Boston Strong

Unless you have been living under a rock, you heard about the horrible bombings at the Boston Marathon last week and likely were following the manhunt for the two suspects.

In what may be a case of the worst timing ever, the boy and I had a vacation pre-scheduled in Boston for last week and we had the extra bad luck of booking a hotel in Watertown - scene of the suspect standoff and eventual capture. Our hotel was, in fact, less than 1/2 mile away from where the suspect was found in the backyard boat, so subsequently we were locked down for most of the day Friday and entertained by a constant symphony of sirens and helicopter noise, tv news vans and reporters outside. Since we only had barely two days in Boston anyway, this meant that over half of our vacation was lost and we came home in a bit of a haze, both from the insanity of the events we witnessed and were smack-dab in the middle of, and due to the fact that most of the previous 4 days were spent either driving or watching the news.

Yes, I am complaining - it sucked! But that's not the point of this post. The point is the experience oddly made me love Boston even more.

This was my third visit to the city. Before this, I could tell you that I loved Boston but could not necessarily pinpoint the exact reasons why. Sure, there is undeniably great history and architecture, parks and museums, restaurants and shopping. In a way, the city reminds me of a large-scale version of my hometown of Halifax - a city with the down-to-earthiness of a small town, a working class/sea-faring past and the character that comes along with that.

However, now I understand. It's the people that make this city great. They are warm and welcoming and will talk to you as if you're an old friend even if it's your first conversation. Many would take the clothes off their back and give them to you if you really needed them. They are there for each other and value hard work. At the same time, they have an edge - they are a down-home, potty-mouthed, hard-drinking lot who, basically, don't take shit (I mean this with love).

Both sides of this mixed character were highlighted during the hysteria of the bombings and the aftermath. The selflessness, support, and strength of the citizens warmed my heart - countless people organized donations and events to show solidarity to the victims and their loved ones, to say 'we are with you and you are in our prayers'. Then the tenacity and ruthlessness that was displayed during the hunt for the suspects left me in awe and made me want to pump my fist in the air and say, 'yeah! You go!'. They were not going to let these men get away with this and I loved that commitment. I loved the fact that they did not 'fuck around' but that they did so in a way that put the safety and well-being of everyone in the city first and foremost.

It's that mix - the hard and soft, the tough and loving - that makes the people of Boston great. Sure, our vacation was kind of ruined, but I never once felt concerned for my safety or that the situation was not under control. Did I hate being cooped up in our hotel room all day and having to miss the Red Sox game (which was scheduled for Friday but subsequently postponed)? Of course! But I appreciated the care and precautions taken. I felt comforted that the job would get done and done right.

There are so many things being written about these incidents - so many opinions and analyses floating around out there, and I don't want to add to that pile. Honestly, I kind of just want to move on from this, as I am sure we all do (although I should reiterate that 'move on' does not mean 'forget'). I just felt compelled, in my own small way, to thank the people of Boston for being, well, them. For being strong and loving and, in true Boston fashion, giving the finger to those that tried to ruin their lives.

Thank you for making great what little vacation we ended up having.

wise americans

Source

Have you heard of The Legacy Project?

 It was a study started in 2004 by Karl Pillemer, a professor of Human Ecology at Cornell University, and aimed to collect practical life advice from America's elders. Basically the research team posed the question “What are the most important lessons you have learned over the course of your life?” and received 1,500 responses. The compiled responses can be browsed on the website and have also been compiled in a book, "30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans".

The advice is split into categories, and the results are fascinating - mostly in their simplicity. The seniors who were interviewed didn't say that amassing a ton of wealth and owning lots of expensive designer clothes was the key to happiness. They said things like the following gems:

Surround yourself with people you love. It’s nice to have money and be able to live well, but loved ones are more important than possessions. (Malinda, 72)

Love life! Yes, just being alive to experience the joy, exultation, love of one’s wife/husband, the satisfaction of succeeding in a task set before you, the challenges you face and overcome, the social intercourse of friends and their imparting of knowledge you could never otherwise know. The wealth of memories. (Harry, 81)

Don’t give into every ache and pain and be thankful for every day that you have on this earth, and enjoy your family. You can’t change anything by thinking about it. Whatever is going to be is going to be, and your worrying and concerning yourself is not going to change it one little bit. (Frank, 88)

See a theme here? The same points come up throughout the results - enjoy life, slow down, appreciate the people who love you, do nice things for other people, don't waste your time on things and people you don't love, never give up, it's the time that counts, avoid regrets...

Most of the advice is related to things we know we should do but have trouble actually doing. Perhaps as we are going through life and making decisions, we should think about how we hope to be when we're a senior (if we aren't one already). When you are 80 years old and you look back on your life, what do you hope to be able to say about it, what do you hope to see? You want to look back and be proud of the life you lived right?

That's it, I have a new life philosophy - live your life so that when you're 80 you can look back and be proud...or something less awkward. You catch my drift?

Or you could always read this post by a palliative care nurse about the main regrets that people had on their deathbeds. Food for thought about what is really important in life in the end (hint: it's not that new Louis Vuitton purse).

Stay Crafty, My Friends

Found here

I have always been a creative person. When I was a kid, I spent an inordinate amount of time in my basement making things - drawing cartoons and fashion sketches, painting rocks, making crafts (don't worry, I did have friends). I was always one of the "artsy" girls in school - always first in line for any artistic extracurriculars like art clubs and fashion shows.

I do not have many regrets in life - I believe we do the best we can with the information we have at the time - but one major thing I am not happy about is the fact that I seem to have lost this part of myself. Well, not lost - I would still say I am creative (I am pursuing a freelance career in writing, so that's something) but just not in the same way.

I don't have the same passion and freedom of expression that I once had. I think a combination of increased life stress and responsibility (and therefore limited time) has doused that creative fire I once had. I have so little spare time sometimes that I often just want to use it to 'veg' and relax, not to sit and paint or make a craft. I hate this. I hate that I have become such a responsible adult that I have lost touch with my creative side.

Since I do feel a little bit of this creative fire still burns, I think I could find that passion again. I think I could find that drive to create again if I just dig hard enough, but sometimes I wonder - is it really possible to get back something that you have lost touch with (seemingly) so long ago? Is is really possible to go back to who you were, grab a little piece of it, and bring it into the present? And even if I can do this, would I be able to produce anything that is actually worthwhile, or am I too out of practice? Sometimes I wonder why I should even bother when it seems to be so much work, but if it is something I feel this disappointed about losing, isn't that a clue that it is something that I truly love?

This is something that I have been thinking a lot about lately, I suppose because the past few months have been particularly stressful ones in my life and I have been searching for relief and emotional therapy wherever I can find it. This, in addition to my issues with obtaining a permanent career forcing me to consider 'alternate' sources of income (hence the push for paying writing jobs) as well HOW exactly I want to bring in money...can I settle for a job that pays the bills, or do I have the confidence to go for a career that is built upon my passions?

I would love to join the ranks of these talented and creative gals with their Etsy shops and their cute, crafty projects. I feel like I could join them but I am not sure how, or if I have it in me. What would I even offer customers? What do I have a talent for that others would be attracted to enough to pay money for? Furthermore, where can I find the time to put the necessary effort into building such a career?

I suppose this post is just sort of a general musing about the state of my life at the moment and my fears and questions surrounding it, but I would love for those of you out there reading this who do own a creative business (full or part-time) to weigh-in! How do YOU do it? Do you think you can re-light a creative fire?

In conclusion, allow me to give kudos to those of you who DO run your own creative business, whether you make a living from it or not. You had a passion and you went for it and that deserves praise. There are so many, like me, who are either too scared or too lost to go for it (or who are not even sure they DO want it!) so you should be really proud of yourself.

Designers, artists, and generally crafty and creative mavens of the world - I salute you.

