal than a keepsake engraved with initials, a special date or other symbol that represents the couple and their life together? What I really like about engraved gifts is that you know they are not going to get the exact same thing from someone else (I mean, honestly, how many gravy boats does one couple need?!).

I found some good ideas for engraved gifts on this site. So many wedding gifts can be just cheesy and saccharine, but there are some elegant options. For example, this bottle of champagne with an engraved pewter label would be perfect for the wedding night! 

I love the heart design on the label:

A set of personalized flutes would match nicely and be a nice keepsake of their special day. It would be rather romantic to share a glass of bubbly each year on their anniversary from the very flutes they drank from the day of their marriage. 

(What is really neat about this particular engraved gifts site is that you can type your message into the provided field and it immediately appears on the product photo – you can see what the message would look like in real-time. Very cool way to make sure you like what you see before ordering.Try-before-you-buy = love).

My friend is obsessed with photography and decorating her home, so a personalized gift that combines these two loves would also be a great choice. I love this wedding frame:

  
It would be great to include personalized text in the windows on either side of the photo – perhaps the words from their first dance song, or handwritten portions of their vows. Or my scrapbooking obsessed friend could even scrapbook these sections using clippings from her wedding invite, fabric swatches, pressed flowers from her bouquet, etc. Again, personalized! Sure, I could get her any old frame but it is so much more special to include their wedding information somewhere.

A photo album would also be a great engraved gift for her (considering I KNOW she’s going to want to print, like EVERY photo from the day off for safe-keeping). Again, I could have their names and wedding date engraved on the front of this one – more organized AND more beautiful.

On the other hand, a personalized gift from the couple to, say, members of the wedding party would also be a great idea. For example, I wouldn’t be averse to receiving one or two (or ten) of these personalized gift chocolate bars:

They could personalize it “To Kim – Our Beautiful Bridesmaid” on the wrapper, along with something about what awesomely good ideas I have.

What? Wedding gifts are still wedding gifts as long as they are going to someone IN the wedding. Come on, it’s not ALL about the bride and groom….ok, so it is but what do you want from me? I’ve gotta take advantage of any chance to get free chocolate!

I’m not sure what exact wedding gift I will end up deciding on for them, but I know it will be personal and it will hopefully be something they appreciate for years to come. I hope their personalized gift will serve as a reminder of their special day and what it meant to them.

What about you? Have you ever had to buy a wedding gift for a close friend? Would you consider an engraved or personalized present? I would love to hear your special wedding gift ideas!

Crafternoon

Me and my friend (who it must be said is also named Kim) both love to do artistic things. In fact, we sort of bonded over art - or art class to be more specific (yay, high school). We would kvetch over making art while I chewed her ear (NON STOP) about my boy troubles (she's a candidate for sainthood, that one).

Anyway, as we have gotten older and more responsibilities and priorities have filled our schedules, we have found it harder and harder to stay in touch with that artistic side of ourselves. We try to take in the occasional art class when we can, and constantly pin/save cool projects we find online that we will do "someday" but never seem to get around to, but it is often hard to motivate ourselves to sit our butts down and make something.

We were recently discussing how disappointed we are about this and we made a plan - see, we are both generally the kind of people who are more likely to stick with something if we a) schedule it and b) have a buddy to share it with (I am not very self-motivated as it turns out). So, we thought, why not schedule a day once per month where we get together and have a 'crafternoon' (clever, right? I came up with that), i.e. an afternoon or art and craft making!

It has worked quite well so far - we have met twice and have come away from both experiences feeling great and motivated to do it again. The first time we painted a mural on her bedroom wall - observe:

Photo by Kimberly Piccott

And the 2nd time (just last weekend) we made these:

Photo by Kimberly Piccott

FELT FLOWERS! This is a craft I found here. What is great about the blog post the craft is from is that she includes patterns for various shapes that you can print right off and cut out! This made it so easy and fast. You can customize these flowers using different combinations and layers of shapes, as well as different colours and embellishments. You can also customize them by putting different attachments on the back - we used alligator clips because we liked the versatility (you can clip them to a jacket, bag or headband, or simply right onto your hair), but you could also use pins, and various types of hair clip or comb, depending on how you plan on wearing them.

This was not only a super-easy and fast project - it was super-affordable too; This is the breakdown of supplies and approximate costs:

Felt sheets - $0.50 each x 16 (I got 2 each of 8 colours) = $8

Beads and sequins - $1 each x 2 packages (Dollar store!) = $2

Small alligator clips - $4.99 for pkg of 4 (Michaels - unfortunately all I could find) - $5

Grand Total = $15 - and you could easily make 2 dozen flowers with all the felt I bought (hundreds with the beads and sequins) so each one arguably costs pennies to make. I already had thread and sewing needles so that cut down on my costs as well. 

I look forward to making many more of these, for myself and as gifts. I know someone who definitely liked my flower - I came home from supper out that evening and the cat had knocked it on the floor and clearly played with it, pulling two of the yellow stems out!! I had to resew that whole section and it did not look as good after that, I'm sorry to say. 

Apparently they also make good cat toys (who knew).

Do you like arts and crafts? What do you like to make? Do you have 'crafty' friends? How do you make time for creative pursuits?

House Parties

Photo taken by Kimberly Piccott

Since I entered what (I guess) you could call my 'late 20's' (I turned 27 in December), there has been a noticeable shift in the lifestyles of my friends, namely more and more people I know are buying homes.

One of the great benefits of this is the greater opportunity for entertaining at home - tiny walk-ups that can barely hold 10 people are replaced with spacious living rooms and rec rooms; actual dining rooms that hold tables and chairs provide somewhere to sit and place your food other than your own lap.

One of my best friends just moved into such a house in January with her fiance, and practically every weekend since they've moved in she has hosted SOME kind of get-together. One of the trends in her entertaining has been what I like to call "At-Home Sales Parties", where you invite a group of friends over and a consultant/independent sales rep of some kind talks to you about the products they offer, and shows you examples, samples and tries to convince you to buy something.

Remember Avon and Mary Kay? Yup, just like those. However, these are no longer your grandmother's parties - my friend's many entertaining forays have opened my eyes to an entire "home-selling" world out there that I never knew existed. I can certainly see the appeal - shopping in your own home can be a much more laid-back, comfortable experience and you can actually try the products out or see how they are used (can't do that in most stores!). Plus, if you host, you usually get free products and/or discounts on what is offered.

And I can also see the appeal for the consultants - you get the chance to run your own little business, but with the support of the bigger business to provide you with all the supplies and training you need, and you can work as much or as little as you want. I'm telling you, if selling Mark (the 'young women's' line from Avon) were open to Canadians, I would be on that in about two seconds!

