Go Your Own Way

I am a firm believer that style rules do not really matter so much anymore.

Style today is so much about variety and mixture - mashing together various eras and shapes and wearing what makes you feel good and flatters you, as opposed to what is expected. Of course, there are still instances wherein you must dress to a certain "code" (e.g., offices in general, public events such as weddings, etc) but a lot of the codes have relaxed at least slightly. One could argue that this more "relaxed" outlook is taken too far by some people (I am looking at you, 22 year old men), but that's another blog post...

One area of style rules that has always annoyed me is the one that dictates what women of my size and shape - see: curvy and short - should and shouldn't wear. It seems like every blog or magazine I read sometimes either shows NO examples of flattering looks for us, or very limited examples. Either that or the looks that they do show are ones that A)  are completely inappropriate for someone older than 16, B) assume I weigh about 100 lbs and/or have no hips or butt, or C) are, frankly, boring and conservative.

Just because I am 5 feet tall does not mean I can't wear a long skirt. Just because I have a round lower half does not mean I can't wear leggings. Just because I am curvy on the bottom does not mean I can't wear a graphic print skirt. I CAN wear horizontal stripes! Oh, I should be wearing heels all the time so that I can be face-to-face with people of "normal" height, should I? I don't think so. Heels hurt my feet, and I walk. A lot. Therefore it is flats 6 days out of 7, and I will wear heels only if I know I won't be standing or walking much.

It's all in how you wear it. It's about keeping proportions even - if you wear something full on top, wear something slim on the bottom (and vice versa) - and highlighting your assets (for example, I like my shoulders and chest so I try to wear things that are slimmer and lower cut on the top - tastefully, of course).

Don't feel relegated to the petite or plus-size sections in stores. I, for one, can't wear petite pants because I have a fairly high waist and big hips so the shorter rise on petite pants often does not cut it. I may look like a grandma under my shirts, but I often wear pants with a higher rise because they are more comfortable and flattering. Who cares?! Nobody sees the top of my pants! Heck, I bought a maternity top at H&M (mind you, I didn't realize it was maternity until after I tried it on) and it's one of my favourite tops! You might even find better-fitting shirts in the men's section, and that's really ok. No one is going to arrest you if you try on, buy and wear a men's shirt. Trust me, no one will even notice.

Who says you can't shop in certain sections or wear certain trends? You should shop wherever you can find clothes that you like and that fit, and that's that.

It seems like a simple, obvious concept but societal rules are so ingrained into our minds that many of us limit ourselves without even thinking about it. Look, finding clothes that fit (for all of us) is really, freakin' tough. Don't make it more tough by relegating yourself to certain sections, looks, colours, cuts and prints.

For all my short/curvy ladies: Just to illustrate that I know what I am talking about (and lets be honest, we all love pretty pictures, right?), here are some ways to wear some supposed fashion "don'ts" and make them work for your shape and size>

MAXI SKIRT

Maxi Skirt Look for Mini Girls by shortfuuse featuring a slimmer belt

Victoria s Secret v neck tee
$17 - victoriassecret.com

Long skirt
$100 - topshop.com

Dolce vita sandals
$30 - target.com

Slimmer belt
20 GBP - warehouse.co.uk

This is a huge trend right now, and one that is (admittedly) intimidating for someone with short legs. But as you can see from the above set, it's all about changing up the proportions - first of all, choose a skirt in a light fabric and slim shape (thin pleats and underskirt), either monochromatic or a basic print to avoid adding bulk and roundness. Cinching the waist will keep your legs looking longer and shoes with some height keep the skirt from drowning you. Keeping the top slim and the overall look simple will streamline the look further. I have used a t-shirt here, but a slim short jacket could easily be thrown over it for a more formal occasion.

OVERSIZED TOP

Oversized Top Look for Undersized Girls by shortfuuse featuring topshop shoes

MIH JEANS smock top
155 GBP - net-a-porter.com

Theory stretch blazer
$536 - my-wardrobe.com

Dorothy Perkins cotton pants
30 GBP - dorothyperkins.com

Topshop shoes
$80 - topshop.com

Juma silk shawl
$175 - farfetch.com

I wear tops like this quite often actually. I try to keep the bottom slim when I wear a top like this to avoid looking sloppy, or if it is a longer top I will slim it down by belting or wear a slim cardigan/jacket over it (as I showed above). Leggings are a great choice (as long as they are a neutral colour and the top covers your bum, ladies!) as are slim black pants or jeans. Don't worry about a bright colour or busy print. Just make sure you keep the accessories minimal on top and don't wear a shoe that is too chunky (unless you enjoy looking like Ronald McDonald). I like that these kinds of tops can be very dressy, but are also comfortable (no Spanx needed here). I want this yellow jacket SOOOO bad btw

I realize it is sort of counteractive to state that there are "no fashion rules" and then present rules for wearing certain looks, but I like to think of these as TIPS more so than rules. The looks are also merely meant to illustrate my point that supposed "unflattering" shapes and trends can be turned on their heads and be worn by women who traditionally would be considered unable to wear them.