*Update: Check out this cool contest I just found out about today, related to this post -  'If You Could Start a Crafting Business Tomorrow What Would It Be?' 1 lucky grand-prize winner will be able to discuss their business idea with Ilasco in a 30-minute phone conversation! Plus she/he will receive a copy of Craft Inc. The 4 runners-up will also receive a copy of Craft Inc.

**Read the comments below the contest post to get some amazing business ideas!

Who Do You Think YOU Are?

Wow, I have been gone from the Blog for a bit - sorry blog buddies! I am still here, although just barely. Things have just been a bit crazy the past couple of weeks and (I am not going to lie) I have been feeling overwhelmed. Some things had to be put on the back-burner for a little bit - ah, such is life!

One thing I missed since I was away this past weekend was the Ancestry.ca free search weekend. Normally you have to buy a subscription to access their records, but for this past weekend only you could search around for free!

Found here

Researching my roots is something I have always wanted to do but can never seem to make a priority. And since I'm on a tight budget, buying a subscription to something like this is just not in the cards. I really wish I had been home so that I could take a quick look around - who knows, maybe I would have found something interesting about my family!

My roots are sort of muddled and I really don't know anything about them at all - my mother's mother is my only living grandparent (and I honestly don't get along with her very well), is from Newfoundland originally and has an English maiden name and married name (Clancey/Walton). My mom has no siblings, and I do not even share her name anyway. I have my dad's last name (Humes) but have no contact with my dad or anyone on his side of the family. The only person I would be able to contact (and would feel comfortable doing so) is my aunt in Ontario and she isn't even my dad's biological sister (she was adopted). My dad's dad died when he was a teenager, so I never met him and his mother died when I was a little kid.

See? Where to start?

My mom would know bits and pieces about my dad's side but not much of anything solid to go on. I have a lot of questions about where my name comes from (it's sort of a strange name that you don't hear often, but you do hear "Hume" - no "s" - so there must be some connection there). Some say it's obviously English, others say it's obviously Scottish or Irish. I really have no idea. I have always felt a bit of a disconnect from my origins; no real solid connection to a particular place or people.

Not that I am not a whole person without an awareness of my roots, but it is something that would be nice to know. I have a very small family and I love the little family I have very much, but sometimes I long to know if I have more connections to greater things; important people, places and things in history.

Perhaps one of these days I will get serious about researching my ancestry and find out more about where I come from, but for now I am happy knowing where I was yesterday and where I will be tomorrow (well, most of the time).

Have you ever researched your ancestry? What did you find out? Where are your roots?

FYI there are lots of great genealogy resources for Canadians here. Ever seen the show "Who Do You Think You Are?", where celebs look back through their ancestral records to uncover fascinating connections to world events? Very interesting - check it out! I had actually only seen the American version before now, but will make sure to check out the Canadian one too.

Midnight in Paris

I saw the most delightful movie Sunday night. It's called Midnight in Paris.

This background is my most favourite painting - EVER

I decided that, if I were to live in Paris, this is the Paris I would want to live in. In fact, I take that back: this is the WORLD I would want to live in. A world of sparkling parties and dresses, lively dancing and conversation, intellectual and creative stimulation everywhere you turn. A world of genuises that think on another level from mere mortals, a world of wine and champagne, of moonlight and amourosity (and I don't even care if that is a made-up word, because it's the perfect one to describe what I mean).

Life would be one big artist's gathering by candlelight, and I would love it.

As I walked home alone after the film (yes, I go to movies alone - you should try it!), I found myself seeing this Paris everywhere I turned - a couple walking by me speaking in french, the smell of lilacs and the fresh, crisp feeling and dusky haze of a summer evening, the historic homes sleepily winking at me as I strolled past - hinting at the myriad stories and dreams behind their doors - a chalkboard on a front porch with an excerpt from a poem about death.

I thought to myself how much I love my city in so many ways. Sure, there are good and bad points, but there would be good and bad points to living anywhere! Even Paris. You still have to commute to work, you still have to pay taxes and run errands to the bank, and you still have idiot politicians who seem to practice kama sutra more than they practice, you know, ACTUAL politics. I was reminded of the fact that there is poetry everywhere if you only open your eyes...

...just then I looked to the left and saw an SUV careening towards me and heard a screeching sound as it stopped just short of the crosswalk I was standing in. Stupid moron obviously missed the two giant boxes hanging above the road with pictures of a crossing stick figure, most likely because he swerved out from behind a car that was apparently taking too long to turn right and therefore holding up his progress to what, I have no doubt, was a very important engagement (you know, like a frat party or something).

Aaaaaand moment gone. Ah well, I thought to myself...I'm sure people almost run over pedestrians in Paris, too.

And even if they do, I still wanna go, like, yesterday *Sigh*

Time After Time

Today is a tough day for me. Sure, it's the last day of May and the first sunny day we have had in I don't even remember when. All good things. However, it is also an anniversary. And not the good kind.

I still remember the phone call like it was yesterday - May 31st, 2007: Me, calling home to my mom on a calling card from my dorm at Regent's College in London, England where I was staying on a month-long course in International PR with 15 or so other students from the US/Canada. I was set to get up at 4 in the morning to catch a bus and then a train to Paris on a solo 2-day tour (with a group bus component on Day 1) and wanted to call home to say "hi" one last time before taking off.

I knew something was wrong as soon as Dawn picked up (a co-worker of my mom's at the time). Why would Dawn be answering mum's phone? Mom came to the phone anyway though and I assumed, in that case, that I was worrying too soon (as I often do). However, the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach still sat there with a numbness. Like a toothache. I could tell she was upset about something only a few minutes into the phone call. She didn't want to tell me and begged me not to press her, but I had to know. How could I go to Paris knowing that something was wrong? I wouldn't be able to get it out of my mind.

And then she told me. And it was almost as if I knew it had happened before she told me. It was a thought that passed through my mind as a possibility, but quickly dismissed as overreaction (that couldn't possibly be what happened). So, it really did happen. The thing that I feared the most, but easily dismissed. It's a very strange moment and a shock to the system when the worst thing you could imagine turns out to actually be true.

Phil, my mother's boyfriend of 10 years (and basically more of a father to me than my own father) was gone. He had been out walking and collapsed. Not really an impossibility for someone with serious heart problems, but the last thing you would expect just to look at him - a tall, husky, strong man with huge arms and long strong legs. Like a huge tree - roots deep into the ground. How could such a strong, stable object fall down and crumple so easily?

I had no idea what to do. I didn't want to go to Paris anymore. I wanted to go home. I wanted to hug my mom and tell her everything was going to be ok and cry with her, but I couldn't. I couldn't even get in a cab and cross the ocean. I have never felt so helpless and alone. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, kick the walls, tear out my hair. I felt like my brain had separated into several pieces and were scattered around the room. Luckily, my roommate was gone for the weekend by that time so I was able to grieve into my pillow without someone who wouldn't understand looking over my shoulder, but I think even if the dorm were full of people I would have felt alone. In the end, I decided to go ahead with my plan and go to Paris. He would have wanted to me to (mum agreed), I had already paid the money, and there was no way for me to get home that weekend. Besides, escaping seemed like a great idea in that moment.

I have never been prouder in myself than I was in that moment. I am so proud that I had the strength to pull myself out of bed, walk to that bus stop (even though I got sick on the way, and was *thisclose* to turning around and going back), and board that train alone. To venture to a strange city where I knew no one and not even the language and follow through on a commitment I made to myself. I realized in that moment that I am a tough person. However, under the tough coating, I spent most of the weekend in a kind of fog, with a million thoughts and none flowing through my brain all at the same time, and feeling completely lonely in a city of millions. I felt like I had spent months tethered to a wonderful island and someone had come along and cut my moorings and I was floating in the middle of the ocean - alone, with vast expanses of water between me and the land, which I could not even see.