I do find that some of the products for these lines can be a bit pricey, depending on the company, and sometimes I feel an awkward pressure to spend money (I am not going to lie, I have skipped out on such parties before because I was broke and didn't want to be pressured into buying), but for the most part I think they can be a great way to entertain and shop if done the right way and you end up with a good salesperson.

One of the recent parties my friend hosted was for Lia Sophia - I have to say, I was impressed with this jewelry and ended up buying two pieces (a necklace and a pair of silver hoops). Their stuff is good quality and the prices are a bit high, but still reasonably affordable for most budgets (although, for the higher prices are are getting good quality, so it makes it less painful). I really liked the consultant that my friend had also - she was really nice, but not pushy, and knew a lot about the pieces. My pick: The "Parade" Necklace.

Pampered Chef and Epicure are two parties that friends of mine have hosted but I haven't attended. I have looked through the catalogs though and many of the things look and sound super-yummy. A lot of their items are cater toward convenience, which is nice when you are someone who is busy and doesn't like to cook (like me). The prices are also pretty reasonable here, which is another added bonus. My picks: Pampered Chef - "Round-Up From the Heart" 2008 Trivet (they donate $2 to Food Banks Canada for every one purchased!)/ Epicure - Smoky Bacon Salad Topper

I have been to a couple of these parties - in case you couldn't tell from the company name, these are all about sexy toys and bedroom accessories (meow!). These parties are always a lot of fun, and they offer a bunch of different packages depending on your preferences. One package they offer is the "Unleashed" party, where the consultant demos the products (in a PG way of course - clothes stay on, people) and you and your friends can try them on and take funny photos. It's a little crazy but also a comforting and discrete way of buying some sexy products for yourself (and your partner, if applicable).

What is really neat about the Halifax branch is they have a "Party Pad" downtown here (within blocks of all the great nightlife) that groups can rent out and it has a full kitchen where you can bring whatever food and drinks you want and you get VIP cover into a nearby bar with your fee. Definitely a unique idea for 'girl's night out' or bachelorette. My picks: Hah - yeah right! I don't kiss and tell ;)

Have you ever been to or hosted an "At-Home Sales Party"? What did you like/not like about the experience? What is your favourite home-party company?

No, I'm a Weather-Girl

I have heard a lot of chatter lately about high school reunions - a couple of bloggers I follow have attended theirs, and I heard an ad on the radio the other day for the 30 year reunion of a high school in my area.

This got me thinking about my own high school reunion, which could potentially be coming up somewhat soon, considering my 10-year mark will be in 2013 (wow, hard to believe). I am really torn about whether or not I would want to go, as I assume most people are.

On the one hand, it would be really fun to see what everyone looks like, find out what happened to people that were such a big part of your life at one time, and reminisce about the past. It would be like taking a little temporary time-warp back to a time when life seemed really complicated, but was actually quite simple and carefree compared to post-high school standards.

However, in the age of Facebook and Twitter, I feel like I AM up to date about the lives of many people I went to high school with. Even though I don't talk  to them often (or at all - shameful, I know), I can hear about their major life events through status updates and photo albums.

Also, I would not say that high school was necessarily a completely enjoyable experience for me. I enjoyed it, for sure, and I had some great times but I also have painful memories associated with particularly the last couple of years because of some emotional problems I was going through. I would be lying if I said I didn't have regrets about that time - part of me feels that if I could go back in time and make different choices that I might be in a very different place in my life right now. Also, I was not one of the most popular people - I had friends and was involved in lots of activities, but I was also very shy and got good marks so most of the popular kids thought I was a goody-goody, if they even noticed me at all. I had a few core friends, but was sort of friends with various people in different groups, plus I tended to be friends with people no one else would be friends with because I felt bad for them. All of this worked together to make me a bit of an outsider.

But I have taken enough life experience under my belt in the last 8 years that I know that regrets are not really worth it, and there are no guarantees in life no matter what choices you make. Besides, even though I was a very shy, self-conscious person, there was also this streak in me that didn't give a shit about what the popular kids thought of me. Obviously I DID care to an extent, but for the most part I accepted and was happy with my position.

So, I guess in that way, part of me really doesn't CARE about my reunion. What point is there REALLY in getting together with these people for one night and then going back to our respective lives, nothing changed?

I feel like, in a way, reunions are way overrated. I feel like a lot of people go so that they can prove to people that used to make fun of them or that once said or did something mean to them that they are really awesome people now. I feel like a lot of people see it as a competition in general - Who is married and who is single (or *egads* divorced)? Who has the coolest job? Who is the richest? Who has the hottest spouse? Who has visited the most countries? Lets be honest - other people's misfortunes often make us feel better about our own lives.

All of that is SOOOOO lame and proof that regressing back to high school is not necessarily a good thing. So much about high school is drama and status and I feel like getting together with people you went to high school with could possibly transport you back to that environment again, wherein you all sort of morph into the roles you once played.

This all being said, I will likely go to my reunion (if they have one) if for no other reason than curiosity. And I am sure most people go to their reunions in a mature frame of mind and see it only as a chance to catch up, nothing more, and my wonderings above about the negatives of these events are completely silly. I wonder if it depends on the type of reunion it is - for example, I feel like the 10-year reunion is far enough away from the high school experience that you all have grown a lot, but at the same time it is still close enough that some of the insecurities are more likely to reappear (or still be there)? I don't know! What do you think?

Would you go to your high school reunion? Or, on the other hand, HAVE you gone to one? What was it like? What do you think about high school reunions in general? I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this subject...

Happy Hump Day!

PS: Have you seen Romy and Michele's High School Reunion? It's really dumb but funny. I love Lisa Kudrow so much - she's so good at playing the 'flake'. AAAAND did you know that they made a follow-up in 2005 called "Romy and Michele: In the Beginning", starring Katherine Heigl?! That's right, they went there. The funniest thing is they made it for ABC Family (? Yes, because I would want my young children watching scantily-clad, ditzy women stumble around?). I would love to watch that sometime just to see how BAD it really is (oh, you know it's bad). 

This is one of my favourite parts of the movie. I love two things very much about this clip: #1) That the girl in the peach suit standing next to annoying-weather-girl-that-I-want-to-punch-in-the-face  is Pam from True Blood, and #2) Michele's explanation of her Post-It glue recipe. Genius. 

Think we kissed but I forgot...

