Thursday, February 11, 2010

Love Stinks (yeah, yeah)

I've been thinking a lot about love and relationships lately. Of course this is mainly thanks to the fact that Valentine's Day is this weekend and therefore I've been inundated everywhere with pink and red and flowers and hearts and candy and sex positions and my boyfriend this and my fiance that for the past two weeks, with the pitch growing ever more feverish the closer that Sunday approaches.

This time of year has always intrigued me, but I can't say I've ever liked it overly much. I realize I'm a cynical single at the moment (I'm the first to admit it) but even when I was attached I didn't like it overly much. Some people are those romantic, head in the clouds, kittens and bubbles, true love seekers and some...well, aren't. I can definitively say that I fall into the latter camp.

Not that I don't believe in love and romance, I just feel that I have a more realistic viewpoint (some would say "pessimistic" but I prefer to use the afore-mentioned euphemism) about life, in that it doesn't turn out like a romantic comedy, oh, 99.99% of the time. In this case, I feel it's silly to put one's expectations or wrap one's entire life-experience into finding and keeping love as it's most likely not going to turn out how you want it to.

Ok, maybe I am a bit of a pessimist. But I don't necessarily see anything wrong with that! And again, it's not that I'm against romance. I DO have a romantic side deep down in there underneath all the Chandler-ese (I'm not dead inside!). In fact, hidden under the cynicism and fierce independence there is a lonely person yearning for affection and companionship (deep, deep down there, mind you). It's the cheesy romance stuff I don't like - I'm more partial to small, personal, thoughtful gestures than fuzzy teddy bears and gushy cards. It's the silly, everyday things that I think are romantic - getting flowers at work, coming home and finding dinner ready for me or the house really clean, him bringing home my favourite snack or movie just because. These are the things that make my heart flutter (so sue me).

I also don't feel that there should be such a focus on these cheesy, over-the-top, manufactured and copied gestures ONCE a year. Couples (and heck, everyone) should focus on doing small things for each other on a regular basis - I feel that this not only more meaningful but it's a really big part of what keeps a relationship going.

I'm not trying to get up on a high horse here, this is just my opinion. I'm sure some of this cynicism towards this holiday comes from the fact that I'm single and don't have a special someone to spend it with. If nothing else, there is a part of me that enjoys seeing the focus on love that this time of year brings, even if I'm not on the receiving end of any romantic gestures. After all, there's nothing wrong with the idea behind it all - that of spreading and proclaiming love in some way, shape or form to the people we care about in our lives (not JUST significant others). We don't have nearly enough love in the world, so it's nice to see. I personally plan on telling my family and friends that I love them this weekend and I think everyone else should too.

This all being said, even though I'm very comfortable and happy with my singleness (for the most part), it would be nice not to have that single-ness shoved in my face everywhere I turn. This shoving is at it's zenith this time of year and it's annoying. I will most likely spend Valentine's Day at home, in my pj's, unshowered, checking housekeeping items off my to-do list, eating take-out and talking to my cat (frankly, I'll be grateful to not be contending with the huge line-ups and shoulder-to-shoulder crowds at restaurants and movie theatres around town). So there, Hallmark. You can take that and shove it.


Unbreakable said...

I have to agree with some of what you have said, funny me and my girl was havving this discussion last night and you reflect some of her semtiments and views of these days.

But i am still hoping to take her out or maybe from a picture we took when we went to Cananda. very simple.

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