Gifts Engraved With Love

I have wedding gifts on the brain. One of my closest friends is getting married this summer, so in addition to the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid, I have been doing a lot of thinking about what to get them as a wedding gift.

Oddly, I find buying gifts for close friends can be easier and more difficult in equal measure – you know them well, so you would think it would be easier to pick something out that they would like, BUT the trick is getting them something personal. You want their gift to be something useful, something that will help them remember this special day and that speaks to them as a couple. Somehow a gift card to Walmart just doesn’t seem to quite cut it, know what I mean?

One idea that I keep coming back to is engraved or personalized gifts. What’s more personal than a keepsake engraved with initials, a special date or other symbol that represents the couple and their life together? What I really like about engraved gifts is that you know they are not going to get the exact same thing from someone else (I mean, honestly, how many gravy boats does one couple need?!).

I found some good ideas for engraved gifts on this site. So many wedding gifts can be just cheesy and saccharine, but there are some elegant options. For example, this bottle of champagne with an engraved pewter label would be perfect for the wedding night! 

I love the heart design on the label:

A set of personalized flutes would match nicely and be a nice keepsake of their special day. It would be rather romantic to share a glass of bubbly each year on their anniversary from the very flutes they drank from the day of their marriage. 

(What is really neat about this particular engraved gifts site is that you can type your message into the provided field and it immediately appears on the product photo – you can see what the message would look like in real-time. Very cool way to make sure you like what you see before ordering.Try-before-you-buy = love).

My friend is obsessed with photography and decorating her home, so a personalized gift that combines these two loves would also be a great choice. I love this wedding frame:

  
It would be great to include personalized text in the windows on either side of the photo – perhaps the words from their first dance song, or handwritten portions of their vows. Or my scrapbooking obsessed friend could even scrapbook these sections using clippings from her wedding invite, fabric swatches, pressed flowers from her bouquet, etc. Again, personalized! Sure, I could get her any old frame but it is so much more special to include their wedding information somewhere.

A photo album would also be a great engraved gift for her (considering I KNOW she’s going to want to print, like EVERY photo from the day off for safe-keeping). Again, I could have their names and wedding date engraved on the front of this one – more organized AND more beautiful.

On the other hand, a personalized gift from the couple to, say, members of the wedding party would also be a great idea. For example, I wouldn’t be averse to receiving one or two (or ten) of these personalized gift chocolate bars:

They could personalize it “To Kim – Our Beautiful Bridesmaid” on the wrapper, along with something about what awesomely good ideas I have.

What? Wedding gifts are still wedding gifts as long as they are going to someone IN the wedding. Come on, it’s not ALL about the bride and groom….ok, so it is but what do you want from me? I’ve gotta take advantage of any chance to get free chocolate!

I’m not sure what exact wedding gift I will end up deciding on for them, but I know it will be personal and it will hopefully be something they appreciate for years to come. I hope their personalized gift will serve as a reminder of their special day and what it meant to them.

What about you? Have you ever had to buy a wedding gift for a close friend? Would you consider an engraved or personalized present? I would love to hear your special wedding gift ideas!

Spread a Little Love

After watching this video on Rock n Roll Bride (which is an awesome blog that you should check out if you haven't already - even if you're not getting married anytime soon), I just had to share it:


n'tima & steven from madeulookphotography on Vimeo.


I'm not normally a romantic, sappy person but this video and this couple's story just melted my heart. You can just feel so much love between them and from everyone around them. You know when you just get that "vibe" from a couple, like they are so connected and have so much admiration and respect for one another?

