Making a List (Checking it More Than Twice)

For those of you that don't know, I made a little list last year I like to call the "30 B4 30", wherein I place extremely high expectations on myself to achieve a list of 30 things before I turn 30 (which will happen - egads - on December 11th, 2014).

Masochism, FTW!

You can read up on my list here (though there have been MANY changes to the list since then).

I pretty much place extremely high expectations on myself all day every day in my life, so you would think crossing things off the list would be easy for me. However, considering I only crossed ONE thing off my list so far (#19 - Got a Capp/Espresso coffee system for Christmas - yay!), I'd say I need a kick in the butt if I'm ever going complete the entire list.

I'm probably crazy for putting this much pressure on myself (some of the things on that list are frigin' complicated and expensive!) but what can I say, I like a challenge. And I really like to try new things and seek out new experiences. Hey, I wouldn't be living up to the title of the blog if I didn't, right?

The way I look at it, it's never a bad thing to set goals for yourself. Plus, I find writing things down (and telling the entire Internet) makes me more accountable. Who knows if I'll achieve all these things, but at least I'm daring to dream that I could!

If there is anything I've learned about myself over the years, however, it's that I'm not the most self-disciplined person around. I tend to be good at talking or thinking about doing things, but not so good at the actual DOING, know what I mean? Or I will at least procrastinate on the doing for a long time then get to a point where I am so fed up with my own laziness that I FINALLY do it (then wonder why I didn't just DO it in the first place because the doing really wasn't that hard).

I seriously want to kick my own butt sometimes.

Anyway, this is something I would like to change this year. If there is something I want to do, I would like to just DO it instead of worrying about whether or not I should. With this in mind, I decided I need to revisit my 30 B4 30 list. And not only do I need to revisit it, I need to choose a few things to focus on every few months. A list is great, but it's very easy to create one then just put it aside and completely forget about it/ignore it. I figure if I break it down then crossing things off will be much more manageable.

It's important to note that many of these goals WILL need to be put on hold until I find a permanent job (call it an excuse if you want, but it is really tough to achieve many goals when you have NO financial breathing room). Also many of them will have ongoing timelines and will evolve given the circumstances. But that's life right?! And I can at least keep them in the back of my brain and lay the groundwork so when the timing is right I can tackle them head-on.

I won't bother pasting the entire list here as you can view it in my left sidebar but here are the items I'm going to focus on for the near future:

5. Sky-dive
I am hoping to do this in the summer! Obviously, since I live in Canada where winter is a cold-hearted bitch, it isn't possible to tackle this one any earlier than that. I know you have to take a "course" that costs about $150 before you can go up as well, so I will have to start investigating that once the weather warms. I plan on talking to friends that have done it to get recos on instructors/locations. (I imagine when the time comes, my expression will very closely resemble those of Jack and Morgan in the above photo, but less wrinkly).

6. Lose 10-20 lbs
Those of you that have been reading me for a while know that this is going to be an ongoing goal. I'm focusing on losing 10 lbs right now to start and I'll go from there. I've struggled with my weight for years now so this is not going to be an overnight achievement, however I'm going to try my hardest to get at least to the 10lb mark because I know I'll feel a lot better about how I look. I think losing 10-20 lbs by the end of this year is a completely realistic and manageable goal.

13. Get a dog and/or 2 cats
I plan on adopting another cat. I had to put mine down last Fall and it was really tough, but my apartment has felt so empty and lonely without a pet I can't wait to get one. I just can't afford to take one on right now. Once I have another cat for a few months I will have to assess whether getting a 2nd cat is possible or if I'd rather get a dog. Getting a dog may have to wait until I move into a bigger apartment with a yard. It's (obviously) not fair to take pets in that you are not completely willing and able to take care of 100%

14. Visit California
Gosh I really hope this happens this year! The man and I have been discussing taking an affordable vacation this Spring, and my mom and I have also discussed a road trip at the end of the year since she turns 65 in December. Both possibilities - as always - depend on many factors, but they are at least possibilities. This could relate to #20 (though we are also discussing a possible drive to Montreal/Ottawa at the end of May for a friend's wedding), and also to #30, so achieving this goal could cross off up to two others on my list! (woo-hoo!).