Bottom line is, wear what you want, regardless of your size and shape.

Though, it has to be said the one style rule I will ALWAYS promote is NEVER EVER wear pajamas in public. I mean, lets at least put a LITTLE TEENSY WEENSY bit of effort in, shall we? It won't kill you.

*Inspired by one of Mama Kat's prompts from this week*

Motivation Mondays #5: Two steps forward, one step back

Needless to say I'm not as excited to write this week's weight-loss update as I was last week. I didn't lose anymore weight this week, and frankly didn't do well at all in the eating/exercising department.

I was on the road for two days for work, and anyone who travels for work knows how freakin hard it is to eat right in those types of situations. Usually, there are not many meal options (usually fast food) and you're sitting for long periods of time.

In addition to the travelling, I also had a job interview on Tuesday afternoon, which was very nervewracking and had me in a tense ball of nerves for pretty much all of Monday and Tuesday. I think I did pretty well, but it was intimidating and there are a few questions I'm not sure I answered well. Who ever really knows with these things, though, ya know? You just do your best and hope to god your best was better than everyone else's (though chances are it wasn't). I also had last minute prep for my best friend's bridal shower, and for a hike on Saturday morning/afternoon. Busy was the word of the week, so dieting and exercising was not first and foremost on my mind. When I wasn't working on all the above activities, I was flagged out on the couch or crawling into bed zombie-like.

It was one of my co-workers' last days on Friday, so we all went out for a greasy Chinese food lunch plus had ice cream cake after (I couldn't resist it and ate a piece that was way too large). The group hike does give me some points, especially since the park ended up being full of tall ladder-like stairways that we climbed (one rather large one I went down then back UP, plus I went down two other good sized ones, not to mention a couple of rather steep hills in between). We hiked for about 1.5-2 hours so it was a good workout. However, the fish-and-chip lunch afterwards probably replaced all of the calories I had previously burned off. And I felt like I was going to have a heart attack after reaching the top of the larger stairway, and my legs have been extremely sore the whole weekend. Not good - clearly need to work on cardio!!

After we got back from the hike around 3pm, I came back to my moms and did prep for the shower for the rest of the day, so I was totally exhausted by the time I got home at around 9pm (I had gotten up at 6:30am to meet everyone for 9am). Then Sunday was the actual shower, which meant running around setting up and decorating all morning, running around taking photos, cleaning and setting food up during the event, and running around and cleaning afterwards. To say it was a busy weekend is a slight understatement.

This may sound like a lot of exercise, but it really wasn't enough to burn calories (esp since I had a couple of pieces of custard-filled cake in there plus some pasta casserole). I really didn't expect to get on the scale and see any difference today because I KNEW I didn't lose anything because I didn't feel it.

Though honestly I haven't really felt the weight loss yet at all, and looking at the photos from the hike on Saturday morning, I am still not happy with my shape. I still feel like I look like a blimp in photos, to be honest. So, I'm back to being frustrated. I'm not going to give up, but I just wish I would notice more of a difference, you know?

Fitting exercise into my schedule (enough to actually burn calories anyway) continues to be hard. I talked to a friend who is signing up for a twice-weekly class, and I'm thinking I need to do something similar. If I have a class to go to that I've paid money for, I think that will be more motivating than just leaving the "fitting in" of exercise to me in my "spare time" (obviously that has worked out swimmingly so far *rolls eyes*). I'll look and see what I can find. I'd like to do something fun and energetic like Zumba or kick-boxing or something, but as usual I'm worried about cost. I've been totally broke all week. I can't even get groceries until I get paid on Friday and have to settle for leftovers until then. How sad is that? (being in a wedding party is an expensive endeavour, I'm realizing).

I've pretty much stopped following Weight Watchers altogether, so maybe I should start recording my food again. Urgh, it's just such a nuisance though, and I hate to sound like a baby but I have so many other things on my mind this week I can't be bothered. Plus, I KNOW I can stick to eating right without the points system, it's just a matter of MAKING myself do it. Frankly, I let myself go a little bit this week because I was happy about reaching the 5lb mark; I got complacent and that's how you end up putting weight back on.