Perhaps it's so heartwarming to see because it's so rare. Or is it around us all the time and we just don't see it? I'm not sure. One of those mysteries of life, I guess. Maybe it's because I'm a bit in love myself at the moment, but this video just made me think a lot about how much love there is in the world and how we should all embrace it. I don't think we notice it or embrace it enough in general. Probably a lot of people are like me and are almost afraid to embrace love too much in case it is taken away. I've had the love rug pulled out from under me enough times before that I have developed a cynical shell and also a fear of giving myself fully to loving others, I'm sorry to say. It's something I'm working on and I suppose a lot of us are, but I think perhaps many of us (me included) can do better.*

I'm not advocating we all go out and hug trees walk around in a "love bubble" where everything is rosy all the time (that's just not realistic, and lets be honest, weird) but it can't hurt to push ourselves a TINY bit outside of our comfort zones in terms of giving (and receiving) love. And I mean TINY: pay compliments when they are due, say thank-you, smile at people, give a loved one a hug just because you feel like it, pay for the order of someone behind you in a drive-thru (I did that the other day and it felt great!), make a donation, and tell the people you love that you love them. These are such small gestures, but for some reason they are sometimes extremely  hard to remember to do, or even if we remember to do it, the fear of saying the words keeps us mum.

(Think about it: If someone you love died tomorrow, would you be more depressed that you DID tell them how you felt, or that you DIDN'T. Kind of a no-brainer when you think of it that way, ain't it? Trust me, I have been in this situation and there is nothing worse than never having had closure with someone before they are gone).

It's been proven that the more love you give out, the more you get back (ok, I suppose this is slightly cliched, but cliches are such for a reason) so today (and tomorrow and the next day), give out a tiny bit more love than you normally do. Just try it and see what happens.

You never know! I figure even if it makes me feel half as good as I do watching this video, than the experiment will have been completely worth it.

*By the way, I Love you Blog. I don't say that enough. This video was also timely for me because I've been thinking about telling a certain person about my feelings but I've been too chicken-shit to do it yet. I think I might have convinced myself to just go ahead and do it - what's the worst that could happen?!

Falling in Love (is hard on the knees)

I was reading this post on one of my favourite blogs today (as I often do...well, if you call every day often), writing a comment in agreement with her post, and I realize I had an opinion I wanted to run with (again as I often do). So...well, I suppose it would be easier for me if I just showed you rather than told you - here's my comment (you may wanna also read the post linked above so that you get the gist of the issue being discussed):

I totally agree with all your points above! I’m going to be 26 in December and I’m single and NOWHERE CLOSE to getting married anytime soon. I live in my own place and have for over 1 year and a half, and seriously (though it sucks being broke a lot of the time) it was one of the best decisions ever. And this is coming from someone who FIRST moved out with her bf of only 8 mths when neither of them had ever lived on their own. BAD IDEA!! As you can imagine, we only lasted another 5 or 6 mths after that, but the good news is we’re now good friends and I got the chance to live totally on my own and I’ve grown so much. I was always a mature person, but I’ve matured even more and realized just how tough and perserverant I am. It’s been much easier to “find myself” without someone else “distracting” me…..hmm you know what?! This has my brain going, I’m going to do a whole post on this!! haha xo *

*(And AGAIN as I often do, I wrote a novel when a 3 sentence comment would do)

As promised, I'm going to continue my comment in this post. I feel like talking about this issue is a bit like beating a dead horse (I've discussed this issue before on my blog and other issues similar to it), but I also think there's a reason for that. This is an issue that I'm constantly confronted with at this stage in my life and it frustrates me.

I'm just going to come right out with it...

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY in the 21st-century do young women STILL place so much importance on getting married?! On having a wedding?! I. Don't. Get. It.

Now before you jump down my throat, I'm not saying getting married or having a wedding is a BAD thing. In fact, I love weddings - they can be really fun, romantic and elegant events and I think if you've found someone you are committed to loving for life that it's wonderful to celebrate that with your loved ones.

However, I don't think getting married or having a wedding is something that someone HAS to do.
I don't think it's something that should be rushed into.
I don't think it's something that one should pay the equivalent of the GDP of CHINA for.
I don't think you should revolve your entire wedding around other people and what they feel is best.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that wedding marketing as a whole is primarily targeted to women. NOT to couples. Women. Of course, part of the reason for this is that the brides traditionally manage the majority of the wedding planning. However, I also feel it's because women just care about weddings more.

And why not?! You get to be a princess for a day, you get to be the centre of attention and of a large circle of love and admiration, you get to dress up more elegantly than you ever have before.