Found here

Ok, how the hell is it the weekend again ALREADY? I'm pretty sure I say that often, as do most of us, but still! And it's mid-July?! I feel like the summer just speeds by and I am constantly struggling to fit in everything I want to do before September comes!  *sigh*

The good news is it's FRIDAY and the work-week is therefore closing! Even though I am excited about this, I should say work is good lately - not too busy but not boring, getting work done...also it looks like things might be moving forward a bit towards me being hired permanently. From what I know, they will be doing interviews the week of August 8th for my job, which means I should have an idea if I am going to be ousted by some internal candidate or actually have a shot at taking the job for myself by mid-August. Only another month! I can stick it out another month. However, there is still no guarantee I will get the job so I am continuing to apply for things. I have several applications out there and have not heard from anyone in a WHILE - the waiting is driving me NUTS - but I know from experience that this is a slow time with people on vacations and stuff. Same thing happened to me last year and BOOM! The beginning of August I got a bunch of calls.

Soooo to make a long story short (which is admittedly tough for me) nothing much has changed but things are slowly moving forward. My current plan is to stick it out until mid-August and if it looks like I will be temping a bit longer I think I may take a part-time gig on the side to make a bit of extra money (answering phones or something easy like that). I am really hoping it doesn't get to that point but being tight on money is really stressing me out (it's probably my biggest stressor in life right now) so at least this would help me feel more comfortable financially. I am expanding the range of job types I am applying for in the hopes that this will help my chances of finding something permanent soon, and will just continue to keep my eyes and ears open, follow up, and think positive! On and on it goes...

Anyway, back to the important news - the weekend!!

Things I am excited about right now:
* The boy is playing in a softball tournament this weekend and I am going to their first game tonight. No I will not be wearing a cheerleading outfit or carrying pom-pom's (although I am sure he would like it) I don't want to scare the children.

* I have my mom's car tonight and tomorrow morning because she has been away. Since I don't have my own car, I feel so free when I do have one; like I could take off to wherever I want to go! Endless possibilities! Of course that is not really true because a) my mom would kill me,  b) I am too broke to afford gas to take me anywhere I want to go, and c) most places I would REALLY want to go I would not be able to drive through (except underwater). In any case, it is still nice to have it.

* Getting a proposal done for an article I want to submit to a local magazine. This is something I have no experience in but hope to do more of in the future. I am going to start small and work my way up, see how it goes.

* Beach bonfire Saturday night! Trying to get a group of friends together right now to enjoy the sunset, s'mores, drinks, and relaxation. Bliss.

* I got an offer to participate in an exciting promotion between TeamBuy Halifax and a local PR firm, and I may be completing my activities on Sunday (weather and other plans permitting). If not this Sunday then next. I will definitely do a post on my experience, but that is all I will say for now. Stay tuned!

* I am now a part of the Elite Squad on Yelp! This basically means that I get invited to fun local parties with other squad members, which is pretty sweet. I love writing for this site! I love that there is a site I can write completely honestly and that I can help people (hopefully) with what I write. Next stop: Curing cancer! (hah)

What are you looking forward to this weekend?

Life is Good. That is All.

Life is good right now. I don't mean to brag, and I also don't mean to sound like a hippy-dippy tree-hugger or something. I just feel good about my life right now.

Here are some of the reasons why:

* I've been a member of Weight Watchers for approx. 2.5 weeks now and I've lost a total of 4lbs. Now 4 lbs isn't a huge amount of weight, but it's great for only 2 weeks. Plus, the thing that I love the most about this program is how accountable it has made me. It has completely changed my mindset in terms of what I eat and when. Once I started recording my food, it's like someone propped my eyes open with toothpicks because I realized up until that point I was eating WAY more and of WAY worse stuff than I realized! It boggled my mind how much of a mindless eater I am, and how few nutrients I was actually getting on a daily basis. I have also realized that the IDEA of a healthy lifestyle is scarier than actually living a healthy lifestyle - I was so worried before I started that I'd be starving all the time, would never be able to eat out or treat myself, and that I would generally be miserable and want to naw my own arm off after 4 days. However it's the complete opposite! I CAN have that cookie or that piece of pizza; I CAN go out with friends. It's all about moderation and portions and planning. Anyway, I won't go on and on (because I could, trust me) but suffice to say I'm finding this new healthy eating plan really great for me and I'm already feeling better about how my body feels and looks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed to meet my 1st goal (5% of my weight, or approx. 9lbs) by the end of this month!

* I'm really enjoying my new job - I'm not sure if I have explained my recent career change on this blog, but basically I've been temping since September while I try to find a permanent position and it's been a tough slog. I won't go into all the details here, but suffice to say I worked an admin assistant position that I really didn't like (but unfortunately was my only/best choice at the time), that is I worked there until about mid-February when I was let go because they filled my position permanently. However, it worked out for the best because my temp agency (which is amazing by the way!!) found me another position at the University in a different department and doing work which is actually related to my degree and activities that I really enjoy. I'm still temping for now, but the job will be reposted in the next few months and I'll have the opportunity to apply. For now, I'm just trying my darndest to work really hard and prove myself because this is a really great opportunity I don't want to miss! So, I've been here now approx. 3 weeks and I can already see myself working here long-term. I'm currently assisting with planning a major Conference taking place the end of April so I'm quite busy with that (and slightly stressed!) but I'm learning SO much. I'm really excited to see where this opportunity takes me in the next few months...stay tuned!

* I have been spending more and more time with my lovely boy. I don't like to get too personal on here, but what I will say is that we have a lot of fun together and he is very sweet. We love to go on little adventures, like road trips and taking in events around town. He's great for my weight loss too because he really enjoys hiking as well so we've been going on hikes every weekend for at least 2 hours! Now that it's warming up here, we are able to stay out longer and go on more trails since they are not all snowed in. He has also turned me onto Geocaching, which I'm sort of becoming addicted to. If you have never heard of it or tried it, check out the website - it's a lot of fun and a great way to get outside for some fresh air and to explore the city/town/province/state where you live. We have found so many little hidden gems around Nova Scotia and Halifax that I had no idea existed (and I've lived here my whole life! Hello!). It's a HUGE pastime - I had no idea how many people were into it and that they are so serious about it. If you like to travel and explore and be outdoors, give it a try! If you do, add me as a friend (my username is shortfuuse).

* I've been generally trying to focus more on myself and my personal life lately - I gave up some extracurriculars in order to have more time, both to spend with myself and with others. I have been trying to spend more "me" time, either just relaxing, or doing activities I enjoy like painting and drawing (I've been trying to tap into my creative side more as it's been neglected a lot in recent years and I really miss it). I've also been making an effort to spend more time with my sister and keeping in touch with friends. This has been quite successful and I know it's made me feel more positive and fulfilled. This is still a work-in-progress, but my efforts so far have really made a difference.

So, that's what I've been up to. Like I said, life is good! I think it's important for all of us to re-evaluate our lives once in a while ; to ask ourselves what's working and what's not and try our best to weed out the things that aren't working and replace them with other things that would benefit more from our time and efforts. We are all guilty of spreading ourselves to thin at times, and over the wrong things. Having a million hobbies and obligations doesn't necessarily mean you're a more accomplished and happier person. Sometimes having less external "projects" on your plate is better because it allows you to focus on more important things (like relationships).