Anyway, this week I'm away again for work so I imagine more fast food will be in the picture, but I'm going to at least try to make an effort to order healthier food, i.e. sandwiches/salads instead of fried or sugary stuff, smaller portions, drink lots of water. I doubt I'll get much exercise in again. This weekend is a 3-day one, however, so it will be a good chance to get out for a long hike again or take a class or something. I actually took today off work because I wasn't feeling so hot when I got up, but after I rested I got a TON of stuff done around the apartment that I've put off for WEEKS, and that feels really good. So, I can't be too hard on myself.

Alas, this is the life of a woman struggling with weight loss - two steps forward, one step back. Hopefully this week will involve the former.

Motivation Mondays #4: The first 5lb mark!

I've reached what I would call the first official milestone of my weight loss - the first 5 lbs! It's a small milestone in the grand scheme of things (especially since I want to lose about 40lbs overall - 5 times what I've lost thus far) but it's an important one all the same. I'm starting my 4th week, which means I've been losing 1 lb a week fairly consistently - well, actually I only lost 0.5 of a lb the first week, so technically that means I've lost more than 4 lbs in only 2 weeks! I feel this is a healthy rate, but also fast enough that I'm staying motivated. I'm hoping since the ball is now rolling, weight will start to come off faster in coming weeks.

I didn't exercise as regularly as I would like last week but I didn't do TOO too bad. I went for about a 45-60 minute walk in the park with my friend on Tuesday after work and did an hour of yoga on Friday, plus a few small walks here and there. But I also went out for supper Tuesday night (pasta), Friday night (fried fish and sweet potato fries, eek), and Sunday (stuffed fish and veggies, but a large amount of pita bread plus some dessert, double eek). However, in between this eating out, I did quite well - I didn't eat a lot and didn't eat any junk food. It's a good thing because I probably would have gained otherwise! Damn you, Mother's Day and friend's birthday!!

Still struggling with fitting exercise into my schedule regularly (ugh). My plan to get off the bus at an earlier stop and walk the rest of the way to the office has been foiled by our stupid city workers who have had the walkway on the highway overpass (which I HAVE to walk over, no other way to go on foot) closed for the past week! So, I've had to take my usual route and that means no extra walking for me. Thanks alot, HRM. However, I do still have the option to get off at a later stop and walk from there, which is a different route, but the same difference in the end.

And this week is going to be even more tricky - I am going to the gym today at lunch (or else!) because it's too rainy/cold for a walk, but tomorrow I'm not going to be in because I have a job interview @ 1pm, then am driving to Yarmouth (about 4 hours) with a colleague for a work thing all day Wednesday, then another of these sessions back in Dartmouth all day Thursday. So, pretty much no exercise for me Wed or Thurs and a lot of sitting. However, I plan on taking my gym stuff to Yarmouth and heading to the hotel gym Tuesday night, so that will at least be something. I must try to get for a walk Friday after work to get another bit of exercise in, plus it's my co-worker's last day and we're going out for chinese food, plus having cake (triple eek!!). I guess I will try and make myelf order something small for lunch and forgoe cake, but we'll see how the rest of the week goes.

Good news about Saturday is that I'm going for a hike in Truro (about 1 hr from Halifax) with a group, so that will be great exercise! Not sure how long the hike will be but probably a couple of hours (stay away rain!!). So, this will certainly up the cardio quotient for the week! Fitting regular, sustained exercise into my schedule, however, continues to be my biggest challenge.

Another note - I've actually stopped recording my food every day. I found doing it for 2 weeks got me into the groove and I didn't really feel it was necessary anymore. I probably should be doing it, but I don't find writing it down makes me better at sticking with it at this point. I know what I'm NOT supposed to eat, it's just a matter of NOT eating it. For anyone starting out using the WW method though, I would recommend that you write your food down for at least the first couple of weeks as I did find it helpful to SEE what I was eating in a tangible way and to get me into the habit of eating right. Everyone's experience is different, I'm just sharing mine, but I just decided this wasn't something I really needed to do. Honestly, I found it to be more of a nuisance than anything after doing it for a couple of weeks. I still have the list of foods, so I can look up points values if I want to eat someting and I'm not sure if I should.

I'm sort of "gung-ho" about doing really well this week because I went for a fitting for my MOH dress on Saturday and the top is still a bit too tight. So frustrating. I really need to lose 5 lbs for it to feel comfortable (there is no more material to let out on the sides) so that's my next short-term goal - lose 5lbs by the wedding June 5th. I really hate to sound vain but it's not just about looking nice, it's about comfort. I don't want to feel sucked in all day and have to sit funny. I don't want to worry about my dress at all if I can help it; I want to umm, you know, ENJOY the wedding?! If I can do this, I will be really proud of myself because that means I'll be at the 10lb mark!