As anyone who has lost someone close to them knows, the pain does not stay so acute forever. Slowly, your body and mind recover and you start to smile and laugh again. You have whole days where you never think of the person and don't need to talk about it anymore.

But (at least in my case) the person is never completely gone. He is always with me even though he's no longer here. I see him as a small figure - a kind of spirit - that lingers somewhere near the back of my brain and my shoulder. I think of him often - Phil would have said this, Phil would have gotten a kick out of that, Phil would have been able to help me with that.....etc. Whenever I see fish cakes on a menu (whether I order them or not), I can hear him laughing and feel him winking, knowing that he promised to make them (his specialty) for me when I got home from England, although he never got that chance. I can eat dinner with Phil whenever I want just by ordering fish cakes.

Sometimes I think of all the things I didn't get a chance to say and I cry. Some days it seems like only yesterday that that horrible phone call happened, and sometimes it seems like 10 years ago. Sometimes it's tough to focus on the positive, but I try to do that every day. As tough and sudden as his passing was, it taught me incredible lessons and I count us lucky to have had his positive presence in our lives for as long as we did.

Most of all it taught me immense amounts about myself, and brought me closer to my mother than ever - enclosing us in an invisible bond, leaving a special knowing and shared experience linking us together forever. I know that I can get through whatever life throws at me now, because I made it through this. The worst thing. I'm a different person because of it - a little more worn, a little rougher around the edges - but I am still me. Just a stronger me. Stronger because I can be, but also because I know wherever I go that he is holding me up and pushing me.

Holding and pushing me with those huge, strong arms.

*I should mention that this post is not meant to garner sympathy or comments. I am not normally one to talk about my personal life in-depthly on this blog, or ever in my "real life" either but writing about it helps me feel better, helps the painful memories I have associated with this day less acute. I also feel I owe it to Phil to keep remembering him and what happened. I hope that others who have lost people close to them can read this and take solace, too*

There's a Red House Over Yonder...

I have been itching to buy a house lately. I have no idea why (one of those mysteries of life). Perhaps it just comes down to getting older and wiser and therefore wanting to prepare for the future more and becoming more aware of the importance of investing. Or perhaps part of it is due to being in a happy relationship that I could see going somewhere in the long-term. There is something about that that makes you think about your future more and what you want it to look like (don't worry I'm NOT rushing into anything with the boy and I hate to go all gushy on you, but I do get a good "vibe" and like to picture what our life will look like in a few years - it's only natural).

I love my apartment, I really do. And I love the lack of responsibility (within reason) of living in an apartment - I mean, how awesome is it that if something breaks, all I have to do is walk next door and get my landlord to come fix it?! Awesome. I just love the feeling of my place too; it feels cozy and I love the eclectic decor (that's my style). I love that it's bright and colourful and a jumble of memories and knick-knacks.

However, you're always hyper-aware that your place is not really "yours". You can't paint the walls a different colour or knock a wall down or add new countertops. You have people above and below you that "share" your space (I live in a flat in a house, so essentially we "share" the house, even though we live separately) and that you have to listen to doing...various things.

Plus, even though generally I love the size and character of the apartment, at times it feels crowded and old. I have very limited storage so sometimes I feel crowded in with "stuff", and dust seems to accumulate everywhere almost as soon as I vacuum. There's not much room for privacy, which means the cat's litter box is in rather close proximity whether you like it or not.

Alas, there is no way I will be in any financial position to buy a house anytime soon - certainly not even in the next year. Which sucks. It sucks to be in "limbo". However, if this past year or two has taught me anything it's to be patient. I know the day will come when I can buy a house, and that day will be all the sweeter because I will have waited for it and wished for it. Even though I have the urge to buy a home, the urge isn't strong enough to rush into the decision - I want to pay off the rest of my student debt first, finish paying for my computer, buy an RRSP, etc, and of course be sure about the person I am making that purchase with (if I do, in fact, do it with another person and not just myself).

In the meantime, I can placate my urge by looking at photos on Apartment Therapy (and yes, I see the irony in placating my house-buying urges by looking at an apartment-themed website - let me have my coping mechanisms!! besides it's not all apartment photos) that reflect the future space I hope to have - colourful, eclectic, lots of graphic prints, quirky, fun, retro, charming, comfy, warm and bright. Observe:



OK I admit it, I just want the dog, not the space from this photo
(though I would take the ottoman as well)



Giant K's FTW!!



This looks like it's straight out of "Hocus Pocus". Yes?!

This I Know For Sure

On this Friday, I felt I should share some of the important lessons I have learned in my few years on this earth (this isn't counting the years I was on my home planet, of course). Expect your mind to blown all over the entire room after reading these little nuggets of wisdom (don't say I didn't warn you).

A few things I know for sure (or that I'm at least pretty sure about):
* They don't make movies or music like they used to (at least not the ones that are mainstream)
* I honestly have no idea what I did before Internet (but I'm pretty sure I lived in a cave and rubbed sticks together to make fire)
* Cat love never fails to cheer me up (and I want to adopt another cat right now so bad I can taste it! Well, not taste the cat I mean. It's an expression. Can you imagine? Blech)
* Being short is actually kind of awesome - I never have to worry about leg or head room! WORD!
* Whoever invented dessert was an extremely smart person whom I love unconditionally (diddo for those that invented coffeemakers, rice cookers, shoe racks, coloured pencils, firefighter calendars, and BLOGGING!)
* Women make amazing bosses and mentors (I should know, I've only had female bosses, including my mom - though in reality she's not my boss, I just let her think she is)
* You get back what you put in (and that goes for EVERYTHING in life), no matter how bad things get there is ALWAYS someone who is worse off, and things always eventually work themselves out
* I am a very lucky person in many ways and should remember that more often
* I hate winter. And running. And running in winter.
* Politics is essentially playground mud-slinging transferred to adults in suits (with egos the size of Antarctica)
* I can watch the same Friends episodes about 5,467 times and still laugh out loud at the jokes
*I will never marry Kevin Spacey, except in my dreams (still holding out hope for Prince Harry though!!)
* Speaking of the Prince, Will and Kate are a very cute couple but if I hear one.more.effing.word. about their wedding I'm going to go over to England and bomb Westminster Abbey (I think this gem was the last straw for me)
* There are a lot of beautiful things happening in the world, we just have to look for them
* I think there is a significant hole in the ozone just from the Post-Its and pieces of note paper that I use on a daily basis
*I like washing dishes. There, I said it. And, yes, I know I'm weird but thanks for reminding me
* I can't wait to visit Ottawa and Montreal in May - wanderlust is killing me!

And last but not least...
*...I can't wait for the weekend!! I have my mom's car all weekend since she's out of town, which is awesome! Tonight I'll be having a relaxing supper with my sister than going out to a club with some friends and the boy, tomorrow brings laundry, hopefully a call with my bff in Alberta, hiking, dropping my sister at a dance, and having a movie night with the boy. Sunday probably brings more laundry and some other "housekeeping". Not super exciting, but not too shabby either!

What do YOU know for sure? What are you up to this WEEKEND? (it's ok if you have to gather the pieces of your blown brain and put them back in before you answer)

Life is Good. That is All.

Life is good right now. I don't mean to brag, and I also don't mean to sound like a hippy-dippy tree-hugger or something. I just feel good about my life right now.