25. Further my education
I have various ideas in mind under this umbrella, which I won't discuss indepthly. Let me just say that there are several online courses I'm interested in taking to upgrade various skills (and for fun!), and I also have a job possibility on the horizon which may allow me to pursue a Masters degree in my field at a significant cost savings. The details here will remain up in the air for now, but this is something I'm very interested in doing soon.

26. Make painting and/or drawing into a hobby again
This is something I'm actually already working on. Long story short, I used to draw and paint and make stuff all the time and as I grew older I lost touch with that and I've always regretted it. These creative projects always brought me so much happiness and were so important for relieving stress, I really want to tap back into that. I painted a box as a gift for my mom's birthday in December, and I'm doing a painting (plus a small crafty project) for a good friend's birthday coming up at the end of the month. I'm finding that I am not so out of practice as I originally thought, and I still get the same sense of accomplishment and joy that I used to get from creating something pretty and taking an idea from my head and crafting it into something tangible using just my hands and some materials. It feels really good, and I hope I can keep up the momentum.

So, there you have it - these are the main goals I plan on focusing on in the next 6 months! I will continue to update about my efforts on the blog whenever I have an accomplishment of note to share!

Wish me luck!

Do you have a "birthday list" or "bucket list"? What things are you focusing on achieving at the moment? How do you stay accountable to your goals?

(Don't) Stop Til You Get Enough

I'm not a party animal. I'm also not a homebody. I'm somewhere in between (a tyan? a mebo?).

I like to have balance in my life, and that means making time for relaxing as well as working, watching tv as well as cleaning the house, hanging out with friends and spending time alone. I go a little nuts if I have too much of either side, i.e. too much time at home or by myself, or too much time out with other people. I need to temper each side with a little of the other to stay sane.

There are times when I wish I were a party animal, or that I was one of those people that can go and go and go and never (seemingly) take a break. I see people like that and I think "how the bleep do they do that?!"

But when it comes right down to it, balance is something I feel everyone needs. Maybe not as much as I do but in some measure. The fact is, those people that seem to be "doing it all" with so much ease will burn out eventually. It may not happen right away and they might not see it coming, but it will happen.

I've been in that place, feeling burned out, and it's not fun. It's also not healthy and makes you feel and look like crap, not to mention affects your performance and threatens the quality of time and effort you give to all those activities you are (ironically) racing around trying to get done. I also have friends that do this and they are some of the most unreliable, hard-to-get-a-hold of people I've ever met (although I love them). What good is it checking off all those things on your "to-do" list if you only talk to or see your friends (or have fun) once in a while, read: when all your to-do's are completed.

On the other hand, I know people who are "all play and no work", that never seem to do anything productive with their time (except drink and maybe stalk people on facebook...oh and eat all their parent's food) and I don't agree with this either. You know you can never rely on them for anything, except maybe relying on you for something.

I sympathize with both sides, but never want to be too much of either. Hence the need for balance.

This all being said, I would categorize myself as a "busy" person who likes to have her hands in many pots, To be honest I'm always doing something even when I'm doing nothing, if that makes any sense, and I get bored very very easily especially if I'm stuck inside or away from people for an extended period of time with nothing to read, watch, or listen to. However I've gotten a lot better at saying "no" to things I know I won't have time to contribute to. Nothing is worse than committing to something and then not being able to follow through, you almost always let someone down and feel shitty about yourself.

I also recognize that not only am I full of contradictions, I'm not perfect (I know, I was as shocked as you). I get lazy and procrastinate as much as the next person and I'm the WORST at starting things! It sometimes can take me forever to get to things that are not immediate priorities. I just try my best and recognize when I need to get things done and when I need down time.

Putting this into practice, I literally try to plan down time and "do stuff" time into my week - if I know I'm going to be out Tues and Wed night, I make sure I keep Thurs night as a "night in". Even if I haven't scheduled a relaxing evening or day, I pay attention to how I feel and if I get a portion of my tasks done and I'm feeling tired, I take a break. Even if it just means sitting and reading a magazine for 20 minutes, or grabbing a glass of water, it's still helpful to inject that little bit of tranquilizer into the moment and sloooow things down.

