Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Good Hair

Here's hoping you look a helluva lot better than this on Glee tonight!
I really want to shave my head.

Seriously.

Ok, well only partially seriously. I'm so fed up with this mop right now that even though I would never actually do it (I have a big, white head) part of me wants to grab the razor and just get rid of it all! My hair has gotten quite long and since I'm still enjoying a layover in Broketown, I have put off getting a haircut for a couple of months.

My hair is quite manageable - it's completely straight and quite smooth so I don't really have to style it much for it to look at least somewhat nice. However, when it grows long, it gets BULKY. My hair is strange - the strands are fine but I have a TON of them. I have ALOT of hair and the longer it gets, the more there is (duh) and therefore, the more annoying it gets.

But no matter how annoying it gets, no matter how much I want to reach for the razor, I can't quit my hair. It's like that toxic boyfriend you keep going back to even though you know he's no good. You want to leave but something keeps pulling you back, keeps you tethered with an invisible leash.

Ladies, do you feel me? Or am I just a wierdo? I say 'ladies' because it seems that women in particular suffer from what I would call HOD, or Hair Obsessive Disorder, which is characterized by a rather ridiculous attachment to the follicles erupting from one's scalp.

My name is Kim and I'm a Hairaholic. I admit it (after all, that's the first step).

But why do we suffer from such a silly, narcissistic disorder in the first place? I mean, it's just HAIR! Does it really need to look perfect all the time? Do we really need to agonize over it's colour, shape and mood every minute of every day? Do we really need to spend half a month's rent to emulate the style of our favourite celebrity?

Do you know what hair is? According to Hairfinder.com, it's basically protein (about 90%). PROTEIN! When I think of protein I think of meat. And murky, powdery shakes. When you think of hair in terms of a red, raw steak or one of those giant containers of muscle powder, it doesn't seem so appealing does it?

Also, do you know that when you cut hair off it grows right back? That when your stylist cuts a little too close to the ear, it's ok because it will be back to it's previous state within a couple of weeks? Yes, it's amazing but true. The point is nothing is permanent - much like the weather here in Nova Scotia, if you don't like what you see, wait a while and it will change.

I guess that's one of the great things about hair - that you can change it whenever you like! You can sport any shape or colour you can think of! You could carve Mt Rushmore in there if you really wanted to (but I wouldn't recommend going to First Choice Haircutters for that shiz). Hair, like fashion, can be used as a tool to express your personality, mood and style, as well as enhance or detract from your best and not-so-nice features. Plus, the products! Oh the products!

Ok, I am reminded why we are addicted. And I'm not ready to be cured.

So, I'm going to take advantage of the fact that hair can be changed easily and do just that - make a change. Not a drastic change, mind you (one step at a time people! I still have to do crazy things like to the OFFICE and, ya know, look like a human) but something - enough to give my look some more polish and shape, not to mention boost my mood and confidence. Something like this (just the cut, not the colour):

I wonder if they could do a face transplant while they're at it?! I've already got the J-Lo bootay!
Fingers crossed that this new style will alleviate my HOD symptoms, at least for a little while. Getting 'er done as soon as I can find someone who can get George Washington's face juuuuuust right. Stay tuned...

6 comments:

Joe said...

I think most people have issues with their hair. So consider yourself "normal" ... (I had to put that in quotes ;))

That said ... the thing about hair is ... shaving it off doesnt solve anything ... it only grows back ... and much the same ... and it actually feels worse that it was before. Been there ... done that.

Kim Humes said...

Good to know it's not just me! lol. You're right, I don't think anyone is really happy with what they have - all my curly-haired friends want my hair and I want theirs! Good to also hear from a male on this issue! Thanks for reading!

Melissa said...

I could go into a Women-and-Gender-Studies-major thing about the socially constructed relationship between hair and femininity, but I'll spare you. Also, I'll have you know that not only do I have HOD, but I'm also a Hair Narcissist. I think you know what I mean. I may be self-conscious about my figure or my pores or my nail beds but as far as I'm concerned from the hairline up I'm Kim Kardashian.

Conny @ Finding My Happy Place said...

I think I have the same type of hair. Thin strands and tons of them and this lovely humid NS weather is making it worse!!!

Conny @ Finding My Happy Place said...

I think I have the same type of hair. Thin strands and tons of them and this lovely humid NS weather is making it worse!!!

Kim Humes said...

Good to know it's not just me! lol. You're right, I don't think anyone is really happy with what they have - all my curly-haired friends want my hair and I want theirs! Good to also hear from a male on this issue! Thanks for reading!

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