Here are some of the reasons why:

* I've been a member of Weight Watchers for approx. 2.5 weeks now and I've lost a total of 4lbs. Now 4 lbs isn't a huge amount of weight, but it's great for only 2 weeks. Plus, the thing that I love the most about this program is how accountable it has made me. It has completely changed my mindset in terms of what I eat and when. Once I started recording my food, it's like someone propped my eyes open with toothpicks because I realized up until that point I was eating WAY more and of WAY worse stuff than I realized! It boggled my mind how much of a mindless eater I am, and how few nutrients I was actually getting on a daily basis. I have also realized that the IDEA of a healthy lifestyle is scarier than actually living a healthy lifestyle - I was so worried before I started that I'd be starving all the time, would never be able to eat out or treat myself, and that I would generally be miserable and want to naw my own arm off after 4 days. However it's the complete opposite! I CAN have that cookie or that piece of pizza; I CAN go out with friends. It's all about moderation and portions and planning. Anyway, I won't go on and on (because I could, trust me) but suffice to say I'm finding this new healthy eating plan really great for me and I'm already feeling better about how my body feels and looks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed to meet my 1st goal (5% of my weight, or approx. 9lbs) by the end of this month!

* I'm really enjoying my new job - I'm not sure if I have explained my recent career change on this blog, but basically I've been temping since September while I try to find a permanent position and it's been a tough slog. I won't go into all the details here, but suffice to say I worked an admin assistant position that I really didn't like (but unfortunately was my only/best choice at the time), that is I worked there until about mid-February when I was let go because they filled my position permanently. However, it worked out for the best because my temp agency (which is amazing by the way!!) found me another position at the University in a different department and doing work which is actually related to my degree and activities that I really enjoy. I'm still temping for now, but the job will be reposted in the next few months and I'll have the opportunity to apply. For now, I'm just trying my darndest to work really hard and prove myself because this is a really great opportunity I don't want to miss! So, I've been here now approx. 3 weeks and I can already see myself working here long-term. I'm currently assisting with planning a major Conference taking place the end of April so I'm quite busy with that (and slightly stressed!) but I'm learning SO much. I'm really excited to see where this opportunity takes me in the next few months...stay tuned!

* I have been spending more and more time with my lovely boy. I don't like to get too personal on here, but what I will say is that we have a lot of fun together and he is very sweet. We love to go on little adventures, like road trips and taking in events around town. He's great for my weight loss too because he really enjoys hiking as well so we've been going on hikes every weekend for at least 2 hours! Now that it's warming up here, we are able to stay out longer and go on more trails since they are not all snowed in. He has also turned me onto Geocaching, which I'm sort of becoming addicted to. If you have never heard of it or tried it, check out the website - it's a lot of fun and a great way to get outside for some fresh air and to explore the city/town/province/state where you live. We have found so many little hidden gems around Nova Scotia and Halifax that I had no idea existed (and I've lived here my whole life! Hello!). It's a HUGE pastime - I had no idea how many people were into it and that they are so serious about it. If you like to travel and explore and be outdoors, give it a try! If you do, add me as a friend (my username is shortfuuse).

* I've been generally trying to focus more on myself and my personal life lately - I gave up some extracurriculars in order to have more time, both to spend with myself and with others. I have been trying to spend more "me" time, either just relaxing, or doing activities I enjoy like painting and drawing (I've been trying to tap into my creative side more as it's been neglected a lot in recent years and I really miss it). I've also been making an effort to spend more time with my sister and keeping in touch with friends. This has been quite successful and I know it's made me feel more positive and fulfilled. This is still a work-in-progress, but my efforts so far have really made a difference.

So, that's what I've been up to. Like I said, life is good! I think it's important for all of us to re-evaluate our lives once in a while ; to ask ourselves what's working and what's not and try our best to weed out the things that aren't working and replace them with other things that would benefit more from our time and efforts. We are all guilty of spreading ourselves to thin at times, and over the wrong things. Having a million hobbies and obligations doesn't necessarily mean you're a more accomplished and happier person. Sometimes having less external "projects" on your plate is better because it allows you to focus on more important things (like relationships).

Thanks for sticking with me, y'all! I told you I'd be back didn't I? I never make a promise I can't keep! **

What is new in your life??


*Seriously, if you are trying to lose weight and can't find anything to work for you (and you haven't tried it already), TRY Weight Watchers! Know what the best part is? If you sign up for the Online option, you get a whole online profile that's similar to Facebook and a Blog! I'm blogging about my experience here (not sure if the link will work for non-members but give it a try and let me know). LOVE IT!!

**I have to say I've missed this little ol' blog of mine. I have been keeping up with others' posts and reading their blogs has made me nostalgic for mine. I miss having it as an outlet for my opinions and thoughts, and I miss connecting with other writers through my comments and discussions on places such as 20-Something-Bloggers. 
I guess I felt weird about coming back all of a sudden after being gone so long, but then I realized it's my blog and I can do what I want with it. Besides, that's one of the great things about blogging - you can do it as much or as little as you want! Since I've missed it and I've cleared out some of the mental clutter I discussed here, I decided it's a good time to get back into it. I'm just going to post when I feel like it and not put too much pressure on myself. This is kind of the way I'm living my whole life right now - I'm feeling very easygoing and positive - I've made a dent in some positive changes I've been meaning to tackle, and I'm feeling good about that and that good feeling is permeating throughout my life. I still have plans for this space that I may or may not tackle in the near future, but for now I'm just concerned with what makes me feel good, and no matter the format or agenda, it feels good to blog! So, that's what I'm gonna do!

I'm an "inextrovert"! What about you?

Man, I hate Mondays. I hate them even more after staying up until midnight to watch the Golden Globes. I always say I'm not going to stay up and watch the whole thing ("ok, next commerical break, I'm going to bed...") but I always end up doing it. I live-tweeted throughout the whole evening, which was actually fun! It was like sitting around chatting about the show in real time with your friends. Plus, making fun of celebrities is always a good time. I love how Ricky Gervais can make them squirm! Mwahaha.

Anyhoo, one thing I do like about Monday's is that it means the "Monday Morning Motivator" will be in my email inbox! I signed up for this weekly email a while back when I was researching career coaching. It's sort of an email "newsletter" sent out on Mondays by CareerJoy, a "Canadian Career Coaching Company", and it always contains a short headliner advice article that is usually an interesting read.

This week's email headliner, entitled "Yes, but I'm an introvert...", caught my eye. The article states:

"Are you an introvert or an extrovert? If you are in introvert you are in good company. Introverts make up around 25% of the population. Some famous introverts include, Barbara Walters, Warren Buffet & Pierre Trudeau. Carl Jung defined introverts as "inward turning" and extroverts as "outward turning." Introverts are more energized alone, extroverts are energized by people. The classic myth is introverts are not as good with people, as extroverts are. We are all social beings, introverts can in many ways be better with people, they tend to be better listeners, more creative and more analytical. There are many advantages to being "inward turning" I would argue that it has never been a better time to be an introvert. With the rise of social media tools like, blogging. Linkedin, twitter and Facebook, great platforms for the person who is more introverted by nature. Social media is an "introverts" paradise."

This article mainly caught my eye because I've always considered myself to be an introvert. But on the other hand, I would consider myself to be an extrovert in some situations. Generally, I'm a shy person who is really uncomfortable approaching strangers and it takes me a while to warm up to people. However, I also enjoy socializing, meeting new people and having conversations. Which side of me predominates really depends on the dynamics and circumstances of each individual situation. I cannot be around people all the time (I have to have alone time and some social situations give me major anxiety) but I also can't be alone all the time either (I start to go stir-crazy if I don't socialize for a while and I love just being "out" with people where things are happening).

I know this is a complete contradiction but I'm willing to bet that the majority of people are this way, i.e. a mixture of intro and extroversion.

The thing that really gets me is that being introverted in our society is sort of seen as a negative thing. As Alan says above, "The classic myth is introverts are not as good with people, as extroverts are", and as someone who has been  classified as "introverted" pretty much her entire life, this stereotype is frustrating. (this post sort of relates to this one, where I discuss my Myers-Briggs personality type).