Obviously, there are some tasks and responsibilities that can't wait; they need to be done when they NEED to be done, not when I feel like it. Also, don't think I'm some kind of neurotic, OCD nutjob that schedules every minute of every day of her life (my condition is getting a lot better thanks to my new meds *I kid, I kid!*). However, it's important to realize that some things CAN wait, and you're not some kind of failure if you don't check every item off your list all at once. Give yourself a break.

I don't always practice what I preach but I try to give myself a break whenever I can. For the most part, this is how I try to live my life - with balance. And you should too - unless you have a questionable past, I'm assuming you are human (like me) and we humans can't do it all. It's ok to rest and relax once in a while - in fact, we need it.

Some of the things I do when I have a lot of energy are: housekeeping, blog or write articles, take a workout class (have tried Zumba a couple of times and love it!) or go for a walk, go shopping, put on funky music and dance my butt off and/or sing at the top of my lungs, go dancing/to the movies/out for supper, lunch, or coffee/to a fun event/on a quick roadtrip (with friends), make plans and lists, etc.

Some of the things I do when I don't have so much energy and want to relax: read (books and magazines - currently reading The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver and the latest issues of Vogue and Lucky - and the Saturday Globe and Mail if I happen to get a donation from mom), watch tv (current favs include Dexter, Project Runway, ANTM, Grey's Anatomy, Big Bang Theory, and Oprah once in a while - judge me all you want but her Farewell Season shows have been amazing so far!) or movies, take a yoga class (this could also go in the above category), kick around on the interwebs, grab a coffee at Chapters and wander around, call or email a friend, paint my nails, listen to jazz or classical music, etc.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to lay on the couch and watch tv. Yesterday I worked a long day, completed a writing test for a job opportunity, and went to choir last night so I've earned it!

What do you do to keep balance in your life? Are you someone who likes balance or not?

Working for the Weekend

I have happened upon an intriguing new job trend/idea. I read about this recently (can't remember where) and saw it mentioned again today on Gala Darling's blog, and it's something that got ye olde creeky wheels  inside my head a-turning.

The trend/idea to which I refer is that of working One Week ON, One Week OFF. This is the work method that personal development blogger Steve Pavlina practices and promotes.

The idea is that, rather than working Monday to Friday all day with weekends off, one works full out for one full week, than takes one full week off. Pavlina explains that during your ON weeks, you work full out (50-60-100+ hours in the week) on work-only tasks and responsibilities (no personal distractions) and during OFF weeks it's really just the opposite, with you focusing 100% on your personal life with no intrusion from work. The OFF weeks are not to be seen as "lazy time" where you just sit around and watch tv all the time, but rather time for you to pursue things that are personally fulfilling and that you wouldn't normally have the time to focus on in your free evenings/weekends - for example, spending time with family, taking a class, taking a trip, or taking care of personal "chores" around home, such as gardening or painting.

This, of course, flies directly in the face of what 99.99% of the population consider to be a normal, modern work schedule, so naturally it sounds a little wierd and unfathomable when you first consider it. I have to admit, I wasn't entirely convinced it was a realistic approach when I first read about it. But Pavlina makes some compelling arguments as to its merits, and I now think there is definitely something to it if you do it right.

First of all, I like the idea of splitting up time equally between your professional and personal self; I think all too often, many of us don't spend enough time on our personal selves, and often we simply CAN'T because we only have comparably few hours in which to do this (a few hours in the evening and two days on the weekend may seem like a lot of time but really it's not, especially when you add things like errands and appointments in there).

Using the OWO (I'm going to use this acronym from now on as I'm too lazy to type out the whole name every time) method, you have a whole week, 7 days in a row, to focus on these things. It just gives you a larger chunk of time, and all at once rather than in smaller segments. So, even if you have errands and appointments to get to, you still have plenty of other time to just "be" and have fun. And you have more flexibility - you can schedule that haircut for 10am on a Tuesday, or go to that 3pm Thursday yoga class if you want, and you don't have to work around being back at the office at a certain time, or making up time for missing work hours. You can take a trip out of town for more than two days, for one!

There's something to be said for having a "mental" break. I really try and balance my time between working and resting, being social and being alone, etc. But this can be hard when my time is so scheduled and segmented. My brain doesn't always have the chance to take a real break, and this can profoundly affect productivity in a negative way or eventually cause burn out.

