Monday, April 5, 2010

The Way We Were

Little slow with the posts the past few days. I think once Thursday hit I went into "long weekend mode" and didn't feel like doing anything that stretched my brain too much. Plus the weekend was like SUMMER here in Nova Scotia, i.e. 20+ degrees! (That's celsius for you non-metric folks). To give you an idea of how awesome that is, the average temp for this time of year is normally 7 degrees! (Word)

So, anyway I tried to get outside as much as I could and not sit in front of the computer. I had a serious Vitamin D deficiency that needed to be remedied, stat!

Anyway, I was inspired to write today after reading Sandy B's post comparing her life one year ago to her life today. It got me thinking because my life one year ago was SO different than my life now it's not even funny. SO much has happened to me in that short period of time, some bad but mostly good, that it's hard to believe it was only a year ago.

Sandy asks:

This time last year…
What were you doing?
Where were you working?
Where were you living?
Who were you loving?
And how has your life changed since then?

This time last year I was spending most of my time applying for jobs and the rest of the time stressing about money and said job applications. At the beginning of March last year, I was let go from my first job out of University COMPLETELY out of nowhere. It was through no fault of my own (there was some restructuring at my organization and my position was only a contract and therefore - apparently - expendable), but it was still done unprofessionally. I had no idea it was coming and I wasn't even able to finish working the rest of the week (I was let go on a Tuesday at the end of the work day and had to clean out my desk on the spot).

I was heartbroken. I felt worthless that I could be dumped so unceremoniously, and angry that I wasn't respected enough to be given at least SOME notice. I had never been let go from a job in my life, and I have always prided myself on my ability to work hard, even if I didn't particularly like my job. I didn't like this one. But, this job was at a very prominent arts organization in my city that I was very proud to be associated with, so despite the fact that I wasn't enjoying myself, it hurt to essentially be "rejected" from a place I held in such high esteem.

Anyway, needless to say this was a turning point for me. I realized that nothing is permanent, that you always have to be prepared and that even though a job sounds great on paper it can be very different in reality. I also learned to budget! I was let go approx. one month after moving into my first apartment, and my boyfriend at the time lost his full time job just after I did. That period in my life brought new meaning to the expression "bad timing". I also realized that boredom DRIVES ME NUTS! I was unemployed for 2 months, and was practically climbing the walls with restlessness by the time I finally found work.

Aside from my dire financial situation, I was also not happy in my personal life. I was in a relationship that was already starting to crumble in spots and began to crumble even faster in the weeks and months following my being laid off. The stress of our emotional issues piled onto the stress of career (or lack thereof) created a huge pile of anxiety and worry that just kept growing and unfortunately our connection couldn't withstand the weight.

This time last year (March to May last year) was a really low point in my life. So, to say that my life has changed for the better is the understatement of the century!

I'm now living in my own place (the same place as a year ago, but a much more loved place that it's mine alone) - an apartment and a neighbourhood that I love and feel comfortable in, with a cat that I love dearly and has been the best roomie anyone could ask for. I have a job that I really enjoy where I work with people that I really respect and have lots of laughs with. I have made a few new friends and have become more involved in some activities that I feel passionately about. Generally, I feel really good about where I am right now in life and I'm happy.

Soon I'll be faced with entering the workforce to find a job all over again, but at least this time it will be on my own terms and I'm armed with a year of great experience and references that will be a huge help to me. In fact, I've already applied for a great job that I'm crossing my fingers for! I also have the summer sun and fun outings with friends to look forward to, as well as the possibility of a new romantic relationship that will (hopefully) go somewhere in the long term. I'm much closer to knowing what I want out of life and I've learned to manage my expectations and to be more patient (well, at least I'm trying to learn these things. It's a process!).

There are a lot of question marks in my life right now - I have no idea where I'll be working, who I'll be with, or where I'll be living (by JUNE let alone a year from now!), and that's really frustrating. But I'm happy. I'm confident that life will work itself out and answers will come if I let them. I feel like the things I've been striding toward are finally coming within reach. I may have question marks, but I also have many options and that's kind of exciting! Options are not something I felt I had a year ago.

So, this time next year perhaps I'll have a car, perhaps I'll have a boyfriend, perhaps I'll be living in a completely different city or even country! Who knows! I just hope that I'm still at least as happy as I am now, and that I'm nowhere near the place I was this time last year (*shudder*). But even if I am, I know I'll be able to get through it. I already did it once!

*I gotta say - I've realized I'm always quite serious and philosophical in my posts and I need to work on that - I'm going to try and post some more fun and frivolous things in the future. I mean, lordy, I'm not serious all the time in real life so why should I be on here? Not everything has to be an analytical essay, Kim! Yeesh. Anyway, something I'm going to work on FYI. Stay tuned :) *


Allison said...

I was laid off from my first and only "real" job just over 2 years ago and it was under similar circumstances. i saw the writing on the wall a bit before, but still didn't expect to be pulled into the back room and given my last cheque. I couldn't even collect my things I was so upset.

To add insult to injury, because I had finally started making some "real" money I had bought a macbook that week!

It's embarrassing - having to clean out your desk. I ended up having to go back the following week to do it. So I had to stay working at my part-time coffee shop job and that is where I am today.

When I think about my life a year ago, not much has changed - it's depressing. i still work where I work, I'm still single, still in the same sad living situation.

Ahhh! A change would do me good.

Sorry for this depressing comment - wow - this is why I don't blog too much about my life.

sandyb said...

Thanks for the shout out - whoot! - and so great to hear about how you're life has changed, and for the better at that. I think life is sort of a balance of looking back and ahead in equal measure.. you don't want to fall too far away from the present, where the good stuff is happening.

Kim Humes said...

Aw Allison I'm sorry to hear that - it sucks doesnt it? I don't get how a company can just kick someone out like that. Very inconsiderate. Don't worry about being in the same place as you were a year ago - things will look up eventually if you keep exploring your options. Even having a "project" like your blog is a good way to keep yourself motivated, plus you never know what connections you're going to make. I know from experience that these lulls don't last, so hang in there! :)

Allison said...

It's funny that you commented on how serious your posts are. I think they're more reflective because you're in a good place right now - so you're able to talk about them.

I keep my blog light for the most part - it just works better for me :P

Kim Humes said...

Thanks Allison! That is a good point; I'm def in a reflective place right now. And this blog is sort of a way to vent opinions and thoughts. But I do also want it to be a reflection of me and, as I mentioned, I'm not serious and reflective all the time! lol. I'd like to work on incorporating some goofier things here and there. That's the great thing about bloggin - you can tailor it to your personality and mood! :)

paige said...

It's great to hear that your life has changed for the better. When I was in my 20's and hit a rough patch I lived on my own for 4 years and it was a really great time in my life.

Good luck with everything!

paige said...

It's great to hear that your life has changed for the better. When I was in my 20's and hit a rough patch I lived on my own for 4 years and it was a really great time in my life.

Good luck with everything!

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