So, life keeps trucking along! Considering I have a job interview tomorrow, and my friend's bridal shower Sunday (plus planning the bachelorette for the end of the month, all with an extreme lack of funds) perhaps I will drop a couple of lbs thanks to stress! Nothing like your stomach eating itself to drop pounds hah.

Wish me luck for reaching the NEXT 5lb mark! How are your weight loss goals going? Have you reached a milestone this week?

Starting weight: 173lbs
Current weight: 167.4lbs
Weight lost to date: 5.6lbs

Motivation Mondays #3: Finally some progress

Well, starting Week 3 of the lifestyle change, and it feels like Week 10. I think I mentioned something like that last week, about this process seeming to take a while. It's like there's some kind of dieting time continuum that one enters and time multiplies or something equally psychedelic (is that how you spell psychedelic? Considering I'm pretty sure it's not a real word, I'm going to assume I can spell it however I want).

Anyway, the good news is I lost 2 lbs last week! I'm not really sure how that happened because the two days I was out of town for work (Wed and Thurs) I totally ate crap like fries and a chicken caesar wrap, potato chips, candy and a bagel with cream cheese. And I hardly excercised at all and I'm mad at myself for it. I walked briefly on the treadmill at the hotel gym on Wed night, but I was pretty tired so could only manage 10 minutes. I did do a few little 10-15 min walks here and there towards the end of the week - to a coffee shop for a date and home Fri night, then to my tailor's house Saturday morning for my dress fitting (see previous post), home, then from parking to the movie theatre Sat night (on a side note, Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was a wicked movie! Would definitely recommend you see it if you don't mind subtitles. They are planning to release a Hollywood version in 2012).

I'm very proud of Sunday - I went for a 40 minute (brisk) walk and did some housework, as well as walked to and from the grocery store later (trucking home a dang heavy bag of food, I might add! It's only about a block away, but still!). Not only that but I made a new batch of veggie soup (really easy - basically chicken broth and a bag of frozen veggies, slow cook for 2-3 hrs - and pretty much no calories, so I take it for lunch every day - sounds really boring but it tastes good and is easy), AND gave a Weight Watchers recipe a try - Mama Mia Veggie Pie. It makes 6 servings and each one is only 3 points, so it's a great dinner option (especially for someone like me who lives alone and doesn't have a big appetite - dinner's covered the whole week!).

Yes, it's true - not only did I cook TWO things AT ONCE, but they turned out edible! For those of you that don't know me, I should say that I hate cooking and I'm not very good at it, so this is a big deal for me. I also tried tofu for the first time, and must say it's not bad.

I have not had a piece of bread since I started this diet challenge! Alas, I have had a couple of bagels, but a couple won't hurt me. Just have to make sure it's a once per week thing (and I used to have one every morning for breakfast, so this is progress!).

There are a couple of hurtles I can already see coming this week - out for dinner tomorrow night at an Italian restaurant (read: pasta, pasta, pasta...and bread) but I think my mom and I are going to get a healthy appetizer (salad or something) and split an entree to keep the calorie count down. Also, Friday night I'm going to dinner and out dancing with my two best buds for one of their bdays, so I have visions of sweet potato fries and alcoholic drinks dancing in my head. Honestly I'm not going to fret too much over Friday night - I'll let myself indulge and have a good time. It's been so long since we've gone out dancing and it's a fun occasion. At least I know it's coming and can try my best to be good the rest of the week!

I'm finding more and more that food isn't my issue though, it's actually excercise and fitting that in! I always thought it was the complete opposite, but I'm having real trouble fitting activity in, at least enough to equal the recommended amount for weight loss (30 mins per day). My friend and I are going for a walk in a local park tomorrow after work, so that should be an hour or so, plus I need to try and either do the gym or a walk at lunch on Wed and Thurs. I'm supposed to get a call about a job interview, however, so it depends on when that is. Need to kick myself in the butt in this regard.

One thing that I think will help this is two of my friends started a Facebook group called The League and the three of us invited our prospective friends to join. We are aiming to plan group events each month throughout the spring/summer (and hopefully beyond!) to get outside, meet new people, and see some of the fun and interesting things our province/region has to offer! Our first planned outing is a hike at Duncan's Cove, and I for one can't wait! I'm also planning on joining the Chebucto Hiking Club, which only costs like $10 for a whole year's membership, and they plan 2-3 hikes a month of differing difficulty and location. I'm hoping this will be another great way to get outside, meet new people, and get some exercise! I'm really excited for these new developments, and I'm slowly learning not to be so hard on myself if I slip here and there. It's all a part of the journey.