Thanks for sticking with me, y'all! I told you I'd be back didn't I? I never make a promise I can't keep! **

What is new in your life??


*Seriously, if you are trying to lose weight and can't find anything to work for you (and you haven't tried it already), TRY Weight Watchers! Know what the best part is? If you sign up for the Online option, you get a whole online profile that's similar to Facebook and a Blog! I'm blogging about my experience here (not sure if the link will work for non-members but give it a try and let me know). LOVE IT!!

**I have to say I've missed this little ol' blog of mine. I have been keeping up with others' posts and reading their blogs has made me nostalgic for mine. I miss having it as an outlet for my opinions and thoughts, and I miss connecting with other writers through my comments and discussions on places such as 20-Something-Bloggers. 
I guess I felt weird about coming back all of a sudden after being gone so long, but then I realized it's my blog and I can do what I want with it. Besides, that's one of the great things about blogging - you can do it as much or as little as you want! Since I've missed it and I've cleared out some of the mental clutter I discussed here, I decided it's a good time to get back into it. I'm just going to post when I feel like it and not put too much pressure on myself. This is kind of the way I'm living my whole life right now - I'm feeling very easygoing and positive - I've made a dent in some positive changes I've been meaning to tackle, and I'm feeling good about that and that good feeling is permeating throughout my life. I still have plans for this space that I may or may not tackle in the near future, but for now I'm just concerned with what makes me feel good, and no matter the format or agenda, it feels good to blog! So, that's what I'm gonna do!

Right Here, Right Now

Currently I am...

...wearing my multi-coloured print, slightly kooky silk skirt (going out for dinner tonight - it's fun to dress up sometimes, isn't it?)
...loving my friends and family (one of my bff's threw me a surprise bday party last weekend! What a sweetheart - makes me feel like an ass complaining about birthdays)
...figuring out what to do for New Years Eve (NO clue what to do/where to go...what are you doing?)
...thinking about all the things I have to get done (ugh - clean, mail cards, send job applications, shop, make a dip for a pot luck next week, wrap gifts, etc)
...reading Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls (loved her first book, The Glass Castle, so had to see what this one was all about)
...craving movie theatre popcorn with lots of butter and dill pickle seasoning (*drool*)
...listening to Christmas music (DUH!), namely Glee and various on Grooveshark. This is one of my new favs.
...discovering my love for making art again (I painted a lovely bday gift for my mom that I hope she likes!)
...watching Dexter (this season's almost over, wah!), Grey's (I'm behind!), hopefully Christmas movies soon (Muppet Christmas Carol and Christmas Vacation are two personal favs)
...playing with my hair. A LOT (it's bugging me, but getting it done on Saturday and can't wait - need a trim and gonna dye it a wicked red colour - tee hee)
...learning to never give up because you never know when things are going to get better

I should note that this post idea was stolen from Hope Dies Last and I cannot take creative credit (though I'd like to).

What are YOU doing right now?

Celebrate Good Times (or not?)

Disclaimer: I don't really hate birthdays, but I do love cats in clothes. Speaking of which, I will gladly accept gifts from anyone who is so inclined to send me one. I would prefer the cat in the above photo, but I will also accept trips to Hawaii if more convenient. Thank you.

So, it's now t-minus 19 days until my 26th birthday. Most other years, I would have had the night planned a month ago - made reservations, sent invites out, developed higher and higher expectations the closer the date came. However, this year is different.

As of now I have made NO plans for the bday. None.

I don't know why but this year I just don't CARE about my bday. It has nothing to do with the number (though it is a little scary that I'll now be in my "late 20's") because that really doesn't bother me. It has nothing to do with not having ideas (I've come up with a few possibilities). Part of me does care, and part of me wants to care more, but I just don't.

You see, having a birthday two weeks before Christmas is not necessarily the most fun. Two weeks before Christmas isn't exactly prime socializing time for people I know - it's always exam time, broke-from-Christmas-shopping time, family get-together time, etc etc. I realize it could be worse (I could have been born on Christmas Day or something - though that certainly has worked out well for Jesus), but it's pretty frustrating when your plans consistently have to be modified or cancelled altogether to accommodate said bad timing.

And it's not just about bad timing - since many of my friends have moved away, or become marrieds, parents, married parents, or on-the-verge-of-married parents they just do not want to go out as much as they used to, if at all. Most prefer a quiet night in to a night out at a restaurant, concert or dancing. Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not knocking quiet nights in - I love these too, and when it comes right down to it the company is more important than the activity. However, it is nice sometimes, especially for a special occasion, such as a birthday, to go out - to get gussied up, drink fancy drinks and eat fancy food, watch people do funny or crazy things, and just let loose.

So, because my preference for celebrating, and the preferences of others, don't necessarily coincide I usually end up compromising "the plan" in order to not (depressingly) spend my birthday alone drinking a box of wine (though come to think of it, that doesn't sound so bad...)

Beyond the above, my friends have also just gotten BUSIER. They have more responsibilities and commitments (as do I) and therefore less spare time. I also hate being the centre of attention and generally get uncomfortable with being "fawned" over, so more often than not I try to plan things around making everyone happy and doing something that everyone will enjoy (which is, of course, impossible) to deflect the attention from me to the group as a whole.

Needless to say, all of these factors combined together serve to only make my birthday plans a huge chore - complicated and tiring. Rather than make me look forward to the day, I just end up dreading it all and worrying that it's not going to work out as I want it to, or ultimately ending up disappointed because it didn't, in fact, work out how I wanted it to.

So, this year I'm taking a break from birthday planning and...well, not planning anything. As I mentioned it's my mom's birthday too so we will spend the day together Dec 11th (we're getting our hair done, going to lunch then shopping as civilized and chic ladies do - or so I've heard), but other than that I will be passing the day with nary a glance or a care.

It's probably most appropriate to celebrate my birthday with my mom anyway, as it were. After all, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been born and therefore would not even have a birthday. And she didn't just give BIRTH to me, she had a c-section and she CHOSE the date. She CHOSE to have major surgery and languish in a hospital bed on her BIRTHDAY, just so that I could be brought into the world. And there is something pretty cool about that (though kinda crazy at the same time - wtf were you thinking mom, seriously?!).

So I guess it's nice to know that no matter what, no matter how many plans get cancelled, how many friends are too busy or too broke to celebrate with me, that there is at least one person out there with whom I'll be sharing this special day.

And if all else fails, I will just "move" my birthday to July. Everyone wants to come to a pool party, especially one with cake!

How do you normally celebrate your birthday? What are your thoughts about birthday celebrating in general? Overrated?