But in the end it's just a wedding. It's one day of your life. I'm not saying it's not an important day, but it's not THE MOST important. People seem to forget that the wedding is over pretty quick and that you have a lifetime (if all works out) to look forward to afterwards. I mean what's more important, one perfect day or a hundred thousand great ones (with a few shitty ones thrown in for good measure - c'est le vie, non')?

Anyway, I want to make it very clear that I'm not wedding or bride bashing here. I'm just trying to provide some perspective because (as I mentioned) it seems to me that lately I'm surrounded by "wedding talk" in various forms. And by lately I mean pretty much ever since I turned 24. Perhaps it's just me, but I doubt it. I've talked to others my age (both attached and not) and I'm not alone in my opinions.

When it comes right down to it, my motto is "to each his (or her) own". I just know that a wedding (and a marriage) is not necessarily something I want. I'm not saying it's something I DON'T want. I'm just not sure. And I guess I'm just not in any rush. I realize I am single and "haven't met the right person" (as people keep telling me) but even if I had, I feel that it wouldn't matter because this is a time of self-discovery. I'm enjoying being on my own because it's allowing me to connect to the person that (ultimately) I'm truly stuck with for life -  ME! I feel like I'm still figuring myself out, what I want, what I don't want, where I want to be in 5 or 10 years, settling into the perfect career for me, etc. In other words, I'M LIVING, or trying to. I don't know that I want a wedding because I don't know what I want in life!

This is a time for commitment to me, as cheesy as that sounds. Do I want to settle down eventually? Well, of course I do. Of course I want to find a special person who "gets" me and that I "get", that respects me and encourages me, and who makes me a better person. I want to build a life with someone and have a companion to talk to and build a portfolio of experiences with. I'm human, and ALL humans want this.

But, when it comes right down to it, I don't need a piece of paper with some signatures on it and an overpriced buffet dinner to prove that I love someone and want to commit to them forever. I can just tell them this myself (and him to me) and save a lot of money and stress (did I mention save money?). Also, I guess it's not about not wanting a wedding, it's about wanting a wedding that is "me", and that means "non-traditional".

Gah, who knows?! I'm a cynic, I'm the first one to admit that, so perhaps I just need to lighten up.

Seriously though, to all of you past brides and brides-to-be out there, to all of you who are currently swooning over invitations and seating plans or have in the past, to all of you who have found the person you believe to be "the one", I just want to say this: Congratulations. I'm happy for you. Enjoy. You are very lucky.

But if one more of you looks at me with a pouty face and says "aw, don't worry, you'll find someone too" (or something similar) I swear to God I will slap that pretty white tulle off your head so fast it'll make your head spin straight into your Silver Anniversary party.

(Please don't hurt me, ladies)

Modern Love (get me to the church on time)

With the wedding of my best friend taking up the better part of my psyche and time this past month or so (particularly this past weekend), I've been thinking a lot about my own wedding (well, if I have one) and what I would want it to be like.

How I'm picturing my big day (if I ever happen to become engaged), is a trip away (Carribean? Italy?), and outdoor ceremony in a scenic area (by a lake, on a beach) with a few select people (close family and friends), and us two. If we wish to involve our family further, and involve more people, I would see us having a party upon our return - nothing too fancy, just a get-together with food, drinks and good music - to give those that couldn't share the big day with us a chance to share in the event.

Watching my best friend and her fiance grapple with the politics of planning and involving everyone in their extended families in their day, while still trying to keep it about them and a celebration of their union, cured me of ever wanting to go through a similar experience.

I'm not saying it's not a good idea to involve family at all, I'm just saying it's not fun when family members get TOO involved (unless you want them to). It just makes things so much more complicated and the real point of the matter gets lost - it becomes about everyone else's needs and wants and not about celebrating the couples' love and union. You have to create seating charts that require an PhD in Mathematics to decipher because Uncle Herald can't be at the same table as Aunt Phyllis since they hate each other, you have to provide a meal for every Tom, Dick and Harry you ever met in University and their significant others, you have to hear your mother/mother-in-law's opinions about the "right" way of doing things every time you turn around, and blah blah blah...