I'm obviously really excited that I lost 2 lbs too! Haven't really noticed results in how I look yet, but I definitely feel better - have more energy and don't feel bloated/fat so much so that's great! Thanks so much for all the wonderful comments, by the way! It feels great to have people out there cheering you on, or sharing their own frustrations. Please keep sharing your experiences and tips - any feedback is welcome.

Until next week!

Starting weight: 173lbs
Current weight: 170.8lbs
Weight lost to date: Approx. 2.5 lbs

The Shape of Things

Why, in the name of god and all that is holy, do we live in a society that so demonizes fat, eating and curvy body shapes?! Why, also in god's name, do we keep having the same lip service paid to this issue over and over again without any changes actually being made? When are we going to see women with real bodies on the covers of magazines, and because it's the norm, not to give the illusion of morality?

I asked myself these questions after seeing the latest cover of Vogue magazine (April 2010). It's the annual "Shape" issue as they call it, or as I like to call it "the issue where we pretend to be inclusive and accepting of all body types, but then use a girl who's a size 4 as an example of a "curvy" body." Or something like that.

DISLIKE.

The Shape Issue always features 5 or 6 women of "different shapes" - tall, short, thin, curvy, and pregnant. This sounds like a great idea in theory; so refreshing. But the fact is, the short women featured are not always that short and the curvy ones are never that curvy. Curvy to Vogue is anything larger than a size 4 and short to Vogue is anything shorter than 5 ft 7 (uh, hello, if you think that's short you should jump into my stubby pantlegs and try out 5 ft nothing for a day!). Heck, just a couple of months ago the magazine had a story regarding a new, hot model Lara Stone who, AT A SIZE 4, is considered by many in the fashion biz as "fat". I don't know anyone who would think size 4 is fat. For most women I know, fitting into a size 4 is a pipe dream. And, hello, Gisele is wearing booty shorts and a skin-tight, body-suit top on the cover?! That's not "fashion to flatter every figure", that's fashion to flatter .2% of every figure.

Now, this being said, I do read Vogue every month religiously. I read it because I think it's beautifully presented, culturally relevant and features very well-written, insightful articles by great writers. It's an escape of sorts. However, it doesn't mean that I approve of the standards that such magazines uphold. There's no denying the fact that all of the women within its pages are tall and thin with nary a wrinkle or fat layer in sight. Yet, look outside the pages, at the real tangible people all around you, and how many tall and thin and perfect men and women do you see? I'm guessing you could count the number that you see in one day on one hand (maybe only one finger if you're in the suburbs or a Wal-Mart*).
*one finger may be slightly generous in this case

Sure, as I mentioned, the magazine is beautiful to look at and when it comes right down to it, that's sort of it's purpose. But there's also something sickeningly fake about selling page after page of people who are airbrushed of any character.

Sure, this issue has moved more to the forefront than ever in recent years, and many within the industry, such as supermodel Coco Rocha and some designers, have spoken out about it. Rules have been put in place regarding the health and weight of model's, and celebrities like Beth Ditto and Beyonce with a little meat on their bones have been celebrated as cultural icons, thanks partially to their curvy shapes. I hate to even add my two cents into the fray because it's almost tired now; "old news". But it's just so frustrating. And in spite of all the hype, nothing has changed. Magazines have been taken to the cleaners over this issue, yet there they sit on the newsstand with vacuous, slim models staring out in short shorts, mini-skirts and bikinis, singing their siren song to bystanders, filling them with self-consciousness.

Everything changes, and yet nothing changes, all at the same time.

I'd be lying if I said I love my body; frankly, some days I downright hate it. But for the most part I'm happy with myself and I prefer to have a few curves. Most of the guys and girls I know prefer this as well. I like food, and though I try my best to keep healthy, I'm not going to deprive myself or feel guilty about something that should be a pleasure in life. If I wanna eat a brownie or a handful of mini-eggs then I will.

Luckily I'm realistic and self-confident enough to realize that I don't need or want to hurt myself in order to look like the models in these magazines. But the fact is there are millions of girls that do (and guys, but lets be honest, girls are the ones who bear the brunt of this) and that makes me sad. It makes me sad that we live in a society that promotes such unrealistic ideals, fully KNOWING the damage that it causes.

Maybe someday seeing Size 12 or 14 women on the covers of magazines will be the norm.

Yeah. And maybe I'll wake up tomorrow looking like Gisele.