Beyond this, when you devote strictly clear-cut weeks to work and play, you may be less tempted to cut into all-important time with your loved ones to take care of work. You can really create a clean separation between these two areas of your life and be able to spend extended periods of time with each. If you are working on a project you are very passionate about, it can be reassuring to have a full, uninterrupted week to work on it. You can really get into a "groove" and run with it, getting a huge amount of work completed. You don't have to worry about your flow being interrupted by the clock tolling 5pm.

This all being said, I do feel there are some negatives to this method. First of all, this type of work schedule is really only realistic for people who either work from home or are self-employed. Let's be honest, most managers in a traditional office environment wouldn't be keen on their employees taking every other week "off". And most workplaces today run on this schedule so you would be hard-pressed to find a job where you could follow the OWO scenario. Many people work for themselves and/or have a lot of flexibility in their jobs, but many people don't.

Not to mention that your activities would not necessarily be in "sync" with the activities of the rest of the business world, which runs on a 9-5, weekday schedule; trying to get a hold of a colleague or contact midday on a Saturday may not necessarily be easy. Plus many businesses you may have to rely on heavily, including couriers, call centres, etc, are only open during the week, during the day. In most cases, you would still need to concentrate the majority of your productivity within the traditional 9-5 Monday to Friday schedule in order to meet yours and your clients/colleagues needs.

Also, it's impossible to ignore the fact that much of the traditional working world is deadline-driven. Even if you are self-employed, often you may be working for a client and many clients have very specific needs and very specific times by which these needs must be met. What if you have a client who wants your work due during one of your OFF weeks? Would you insert an extra ON week in there to make up for this? Wouldn't this mess up your entire system? Would you be upfront with the client and say that you cannot have this done for next week because you're "off" or "away"? Not every client would be flexible to your unique schedule, and frankly many might frown upon it.

I know something that might be an issue for me when following the OWO method would be motivation. I mentioned before about getting into a "groove" with a task, and sometimes once this is broken it can be hard to get back. I find when I walk away from a task and come back to it, I sometimes find that I've lost that "spark" or my train of thought, and I have to struggle to find that again. While I do feel that walking away from a task and coming back to it later can be beneficial (being able to look at work with "fresh" eyes can sometimes allow you to see things with a new perspective), this would really depend on the task and how long one was away from it. One full week away from something could be too much, forcing you to start from square one when you return. This is certainly not productive. Also, I know from experience that it can be REALLY hard to come back to work period after having a week off. You may really have to psych yourself up to get back to the grind once your ON week comes around again.

Obviously, all of these negatives I mentioned would depend on the type of work you do and what your obligations are. The great thing about the workplace today is that there is a kind of growing flexibility; many more people work from home or for themselves today than ever before and many companies are beginning to recognize the value of building flexibility into their employees' schedules. Many are discovering that a kind of balance between work and home is very important to employee productivity. My boss, for one, is always willing to give us time off if we need it and is more concerned with the work getting done than "putting in time". Happier employees = more productive employees = more company profits > more and more employers are picking up on this. Living to work is no longer the norm.

In my two years out of University working full time, I've certainly realized that I'm not a live to work person. It's important to me to have a job I enjoy and feel appreciated in, but it's also important for me to have enough time to devote to myself, my loved ones and my personal passions. I really like the idea of having a full week on/off, as I find I often end up "cramming" my personal interests into periods of time that aren't really long enough. I find this makes me rush through things more, procrastinate more, and I also feel burned out more often.

So, given all this, I've realized that I may not be someone who is cut out for a traditional desk job with someone working over my shoulder; I need creativity, I need change, I need flexibility and I need personal autonomy. I like the idea more and more of being my own boss and setting my own hours. I guess this is part of the reason why careers like graphic design and journalism intrigue me, as you are able to make a living doing these activities "freelance". I've also thrown around the idea of someday starting my own pet-sitting business (cue amused chuckling), and this is also something that would allow me to work for myself and possibly initiate the OWO method.