Everybody's Working for the Weekend

Happy Monday! Wow, that's quite the oxymoron, isn't it? I don't think I know anyone who is happy about Mondays, except maybe.....no, what am I saying there's no one who is happy about Mondays.

Ah well, they have to be done though, don't they?

I figured to make this Monday a little more bearable, I would do a quick, happy fun post about my weekend.

Friday (I know Fri isn't technically the weekend, but as far as I'm concerned, the weekend really starts at 4:30pm Fri) consisted of stopping quickly at home after work (which was the first time ever coming home to there and not being greeted by my kitty :( that was definitely sad and wierd...but meh, can't dwell on that!) to quickly grab some clothes, then head to my mom's in Dartmouth. She was away for work Friday and Saturday, which means I had to house/cat/sister-sit for her, and which also meant that I had the use of her car those two days (woohoo!). I decided to give my sister a bit of a treat and take her to Swiss Chalet for supper (I'm sooo boring I always order the Club Wrap, but it's just sooo yummy! They have the best fries).

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before on the blog, but my sister has Down's Syndrome. She's five years older than me but because of her condition, she's more like a younger sister. I'm not going to lie, she pisses me off and she can be very difficult to deal with sometimes (she can be very cranky, shy and quiet - sometimes taking forever to answer a questions or not answering you at all - and not very sociable) but she means well and when she is in a good mood she makes me laugh. Deep down, I love her lots and am fiercely protective of her. Like, if you say or do anything mean to her you'd better watch out for me!! Ok, I'm like the least intimidating person ever (I'm only 5 feet tall!) but I can still bring it if provoked! Just remember, I'm right at crotch and knee level.

...Anyway...

She loves Swiss Chalet and going out for dinner in general so this is a big deal to her. Then I took her home and went for coffee with a friend of mine to catch up. It was a quick visit, but still nice!

Saturday I had a slow morning reading the paper, catching up on blogs, and working on some writing planning. I really want to get more serious about sending pitches and articles to publications and websites and start building up a larger, more consistent portfolio of writing. But I've realized I won't stick with it unless I have a plan, so I've decided to kick myself in the butt and actually start making a list of places I want to approach, subjects for articles, etc. Writing projects aren't just going to fall in my lap! I have to go out and get them. I also started an "Inspiration and Ideas" folder on my computer to save articles and web posts that speak to me and provide good advice that I want to keep in mind. I read all these things on a regular basis and come across so many things that make me think "wow, that's a great idea", or "I'm definitely going to use these tips" but had no place to keep track of them, which seemed silly. It felt good to get some of these things done; I feel much more organized on the writing front now!

Once my sister got up and ready to go, we headed out to run some errands and just get out of the house (my sister isn't 100% independent and that combined with her inconsistent social skills means that she only really gets "out" if my mom or me take her somewhere. Since I don't live at home anymore and don't get to spend time with her very often, I really wanted to take advantage of my time at mom's to take her out this past weekend). We went to the duck pond for a walk and to feed the ducks, but of course it started raining before we had the chance to do either, so we went to Starbucks instead! (is that not the best place to be on a rainy day?). Then we just ran a couple of errands and headed home!

Saturday evening I ended up at a friend's boyfriend's house for a giant games night! I was sort of on the fence about going at all, but I'm so glad I did because I've never laughed so much in my life! We played Loaded Questions, which involves one person in the group reading a question off the card, and everyone else writing an answer down. The answer you write can be as ridiculous as possible and not even have anything to do with the question. Then the "asker" has to listen to each answer and guess who wrote what. Some of the things that people wrote were quite hilarious. I ended up tying to win with my friend Michelle (we each got 5 right)! It's funny that I guessed 5 people's answers because I had never met over half the group before that night, and I think I guessed more of their answers than those of the people I actually knew! Wierd.

After LQ, we played What Mine's Like, which turned out to be one of the funniest games ever. It involves a card being passed around the group with a word or thing on it that is kept secret from one person in the circle. Then each person has to try and allude to what the word/thing is by describing what "their's is like", e.g. saying "Mine is green" or "I have used mine many times today", etc. You can imagine how much hilarity could ensue, both from the confusion of the "guesser" and the fact that the clues people give can be completely taken out of context, if you know what I mean. Literally, my jaw and ribs were sore from laughing by the time we left! I ended up having a 30 minute heart-to-heart relationship chat with one friend when I dropped her off at home. She was worried about some issues with the guy she's dating and needed some advice. She's actually a friend of a friend and we've never had any deep conversations one on one before, so it was nice that she felt comfortable talking to me about her issues!

Mom came home from her trip late Saturday night and Sunday we were slow going, didn't get out until 2pm or so but ended up getting a ton of shopping done. My lovely mother bought me a whole load of kitchen stuff I've been meaning to get, as well as a cute black sweater-cape from Walmart (yes, WM! Say what you will about Wally World but they have cute clothes!). This was such a huge help as I'm still horribly broke at the moment. I finally got my 1st paycheque from the temp job on Tuesday but once I paid a couple of (already late) bills, and had my cat put down on Thursday (which costs almost $150 by the way!! Shocking...), I was basically down to zero again. It's sooooo frustrating living hand to mouth right now, I can't even tell you. I know it will get better, but I have to dig myself out of the hole and get back on level ground 1st, and it's a very frustrating place to be in. Thank god for my mom's generosity and close proximity - she has helped me so much during this tough time and I can't thank her enough.

We went out for supper, and the little boy in the booth next to us was celebrating his bday (he was probably around 8 years old I'd guess). When the servers came around and sang to him, they made him stand up on the booth and as they sang he did this booty-shakin' dance in his spot - it was so funny! Hey, if you're being stared at by an entire restaurant and made to look silly, you might as well go with it, right?

When I got home I did a whole bunch of tidying and putting things away, and I also gathered all the cat's stuff up in a pile to get rid of. It's just too hard sitting there looking at her things sitting around like she's still there, so I wanted to get them cleaned out before the new week started. Clean slate. I'm going to donate as much of it as possible to a local shelter, which will help them out but also make me feel better. It was definitely strange spending the evening at home for the first time since she was put down; I kept expecting her to come into the room or to go into the bedroom and find her snoozing or something. I miss her and I'm not used to the change yet, but I feel very content about it in any case. I'm just happy that it's over with and she's in a better place.

After I tidied I got my Halloween decorations out! I LOVE Halloween! It's definitely one of my favourite holidays, and so I always like to have a few fun things around the apartment (I don't go crazy or anything; we're talkin' orange tablecloth and towels, candy bowl, skull candle holders). I've pretty much decided on my costume, just need to figure out where and when I'm going to where it. There are some murmurings of possible goings-on but nothing set in stone yet. I just have so much fun putting a costume together and wearing it that I definitely want to do something - not just sit around. Gotta burn off all the mini chocolate bars I plan on consuming.