I'm also not saying you shouldn't have a big wedding - a marriage should be a celebration -  but I for one am shocked at the amounts of money that some people shell out just for such a celebration. It's ridiculous, and I don't see the point in starting off your marriage poor and in debt just to have a big fancy, fairytale event. Of course, even going away to get married and having a party could be expensive, but it would make it much easier to keep costs down as there wouldn't be as many small costs randomly adding up (chances are a lot of things would be inclusive, also the big luxury would be the trip; the rest of the wedding could be very simple). And I figure if I'm going to spend $7,000, I might as well have an adventure or a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Plus, with a destination ceremony, you have the honeymoon built in without any extra planning and packing! Not to mention that if you keep it simple and only include a few select people, you're not asking your friends and family to shell out hundreds of dollars for your special day, which can sometimes put people in an awkward position.

Also, I'm not going to lie - I would love to have a day just for "me", where I'm the centre of attention and I can wear a beautiful dress and accessories, and have an excuse to have a big party and catch up with old friends and family. I can certainly see the appeal. But at the same time, I absolutely dread having such a huge occasion centred around me - after all it's about you as a couple, not you as a bride - and having the weight of expectation on my shoulders. And I don't want to be put in a place where I have even a slight chance to become a "bridezilla" and make everyone around me miserable just to get married. Besides, you can be the centre of attention, look beautiful and have a big party without spending a lot or pulling every last strand of hair out of your head.

Of course, I'm not even sure I'm the "marrying kind" as they say, or that I even believe in marriage. Well, it's not that I DON'T believe in it; I just feel on some level that it's overrated and not really something that is necessary in today's world. I guess seeing a horrid divorce unfold in front of your young eyes would do that to you. Aside from that though, I feel on some level that, even though we have come a long way in terms of feminism and women's rights, girls still place a huge amount of importance on getting married and having a fancy wedding, and I don't understand it. It kind of dumbfounds me. To their favour though, there's no question that society still places this pressure onto people my age, and people in general, to be in relationships and define them according to tradition. Plus, I'm single and haven't found that person I love enough to want to spend the rest of my life with, so perhaps when that happens I'll change my mind (I doubt it though).

PLEASE NOTE: All of this is JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION and by no means am I judging what anyone else chooses to with their life or for their wedding - everyone has a different idea of what is fun and important, what is worth spending money on, who should be involved, etc. I'm just sharing my point of view, as this is an issue I find very interesting and that has been on my mind lately, and I happen to have strong opinions about. I just don't necessarily agree with some of the pressures that have been built up around these events. Also, none of these comments are reflective of my friend's wedding - their ceremony and reception were lovely and tasteful and personal, and I know for a fact that they budgeted everywhere they possibly could (more proof that you don't need to lay down the annual GDP of a small country to have a great wedding).

Ultimately, what I feel is that the wedding isn't the important thing - the marriage is, and that's what you want to put the time and money into. The wedding lasts a day, but your marriage (ideally) lasts much longer.

Motivation Mondays #5: Two steps forward, one step back

Needless to say I'm not as excited to write this week's weight-loss update as I was last week. I didn't lose anymore weight this week, and frankly didn't do well at all in the eating/exercising department.

I was on the road for two days for work, and anyone who travels for work knows how freakin hard it is to eat right in those types of situations. Usually, there are not many meal options (usually fast food) and you're sitting for long periods of time.

In addition to the travelling, I also had a job interview on Tuesday afternoon, which was very nervewracking and had me in a tense ball of nerves for pretty much all of Monday and Tuesday. I think I did pretty well, but it was intimidating and there are a few questions I'm not sure I answered well. Who ever really knows with these things, though, ya know? You just do your best and hope to god your best was better than everyone else's (though chances are it wasn't). I also had last minute prep for my best friend's bridal shower, and for a hike on Saturday morning/afternoon. Busy was the word of the week, so dieting and exercising was not first and foremost on my mind. When I wasn't working on all the above activities, I was flagged out on the couch or crawling into bed zombie-like.