Working for myself would require a lot of self-discipline on my part, of course, and I would miss the social aspect that working in an office provides, but it's certainly an idea that intrigues me. And I feel that half the battle would be getting used to the schedule; once you did it for a while I think it would become like second-nature and you'd wonder, "why haven't I always worked like this?!".

Some people need structure and a segmented schedule; some people need flexibility and longer periods of time off. It's really about finding what works best for you; not only what makes you the most productive, but also what feeds your soul the most. I'm still trying to figure out what feeds my soul the most, but I'm getting there, and this is partly because I'm aware now that there are options. Options which I plan to explore as I move forward.

Right round, Right round

Man, I've been slacking this week. Not just on my promise to blog 3x a week, but pretty much everywhere in my life, it seems.

This weekend I didn't really have any plans, so I had grand ideas of spending all day Saturday and Sunday getting tremendous amounts of work done - 5 hours of my TEFL course, the SPCA newsletter (haven't even STARTED this, terrible!), a short bio on the kitty so that I can get the ball rolling on "Operation Heartwrenching Adoption", finish my full application for the i-to-i internship and send it off, clean, etc, etc, etc. I got exactly two of these things done, and one not quite as fully as I would have liked. Of course, I had all day Sunday to redeem myself and what did I do? Went to mum's for most of the day, without materials sufficient enough to complete these aforementioned tasks.

Now some reasons I didn't get as much done on the weekend as I would have liked were not in my control (the TEFL coursework took longer than I thought it would, plus I had to take my sister to swimming Saturday, which took up half the day). But I could have crammed in a lot more work if I had been more self-disciplined.

This is something I need to work on. I think part of the issue with my current lack of self-motivation is just that my head is spinning with non-stop, frantic thoughts about all the said things I need to get done. This franticness causes my brain to run away screaming like a little girl and hide under the proverbial bed, rather than stand up and face the obligations and make THEM run away (after being completed, of course). I also like to have fun and therefore will opt to go to that movie I want to see or do something with a friend when I have a night or afternoon off, rather than "booking" it off to get some important obligations taken care of. This procrastination causes that many things weighing on my mind to get heavier and to spin around more quickly, which only serves to add to the problem.

Clearly, I need to make order of these thoughts, but I'm not sure how to do this. My slightly anal personality dictates that I should outline all of the things I need to get done in some kind of table or list, defining the deadlines and goals of each. But, then I'd have to add this chart to my TO DO list and my brain would have more things to worry about and this would also add to the problem again (see what I mean??).

Perhaps this is all just a case of the "Februaries", I dunno. What I do know is that I have to kick myself in the butt and come out of it. It's time to manage my time more efficiently and stick to what I say I'm going to do (no procrastinating! Put off procrastination now!). I also need to eat the elephant one bite at a time (as my mother says) and not expect to get everything done at once. I need to prioritize and take care of the most important things first (DUH). One thing about me, I may be a little slow at getting started but once I start and put my nose to the grindstone, I can get a crapload done in a short amount of time - I can be a machine!! I know I have that in me and I need to find it, STAT!!

Perhaps I will do a little bit of daily "scheduling" for myself - nothing too OCD, just a rough plan of what I will try to complete during the slots of free time I have each day (e.g. tonight between when I get in from work around 5:15 to when I leave for choir at 6:50, I will sit down and get the SPCA newsletter layout started). I mean sit down at the beginning of the day with my planner out, really look at the time in the day and write down the options for getting one or two things taken care of. AND STICK TO IT IF IT KILLS ME*! Done. Plan hatched. Execute. Well, at least I will as soon as I'm done this post....and catching up on the blog updates in my reader...and looking at this cute kitty video**...

On another, completely unrelated note , I went to see a psychic last weekend who told me some very intriguing things about the future, among them that I have stopped being a "doormat" (her word) and have relaxed a lot (though I still need to do this a lot more), that I will meet the man I'm going to marry before Christmas, that I'm going to take a trip very very very far away, and that I will receive a set of Tibetan prayer flags. So, see, if I don't kick my butt into gear now, I may never get to experience any of this!!

*I wonder if coffee would make my head spin more slowly??......no?? Well, it certainly helps one's incoherent rambling, that's for sure, so vodka it is then!
**Can I give myself time-out if I don't follow my own rules of homework??