In our society, introversion is generally associated with anti-socialness (or at least poor social skills), being uptight and conservative, risk-averse, and agoraphobic, whereas extroversion is associated with being fun, talkative, adventurous and charismatic. For some reason, if you have a quieter personality and are a listener or thinker rather than a talker, than you are seen as wierd, mysterious, or as an outsider. Someone who doesn't like people and isn't open to new ideas and experiences. Just try Googling "introvert" and check out the image results (lets just say many of them are depressing).

I have struggled with shyness and self-consciousness my entire life, and I still struggle with it. I've come a long way and I become more and more ok with it as I get older but this is probably something I will always have with me. I'm becoming more and more ok with the fact that it's part of who I am but I can't lie, it's frustrating not being one of those people who (seemingly) feels comfortable talking to anyone about anything.

Much of the frustration that comes from being a "quiet" person stems not so much from wanting to change this about myself but from the judgments that people make because of it. I've had so many people assume that I just don't like people, that I have nothing important to say, that I'm a "goody-goody" who is timid and weak and obviously those things are completely off-base. I have had people even assume that shyness is something that I chose, that I can just snap my fingers and magically be outgoing all the time. Trust me, if it were that easy I would have done it by now. I do agree that my shyness is something I can work on overcoming by putting myself outside my comfort zone (and I try to do that as much as possible), but it's a lot easier said than done.

I just think there is something to be said for being quiet at times. I think there is something to be said for holding some things back, for thinking and listening before talking, for observing rather than interacting, for taking time to recharge and reflect, for having fewer, closer friends rather than a humongous social circle. It doesn't mean I won't chew you out or stand up for myself/loved ones if I feel the need. And you might find this hard to believe, but I actually love going on adventures, having opinionated heated debates, and I've partied too hard many times (hey I've got "skydiving" on my "30 B4 30" list, ok?)

I'm sorry if this sounds sort of "rant-y" as I didn't intend it to be. I'm not trying to get on a soap-box here and rant about how no one understands me. I just wanted to say that (as a traditionally "introverted" person) I have had many people make assumptions about me based on that alone. I may be an introvert, but that's not all I am. And extroverts are much more than their general personalities, too. Human beings are extremely complex creatures and it's not as simple as sticking a label on someone's shoulder and calling it a day.
In any case, regardless of what categories you do or don't fit into, it's not about the cards you are dealt it's how you play them.

Just remember, in games of chance (like life) it is often the quiet, unassuming ones you have to watch out for! (mwahaha) *wink*

Royal Flush

I have been experiencing Monarchy Overload lately.

Between Kate & Will's engagement (another one bites the dust *le sigh*), seeing the King's Speech the other night (which you MUST go see if you haven't already, by the way), and watching a documentary on Princess Margaret last night I've quite had my fill of the royal family and it's various idiosyncracies.

However, it also got me thinking, not about how jealous I am of all their money, ponies and mansions (even though I am...Harry, call me!) but about how their entire existence revolves around OBLIGATION and DUTY. Sure they have lots of money and admirers and lead very glamourous lives, but they also have an awful lot of expectation resting on their shoulders.

There is one particularly heartbreaking scene in The King's Speech where Colin Firth (aka King George VI) sits down to review the program for his upcoming coronation. He opens the folder, begins to read...and bursts into tears, moaning about how he didn't want this. I felt so sad for him in that moment I just wanted to reach through the screen and give him a big hug and it occured to me how overwhelming it must be to be in a position of prestige and power. It's one thing to come from nothing and to build yourself up TO a position of prestige and power, but it's quite another to be born into it (and therefore expected to uphold it whether you like it or not, or risk being completely ostracised).

The idea of being a Princess is certainly an appealing one in a romantic sort of way, but there is no WAY I would want to live a life of constant scrutiny, nor have everything I do and say be dictated to me by other people. No wonder families such as the royals and Kennedy's are plagued by such dysfunction!

I did not know much about Princess Margaret before watching the documentary on her last night, so I was unaware that in the 1950's there was an enormous sensation concerning who she could marry. Most of the documentary focused on her relationship with Peter Townsend, with whom she had a slow-burning romance in her late teens/early 20's. You can imagine the issue even if you're not familiar with the story either - they wanted to marry, but according to royal law at the time they would have to either a) get permission from the Church of England (which did not allow divorce) or b) Margaret would have to renounce her title and life as a member of the royal family. *

There are many more details to the story, of course, but the important thing to know is that in the end, she chose to keep her title and NOT marry the man she loved. Never mind the fact that he was a decorated and well-respected war hero, as well as a friend of their family for many years, the fact that he was divorced and a commoner overwrote everything and it's almost as if the decision was final before it was even made.

The fact is, someone in that kind of position cannot make their own decisions, or at least not make decisions based purely on their personal desires. Their decisions are manipulated and managed by "handlers", their inner circle, and the wants/needs of the people of their country. How devastating it must have been to walk away from love to fulfill duty (the heartbreaking photo above provides some insight into the pain she must have experienced). In my mind it would take a very strong, brave person to make such a choice. Imagine having to consult a panel of people for every major decision in your life! (Dear God, shoot me.)

The point is (never mind my overarching opinions about the monarchy in general - that's for another post), I feel sorry for these people. It seems to me that there are more burdens on the shoulders of people like them than we "commoners" will ever know or understand. It's not all carriages and hunting trips and balls and banquets. Underneath the veneer of shimmer, smiles and crowns there must exist a lot of anxiety, loneliness, and resentment. These are, of course, emotions that we all deal with and have to hide at times, but the difference with "average" people like you and me is that we're not doing so while living underneath a glass dome.

If it's one thing I've learned from the royal family this week, it's that there is something to be said for being common.

(although having a pony would be pretty freakin cool)

*not sure if these rules still apply - anyone know?

Sweet City Woman

Well I've been quite the slacker on the blog the past few days! And it's safe to say that this NaBloPoMo thing can officially be thrown out the window! Ah well, I tried. The fact is, I just find it too tiring to blog every single day. I just have other priorities, and I don't have any inspiration some days so it makes more sense to blog because I want to and have something valuable to say, rather than just for the sake of blogging.

I was planning on continuing with my Fashion Friday posts, but my inner timer got all messed up since Thursday was a day off, but yet I had to work Friday. I also didn't wear any outfits that felt "photographable" to me, and honestly I find taking photos without a tripod a lot more time-consuming and annoying. So I just couldn't be bothered. I'm still going to do this series, but I may wait until I get a tripod (*fingers crossed for Xmas! I put a word in with the powers-that-be, aka my mom). In any case, I should probably come up with some kind of photo-taking schedule because I'm one of those people that, if I don't schedule things (ya know, pencil them in), I will avoid them or forget. I dunno, we'll see!

Life gets in the way sometimes I guess, doesn't it? Wily Bastard.

Anyhoo, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately (which isn't really abnormal for me) about many things, one of them being how much I love my neighbourhood. Mainly what I love is how central it is - since I've started working this temp job, I've been walking to work every morning and it's been great to get the extra exercise, fresh air, and invigorating start to the day. And it only takes about 25 minutes.

Not too shabby. I also work within a 10 minute walk to anything I could possibly need or want - banks, stores, coffee shops, etc. Needless to say I'm loving the convenience and the rush of being around so many sights and sounds.

In fact, I've always been this way - I've always had the need to have hustle and bustle around me (not too much mind you, but at least some). I've never really been content with quiet and slow. This notion is actually tied to one of my life mottos, for which my blog is named (which shows how tied up in my personality this need for motion and stimulation is).

The last guy I dated  (before we moved in together) lived with his parents in a rural area about 30 minutes outside the suburban city where I lived at the time (just across the harbour from where I live now). 30 minutes out doesn't seem like that far, but it sure as hell seemed like it when I drove out there and back; we're talking two lane highway, no lamps, no guardrails or fence in some places, and a speed limit of 100 km/hr in some spots. I used to completely dread driving out there then having to drive home in the dark - and I mean DARK ('blacker than the inside of a cow', as my mom would say). Not only that but there was also the constant chance of a deer or something larger bounding across the highway at any moment, hitting a patch of black ice, or some jackass hick speeding around you and knocking you off the road like a pinball.