It was one of my co-workers' last days on Friday, so we all went out for a greasy Chinese food lunch plus had ice cream cake after (I couldn't resist it and ate a piece that was way too large). The group hike does give me some points, especially since the park ended up being full of tall ladder-like stairways that we climbed (one rather large one I went down then back UP, plus I went down two other good sized ones, not to mention a couple of rather steep hills in between). We hiked for about 1.5-2 hours so it was a good workout. However, the fish-and-chip lunch afterwards probably replaced all of the calories I had previously burned off. And I felt like I was going to have a heart attack after reaching the top of the larger stairway, and my legs have been extremely sore the whole weekend. Not good - clearly need to work on cardio!!

After we got back from the hike around 3pm, I came back to my moms and did prep for the shower for the rest of the day, so I was totally exhausted by the time I got home at around 9pm (I had gotten up at 6:30am to meet everyone for 9am). Then Sunday was the actual shower, which meant running around setting up and decorating all morning, running around taking photos, cleaning and setting food up during the event, and running around and cleaning afterwards. To say it was a busy weekend is a slight understatement.

This may sound like a lot of exercise, but it really wasn't enough to burn calories (esp since I had a couple of pieces of custard-filled cake in there plus some pasta casserole). I really didn't expect to get on the scale and see any difference today because I KNEW I didn't lose anything because I didn't feel it.

Though honestly I haven't really felt the weight loss yet at all, and looking at the photos from the hike on Saturday morning, I am still not happy with my shape. I still feel like I look like a blimp in photos, to be honest. So, I'm back to being frustrated. I'm not going to give up, but I just wish I would notice more of a difference, you know?

Fitting exercise into my schedule (enough to actually burn calories anyway) continues to be hard. I talked to a friend who is signing up for a twice-weekly class, and I'm thinking I need to do something similar. If I have a class to go to that I've paid money for, I think that will be more motivating than just leaving the "fitting in" of exercise to me in my "spare time" (obviously that has worked out swimmingly so far *rolls eyes*). I'll look and see what I can find. I'd like to do something fun and energetic like Zumba or kick-boxing or something, but as usual I'm worried about cost. I've been totally broke all week. I can't even get groceries until I get paid on Friday and have to settle for leftovers until then. How sad is that? (being in a wedding party is an expensive endeavour, I'm realizing).

I've pretty much stopped following Weight Watchers altogether, so maybe I should start recording my food again. Urgh, it's just such a nuisance though, and I hate to sound like a baby but I have so many other things on my mind this week I can't be bothered. Plus, I KNOW I can stick to eating right without the points system, it's just a matter of MAKING myself do it. Frankly, I let myself go a little bit this week because I was happy about reaching the 5lb mark; I got complacent and that's how you end up putting weight back on.

Anyway, this week I'm away again for work so I imagine more fast food will be in the picture, but I'm going to at least try to make an effort to order healthier food, i.e. sandwiches/salads instead of fried or sugary stuff, smaller portions, drink lots of water. I doubt I'll get much exercise in again. This weekend is a 3-day one, however, so it will be a good chance to get out for a long hike again or take a class or something. I actually took today off work because I wasn't feeling so hot when I got up, but after I rested I got a TON of stuff done around the apartment that I've put off for WEEKS, and that feels really good. So, I can't be too hard on myself.

Alas, this is the life of a woman struggling with weight loss - two steps forward, one step back. Hopefully this week will involve the former.

I Say a Little Prayer for You

Wow, I've been slacking with the blogging this week. I have an excuse though - I was in New Brunswick for work all day Wednesday and Thursday and Friday was crazy busy between dropping stuff at work, taking the rental car back, blah blah blah. Went on another "so-so" date last night and wondered why I keep putting myself through meeting guys from these dating websites when none of them ever seem to go anywhere and tell myself to quit it and just sit back and let myself meet someone "organically" except don't really want to when it comes right down to it because then I figure I'll be alone a really long time. Ya know, the usual.

Anyway, time to get back into it! I've had a good weekend so far - had a meeting today about my best friend's bachelorette party, which is 4 weeks from today (man, where the eff does the time go?! Seriously, someone needs to find where it goes, fill up a ginormous truck and bring it back to me!). Not sure if I've mentioned it before but my best friend is getting married on June 5th and I'm her Maid of Honour and as such am responsible for planning the shower and stagette (ok, who uses the term 'stagette' and who says 'bachelorette'? I use both interchangeably but some have looked at me like an alien when I use the former so I don't think it's as common - is that what the British use? Just curious if anyone else says 'stagette').