Remainder of the weekend was spent laying on the couch with green tea and watching the Amazing Race! God I love that show; me and my mom are going to do it if they ever start a Canadian version (ummm, by the way Canadian Cable Companies, could you get on that, like soon?!). Is it sad that there are already teams annoying the f#$% out of me? Also, I have to say I'm rather worried for one particular team and whether or not they will be able to get through this thing...

So, that was it in a...well, a very long nutshell. I think it's going to be a good week! I'm definitely going into this one feeling more positive, motivated and organized than last. I also have been thinking a lot about this blog and what changes I want to make to it. I've decided that I want to personalize it a bit more, and so you can probably expect to see more posts such as this one that are more light-hearted and highlight a bit about me and how I spend my time. I'm hoping to create more of a connection with more readers this way. There's no way you will EVER see me writing about ME all the time, or going into every single detail about my existence on this blog, because when it comes right down to it, I'm a private person and I don't want this to be a narcisistic forum. However, I do think that people will enjoy reading more (and I'll enjoy writing more) if I have more of a fun, personal focus to my posts. I guess we'll see!

How was your weekend? Did you do anything exciting? Thinking about making any changes lately?

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop #4: Single White Female

It's been a while since I've participated in Mama Kat's writing challenge, but I really liked her prompts for this week.

The prompt that most spoke to me was:
2.) A list of things you no longer have in common with your married/child bearing friends…and why you love them anyways.

Oooooh boy, I could write a novel about this (but I won't). It's very interesting - there was a shift about a year or two ago and all of a sudden everyone I know was either living with a significant other, engaged or pregnant. As someone who was not even contemplating any of these things, this "shift" was completely baffling to me.

I mean I was (and still am) very happy for these friends, of course, and excited for them to be entering a new stage in life. But on the other hand, it made me think to myself: "We're only 23/24?! We're not adults yet!! When did this happen?!". Now I'm very mature for my age and always have been, so being afraid of "growing up" shouldn't really be an issue for me (I grew up a long time ago in actuality), but for some reason things like moving in, getting married and having kids were very "adult" things in my mind and so it was hard to reconcile that my friends, who were younger than me and still (like me) figuring out who they were, were all of a sudden being "adults".

When this shift happened, I felt like there was something wrong with me, like if everyone else is doing these things than I should be too and WHY aren't I?! It can be very lonely when everyone you are close to has a companion to go take trips with and a date for Christmas parties. I'm one of the only ones in my core group of friends who is single and also lives alone, so there's no way avoiding at least occasionally feeling like a 3rd or 5th wheel. That's not fun.

But for the most part, I love my single life. I love having complete freedom and independence, and to be able to go where I want, when I want and not have to answer to or consult anyone. I could take off for another country tomorrow if I wanted to and I wouldn't have to worry about cutting attached strings, and that's a wonderful thing.
 
However, it's very frustrating not being able to relate to my friends like I used to. Not only are most of them attached, but they all want to get married and start having kids before 30 (if they haven't done this already); they want to settle down and buy a house in the suburbs and have a regular 9-5 existence. They want to stay in and have games nights instead of going out dancing or to concerts. Sure, they can remember what it's like to deal with "single issues", but they have enough distance from them that they don't really understand those issues. It's hard to talk to someone about being single when they can't really relate to what that means.
 
This is fine, by the way - everyone's personality and life goals are different and there is nothing wrong with that - it's just tough to talk to them about the future when our visions of it are completely different (and talking about the future is nice to do with friends). I'm not saying I never want to get married or have kids, but I'm undecided; I want to be 100% sure about those things before doing them and I'm just not there yet, and I don't see myself being sure by the time I'm 30. Who knows, perhaps I'll change my mind in a few years, but overall I feel that I just have different priorities for my life - I want to establish a fun, rewarding career that gives me freedom and mobility, I want to travel, I want to live in other places, etc, etc. There are things I want to do and see and the fact is it's much harder to accomplish this once you are saddled with kids and a mortgage so I'm in no rush to procure either of these.
 
I feel that some people are meant to contribute to the world by building families, and others are not, and I just don't think I'm a part of the former group. I'm just not sure I'm meant to settle down in the traditional sense.
 
In any case, even though my friends have different lifestyles and goals than I do, they are still really sweet, fun, intelligent people and I plan on having many more good times with them. Life changes; people change. That's the only guarantee in life (aside from death and taxes), and that's ok. You keep the good friends you have, go out and make new friends that fit your current lifestyle and outlook, and you move on. We sure would be a boring species if we never evolved our characters and way of life! Who knows who (or what) I will become by the time I reach my 30's (and when it comes right down to it, as long as I'm not working at McDonald's or have giant fake boobs, I'll be pretty happy).

What about you? Are you single or married? Do you have kids? Do you want to do these things? Do your friends have similar lifestyles to you or no? Have you noticed changes in how you relate to one another over time?

I Say a Little Prayer for You

Wow, I've been slacking with the blogging this week. I have an excuse though - I was in New Brunswick for work all day Wednesday and Thursday and Friday was crazy busy between dropping stuff at work, taking the rental car back, blah blah blah. Went on another "so-so" date last night and wondered why I keep putting myself through meeting guys from these dating websites when none of them ever seem to go anywhere and tell myself to quit it and just sit back and let myself meet someone "organically" except don't really want to when it comes right down to it because then I figure I'll be alone a really long time. Ya know, the usual.

Anyway, time to get back into it! I've had a good weekend so far - had a meeting today about my best friend's bachelorette party, which is 4 weeks from today (man, where the eff does the time go?! Seriously, someone needs to find where it goes, fill up a ginormous truck and bring it back to me!). Not sure if I've mentioned it before but my best friend is getting married on June 5th and I'm her Maid of Honour and as such am responsible for planning the shower and stagette (ok, who uses the term 'stagette' and who says 'bachelorette'? I use both interchangeably but some have looked at me like an alien when I use the former so I don't think it's as common - is that what the British use? Just curious if anyone else says 'stagette').

I'm really excited because I think Nicole and Brad are a great couple, and even though she's young (24 next week) she's mature and level-headed. They have been together for 5 years, and because she was in school full-time out of the city, and he was in the military, they have been long-distance for a huge chunk of that time. I honestly don't know how they deal with being apart for such long periods of time. I could never do it! They are definitely committed and are one of those couples that's going to last (and I'm her best friend, so if I didn't think he was good for her, I would say so! Ya feel me, ladies??).

Nicole and I have been friends since we were 5-6 years old and grew up across the street from each other, so it's so wierd to see her getting married, and becoming a teacher - things we've talked about doing someday for, like, forever! I love her to bits. Though when I say love, I mean in a purely platonic way. But if I were a lesbian I would totally tap that...