I HATED driving home from out there in the dark and did it white-knuckled and tense-shouldered the entire way. Every. Single. Time. All I kept thinking to myself (aside from the worries of impending sudden death) was "I would never in a million years want to live that way the bleep out here!!" (except I didn't actually say "bleep").

I'm a city-girl and that's just the way it is. I can certainly see the advantages to living outside the city - more space, more green, quiet, safer, better schools, cheaper real estate, yadda yadda yadda. I can certainly understand why people move to such areas. I can certainly understand the value of quiet and clean air and just...space, sometimes. Everyone needs that once in a while. But there's a difference between doing it once in a while to recharge, and doing it every day and it's just not something I could handle every day. I can't even sit at home without the tv or music on (too quiet - gah!!).

I love the rhythm that living in the city brings. I love having so many options for things to do, places to go and events to attend. I love being able to call out for food whenever I don't feel like cooking and have it show up at my door within 30 minutes. I love being able to sit on a bench or in a coffee shop and watch the myriad of human beings pass by in all their quirky glory. I love stepping outside my door and seeing countless families, couples, dogs, cats, strollers and kids marching by, in a rush to get somewhere or just enjoying gawking like me.

Sure, the city can be dirty, crowded, inefficient, and unfriendly sometimes, but the pros far outweigh the cons for me. I love feeling like a part of a living, breathing, moving, changing organism like a city - like I'm one small cog in this giant machine that just keeps running no matter what and that maybe, in some small way, I help keep it running. I sort of look at the city in that way - as a great, big living thing that's always changing colour and sound like a quickly rotating record player, much like This one.

I love to take excursions to quieter, smaller places to recharge my batteries once in a while, but usually after a couple of nights I'm itching to get back to the place I truly belong. The place that never sleeps, and will never put me to sleep.

So are you a city person or a country person? Or a combo of both? What attracts you the most to your chosen place to live?

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

So, officially have two days down at the new (temp) job, and honestly it's not going the best so far. The gals in the office are nice, walking to work has been awesome, and I finally have at least a little bit of money coming in.

However, my brain is also ready to explode from all the information it has taken in, I'm feeling very stupid and frustrated because I can't answer any questions and I don't know where the bleep anything is.

Overall the best way to describe the way I'm feeling is this: lost.

I'm feeling lost right now.

I realize I just started the new job and this feeling will pass with time - lord knows I've been the "new" person enough times to know this - but that's cold comfort when you're in the "newbie" state of mind (not New York, New-Bie).

And to tell you the truth, I'm not just feeling lost in this job, I'm feeling lost in life. Period. I've been keeping my eye out on marketing/communications jobs listings in my area and making note of ones that sound interesting, since as of now I'm not planning on staying where I am forever. But nothing has really caught my eye. No jobs have jumped out at me from the screen and made me think, "wow! That sounds perfect for me!" or "that sounds really fun/rewarding/interesting, etc". There has been a few that have made me think, "that sounds...ok/pretty good/not bad, etc", but no "wow's".

Now, I'm a realist. I realize it's hard to find a "wow/perfect" job, and most people never find it. I know I should be content with having any job. I also realize I'm only 25 and have "lots" of time to figure this out (or at least that's what other people tell me all the time). But the fact is I'm not content with "just having a job" anymore. And sure, right now I'm only 25, but this is the time in my life when I should be cultivating a career and laying the groundwork for future success. And that's just not happening.

And the more I think about it, the more jobs I peruse, and the more people I talk to, the more I realize that the issue is not the jobs.

The issue is not that there are no good jobs out there right now for me, or no good jobs period. The issue is I HAVE NO SWEET CLUE WHAT JOB I REALLY WANT OR WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

This is nothing new; I've never claimed to have my life all figured out or to have a plan for what dreams to follow. I have NEVER really known what I want to do. But by the time I finished my Public Relations degree, I thought it was a field I could see myself in. I thought I could make a career out of it, and that maybe (just maybe) I had found my niche (or at least close enough to it that I could be satisfied). But now I'm not so sure. Now I'm faced with feeling lukewarm about any job in this field that I stumble upon, being close to 26 years old and not really having any concrete experience in the field, and therefore being denied access to opportunities that could potentially give me more experience...because I don't have enough experience.

Capiche?

Anyway, the point is I JUST DON'T KNOW. In a way, I'm glad I am doing temp work right now because I'm thinking this is maybe a good time for me to reexamine my professional life. Maybe it's time for a change. I've been focusing on a field because that's what my degree is in (basically) and it's not working; so perhaps it's a sign that it's not right for me.

The trouble is I have no clue what IS right for me. I know what I like - I like to write, I like blogging and connecting with people through social media, I like mobility and freedom, I like helping people and feeling valuable/dependable, I like challenges, I like to try new things, I like to be creative and to use new, unique methods for completing tasks. I also know what I don't like - I don't like monotony, I don't like people looking over my shoulder while I work, I don't like close-mindedness or rigidness, I don't like manipulation or secrecy, and I don't like bureaucracy or hierarchy.

It's pretty much impossible to find a job that allows all of the above. And even if it were possible, I would have no idea what the actual job would look like, what it would be called or where it would be. The more I think about it, the more I think I should and could go into business for myself. I'm very attracted to the freedom of this option, being my own boss and being able to control what work I do and when, and being able to have a more personal connection to my clients or whomever I "serve".

However, working for yourself also means saying "bye bye" to financial stability and probably having a lot of doors slammed in your face before any are opened widely. The fear of failure is terrifying. Besides, aside from the fears, if you are going to start a business or start a new career period, you have to know WHAT kind of business or new career you want to start. Knowing what you like and don't like, and what your strengths and weaknesses are isn't enough. You have to know what shape and title should be attached to your personal set of strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. You have to know how to combine your desires and your qualities into a particular vocation. And (I hate to sound like a broken record, but) I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I don't mean to complain or whine about how hard my life is and WAH WAH WAH. I have a very good life and for the most part I am happy that I have ANY job. But I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing. That there are opportunities out there for me if I only knew where to look and what to look for. When it comes right down to it, I don't just want a JOB. I want a CAREER. I want a PASSIONATE PROFESSIONAL LIFE. I know it's silly and completely counterintuitive to the inate unfairness of life, but I just want to feel like I'm doing something important with my time and that I'm making enough money to be comfortable, but that I'm doing it for some valuable reason.

I'm basically just venting here; sending my worries and thoughts into the "void", but I would also love some feedback. Any advice, thoughts, suggestions you might have about how to get out of this funk, things I can try to get a better idea of what jobs I might be good at or what skills I can cultivate further and eventually develop into a career...anything really! Please share. I need direction. If nothing else, it's helpful to hear I'm not alone and hopeless.

THIS is why I have a sore throat. And in case you didn't know, there are no paid sick days with temp work.

Canada Is Cooler Than You

Just a quick note that I'm guest-posting today over at My Quarterlife Crisis. When Allison asked if I wanted to contribute to her series "Canada is Cooler Than You", I jumped at the opportunity. First because I love her blog, and second because I love Canada and love talking about why I love it! I'm writing from the perspective of the East Coast and I hope you'll read it and enjoy - Canadians and nons (nobody's perfect) alike!

*On another, completely unrelated note, tomorrow is Monday and that sucks!

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop #4: Single White Female

It's been a while since I've participated in Mama Kat's writing challenge, but I really liked her prompts for this week.

The prompt that most spoke to me was:
2.) A list of things you no longer have in common with your married/child bearing friends…and why you love them anyways.

