Today, on the Crazy Files...

Ah, fashion, how I love thee. But it must be said sometimes you don't seem to have your pretty little head screwed on very tight.

I watched a video recently recapping the debut of the Ungaro Spring/Summer 2010 line, which also happens to be the debut of Lindsay Lohan as Artistic Advisor. What a joke - a joke of a title for a joke of an appointment. What is the world coming to that a strung out celebrity whose career and fashion experience (aside from her own line of leggings that must have taken a huge leap of creativity to envision) stands at the creative helm of one of the oldest, most-respected fashion lines in the world? What, was Heidi Fleiss busy?! (oh wait, she is, on Celebrity Rehab 3...it's pretty bad when this chick is appearing on celluloid more than you are, Linds).

I gotta be honest though, even though my immediate reaction to the news of Lindsay's appointment was disgust and sarcasm, I was a tad curious to see the line once completed. Who knew, perhaps she would bring it - lord knows she must have enough designer clothing to draw inspiration (read: copy) from. Alas, I was sorely disappointed, as I expected I would be. Not only are the clothes...well...MEH (that's really the best word I could use to describe even though it's not really a word), in interviews Lindsay looks half-asleep, pale and hungry (and is it just me or do her lips look like they were sucked into a vacuum hose?!).

Someone needs to get that girl a Whopper (or 10). Not to mention she sounds like a whiney, cocky teenager when she talks (like, omg! She loves fashion and trying on things, and we just love fashion...fashion,fashion). I mean I think it would be a long shot to say that most in attendence expected a lot from this show and line, but at least put SOME effort in. This was your chance to show people you've got what it takes, you haven't gone completely cuckoo AND you had a real designer to help you, but your stuff still turned out looking like an elementary school craft project (if kids in elementary school were asked to create messy, sparkly stripper-wear).

Ok, so I get that the whole appointment of a creative head like an Artistic Advisor is mostly "symbolic" in nature and that this person is meant to attach their name to the brand not their talent per se, but you would think they could find a more respectable muse than someone whose only press coverage the past few years is drunken photos on the front of the Enquirer. I mean the old head designer left the company because he didn't want to work alongside her, for god's sake, and who could blame him. I would say a minimum requirement in a professional partner is that they at least be able to form coherent and full sentences.

Honestly though I feel sorry for Lindsay more than anything. It's almost painful to watch her stumble through life on spindly legs like a brand new baby deer, with seemingly no idea where she's going or why.

Though, judging by the reception this collection received, Lindsay's title will go from Artistic Advisor back to Party Girl in no time (hey, at least she's fully qualified to hold THAT position).

Until next time on the Crazy Files (don't worry it will definitely be back considering the wealth of crap out there like this to work with)...

Watch great coverage from FT on the collection here (I heart you Jeannie!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7op9jdAn-3E