What?

Anyhoo......

Seriously though, I can't wait. Though this wedding is rather bittersweet for me, both because she will be moving to Alberta within two days of the wedding so I have no idea when I'll see her again, and also because helping plan a wedding does (on some level) serve to remind you that you AREN'T getting married, and are in fact, ALONE. I mean I'm not one of those that sits at home and cries into her Cheetos about being single and stays at home every night wearing sweats and talking to her cat - I have a very busy, happy and fulfilling life without a man. Plus, in the words of Jamie Foxx, I can "buy my own bottles", thank you very much. But let's be honest here, the only real purpose that weddings serve for single people are to remind them that they are, in fact, single. I'm not looking forward to Nicole's grandmothers/great aunts asking me "how my love life is" and giving my sympathetic looks when I answer something to the affect of "I don't have one at the moment" as if they are looking down at a helpless little puppy shivering in the rain on the sidewalk. You poor thing; don't worry you will find someone someday too. Mm hm, yeah. Because, of course, there's something wrong with me if I don't. It doesn't help that I'm about a year and a half OLDER than Nicole is.

But I'm not bitter.

Seriously though, I can't wait....
I already said that didn't I?

Really though, I can't. It's going to be a great wedding, and I'm really proud to be in her wedding party and to be able to share her special day so close to her. Plus, I know the reception is going to be one rocking, East-Coast, drunken party (with an extra side of drunkenness) and who wouldn't be looking forward to that?! ALSO, since it's my best friend's wedding, I have complete artistic license to pull a Rupert Everett at the rehearsal dinner:



"Someday I knew it would end up like this...like some glittering Rock Hudson, Doris Day extravaganza". Haha, oh Rupert, how I love you. Perhaps he will show up unexpectedly at the reception just to surprise me?! Rupert, are you listening?!

Anyway, plans are mostly in place for the shower and bachelorette, plus I took my dress in for my first fitting today (had to have it taken out at the sides...depressing) so it's really starting to feel real. I can't BELIEVE it's only like 6 weeks away! We've been talking about it for 3 years and it seemed so far off, and now it's like, here! I really wonder where the time goes - I know I said that already too, but it's because I REALLY REALLY wonder it!

In other news, I'm on the job hunt yet again since my contract is up in June. Have a job interview this coming week for a job I really want, so fingers crossed. I also bought some hair dye that I'm going to try out today. Observe:

It's not really the best photo, but you get the idea. It's "medium golden mahogany brown", which is quite the mixture. I had been itching to dye my hair auburn for a while, and finally did in February, but it turned out darker and less red than I was hoping. This one has a bit more red in it, so I'm hoping it will be more what I was going for. Hey, as long as I don't come out looking like barney, I'm cool. I really should be cleaning, but I'm going to do this instead, just because I'm feeling productive.

Going to see Girl With The Dragon Tattoo tonight - hoping it's good! I've heard the story is kinda brutal in spots (including a brutal rape scene?!) but also heard good reviews. My dating habits would suggest that I'm a masochist, so perhaps this will be just my kind of movie!

Happy Weekend, all!

Monday, Monday (can't trust that day)

Today's posting is brought to you by the Mama's and the Papa's:



It is also brought to you by the letter "S" for SUCK. Monday's suck. Get it?

Ok so this one isn't so bad so far I guess, but it did come around rather quickly, which definitely does suck (how does this happen?! I swear we enter some kind of time continuum when the weekend comes). Anyway, the good news is that even though it is Monday, I have a lovely weekend behind me.

Friday my mom picked me up from work (yay, no bus!) and I went to pick up a printer that I found on Kijiji. It's a year-old Epson printer/scanner/copier and I got it for $50 which I think is a pretty sweet deal.

Then I went to see the movie Date Night with my best friend, Nicole. It was great to catch up and the movie was really funny! I'm not too picky with movies - it has to be pretty bad for me to not like it but this one was funny with "heart", if that makes sense. I like Steve Carell and Tina Fey to begin with as they are really witty and they had great chemistry in this movie (what a sweet line at the end! "I'd choose you every time" aww). They just seem REAL, you know? They aren't perfect-looking and seem very down-to-earth and intelligent which is so refreshing. The movie was also refreshing in that it portrayed marriage in a very real way - it showed that marriage isn't always fun and sometimes it can be downright boring, but it's important to remember the reason you got together in the first place and appreciate your partner for everything that they do. It may not be earth-shattering but it's a concept that is not often celebrated and that's unfortunate.

Saturday morning I got up at 8:30am and met a couple of friends downtown at the Farmer's Market. This is one of my favourite Halifax sites and one that every tourist should visit. It's usually packed but the atmosphere is so great with people of all ages walking around, musicians performing, amazing food smells wafting, colours of the fresh produce and crafts jumping out at you, soldiering through the wonky layout and haphazard halls/levels and vendors tucked into every nook and cranny. I didn't buy anything but it's just nice to walk around and look and let your senses take in all of the sites and sounds. The market is moving into a large waterfront space down the road next year, which will make the market much more spacious and accessible but alas will (I think) also remove some of the character and quirk that makes the market what it is. Ah well, such is life...

(This isn't my photo, obviously. I was too caught up in the food smells to remember to take any)

We strolled up to Spring Garden Road from there, aimlessly going into stores and looking around. I got a cat mat for Nutty filled with cat nap (which she promptly molested when I got it home and put it on the futon) and got some free cat food from the cashier because the debit machine was having issues (is it sad that that made my day? Such a small thing but it meant a lot). Got a flatbread pizza at Quizno's, then wandered to Sweet Janes and bought some yummy candy. What an awesome store; another Halifax favourite. Then we wandered back downtown to visit yet ANOTHER fav store, Feroz Design, which sells the most unique and beautiful jewelry that is all handmade on the spot. I got a lovely necklace and earring set for $25 (uh, hello!), which I'm happily wearing today (if I can't enjoy Monday I can at least look good doing it!).

After our little jaunt, I went home for a few hours to do some cleaning and writing (submitted an article proposal to a fashion journal based in Ontario! Fingers crossed that they will contact me about actually publishing the article in their next issue!). Mom and sister picked me up around 6 and we headed to Bowlarama for the SPCA Alley Cat Bowl, a fundraiser that two co-workers and I put in a team for (plus their guys to make a team of 5). We played two strings to qualify for prizes, then one free and fun one. We kinda sucked - most of our turns saw only 2 to 5 pins falling, though I DID get a spare on a spare (yes, that's right) - but the important thing is we had fun. I'm SO not a competitive person anyway. I can't play any kind of sport because I have like ZERO athletic ability, but even if I did I don't have the spirit for it. I care more about having fun than who wins. The ladies in the lane next to us were the total opposite - they brought their own balls and got kinda snippy when Alice went to grab one and use it by accident. They also told us that someone has to sit in the "score-keeping" chair at all times. Yeesh. I mean lighten up! It's a charity event for god's sake. I just roll my eyes and shake my head at people like that and ignore them.