Oooooh boy, I could write a novel about this (but I won't). It's very interesting - there was a shift about a year or two ago and all of a sudden everyone I know was either living with a significant other, engaged or pregnant. As someone who was not even contemplating any of these things, this "shift" was completely baffling to me.

I mean I was (and still am) very happy for these friends, of course, and excited for them to be entering a new stage in life. But on the other hand, it made me think to myself: "We're only 23/24?! We're not adults yet!! When did this happen?!". Now I'm very mature for my age and always have been, so being afraid of "growing up" shouldn't really be an issue for me (I grew up a long time ago in actuality), but for some reason things like moving in, getting married and having kids were very "adult" things in my mind and so it was hard to reconcile that my friends, who were younger than me and still (like me) figuring out who they were, were all of a sudden being "adults".

When this shift happened, I felt like there was something wrong with me, like if everyone else is doing these things than I should be too and WHY aren't I?! It can be very lonely when everyone you are close to has a companion to go take trips with and a date for Christmas parties. I'm one of the only ones in my core group of friends who is single and also lives alone, so there's no way avoiding at least occasionally feeling like a 3rd or 5th wheel. That's not fun.

But for the most part, I love my single life. I love having complete freedom and independence, and to be able to go where I want, when I want and not have to answer to or consult anyone. I could take off for another country tomorrow if I wanted to and I wouldn't have to worry about cutting attached strings, and that's a wonderful thing.
 
However, it's very frustrating not being able to relate to my friends like I used to. Not only are most of them attached, but they all want to get married and start having kids before 30 (if they haven't done this already); they want to settle down and buy a house in the suburbs and have a regular 9-5 existence. They want to stay in and have games nights instead of going out dancing or to concerts. Sure, they can remember what it's like to deal with "single issues", but they have enough distance from them that they don't really understand those issues. It's hard to talk to someone about being single when they can't really relate to what that means.
 
This is fine, by the way - everyone's personality and life goals are different and there is nothing wrong with that - it's just tough to talk to them about the future when our visions of it are completely different (and talking about the future is nice to do with friends). I'm not saying I never want to get married or have kids, but I'm undecided; I want to be 100% sure about those things before doing them and I'm just not there yet, and I don't see myself being sure by the time I'm 30. Who knows, perhaps I'll change my mind in a few years, but overall I feel that I just have different priorities for my life - I want to establish a fun, rewarding career that gives me freedom and mobility, I want to travel, I want to live in other places, etc, etc. There are things I want to do and see and the fact is it's much harder to accomplish this once you are saddled with kids and a mortgage so I'm in no rush to procure either of these.
 
I feel that some people are meant to contribute to the world by building families, and others are not, and I just don't think I'm a part of the former group. I'm just not sure I'm meant to settle down in the traditional sense.
 
In any case, even though my friends have different lifestyles and goals than I do, they are still really sweet, fun, intelligent people and I plan on having many more good times with them. Life changes; people change. That's the only guarantee in life (aside from death and taxes), and that's ok. You keep the good friends you have, go out and make new friends that fit your current lifestyle and outlook, and you move on. We sure would be a boring species if we never evolved our characters and way of life! Who knows who (or what) I will become by the time I reach my 30's (and when it comes right down to it, as long as I'm not working at McDonald's or have giant fake boobs, I'll be pretty happy).

What about you? Are you single or married? Do you have kids? Do you want to do these things? Do your friends have similar lifestyles to you or no? Have you noticed changes in how you relate to one another over time?

Who Are You? (I Really Wanna Know)

I applied for a job yesterday that recommended I list my "Myers Briggs Type" in my application, since it is a position that requires writing/editing/research skills. I was intrigued, both because I had never been asked to submit such a thing for a job application, and also because I have always wondered what my type is and this would be a good excuse to find out!

Here is my result: I am INFJ - Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging

I am sometimes skeptical of these "personality tests"; you have to wonder how accurate they really are and more to that what the point is. Googling my Type yielded various definitions, with different titles (including Counselor, Protector, etc) so it's hard to say what the exact definition of my Type is. However, generally I found the main traits listed for my Type match my actual personality quite accurately. I was pleasantly surprised.

Here are some of the traits that I felt were most accurate (taken from this profile which puts me in the category "The Protectors"):

* take things in primarily via intuition; know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand; put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions
* protective of their inner selves; deep, complex, quite private and typically difficult to understand; hold back part of themselves, can be secretive.
* perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential; rarely at complete peace with themselves; believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments; have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families
* place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world; constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives; not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities (that's not true - I'm good at spending money! I'm also good at eating, which is a very practical daily necessity!)
* are usually right, and they usually know it (hah! Well, not going to argue with that!)
* gentle, caring, artistic, creative; genuinely warm; good listener
* hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring; concerned for people's feelings, try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone; very sensitive to conflict, which may drive them into a state of agitation or charged anger; tend to internalize conflict and experience health problems as a result; don't believe in compromising their ideals; take commitments seriously; seek long-term relationships but can easily move on after a relationship is ended.
* usually works in areas where they can be creative and independent; natural affinity for art, not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks.

Obviously, it can be hard to be objective when it comes to your own personality, but for the most part I feel I'm a very self-aware person who is accepting of both her strengths and weaknesses and I would say all of the above is BANG ON.

I find this so interesting! I also think it's interesting that these types of tests are not used more often. WHY have I never been asked to submit this information in a job application before? If you think about it, these standardized tests can be a more accurate portrait of a person and their strengths/weaknesses than a cover letter and resume because they are more objective.

Obviously, these tests are not completely unbiased because there is no guarantee the "testee" (tee hee) is answering the questions honestly, but at the same time, the questions are in such a format that it would be hard for the applicant to manipulate their answers in order to come out with a specific result, i.e. the type that the employer is most looking for. For one, the test is made up of "yes" and "no" questions that give no indication of what category your answer will place you in (unlike other tests, such as multiple choice, which I would say are easier to predict), and secondly there is no way of  knowing what Type the employer is even looking for, if they are in fact looking for a particular one.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that all employers should be requiring applicants to complete the Myers Briggs test. All I'm saying is the test could be an easy and interesting way to find out more about a person's character and to remove some of the bias that exists in the hiring process (on both sides).

Human beings are obviously much more complex than a 72-question test can reveal - a lot of how we act depends on the circumstances and mood of individual situations. But I also feel that sometimes 'who we are' is staring us right in the face but we don't see it until it's revealed in an honestly answered questionnaire.

Fun factoid: Only about 1% of the population are the INFJ type! How cool is that?! So, either I'm really special or really "special", if you know what I mean.

Have you ever taken the Myers Briggs test? What is your Type? Is it accurate? How would you feel about including your Type in a job application?

If you wish to take the test, you can do so here - give it a try; you might learn something about yourself!

Get On Your Boots

I have something like 50 pairs of shoes. Mind you, I've never actually been dorky enough to sit there and count every one, but that would be my estimate. When I moved into my apartment, a friend was helping me unpack and started on my shoes. Once she saw how many pairs I actually had she let out various exclamations of surprise and shock, and in her gobsmacked state proceeded to count them. At that time, the count was 40. That was over a year and a half ago and I've definitely bought 10 pairs or so since then.

I know. Shopping is a sickness for which there is no cure.

The thing is (probably like most other people) I don't even wear like half of those pairs on a regular basis. Especially in the summer - I LOVE sandals and hate socks (I basically just wear them because I have to) so when the temperature rises and the sun comes out, I tend to live in the same 4 or 5 pairs of sandals. I also have odd-shaped feet that don't agree with most dressier styles of shoes (my feet are basically shaped like triangles - slim at the heel and wide at the toe. Like a duck) so it's just not realistic, or in any way comfortable, to wear those pairs on a daily basis.