I'm really excited because I think Nicole and Brad are a great couple, and even though she's young (24 next week) she's mature and level-headed. They have been together for 5 years, and because she was in school full-time out of the city, and he was in the military, they have been long-distance for a huge chunk of that time. I honestly don't know how they deal with being apart for such long periods of time. I could never do it! They are definitely committed and are one of those couples that's going to last (and I'm her best friend, so if I didn't think he was good for her, I would say so! Ya feel me, ladies??).

Nicole and I have been friends since we were 5-6 years old and grew up across the street from each other, so it's so wierd to see her getting married, and becoming a teacher - things we've talked about doing someday for, like, forever! I love her to bits. Though when I say love, I mean in a purely platonic way. But if I were a lesbian I would totally tap that...

What?

Anyhoo......

Seriously though, I can't wait. Though this wedding is rather bittersweet for me, both because she will be moving to Alberta within two days of the wedding so I have no idea when I'll see her again, and also because helping plan a wedding does (on some level) serve to remind you that you AREN'T getting married, and are in fact, ALONE. I mean I'm not one of those that sits at home and cries into her Cheetos about being single and stays at home every night wearing sweats and talking to her cat - I have a very busy, happy and fulfilling life without a man. Plus, in the words of Jamie Foxx, I can "buy my own bottles", thank you very much. But let's be honest here, the only real purpose that weddings serve for single people are to remind them that they are, in fact, single. I'm not looking forward to Nicole's grandmothers/great aunts asking me "how my love life is" and giving my sympathetic looks when I answer something to the affect of "I don't have one at the moment" as if they are looking down at a helpless little puppy shivering in the rain on the sidewalk. You poor thing; don't worry you will find someone someday too. Mm hm, yeah. Because, of course, there's something wrong with me if I don't. It doesn't help that I'm about a year and a half OLDER than Nicole is.

But I'm not bitter.

Seriously though, I can't wait....
I already said that didn't I?

Really though, I can't. It's going to be a great wedding, and I'm really proud to be in her wedding party and to be able to share her special day so close to her. Plus, I know the reception is going to be one rocking, East-Coast, drunken party (with an extra side of drunkenness) and who wouldn't be looking forward to that?! ALSO, since it's my best friend's wedding, I have complete artistic license to pull a Rupert Everett at the rehearsal dinner:



"Someday I knew it would end up like this...like some glittering Rock Hudson, Doris Day extravaganza". Haha, oh Rupert, how I love you. Perhaps he will show up unexpectedly at the reception just to surprise me?! Rupert, are you listening?!

Anyway, plans are mostly in place for the shower and bachelorette, plus I took my dress in for my first fitting today (had to have it taken out at the sides...depressing) so it's really starting to feel real. I can't BELIEVE it's only like 6 weeks away! We've been talking about it for 3 years and it seemed so far off, and now it's like, here! I really wonder where the time goes - I know I said that already too, but it's because I REALLY REALLY wonder it!

In other news, I'm on the job hunt yet again since my contract is up in June. Have a job interview this coming week for a job I really want, so fingers crossed. I also bought some hair dye that I'm going to try out today. Observe:

It's not really the best photo, but you get the idea. It's "medium golden mahogany brown", which is quite the mixture. I had been itching to dye my hair auburn for a while, and finally did in February, but it turned out darker and less red than I was hoping. This one has a bit more red in it, so I'm hoping it will be more what I was going for. Hey, as long as I don't come out looking like barney, I'm cool. I really should be cleaning, but I'm going to do this instead, just because I'm feeling productive.

Going to see Girl With The Dragon Tattoo tonight - hoping it's good! I've heard the story is kinda brutal in spots (including a brutal rape scene?!) but also heard good reviews. My dating habits would suggest that I'm a masochist, so perhaps this will be just my kind of movie!

Happy Weekend, all!