Motivation Mondays #2: One week down, one million to go

So, week 1 of the weight loss project is officially done. At first, it went really well and I felt really good about it, but by the end of the week, instead of 5 or 6 days it had felt like 50.

I actually did quite well Monday to Thursday - I only went over my daily points slightly here and there and ate very healthily at work. I brought veggie soup (zero points!) each day for lunch, and fruit/veggies, low-fat items for snacks. I had good dinners too - mostly rice and chicken, and sushi one night (which actually is not bad - only 4 pts for 12 small pieces!) and didn't have any sweets or bread.

Then on Friday, we had a staff meeting over lunch and they ordered Quizno's subs and sweets. This is a much healthier lunch than, say, Swiss Chalet or pizza, especially since the subs were quite small (about a quarter of a sub). However, I ended up having 5 of them plus several cookie pieces and squares (probably about 6 altogether). Ugh I was so mad at myself! Sweets are the worst for me - that's the hardest thing to resist when it's put right in front of me. I brought my usual soup and such that day too, and could have heated it up and eaten that instead. I realize you have to allow yourself a treat once in a while, but I went overboard. Plus, I really wanted to diet 100% for the first two weeks to get a good momentum going for weight loss right out of the gate.

Then that night I got together with friends and ate pizza. We DID go for for an hour long walk in the park with my friend's dog, so I got a good workout there, but the next day (Saturday) is what really did me in. I stayed overnight at my friend's, so unfortunately did not have many breakfast choices - I ended up having waffles with syrup and butter (and yogurt) and then we went to a morning movie and I ended up getting popcorn! Movie theatre popcorn with butter and seasoning! Gah! That's like one of the worst things you can eat. I really enjoyed it but I didn't set myself a good precedence for the day and so didn't do very well with eating that afternoon/evening either. Went to another movie late that night with mom and had a frozen yogurt, which I suppose isn't so bad, but still not good. AND I didn't do any exercising.

Sunday, I bounced back a little - had cereal and fruit for breakfast and a stirfry for supper, but I also had 8 crackers with peanut butter and two WW treats (one chocolate brownie and one lemon cake - total of 3 points) but I did do a boot camp workout dvd for 45 mins. Man, that was a workout - I was tired out by the end and some of my muscles hurt today. I was proud that I fit that into my day.

Considering the week I had (minus Friday and Saturday), I assumed I had probably lost at least ONE pound. Heck I would have been happy with only one pound, at least it would be something. But I got on the scale last night and realized I had lost only 0.6 OF A POUND! My first reaction, literally, was WTF?! I mean I didn't do amazing this week but I sure ate better and exercised more than I usually do and I lost HALF A POUND?! Really?!

*sigh*

I know, I know, I shouldn't let it get me down - at least I didn't GAIN weight, it's only the first week, blah blah blah...but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. I didn't lose sleep over it or anything - I'm not naive; I know that it's going to take a bit of time before I see major weight loss, but still there was a part of me that thought I had lost a couple of lbs and was hoping for that. I need to learn not to expect this obviously because my disappointment causes me to get down on myself and eat bad foods - like I did this morning with a bagel and cream cheese. I should have known this would be a problem for me - I tend to put high expectations on myself (not intentionally!). But all that aside, I still can't believe I didn't at least lost one pound. I might as well have lost nothing. And I have to put at least SOME high expectations on myself or I won't achieve anything! If I just say, "oh, it's ok, you don't have to work that hard or put that much thought into your diet" than I won't eat right or exercise at all!

I know I'm being a real downer, but I can't help but be disappointed. Ultimately, it's "whatever"; tomorrow's another day, this is another week and I'm the last person to let a setback get in my way. I'm going to get back on the horse and try again, try even harder. But for now, I'm mad at myself and disappointed and I'm going to allow myself (and ask that you please allow me, without judgment) to sit in this moment of self-pity for a while. In a wierd way, it might actually be motivating.

I think a problem for me is going to be social eating - eating out with friends or having lunch with a group. It's obviously hard for me to participate in these kinds of things in moderation. I don't believe I should just NOT participate in this kind of eating, but I need to work harder to prevent overindulgence - to have one or two subs instead of 5 and no sweets. To eat a salad first to fill me up and prevent me from eating too much pizza. Or to work in a longer, more instense workout that day to balance my overeating. I really like hanging out with friends to eat, or whatever, and want to focus on enjoying the company and not what I'm eating, but at the same time I have to make sure I don't reach for food and put it in my mouth mindlessly. That will have to be a long term goal of mine.

As for a short-term goal (i.e. just this week), I think I'm going to try and exercise more. I think the dieting is enough to maintain where I'm at (i.e. not put any EXTRA pounds on) and/or take off a bit, but I need to exercise a bit more to have more noticeable poundage come off. I did probably 4 workouts last week, but a couple of them were really only 20 mins or so and that's not really enough to make a difference. I won't go nuts or anything, but I'm going to try my best to work out for 40 + mins 4 times this week. I need to stop making excuses and kick myself in the butt harder! Hopefully the scale will tell a different story this time next week.

Starting weight: 173lbs
Current weight: 172.4 lbs
Weight lost: .6 lbs