Besides I take public transit and walk everywhere so I'm sorry but I need to be comfy! I have certain pairs of heels that I've worn around enough to know that they are comfortable (it's not as if I wear flip-flops or flats ALL the time) and I will wear those to work, but mostly I wear flat or mostly flat shoes. Most people find this wierd because I'm practically a midget (I top out at 5 ft nothing, on the dot) so technically of all people I "should" be wearing heels (according to the ever-elusive "they").

The thing is I actually (get ready for it) don't really mind being short. I like blending in. Plus, people tend to take pity on you and help you reach things, which can be rather handy while grocery shopping (which makes me think: WHY exactly do stores display some of their merch so freakin high up anyway?! Seriously, is it really necessary to have shirts hanging just under the ceiling so that they require a forklift to get down? I mean, really).

Anyway, getting off-topic here. See, I got to thinking about shoes (deep, I know) after reading a post on one of my favourite blogs yesterday contemplating why women love their shoes so much. I thought it was an interesting question-why the heck DO we love our shoes so much?! I mean, they're just SHOES. As "Mel" says in the post, "their purpose is to protect us from stepping on gross stuff and messing up our feet", not to adorn or make a statement. Shoes have simply morphed into more than protection over time.

I suppose everyone likes their shoes for different reasons and, hey, I'm sure there are some women out there who don't give two shits for shoes and have like 2 pairs.  But I think we've clearly established that I don't fit into that category; and I've thought about why this is and I think hit the nail on the head as to why. It's not because I want attention, or I want to be taller. Sure, I just LIKE fashion and shoes are a part of that, and I just like putting outfits together so part of my love for shoes comes from that.

However, to go even deeper, I see shoes as a vehicle for me to get where I want/need to go. Shoes get me places. They allow me to walk, jump and dance and they carry me along as I do those things. Can you really say that about your clothes? Not really. Clothes can transport you in an emotional sense, but they can't literally transport you somewhere like shoes can.

Think about how important shoes are in travelling - what you put on your feet can make or break your trip. And they not only travel WITH you, but in a way they do the travelling FOR you. Once you travel a few hundred miles in a pair, they become not only associated with particular outfits and weather, but also with the places you have travelled while wearing them. They become memory-keepers for your journeys and your journeys are literally imprinted on the shoes in dirt stains and scratches from the roads you have walked.

Just look at the photo above - seeing their worn, dirty state doesn't your imagination run wild with the adventurious scenarios the wearer must have gone through for the shoes to look like they do?

I know you're probably thinking, "Really, Kim? The Philosophy of Shoes? Little dry on the blog ideas today were ya?" *cue eye roll* And I know it's kinda silly to wax poetic about an accessory, but I don't care. That's the great thing about fashion - everyone has their own interpretation and derives pleasure from it for different reasons. Whether it's silly or not, no one can deny that shoes have become much more than practical protectors; we all have emotional connections to what we wear for one reason or another and that's human.

Shoes take me places; I'm constantly going places; therefore shoes are important to me. And considering the number of pairs I have, it's clear I've been around!

Dream On

As you may or may not know, I'm currently looking for a job. Well, I have a job, but since I was filling in for someone while they were on mat leave and they are now back, it's sort of imperative that I get my butt out the door at least sometime soon. However, it's easier said than done. As you also may or may not know, I've been looking for a job for about 4 months now. This sucks. Especially for someone such as me who is not good at waiting.

Luckily my current boss is like, THE BEST BOSS EVER, so she's being very accommodating while I look for work. I'm basically allowed to stay until I find something else, which at the rate I'm going could be at least another month (ugh). So, thank goodness I'm not in the position I was last year in that I'm actually able to pay my rent (huzzah!). However it is taking longer than I would prefer.

So, as you might imagine, I kind of have jobs on the brain right now. Pretty anything job-related is on my mind. It's there right now, and probably will be another dozen or so times before I head home. My mind wandered the other day as it often does, and I started to think about "dream" jobs. Honestly I think "dream jobs" are not really realistic for most of us, and are frankly overrated. Ultimately I don't care where I work or what job I do as long as I enjoy it, have enough responsibility that I feel useful and productive, have freedom but also opportunities to collaborate with others, and have mobility. Obviously it's nice to make good money, too, though "good" in my case translates to being able to pay my bills in full and still have money left over to put some in savings, enjoy a trip here and there and being able to buy myself something if I really want it.

Still, it's fun to think about - what jobs would I love to do, if money and practicality were no object? With these factors eliminated, I would be doing a job purely out of a passion for it, and for the adventure and fun it brought me. Here's a few jobs that I think would be just awesome (in no particular order except in which they tumble from my brain, and thoughts rarely tumble from my brain in order so there you go):

1. Host of a travel tv show - ok, I'm guessing this would be at the top of the list for many people. And why wouldn't it?! How amazing would it be to stay in hotels, eat amazing food, get spa treatments, lounge by some of the best pools and beaches, and drink some of the best wine ALL FREAKING DAY! And all with VIP treatment...need I go on? (personally, I had me at "food"). Another job that would be very cool (and would fit in this category as well) would be a "hotel reviewer" - I'm pretty sure sites like Hotels.com and the like employ people to go stay in hotels around the world and then report back. I'd be quite happy to do this.

2. Pet-sitter - this might not be one that many others would choose, but I think it would be great. I love animals so getting to walk them and play and cuddle with them all day would be so much fun. I would even love to be a combination house-pet sitter professionally - I love houses, don't mind minor cleaning (and I'm good at it), plus there's the whole adventure and escapage of staying in someone else's home for a while and not having to worry about your own. Sure, it could be fairly thankless, taxing work at times (plus you could very easily be taken advantage of or be put in a hairy situation with some more 'exotic' pets) but you could certainly set boundaries for your work so it would only have to be as strenuous as you want it to be. Professional dog-walker could also be placed in this category (picking up poop is not fun, but let's be honest, pretty dogs are date magnets).

3. Butler - ok, I know you probably think I'm crazy for picking this one, but hear me out! I actually read an article recently in the Globe and Mail about a Canadian Butler "academy" and how real-life butlers are not so much considered "servants" as confidante's, companions and nurturers. As the article mentioned, at "butler school" nowadays you learn about "garment care and laundry, cigars and coffee, wine and mixology, event planning and first aid, even household mechanicals (that's fixing appliances) and private-aircraft management." Call me crazy but these are all skills I think would be interesting and handy to learn (minus the cigar thing)! I would feel a very smug about being able to install an airplane engine (can you install an engine? Is that the right word?) and put on a dinner party for 100 people, all in a day's work. Also, I'd feel ten times more intelligent and cultured than everyone else - I could speak in a hoity-toity English accent and say things like "quite" and people would think I'm quite charming. Plus, everyone knows butlers are privy to all of their employers nasty secrets and exploits, and who wouldn't want to (literally) be a fly on the wall in the home of rich people?

4. Taste-tester - I read a book recently that mentions a chocolate institute in the Caribbean that actually studies chocolate flavours, and they employ people to taste CHOCOLATE! Umm, so where do I sign up?! I'm sure they use similar testers at pretty much all food companies to make sure they are turning out a quality product. I love food and eating, so this would be the perfect job for me. Sure, I'd probably end up weighing about 300lbs, but I'd be happy. Call me, Cadbury!

I've always thought on some level that it would also be pretty cool to be a professional blogger or writer - to get up every day and not go into an office, but merely spend 10 minutes thinking up some mindless drivel and somehow forming it into a readable post (much like I do now), then go out the rest of the day and walk, eat, sit in Starbucks reading magazines, suntan, and shop. But I don't think either of us want that - I'd be forced to come up with constantly witty and engaging material, and you would be expected to...well, read it. What a nightmare.

If you had complete freedom of choice and money was no object, what job would YOU like to do?