My coworkers are great - Jenn in particular is awesome. She's this bouncy, energetic person that's always smiling and laughing. Great to be around! I'm sad I'll only be working with them for a couple more months, but hopefully we'll still hang out.

After bowling, I drove out to the "sticks" for my friend's 80's theme party! It looked like a pile of highlighters and leggings had exploded in her basement when I walked in! Everyone looked like huge dorks, which was really entertaining. We didn't go to sleep until 4:30am!! Had some great chats and a bit of drama (a little bit never hurt anyone!). Then 5 of us trooped out for a yummy breakfast the next day (well, technically lunch considering the late hour we finally dragged ourselves there :)

I went to my mom's after and she, my sister, her student currently living with her from Korea, Jung, and I all went shopping for a bit. I bought a pair of sneakers but nothing else. Wasn't in much of a shopping mood, which is SO WIERD for me! Like, I was seeing things I liked but the motivation to buy just wasn't there. Plus it seemed like all the stores had slight variations of the same stuff. I like to be trendy, but in my own way, I don't want to look like every other 20-something girl walking down the street, so this bugs me. My mom commented that I should go shopping hungover and sleep-deprived more often! I'm sure my bank account would appreciate it.

Then I came home and got some stuff done around the house, relaxed and watched the Amazing Race and got ready for today! It was a great weekend - full but not too full, things to do but not so many that I didn't have fun. Ugh, but then of course Monday had to come along.

I'm not just on edge today because it's Monday - I have to take my cat to the vet tonight for a check-up and that always makes me nervous because she's 14 years old so you never know what they're going to find wrong. Plus, I felt a little lump on her left side that worries me. I'm absolutely dreading going, but it has to be done. Also, I was supposed to travel to Boston this Wed to Fri (my mom's going for business and I was going to tag along as I've always wanted to visit there) but now she might not be going so it's a waiting game til she has a meeting today and finds out. Needless to say I'll be really pissed if I have to cancel my ticket after spending the money (won't get a refund, only a credit. Thanks for nothing, Air Canada) AND looking forward to going away for like a month! I've been feeling the itch to go somewhere for a while and really felt like I needed this trip; to get away and have a change of scene. I guess we'll see...

Wow, what a long rant. Good on you if you got this far! I'm sure you've either fallen asleep or given up on reading all this shit by now. Heck, I have too. Now off to the gym (did I mention Monday's suck??).

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop #1: Let He Who Hath No Sin Cast the First Stone

This is my first attempt at Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop! Each Tuesday a list of prompts is posted, you pick one, write about it, then link back to her blog the following Thursday. I thought this would be a great way to practice writing, and get my mind flowing with creative energy and ideas. Plus, reading others' writing will be a great way to hopefully find some inspiration. All in all, I'm hoping this will be a good way to expand my mind and further my writing (including making me more brave). This will be linked to Mama Kat's website with everyone else's tomorrow, per the workshop code, but thought I'd share on here a little early:

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So, this week's chosen prompt is: #4 “let he who hath no sin cast the first stone…” Is there anything you have judged prematurely, only to find yourself walking in the same shoes later?

For the most part, I like to think of myself as a very non-judgemental person. My philosophy is "live and let live", meaning if someone wants to live their life a certain way and it doesn't directly affect me, than I say "who cares?!". However, I wouldn't be human if I were never critical of others' choices and I'd be a liar if I said I've never thought to myself "they are crazy". We all do it and usually unconsciously.

Even though I consider myself non-judgemental, I do admit that I can be extremely cynical. I've been told I'm pessimistic, but I would call myself a realist. I'm practical and independent. I've always done things on my own and in my own way and that's the way I like it.

I'm sorry to say that I've looked at others who aren't this way with condescension; laughed at their foolishness of doing everything according to another person's wants/needs, rather than their own. Of falling head over heels in love after a week or two and blindly deciding to take huge life steps before really thinking about them, or just spending every waking minute with a significant other. I've always dismissed this kind of behaviour as silly, self-conscious and immature. I had a personal vow to never do this myself and was really convinced that I never would. I took solace in the fact that I was a rational person with two feet firmly on the ground.

So, when I decided I thought it would be a great idea to move into my first apartment a little over a year ago, with my boyfriend at the time, whom I'd only been dating approx. 9 months, it's hard to say where this stoic nerve went. What a stupid decision. Neither of us had ever lived in our own place, plus we hadn't been together long enough to really know each other deep down. You could see someone every single day for two years and think you know them, but still not be fully prepared to live with them. I see now that I was desperate for my own place and I used our relationship as a way to get that; a way to afford this lifestyle change. And, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I probably got caught up a little bit in the romance of it all; in being with someone who loved me enough to want to start building a life with me. I didn't see these things at the time, of course, but it became crystal clear after a few months.

Needless to say, we did not live together well.

After I came to the realization that this was an incredibly stupid and rushed decision, I wanted to kick myself. Where had that independent, rational, grounded girl gone?! Out of anyone I knew, I was the last person I would ever think would make such a dumb decision. I felt ashamed and silly. I had become those girls that I scoffed at with disdain; the ones that took chances on love. Psssh, please!

Now that I've had some perspective, I don't regret the decision. The embarrassment still stings a bit, but I wouldn't take it back if I could because I learned so much. I learned what a big step moving in with someone is, I learned I like living alone, I learned that I am tough, that I can make tough decisions and follow through with them even though they suck (along these lines, I also learned that the right decision doesn't necessarily feel good, and the wrong decision sometimes does). In other words, I grew up.

Most of all I'm glad that I took the chance. Always being a grounded, rational person frankly was kind of boring. Sure, it's safe and it may keep you from getting into some dramatically stressful situations, but it will also ensure that you never have any great stories to tell, and what's the fun in that?! How are you going to learn who you are and what you will/won't tolerate if you don't take the leap? You would think this kind of experience would make me gun-shy, and it has in a way - I will certainly think longer and harder before moving in with someone again - but it has also made me more open to chance. Life never turns out how you plan it anyway (NEVER!) so sometimes a chance is all you have. Besides, me and my ex are friends now, so it all turned out for the best.

I still judge my friends when they talk about moving in with their boyfriends or getting married and having babies. I feel scared for them and worry to myself that they are rushing or that they don't really understand what they are getting themselves into. But, underneath that voice of cynicism and judgement there is now a more wise, calm and optimistic one; a voice that wholeheartedly and genuinely says: "good for them".